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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jan 27, 2017 18:29:25 GMT -5
"Well, what can we do then?" Aunt Angie asked.
"We'll try and build our own case, see what happened in them, and figure out a defense to each of them. If we can prove you had a solid alibi, you just may have a chance" the Public Defender said.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" MIs asked.
"Nothing I can think of" the Public Defender began.
"Goodbye" and MIs went to leave. (laugh track)
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Post by Eyes on Feb 5, 2017 1:12:24 GMT -5
"I told my sister that that little sh*t she had wouldn't turn out to be anything else but a goddamn motherf**king prick," said Aunt Angie.
"Hey! My girlfriend is currently childless, thank you very much!" *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 5, 2017 1:29:30 GMT -5
(CUT TO: Days later, the trial)
The five friends are sitting in the courtroom, WAAAAAYYYY in the back.
"Shouldn't we be closer to the front?" Tug asked.
"Nah, don't worry about it, Aunt Angie doesn't care" Eyes replied (laugh track)
"Why are we even here anyway?" Toz asked.
"I don't trust the media so I want the facts first hand" Frank said.
Aunt Angie was lead out in cuffs to the defense table, sitting with her public defender. The District attorney presenting the case sat down on the other table.
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Post by Eyes on Feb 5, 2017 1:32:54 GMT -5
"I call as my first witness... עסן דרעק מאָטהערפוקקערס."
"Who the f**k?!" *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 5, 2017 1:36:22 GMT -5
"We're not up to that! The judge isn't even here" the public defender whispered.
"Oh... uh... I withdraw" Aunt Angie said.
"All rise for the honorable Judge Albert Thompson" the bailiff said. Everyone stood as the judge came out and took his seat.
"Angelina Donarillo, you have been charged with 17 counts, including various arson, murder, burglary and auto theft charges; how do you plead?" the judge asked.
"Guilty" she replied.
"WHAT?!" The five friends said in shock (laugh track)
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Post by Eyes on Feb 5, 2017 1:38:28 GMT -5
"YEAH MOTHERF**KERS! GUILTY!!" And she pulled out a machine gun and began firing.
*laughtrack and WHOA! from audience*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 5, 2017 1:41:00 GMT -5
(dream swirl, cut to: Frank wakes up)
"h-huh?!" What happened?" He asked. (laugh track)
"Aunt Angie is about to plea" Eyes replied.
"Oh" Frank said.
"How do you plea?" the judge asked.
"Guilty" Aunt Angie replied.
"WHAT?!" The five friends gasped
"Pardon?" The judge asked.
"I plead guilty, because I did not do those crimes, I am innocent" Aunt Angie replied (laugh track)
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Post by Eyes on Feb 5, 2017 1:44:13 GMT -5
"But that's an illogical contradiction..."
"AND 3WSR HAS A BOARD TITLED THAT WHAT'S YOUR POINT??" *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 5, 2017 1:57:07 GMT -5
The public defender whispered something into her ear.
"What? Oh, sorry, I meant NOT guilty" Aunt Angie corrected herself.
"Now that this is settled, let the prosecutor make his opening statements" The judge said.
The district attorney stood up, "Ladies and gentlemen, before stands a terrible human being who has committed numerous crimes. I plan to make an example out of her, and make her pay for what she has done. In addition..."
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Post by Toz76 on Feb 25, 2017 1:07:51 GMT -5
"It would complete my revenge..."
The district attorney removed his hat to reveal...
"Toz!?"
"No, I'm his brother, Tiberius O. Zeno! From the episode with the bands!"
"Wasn't that all just a dream, though?"
"Maybe, I dunno, but I'm a real person, and I'm here to destroy my brother's life by arresting this woman he cares about!"
"Dude, no one likes Aunt Angie."
"Oh." Zeno thought. "Lawsuit withdrawn, your honor."
"Acquitted on all charges!" Yelled the judge. *gavel* *laughtrack*
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Post by Eyes on Feb 25, 2017 1:18:46 GMT -5
Aunt Angie leaped out of the chair and shook the judge's hand. "Thank you, Your Honor!"
Then she turned around, found MIs, grabbed his ear and yelled something into it which he never heard because it instantly went deaf. *laughtrack*
"So," said Toz elsewhere, "now what?"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 25, 2017 1:25:13 GMT -5
The real district attorney came out and said "no, no, you're not getting off that easily; the charges stay your honor!" The district attorney called out.
"Oh, I uh...Ok" the judge said.
"Darn it!" Aunt Angie fumed.
And so, some time passed. The opening statements were made, and then the district attorney presented the first piece of evidence.
"... in this particular case with the Grand Theft auto charge, we happened to find surveillance video of the incident. And when we enhance, who do we see..."
In the screen shot in the car, was someone who looked like a younger Aunt Angie.
"I object! That is not me!" Aunt Angie screamed, looking nervous.
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Post by Eyes on Feb 25, 2017 1:29:13 GMT -5
"You're right!" said a man. "It isn't you! I have the proof!"
So he showed the proof, Aunt Angie got acquitted, ~fin~. *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 25, 2017 1:36:25 GMT -5
"Out of order!" The judge fumed; striking that from the record (laugh track)
And the prosecutor went through each of the 17 cases, with murder, arson, burglary, and grand theft auto.
Eventually, Aunt Angie was put on the stand to answer for everything.
"Ma'am, is it true you did not like any of these people?"
"Well...yes" Aunt Angie said.
"And is it also true you wished they were dead?"
"Well...yes"
"And do you know that it was your wrench that was found at one of the crime scenes, covered in blood, and was eventually linked to all the murders?"
"I guess"
"And this crowbar of yours... linked to all the burglaries. Of the people you, again, did not like, correct?"
"well...yes"
"So then... how could you NOT have done it?" The attorney asked.
"I... was in Spokane Washington!" Aunt Angie said.
"You never went to Spokane!" Eyes called out
"Whose side are you on?!" Aunt Angie fumed (laugh track)
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Post by Toz76 on Feb 25, 2017 1:40:15 GMT -5
"The evidence against you is insurmountable. Plead guilty and you'll get a more lenient sentence." Aunt Angie's lawyer advised.
"Okay. I confess. I did all these things. Why? To make my boy Eyes happy. He is in love with a woman named Nessetarina who loves violence. I wanted to show him how to win her heart, but I needed practice first."
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Post by Eyes on Feb 25, 2017 1:41:13 GMT -5
"Mrs. Donnarillo, the court finds you... guilty on all charges!"
"Well good! I'm happy! I did murder those people, and you're next on my list!"
"Wait, wha-" but before he could finish his skull was smashed in with a hammer and Aunt Angie began slaughtering the court, crying out, "I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING, I AM A DERANGED PSYCHOPATH!!"
Aunt Angie shot out of bed. "Woah, what a crazy dream," she said. Then he turned over and fell back asleep...
...and woke up again in the court room.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 25, 2017 1:44:42 GMT -5
"Ms. Donarillo, if you fall asleep one more time, I will hold you in contempt!" The judge warned.
"Well this whole thing is just going on and on, what do you expect? Why can't you be more like judge Judy?" Aunt Angie said (laugh track)
The case continued, she was on the stand.
"So... why did you do all these terrible things?" The attorney asked.
"But I didn't!" Aunt Angie said.
"There's no use denying it! The evidence against you is solid!" The district attorney pointed out.
"That still doesn't mean I did it!" Aunt Angie said (laugh track)
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Post by Eyes on Feb 25, 2017 1:46:43 GMT -5
"IT DOES!" said the judge. "NOW SUCK IT UP AND-"
"Your honor..." *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Feb 25, 2017 1:52:10 GMT -5
"Man I love out bigger budget!" Eyes declared. (laugh track)
And so, the attorney wrapped up his case.
"In short, Ms. Donarillo did not like these people; so she stole their cars, burglarized their houses, burned their houses, then killed them. The prosecution rests."
And so, the public defender went up to speak.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the evidence may be strong and undeniable, but consider this..." the public defender began.
everyone began listening.
The Public defender then began speaking "Four score and seven years ago..." (laugh track)
(CUT TO: Everyone in the gallery looked confused) (Laugh track)
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Post by Eyes on Feb 25, 2017 1:55:00 GMT -5
"I mean, *clears throat* We, the United States of America... I mean, Thou shalt not have... I mean, oh say can you... aw, f*ck it!" *laughtrack*
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