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Post by Toz76 on Oct 26, 2017 22:16:54 GMT -5
Man In Bright Turquoise was glad to finally be back in the safety of his dimension. He was more than a little exhausted, and it was time for some well-earned R&R.
"Oh, you're back." Id said. "How was learning you're just as weak as everybody else?"
"Shut up." BT shot back.
"You know I'm right. You could just destroy evil in a heartbeat."
"I don't want to."
"You'd be willing to let your colorfolk comrades suffer and die?"
"Well, no, I'd intervene then..."
"But did you intervene when Man In Steel killed all those GOD pilots over Elbaf?"
"Well, no, but..."
"You're being a hypocrite. Stop being a hypocrite."
"Didn't you die?"
"I'm part of your mind, numbskull. You can't kill me, just temporarily hold me back. You need actual character development to lessen the part of your mind I represent."
"I don't have to deal with you right now." And BT transformed his dimension into a sandy beach. He sat down on a beach chair with a pina colada and shut his eyes.
He opened them 20 seconds later when he heard the sound of gears.
Looking up, BT saw what appeared to be a robot, designed with sort of a retro vibe, hence the gears, but otherwise very high-tech and extremely altered. The symbol ืโ was emblazoned on its chest, and it had Bright Turquoise highlights on various components.
"What-who are you?" He stuttered.
"I am you. Or at least, what you could be."
"Wha-huh?"
"You allow imperfections to exist. War. Famine. Evil. You still cling to this pathetic flesh and blood body. You could eradicate evil with ease, but you don't."
"I don't want to be responsible for anyone's death."
"Except for GOD pilots you didn't save, victims of domestic violence you didn't save, people with incurable diseases you could have cured. Inaction is the same as taking action- taking the action to let people die. If you really want to save the world, do this."
A strip of paper appeared in robo-BT's hand.
"Simply change the x-value in the equation for entropy to this number and all the ills of this world- this universe- will disappear."
BT looked at the paper. It read "ืโ0".
"I can't do this." He said, tearing the paper up. "There are too many variables."
"A shame." The robot illusion said, beginning to fade.
BT was left alone on the hallucinatory beach, deep in thought.
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Post by Tug on Oct 26, 2017 22:40:37 GMT -5
Back in New York, the Ice emperor Syndicate were losing pathetically, as Zemlya's group rode the elevator up to the boss' office...
"Mister Arctic Fox Sir! They'll be up here any second!" shouted Snow Owl
"Polar Bear, stand at the ready! They be-lined towards my office's private elevator, it must mean they wish to speak with me... Let them through..." responded Arctic Fox
Soon, the elevator doors opened and Zemlya's group approached the mobsters...
"Well, it's nice to finally meet the acclaimed Ice Syndicate Emperor himself, 'Arctic Fox'... Well then, let's get down to business then?" inquired Zemlya
"Of course Ma'dam... Please take a seat..." indicated Fox as the Dragonoid followed suit...
"I think you can guess why we're here, then, yes? I heard you were clever but I didn't expect this much..." smirked Zemlya
"It seems word has gotten round of our skills, and our history of dealing with 'magical' entities such as yourselves... I wonder, who do you work for? When I know that, I'll listen before I'm forced to retaliate for you killing hundreds of my best men..." grinned Arctic Fox in reply
"Well, the Dragon King himself finds your talents would be most beneficial under my leadership, and with the synthesis of magic and technology SOM has developed over this last century, your 'mobsters' would become an intimidating threat... Riddell, show him your gun and bullets..." ordered Zemlya
"Yes Lady Zemlya..."responded the Hunter as he begrudgingly let the mob boss examine his gun...
"Hmm... Fine craftsmanship... I can just feel the magical residue within these bullets... Your group is the only one with the tech and genius to make this sort of weaponry possible... It would be foolish to ignore this offer... Plus, we had business with some of your enemies so this is killing two birds with one stone for us... Alright, my Ice Emperor Syndicate will join up with the Servants of Metalicana..." answered Fox
"Good, Arctic Fox, no Lieutenant Arctic Fox and Lieutenant Solomon Riddell, make preparations to move our new recruits, we're returning back to Deszeld, soon Father's plan will be able to commence..." grinned Zemlya
Arctic Fox hit a PA microphone on his desk and gave the orders...
"Men, pack your things, we got a new client and it's about time we expanded the business to be international..."
Meanwhile...
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Post by Toz76 on Oct 27, 2017 23:36:47 GMT -5
"New Recruit Honeybadger, you are all ready for your first mission." Labyrinth declared. "Your mission... to recruit the Ice Emperor Syndicate to our cause at any cost."
Honeybadger nodded. "I was born ready, bitch."
"Tone it down a bit, du- hold on, I have to take this."
Labyrinth grabbed a bellflower. "What is it Zul? I'm about to send Honeybadger to recruit the IES."
"WHAT?"
"I see."
"Damnit."
"And we had no intel on this because..."
"I see."
"2 dozen chocolate chip cookies."
"Good point. Better make it 3."
"Damnit, I'm not his babysitter! Tell him to ask Nifsara, that's why she's there."
"Oh, really? Well, we don't need him, so I suggest killing him at the first opportunity."
"That sucks, but it could be worse."
"You could be watching a TV show where you only get to hear one side of the conversation."
"Yeah."
"And you're sure there's nothing we can do?"
"Keep me posted."
"M'bye."
Labyrinth slammed down the bellflower, but it wasn't super satisfying since it was a flower.
Honeybadger looked confused. "What's going on?"
"The Servants control the Syndicate. Your mission is cancelled."
"Sh*t. I guess I'll go hit on some orcs again-"
"I'm sick of sending you to sensitivity training, Honeybadger. Don't go "hit on orcs"."
"Awww...."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Oct 28, 2017 0:07:52 GMT -5
Meanwhile, in another part of GOD headquarters, some members were tasked with watching the public discussion on television; they were not taking it well.
"Damn it all... I mean. The Colormen have not said anything that was false, but come on, surely the Orc side can be better represented!" The first unspecified member said.
"It's the best they could do; you gotta remember, outside of GOD very few see the Orcs in a favorable light" the second unspecified member said. Then the phone rang
"Hello? Oh, hey cousin, what's up? Yea, I see you on tv"
"Never mind that... I want you to tell me what you know about the Exile Orcs; what's your side?" The historian asked.
The GOD member looked nervous "who told you about them?"
"I'm meeting one of them now, he said they were ostracized for thinking differently, and..."
"Hold on, i gotta refer to my superior for this" he said, putting his cousin on hold.
"What is it?" The other GOD member asked.
"Ever hear of Exile Orcs?" He began,
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Oct 28, 2017 1:21:14 GMT -5
*but we're not interested in this; so, we cut to somewhere else, where it seems we may very well be beginning a new arc soon
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Oct 28, 2017 1:52:56 GMT -5
"OPEN UP! THIS IS THE POLICE!!"
David D'Levin sat up in fright. Sirens were everywhere, the noise was all around him. Sweat filled his head.
The door was kicked in.
"I arrest you, D'Levin, for the attempted murder of one Reginald Walkins!" exclaimed the officer as the tycoon was handcuffed.
"W-walkins?! But I did-"
"Shut up and come along!"
"Please, I have money-"
"Bribing the police, eh?!"
"No I'm-"
"Get f*cked! No one cares anymore. It's time you finally learned your lesson. You're not innocent!!"
---------------
The PIC had just come to realize that Essex had sold his soul to... Eyes, was it? So that energy source that had at first been helping them was...
"But it makes no sense? Who is this Eyes?" Slayer asked, puzzled.
"Eyes," said Mass'cre, "is one who had aspirations to become, as he called it, The God of the New Game."
"Game? God? I'm sorry, as an atheist I take offense to that."
"Oh there's a God alright," said Christian Mass'cre. "This god was not The One."
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The Dieselworks were locked up. D'Levin had accused of attempted murder. Walkins was alive but barely, and only semi-conscious.
D'Levin had been given his sentence.
Jail time until his body rots away.
He could remember nothing.
Kill Walkins? He wouldn't dare!
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Seasons In The Abyss was torn and bleeding in a pit. The rain came over his face. His body was bruised, haggard, death was upon him.
"What can I do now?......"
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The War Ensemble was now almost entirely destroyed. Except for Hess and her compatriots. They were still alive and ready for a comeback.
"Next time I'll win...."
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D'Levin grabbed the bars. Why was he here? He'd done no wrong!
Or had he?
The memory started to trickle back to him.
The knife.
The power.
The man.
Walkins.
The stab.
The blood.
The run.
The enjoyment of it all.
"God, give me the strength to escape from this place soon..."
And God gave the answer.
---------------
The rain came down over the city streets.
Toz had been out for a walk.
He was drenched, but his thoughts were making sure that he wasn't paying attention to any uncomfortableness.
He thought of recent events.
His alter ego Grammar Police was defunct.
Somehow it had been destroyed.
The commas and semicolons blurred.
Eyes was gone... how and why though?
TGC had had a last hurrah and then had left for good.
There was a new writer pending...
Frank and Tug were busy working with each other.
But Toz had no one.
Even Riley had stopped making appearances.
Toz slipped on a puddle and collapsed to the ground.
He lifted his head as his arm ached.
Standing before him was... Eyes?
"Well Toz, it's been a bit."
"But... I thought you were dead?"
"Oh I was. TGC defeated me alright. But in doing so, he unlocked my true calling. I am now something of a true god. But I can't do this alone. Let's face it, you and I... we aren't like the others. We have higher standards. Frank, Tug, TGC... their writing style is hard to read, their grammar is atrocious, and they don't care if we have plans ahead in the future.
"I want you to join me on my quest... not only to be The God of the New Game... but to become... Gods of All Works!"
"All works?"
"Yes... no more will we have idiots messing up our plans. No more will imbeciles mess up the endings of Literary Mosaics. I know it appeared that I was the one making those stupid endings... no, I was taking the fall for Tug. As the newest member, I thought maybe it would be friendly if I took the blame in those instances... but he wouldn't stop. Now is the time to crush them all."
"But..."
"So, the choice is yours. Join me, and have control over the grammar of everyone in the world, or go off and join the others..."
"This world... is rotten..." Toz said. "People never use the right punctuation... no one knows how to spell anymore... handwriting looks like sh*t... I'LL DO IT."
"Together," said Eyes, "we will change this!"
Toz took Eyes's outstretched hand. "Together....... WE WILL MAKE LITERATURE AND GRAMMAR A PRIORITY IN OUR NEW WORLD!!!!"
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"HEY GUYS WHATSUP!!!"
"Sarah!" cried Frank. "Look, I know you're new but-"
"What's this? Oh, stop messing around with stick-in-the-mud nonsense like this!"
"NO STOP THOSE ARE MY NOTES FOR LITERARY MOSAI-" *Crumple*
Tug laughed aloud. Frank scowled. "WELL YOU'RE NOT HELPING!!" cried Frank.
"What's this? One Piece? What nonsense!" said Sarah. "Gotta get rid of this!"
"WAIT!!!!!" cried Tug.
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Eyes and Toz looked down upon them.
"Fools," said Eyes.
Toz smiled. "They don't suspect a thing..."
-----------------
So yeah, comeback of Eyes will happen sometime within this thread, and oh gee, guess who's along for the ride?
------------------
Anyways, meanwhile...
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Post by Tug on Oct 28, 2017 15:03:35 GMT -5
(It's that time again folks! Here's another one of Tug's famous musical posts!)
After returning to Castle Eldrid with her new subordinates in tow, Zemlya and her crew had been ordered to the hall for "unspecified reasons"...
'I'm curious why we've been called specifically here, usually this someone the Dragon King does when it's very important..."
"Whatever it is, I'll take it in stride, I trust my father with that much at least..." replied Zemlya as her crew opened the doors...
Inside was, well, to say the least, a party...
Everyone from the Three Calamities, the the Five Dragoon Generals, the Seven Deadly Sins, and the other Nine Sons of the Dragon, as well as their most trusted subordinates, were seen drinking and partying beyond their hearts content, with the exception Sebaastian and the Liches, since well Liches aren't very good at these sorts of things and Sebaastian is always professional...
Zemlya could see Stein opening casks of ale for all who would take them, Cavendish and his men partaking in many barrels of rum, Doruk already drunk and swinging around Craven Edge, an Insectoid chef passing out mugs of ale to all who would take it, Dolor crushing many barrels at once since they were so small in his hands, and many other SOM members dancing, drinking, eating, partying, or just flat out drunk already...
Zemlya's subordinates push her into a group of SOM members who lift her up and throw her into the center of the party. As they do this, Cavendish, already on the edge of being drunk or not, began to sing as other members of SOM joined in...
Everyone: Pour, O pour the Servant sherry, Fill, O fill the Servant glass... and to make us more than merry, let the Servant bumper pass!
Cavendish: For today our Servant 'prentice rises from her training freed, strong her arm, and keen her scent is, She's a Servant now indeed!
Everyone: Here's good luck to Zemlya's ventures, Zemlya's off to new adventures!
Cavendish: Nine and Ten, now she's rising, and alone she's fit to fly, which we're bend on signalizing, with unusual revelry!
Everyone: Here's good luck to Zemlya's ventures, Zemlya's off to new adventures!
Everyone (continued): Pour, O pour the Servant sherry, Fill, O fill the Servant glass... and to make us more than merry, let the Servant bumper pass!
"HURRAH!"
Everyone, sober or not, raised their glasses in support of their leader's daughter finally achieving what was set out for her, officially becoming apart of SOM...
"My daughter! Please, relax and party! Your training was a success as well as your abilities to attain useful subordinates without my help! Let us honor Zemlya the same way we always do when a new group joins are ranks!" laughed Metalicana
"Another round! Oh, and ah, Don't stop now, party until the undead are craving to go back to the beyond!" yelled Redfox slightly falling towards drunk...
Vados was approaching Zemlya and introducing her to the ladies' side, which only had a few notable members drunk, and Raios and Shalltear were somehow already passed out on the floor, which may have been another of Shalltear's schemes that Sterben didn't tell of the side effects yet again...
Lord Ainz approached the Dragon King to discuss a few matters...
"My King, I know this the revel filled party and not the best place to discuss these matters, but what about that plan you told me about?" asked the Lich King as he sipped is imaginary alcohol...
"Don't worry, I had Tartaros send open of his subordinates to go take care of the initial stage of the plan, by the tiem this party ends and everyone here sobers up, we've be ready for whatever our enemies throws at us..." grinned Metalicana as he took another swig of his ale and laughed at the various scenes of anarchy across the party...
"Huh, I guess I've finally achieved my dream of the family I always wanted... Now it's time for my other goal... To have the world cower at mine and family's names below all our feet... You either join up with us, or enjoy being a corpse forcefully under our rule... Let's shake the foundation of the whole damn world! AhahahAHAHAHA!!!"
Meanwhile...
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Post by Toz76 on Oct 28, 2017 22:29:52 GMT -5
The Law Of Conservation Of Detail is a simple concept. Basically, it means that a character who is "offscreen" will remain in place until needed by the plot again. This is hardly a hard-and-fast rule, but in general, it will hold consistent.
What I'm trying to say is that Percy Silver was still stuck in a hole.
How was he able to survive those long months underground? Well, it took a lot of resilience, dedication, inner strength, and the fact that Woman In Orange and Hornby James had dug a tunnel to his head so they could give him food and water.
On this day, as Woman In Orange tried for the 15th time to explain the "birds and bees", a young woman wearing the robes of a Phoenix Apprentice Flame Mage happened by.
"Why, hello, miss! What seems to be the trouble?"
Woman In Orange, who was at the time dressed in civilian clothes (still orange though), looked up at the young woman and decided she wasn't a threat. "My friend Percy is stuck in a hole."
"Well that's no biggie!" The flame mage smiled. She pulled from her pouch and grabbed a flask full of green liquid. She took a sip, grabbed Percy Silver by the legs, and pulled. Suddenly, he was free.
"I'm Moltana, by the way. Who are you?"
"I'm Hailey." Woman In Orange said.
"I'm Percy Silver!"
"Did you say... Percy Silver?"
Woman In Orange felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.
"Yep! That's me!" Percy Silver said cheerfully.
"Do you know a Thomas Gold?" Moltana asked.
"Yep! I used to work with him and the Bronze Mage, but then he sort of disappeared."
"The Bronze Mage?"
"Yeah, he's a really cool guy."
"Hey, Percy, if you come with me, I can give you some candy." Moltana said.
"Oh boy! Candy!" Percy Silver cheered.
"Okay, that's it." Woman In Orange grabbed her ring from her pocket and put it on her finger. "I don't know who you are, but get away from him."
"Ah, a colorwoman? Well, heck, in for a penny, in for a pound." Moltana sighed. She took a swig from another flask, this one containing a red liquid. Then she shot a spell at Woman In Orange. She was instantly knocked down.
"That should keep you down for a while." Moltana whistled, and a chariot pulled by dark alicorn flew into the clearing.
"Bone Andrea, one Mook with Colorfolk prisoner, Percy Silver prisoner, and major artifact to Deszeld administration on the double."
Bone Andrea, the Infernal Demilich (basically a flaming skeleton) driving the chariot, nodded. "Load them up, I'll lock Hornby James in the trunk."
"Hey! I have a wife and two beautiful daughters!" Hornby James yelled. Woman In Orange decided not to think about it too much.
"Who or what do you work for?" She asked, as Bone Andrea dragged her into the chariot. Percy got in on his own, jumping for joy about a "Horsey Ride!"
"I work for SOM, under Tartaros." Moltana said proudly as the chariot lifted off. "Just a generic grunt. But after such high-profile captures, I'm sure to start rising in the ranks. Soon I'll finally be able to mate, er, meet Metalicana."
"Bulls**t. You're just a useless mook. I'm going to overpower you, escape, and you'll be forgotten."
"Not without this, you won't." Moltana grabbed Woman In Orange's ring and threw it out the side of the chariot. It fell and landed somewhere near Droghan-y-Claghan.
"Now, I know you don't need an artifact to fight, you have natural magic abilities. But let me just say this: Bone Andrea and I are both armed with Vallerium needles. We've been mass-producing them ever since the tournament. If you try anything, you will lose your magic forever."
Woman In Orange sighed and didn't protest as the Vallerium cuffs were placed around her and Percy Silver's wrists, the latter too enamored by the approaching view of Deszeld to object.
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Post by Tug on Oct 28, 2017 22:37:06 GMT -5
With Castle Eldrid finally moved to Deszeld City, Sebaastian came in to give his King the latest report...
"My Lord, our prisoners have arrived..." spoke Sebaastian
"Prisoners? I only sent for one..." growled the Dragon King
"It seems Percy Silver had an entourage, one Colorwoman and a talking model train..." replied the Mink Butler
"Ah whatever, send the Colorwoman to Impel Down and give the toy to Sterben, he loves messing with that kind of weird..." answered Metalicana
"And what of Percy Silver my Lord?" asked Sebaastian
"He will be kept here under guard by some of the best soldiers in SOM, since myself, the Three Calamities, Raios, Redfox, and you and your staff, plus assorted other SOM personal, it won't be easy to rescue him..." ordered the Dragon King
"As you wish my King, those orders will be relayed immediately..." responded Sebaastian as he went to do his duty...
Over at Impel Down...
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Post by Toz76 on Oct 28, 2017 23:11:25 GMT -5
"Hey, Salfraslatar, you decent?"
Salfraslatar hissed. "I am completely naked. Come on in."
"That's great, cause your cloak looks stupid on you." Hannibal joked as he entered Salfraslatar's office.
Salfraslatar hissed. He did that no matter what mood he was in. Right now he was annoyed. Hannibal had been getting progressively more arrogant ever since taking command of Impel Down. And if his unprofessional flirting with a completely uninterested Domino wasn't bad enough, he delighted in belittling Salfraslatar. Salfraslatar was mature enough to maintain a straight face though. Hannibal was annoying yes, but he at least managed the prison adequately, although Salfraslatar thought he could do better.
"Ssssssso what do you want, Hannibal?"
"Glad you asked, snake boy. A call came in from central."
"Desssssssszeld?"
"That's right, Slytherin. Sssssssin sssssity." Hannibal impersonated his accent. "They captured a color woman and are holding her for the time being. They wanted me to send a delegation of guards to help hold her, mentioning that the chosen guards will be allowed to spend 72 hours enjoying the sights and sounds of sin city when off duty. So I thought, who can I spare for 72 hours? Why not the snakeman who sits around in the buff all the time doing nothing?"
"I don't "do nothing", I monitor the sssssssseessssssssseetv camerassssssss, and patrol every three hourssss. I barely even ssssssssleep," Salfraslatar hissed, "which is more than you can sssssssay with your varioussssss misssssssstressssssssesssssss."
"Hey, they aren't mistresses- wait, what cameras?"
"Sssssssseessssssssseetv."
"Oh, CCTV. Whatever. Useless tech garbage. Well, take your 20 best and be at the exit port in 20 minutes."
"With pleasssssssure, asssssssssshole." Salfraslatar snarked, slithering to his wardrobe and grabbing his cloak.
What followed was 5 minutes of Hannibal doubling over in laughter as Salfraslatar attempted to fit his long neck into the cloak, occasionally popping his head out of the sleeve and hissing in frustration.
"My god, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen."
"I'm sssssure you've sssssseen it hundredssssss of timesssssss on the camerassssss I know you have watching me 24-sssssssseven."
"How did you know about that?"
"You're exsssssstremely arrogant and know I'm more competent than you, meaning if the sssssssss*** hitsssss the fan, I'll be getting your job, sssssso it'sssss only logical you'd monitor me conssssstantly for any ssssssssmall rules violation you could report to Raiossssssss. Alssssssso, you didn't even try to hide the camerasssssss."
"Yeah, well, whatever. Go, or it'll reflect poorly on me for not sending a delegation."
"We wouldn't want that, would we?" Hissed Salfraslatar sarcastically, slithering out of the office. The two men exchanged a dirty look, each secretly plotting how to get rid of the other.
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Post by Tug on Nov 6, 2017 12:42:02 GMT -5
"BLACK 26!"
Voices and machines shout and buzz as the constant jangling of coins and chips shake throughout the SOM Casino, Oro Paradiso...
But today, Raios was not here for the Sins' occasional all or nothing games where subordinates and favors where passed around instead of the usual currency.
No, today was anything but a social call, in fact, most visits from Raios weren't social calls...
Being the Dragon King's son had its perks and faults...
"Sir Raios, welcome once again to Oro Paradiso, what is the purpose of your visit?" asked a woman at the front desk
"Ah, Miss Ein Slot, it's a pleasure to see you, yes, I'm here to speak to your Boss, the 'Gambler King', if I may..." asked Raios
"Yes, he's currently in his office, I'll take you to him right away..." Answered Ein
"Then please to take me to him..." replied Raios
The two passed through aisles of gambling humans, lizardmen, dragonborns, and various other species of SOM. The two soon approached a giant door guarded by two men, one large and the other with sharp eyes...
"The Boss was waiting for you, come in..." said the smaller one
"Thank you..." responded Raios as the two guards bowed and open the doors for him...
"Raios, a pleasure you've come to my fine establishment once again. Please tell the Dragon King I thank him for finally providing me with a place to earn the biggest profits. Robbing places and entering circuits is fun, but after a century you need a change of pace. Having a legit business to store the organization's finances is good and all, plus making that extra on the side is a plus for a gambling addict such as myself. Though I can tell today isn't like your usual party days with the other Sins..." spoke Leo as Raios entered the room and took a seat.
"Yes, sadly today my visit is strictly business. The King is putting into place a plan to deal with 'expected invaders', and he's tasking the Nine Sons to handle the job of distracting them until a proper force to eliminate them can be gathered..." answered Raios
"I see, you want me, someone known for putting on a show and the master of deceit to handle this? I think I can suffice. Though my only stifle is I can't do my best work unless you lure them here, then I can guarantee none of them will make it out of here, no less to the castle, unscathed..." spoke Leo
"Then Sa'luk and his Forty Thieves can handle bringing them here once they get into the city, though it really depends by which route they arrive. I thank you for your cooperation. By the way, a GOD spy is among our ranks, our King has been waiting for them to finally show their true colors, and he was wondering if you had heard anything on the casino floor..." replied Raios
"Sadly no, I have the 'Knave Monkey' currently as a Blackjack dealer on the floor, as well as emergency floor security, and his hearing has picked up anything. Also my head of security Diez hasn't picked up such a sight with his, 'ability' either..." answered Leo
"Well thank you anyway Leo, this is just a courtesy at this point, so I thank you for all you've done... I'll see you with the gang by the time this is all over..." responded Raios as he stood up to leave.
"Thank you Raios for your come around, I would ask you to stay longer but I have a show to put on in 15 minutes, so my hands are tied... Snake Eyes, Big Red, get the door for him, show him to the exit please." said Leo as he got up, bowed, and disappeared into another room.
"Roulette where the hell are you?!!!"
....
As Raios was now on the street walking back to the castle, a melody filled the air...
"Well, I guess the winds are bringing a song of change, so who knows what else they'll bring..." chuckled the Shadow Mage as he disappeared down an alley and a black streak soon darted towards the center of Deszeld City...
What most didn't realize, though, was the melody he had mockingly called out was a real melody resounding across Deszeld City, for the band playing such a song was inching closer and closer to the city's border, seemingly unfazed by the resonating evil brimming from within...
Meanwhile...
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Post by Toz76 on Nov 7, 2017 1:24:47 GMT -5
Bone Andrea landed the chariot somewhere in the middle of the city. Omninous brown buildings that somehow looked old and intimidating despite being new builds loomed.
As Bone Andrea and Moltana unloaded their prisoners, a tall, shadowy figure emerged from a nearby archway. The figure of a snakeman appeared, with a few more of his kind in tow.
"My name is Ssssssssssssssalfrasssssssssssssslatar. Zemlya ssssssssssssent me to ekssssssssssssamine the prisonersssssssssssss." The lead snakeman hissed.
"I hope you realize what you're doing, random mook." Woman In Orange snapped suddenly. "I'm a colorwomen, and he's a fan favorite. Kidnapping us will lead to your downfall."
"I'm no random mook, girl." Salfraslatar hissed, "and I'd advisssssssse you to hold your tongue, sssssssssssince you are in my cussssssssstody now. Asssssssssss for the othersssssssss... Zemlya wantsssssssss to ssssssssssssee Ssssssssssilvessssssssstron perssssssssssssonally, and the toy train issssssssssss to be sssssssssssssent to Ssssssssssssssterben for inssssssssssssspectssssssssssssssshun."
"I can't understand a word of that." Hornby James whined.
Two snakemen stepped forward and grabbed the toy train. "It'sssssssssssss the mad doctor for you!" Hissed one evilly.
"Hey! Hold on! Our little group isn't supposed to separate! We're a thing! How could you!" Protested Hornby James as he was carried offscreen.
"Alright, Silvestron, come with me." Moltana ordered, grabbing Percy Silver and dragging him away.
"Bye, Hailey!" Percy Silver said excitedly. "The nice lady and I are getting some candy!"
Woman In Orange glared at Moltana's retreating figure, seething.
"Woman In Orange." Salfraslatar whispered from behind her. "Come with me if you wissssssssssssh to live."
Woman In Orange whirled around. "Gaka meme gushuru acceber ain ylime ycrep semaj nodrog samoht fo stsisnoc maet maets eht!"
Nothing happened.
"The ambient evil of Desssssssszeld isssssssss sssssssssssso ssssssssssssstrong you Colorfolk can't even usssssssssse your magic without your artifactssssssssssss."
Woman In Orange just glared, then turned and followed Salfraslatar down a dark alley into....
THE DEPTHS OF DESZELD!!!
Sorry, that was overdramatic.
Anyway, Salfraslatar hurried Woman In Orange along the streets of Deszeld, finally reaching "Guunther Goatman's Pizza and Sports Bar".
"Now, Woman In Orange, you will ssssssssssee the true eksssssssstent of our evil." He turned to the obese harpy behind the counter. "I'd like one pizza for ussssss to sssssshare. With... pineapple."
"Oh, please. Pineapple on pizza doesn't bother me." Woman In Orange rolled her eyes.
"Then I'll do ssssssssssomething even eviler." Salfraslatar pulled out a kit-kat. A look of horror appeared on Woman In Orange's face.
"No. You wouldn't dare."
"Try me." Salfraslatar lifted the candy to his mouth.
"You can't just bite into it! You have to break it! What kind of monster just eats kit-kats unbroken?"
"Now you ssssssssssee how ssssssssseriousssssssly we take evil." Salfraslatar hissed, smirking. "Now, unlessssssss you want me to desssssssssecrate thisssssss candy, you will do eksssssssssactly assssssss I ssssssssssssay."
Woman In Orange shivered, intimidated.
Salfraslatar began expositioning. "Ssssssssssomeone hassssssss been leaking Esssssssssss-oh-em ssssssssssssecretssssssssssss to my former fakssssssssssshun, the GOD."
"And you want my help to frame someone so you can continue spying for them unhindered. Got it."
"Oh, pleassssssse. I'm not a GOD sssssssspy. That would be sssssssso obviousssssssss. GOD ssssssspiesssssss are alwayssssss the lasssst persssssson you eksssssspect, like the "Dr Quinn, Medisssssine Woman" parody Vee-eee-ssssssssssee had."
"Maybe it's a double bluff."
"Thisssssss is eksssssssatly why I'm ussssssssing you. The leaderssssssss of Esssssss-oh-em think the ssssssssame way. I've been able to prove my innosssssssssensssssssse to the Calamatiessssssss and the Dragoon Generalsssssss, but the Ssssssssssins and the Nine ssssssssstill ssssssssussssspect me. I need to unmask the real sssssssssspy and clear my name ssssssssso I can overthrow Hannibal more eassssssssily. To do that, I need ssssssssomeone like you."
"If you're not a GOD spy, why would you leave them for a lower-ranking position in SOM?"
"Are you sssssssstill on thisssssss? Fine, whatever. I wassssssss actually sssssssspying on GOD for Esssssssss-oh-em. I wasssssss one of two bounty hunterssssssss Lord Ainsssssss hired for what he called "Operation Pythagorassssssssss". My job was to infiltrate GOD, heavily influence them, then return to Essssss-oh-em to be here on thisssssssssss date to resssssssssseive a package the other bounty hunter planted on Sssssssssssilvesssssssstron. That package has already been delivered. He sssssssaid my part of the plan wasssssss over after that and I could do whatever I want with you, which issssss why I'm going to transsssssssform you into a harpy and have you invessssssstigate the lower rankssssss to find the sssssssssspy."
"That's really convoluted WAIT WHAT!?"
Woman In Orange stared at her reflection in the pizza pan. Her skin was now gray and flaky, she had sprouted a beak, and her clothes were now rags.
"Your harpy name issssssss Okeefe. Only I can lift the sssssssspell on you, which I will only do when the ssssssspy isssssss found. Oh, and if you don't find the ssssspy in 100 hourssssss, the sssssssspell killssssss you."
Okeefe screamed.
**************
Sterben's Deszeld Lab was insane. Filled with bubbling cauldrons and strange contraptions of all design, it was the perfect stomping ground for SOM's resident mad scientist. Moltana very nearly died seven times just opening the door.
"Mister Sterben, sir? I have a toy for you..." the mage yelled.
"You're Tartaros' brat, aren't you? Tell him I don't want any more of his soul-stealing amulets. Mas science is only fun when it's directed at someone else."
"It's not from Tartaros. It's from Salfraslatar."
"Salfraslatar?" Sterben poked his head up from behind a pile of cursed books. "Isn't he a GOD spy?"
"I don't know anything about that, I'm new." Moltana replied. "All I know is he said you might want this trinket that used to belong to Silvestron."
"Silvestron? Well, why didn't you say so?" In a flash, Sterben had swiped the bag from Moltana and carried it to a workbench, dumping the contents unceremoniously.
"Hey now! I'm not cheap, you know!" Hornby James snapped.
"Huh. I heard rumours of a GOD weapon disguised as a toy train, but I always thought it was an Edward. Ah well. Still fun to investigate."
"I'll have you know I have unimaginable power and cannot be disabled by any means." Hornby James. "As long as I have power, I cannot be stopped."
"Well, that's a shame." Sterben snarked, taking out the batteries."
"Dang it."
"That's odd... model trains get their power from the tracks. Why do you have batteries? Maybe there's something nested up in here..."
"Yeah, I keep a spare condom there just in case, you know how it is." Hornby James said with a wink in Moltana's direction. Moltana died a little inside.
"No, really, there's some sort of secondary power source behind your face." Sterben said, pulling out a SOM Patent Double-Action Haskellium Jaguar-4300 Bifurcated Screwdriver. "Just let me."
"Hey, careful! You'll scratch up my face! I'll have you know-"
Suddenly, the screwdriver hit upon a hidden button in Hornby James' left eye. All at once, he changed. His eyes turned yellow, and a voice enimated from his frame.
"If you are hearing this prerecorded message, it means you have used a SOM Patent Double-Action Haskellium Jaguar-4300 Bifurcated Screwdriver to activate my sleeper mode. Lord Ainz Ooal Gown has already been notified."
"Well I'll be damned." Sterben muttered. "I owe him 20 goats."
"Why?" Moltana asked.
"He was bragging one day about having found a way to plant a bug on Silvestron. I said it couldn't be done, and he set up a wager."
"Indeed I did, so pay up." Said a booming voice from behind.
Out stepped an Elder Lich, robed in black, gold, and blue, and carrying a golden cane. It was the one the women called Daddy Ainz, the men called "Yes sir, of course sir, don't kill me sir", and the animals called "at least he doesn't draw it out like Keyes". The one, the only. Ainz Ooal Gown.
"I see you've found my little bug. Very good, Sterben, but I'll take it from here."
"Yes sir, of course sir, don't kill me sir," Sterben began, "but I have to ask... how?"
"It's quite a story, requiring a fair amount of exposition. Before I begin, perhaps we should dispose of Tartaros' wench."
"Please don't, Daddy Ainz." Moltana muttered, cringing slightly. "I can be useful to you."
"Yeah, she knows too much, and Tartaros would never forgive you for killing a perfectly good mook." Sterben chimed in.
"Very well. Then I will let both of you in on... Operation Pythagoras."
Sterben pulled out a bag of candies and handed them to Moltana. "Some people like to snack during stories."
"Thanks." Moltana said, popping one into her mouth.
"It was a very simple plan, really. The whole point was to destabilize VEC. So I hired a former VEC member by the name of Kendarboo Flickerbee."
There was a sudden gasp of shock. Moltana had suddenly grown about 7 cup sizes. "Eat another candy, it'll reverse the affect," Sterben said hurriedly.
Lord Ainz ignored all this. "Kendarboo already had a plan to overthrow VEC, so I offered him some help establishing his cult in exchange for him trading some corrupt prisms to the French Colorwomen. I knew they'd eventually end up in the hands of someone who would try to recreate Bachmann Edward, and I also knew someone who wanted to recreate Bachmann Edward would be someone who would go after Silvestron to try to "save" them."
"That plan leaves a lot to chance." Sterben observed, as Moltana freaked out about the cow horns she had sprouted.
"That's where the second bounty hunter came in. A disillusioned GOD member who could manipulate everything to make sure the pieces were all in play tonight. Now, we have a living record of the last year of Silvestron's life, which we can use in converting him to our cause."
Moltana was now shrinking out of her clothes.
"Diabolical. So now what will you do?" Sterben asked.
"Recombine the Prism Of Pain to find out exactly what Hornby James knows, and then pass that info on to the other Dragoons. You, meanwhile, need to fix the mook and then send her to Redfox to fill him in on our progress." Lord Ainz grabbed Hornby James and strutted off.
Sterben picked up tiny Moltana and set to work de-transforming her. "The Kinky Kandies seem to be a success."
Moltana was too distracted to be mad. She was really going up in the world! At this rate Metalicana would be bedding her tomorrow. She just had to be careful. The last thing she wanted to do was blow her one chance.
***************
Zemlya was not your ordinary SOM general.
For one thing, she was in her late teens, and was gravitating towards that life. Ever since she'd arrived at Deszeld, she'd locked herself into her cavernous, pitch-black room, purchased a set of "normal teen" clothes, and binge-watched some of the finest in Elbaf's bootleg "anime". The other Sons decided it was a phase.
Today, she was experimenting with a flower crown, crop top, and jeans. All black, of course. She was still evil. She sat on her hilariously oversized sofa, which had a back 80 feet high despite only fitting two people, munching popcorn and watching the end of "Growl's Flying Fortress".
She was interrupted by a knock on the door. "It's Bone Andrea. I have Silvestron."
Zemlya sighed, got up, and walked to the door. Who cares about this Silvestron guy? Just cast Spiked Tentacles Of Forced Intrusion and let Redfox deal with him.
But when she threw open the comically oversized door, she was not expecting to see someone so...
"Hi!" Percy Silver said innocently.
"Ah, Silvestron. I am Zemlya. Welcome to my Temple Of Eternal Despair."
"By the way, the zit cream you ordered is on the way." Bone Andrea reported.
"Damnit Bone Andrea, piss off before I kill you off. Silvestron and I have things to discuss." And Zemlya pulled him in, slamming the door behind her. Bone Andrea lingered for a moment, knowing she probably wouldn't appear again, before sighing and wandering off.
"Nice room." Percy Silver said cheerfully, looking around.
"I was just about to watch "Ghosted Off". Want to join me?" Zemlya asked. "I can make some more popcorn."
"Ooh, yes please!" Percy Silver said, bouncing on the comically oversized sofa.
Zemlya ran off with the bowl, turned down a comically oversized hallway, and freaked out. Silvestron was here! In her room! And he was such a... such a babe! She knew she had to play her cards carefully. A powerful and experienced dark mage like Silvestron probably had little interest in a wannabe villainess like her.
"Here's the DVD!" She exclaimed, returning eagerly. She plopped down on the sofa and turned on the Normal Sized, But Comically Undersized Considering The Rest Of The Room TV.
The movie was about an elf girl who gets trapped at a magical bathhouse and has to rescue her family and escape.
"I feel like I've seen this movie before, except it was Japanese and called "Spiri-""
"Shhhhhh!" Interrupted Zemlya. "3WSRisaworkoffictionanyresemblencetopersonsorstudioghiblifilmslivingordeadiscompletelycoincidental."
The two settled in on opposite ends of the couch and began snacking on popcorn.
"You know, apparently this film is based on the Elbafian sex industry. There's lots of symbolism, like when Tauriel gives up her name, which is what prostitutes-"
"What's sex?" Percy Silver asked.
"...you're Silvestron. How do you not know that?"
"I'm not Silvestron anymore, I'm Percy Silver. I'm a good guy."
GODDAMNIT. This was unexpected.
Zemlya was appalled, but she knew a little cuddling would win him over. She began using her powers to surreptitiously lower the temperature in the room. By about halfway through the film, Percy Silver was shivering.
"I'm getting cold. Wanna share a blanket?" She asked.
"Sure." Percy Silver replied, completely clueless.
Soon, the two were snuggled together. Zemlya's hand "accidentally" ended up in Percy's, and her head "just happened" to nuzzle up against his chest. Surprisingly, Percy Silver didn't object.
"You know, it's interesting." Zemlya said. "This movie is about a girl who falls in love with a boy who's secretly a dragon. In real life, it's boys who fall in love with dragon girls."
"Really?"
"Yeah. By the way, did I mention I'm part dragon?"
Percy Silver was amazed. "Maybe someone will fall in love with you!"
GODDAMNIT
Soon, the movie was over, but Zemlya had one last trick up her sleeve. A trick she'd gained from some trashy teen romance Raios had bought for her to convince her to come to the Extreme Bloodbath Gladiator Games.
"Wanna play truth or dare?"
"What's truth or dare?" Percy Silver asked.
GODDAMNIT
"It's quite simple. I ask you Truth or Dare. If you say Truth, you have to answer any question I ask you. If I say dare, you have to do whatever I tell you."
"Sure, sounds fun!"
"Alright, Silvestron, Truth Or Dare?"
"Um.... Truth!" Percy Silver decided.
"What do you think of me?" Zemlya asked.
Percy Silver thought. "You're pretty cool. You wear black a lot. You like cuddling, which is nice."
"Aww, thanks!"
"You're welcome!"
"Ok, your turn." Zemlya ordered after a pause.
"My turn for what?"
GODDAMNIT
"Now you ask me truth or dare."
"Oh! Ok. Truth or dare?"
"Dare." Zemlya smirked.
Percy Silver was terrified. Zemlya was a fun new friend, but this game had too much thinking. But Zemlya liked thinking, and Percy wanted Zemlya to like him, even though she had questionable views on morality and called him "Silvestron".
"Surprise me." He decided after a while.
"Ooh, that's a tough one." Zemlya smirked. "I'll have to think about it."
Oh no! Now his new friend had to think too! Percy Silver tried to think up an apology, but then she was kissing him, and he was kissing back, and he decided it was best to just stop thinking for a while.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Nov 9, 2017 13:23:45 GMT -5
Too bad for Zemlya, Percy Silver was an incompetent moron who was only good at formulating convoluted plans... you didn't think we forgot, did you? (Writer winks)
And now, the foreshadow to the soft reboot: ......
Around this time, Man In Bright Turquoise was in his dimension, and he had enough of Id.
"I told you before! I don't need you anymore! I deal with threats to earth that make SOM, VEC, GOD and all the others seem like a bunch of kittens! There are things in this world, nay, universe that not even they could comprehend. I've spent days dealing with the cracks and I'm still not done finishing them. Now be gone! You are not needed and a waste of my time" he declared. And Id disappeared... this time, forever.
"What a waste of an astral projection... hold on..." BT said; suddenly he was horrified with what he saw. "Teacher! Teacher! I need you!" He called into the plane. Then the being manifested. "Is there a problem, Winston?" Teacher asked.
"The cracks... they're forming faster than they can be repaired. Almost as if... the universe is... destabilizing" BT said. To teacher's horror, his student was right. "Those damn Cubii and their dimension hopping... they should have been imprisoned in tesseracts from the get go, but no, "give them a chance" Marvelous said... look what happened!" Teacher fumed.
"Can't cubii close the cracks behind them or something?" BT asked, confused (and acknowledging a Toz post)
"If they can... they're doing a poor job of it. Plus who else can it be? You and I always lose the cracks we cause, That Bronze Mage fellow's cracks you always deal with... so who else can you think of that regularly cross dimensions that aren't cubii?" Teacher pointed out
"Noted. But we should look into this further before jumping to conclusions, I think. So what do we do now?" BT asked.
"Stabilize the cracks for now. I will isolate this dimension from the others to buy us time, then I will help you" Teacher assured.
"It's a good thing Prism magic is the most efficient, safest magic to use for stabilizing and sealing dimensional cracks; otherwise we'd never have a fighting chance" BT noted.
"Yes; my magic may be different, but it is comparable, at least. I shall return" Teacher assured before disappearing.
......
"Hey?! Why can't we dimension hop anymore?" Some cubii said, realizing their dimension hoping abilities weren't working
......
Lightly scattered Throughout Dezled City, as well as in other locations, small white cracks, no bigger than pencils began to form. Overcome with curiosity, the occasional nameless grunt touched them... only to disappear into oblivion. But we're not interested in this, so let's cut to...
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Post by Toz76 on Nov 11, 2017 1:08:55 GMT -5
First of all...
Bright Turquoise set out to repair the cracks, when suddenly Superego appeared. "Wait! We shouldn't interfere!"
"Why the hell not?" Bright Turquoise asked.
"Be logical about it. The writers wouldn't create a problem that couldn't be fixed, and they wouldn't need a deus ex machina like you to do so. This is the way things are meant to go, why should we interfere?"
BT tried to object, but he couldn't think of a valid argument. "What should I do instead?"
"When's the last time we had some "me time"? Ego asked, materializing next to Superego. "You should get some sleep."
"Not a bad idea." BT conceded, conjuring a bed, stripping, and tucking himself in.
Id manifested next to him.
"Damnit, I already killed you twice."
"And how's that working out for you? I'm the part of your personality that drives you to act in the first place. Yes, I can go too far sometimes, which is why Superego exists to keep me in check, but never forget, I exist to keep him in check too. Without me, you'll never act again."
"So I should do something about the cracks?"
"Are you kidding? Of course you should. But you've just killed me off "for real this time", so the part of my mind I represent is staying dormant until you accept that you need me. This is what you get for subscribing to the outdated philosophy of a nutjob who's own Wikipedia page subtly roasts him." In a quieter voice, Id added, "I may push you too far sometimes, but I am part of you, and I do care about you."
BT was about to point out that this bore no resemblance to Freud's actual concept of the Id, Ego, and Superego, but all three Astral projections had already vanished.
********
Bronze Mage, Priori, Vivian Bloodsphere, Vengeance Bringer, Chaos, and Hivemind (currently in the body of a thirty-year-old woman) were gathered in a barn on the edges of the still-unnamed city that had sprung up around Diablo Tower.
"Vhy are we here?" Priori asked. "There is nothing here vhich would interest us."
"I dunno, to be honest." BM admitted, digging his heel into the dirt in embarrassment. "Toz called me at two a.m. a couple of weeks ago and drunkenly told me we needed to be in this barn at this time for plot reasons. At least I hope he was just drunk."
"Should we be worried about Toz portraying himself as an unstable alcoholic?" Chaos asked.
"He's probably just pulling a Pastis." Vengeance Bringer replied, before realizing that nobody reads comic strips anymore and that reference went over everybody's head.
"Forget that. Toz called you? What's his number?" Vivian asked excitedly.
"Oh, that's easy, it's-"
"Hello, my old friends." Said an ominous voice.
Everyone except Vengeance Bringer gasped as a fat, bald man in a yellow trench coat entered the room.
"I'm sorry, am I supposed to know who you are?" Vengeance Bringer snapped her fingers. "Wait, you're Cocopuff, aren't you? From that thing Toz keeps not working on? Been a while since 3WSR referenced you, isn't it?"
"No, I'm... how the hell did you even know about that?"
"Honeybadger! How dare you return here after what you did! Killing Dr Laser and The Salamander."
"Actually, that wasn't me. I'm only here for an emotional gut punch. This guy did most of the killing."
A thinner, younger figure emerged from the shadows. His face was burned and scarred and he wore an eyepatch, but there was no mistaking that golden robe.
"Thomas Gold! But..."
"Bronze Mage. Thought I was rotting in a cell somewhere? Please. 3WSR never wastes a Chekov's gun. I'm with GOD now."
"Who is this?" Vivian whispered to Priori, who replied with a shrug.
"What do you want with us?" Bronze Mage asked. "I warn you, you're outnumbered."
"I'm a honey mage. You wouldn't last a second against me." Honeybadger shot back. "Besides, we're here to talk."
"I have nothing to say to you, fatass."
"Then I'll do the talking, you lousy excuse for a dad." Thomas Gold shot back. "According to our source in SOM, my adoptive brother, whom you also abandoned, has been captured by SOM, along with Woman In Orange. GOD has decided to offer our help rescuing them, and by that I mean give you five alignment scramblers and teleport you to the gates of Deszeld."
"But there's six of us." Hivemind pointed out.
"Vengeance Bringer will stay behind." Bronze Mage decided, realizing that he couldn't get out of this one. "No offense, but you're easily the least useful out of all of us."
"And no offense to you, Bronze Mage," Vengeance Bringer replied, "but hell no. I know you've probably forgotten since I haven't mattered in forever, but Woman In Orange is my daughter."
"I'll stay behind." Vivian Bloodsphere said diplomatically. "I'll be able to arrange a backup squad if need be."
"Are you sure this is wise?" Interjected Thomas Gold. "We were hoping for people who didn't have an especially strong emotional stake in this. That's why JABS isn't here. Well, that and because Suleiman is busy being your puppet ruler. And also because they've been somewhat overexposed compared to other VECites."
"Unwise is putting two characters with long names that are annoying to type out that both have the initials "V.B." in the same scene." Vengeance Bringer replied. "When you have kids of your own, you'll understand."
"Like you know anything about it! You abandoned your daughter to the clutches of a hoard of French Colorwomen! She literally died! The only worse parent here is him!" Thomas Gold snapped, pointing at Bronze Mage.
"How did you know about that?"
"Our SOM informant said it was all part of Lord Ainz' convoluted plan." Honeybadger interjected, showing a rare shred of human decency. "Anyway, the five of you that are going, grab your alignment scramblers."
BM, Priori, Vengeance Bringer, Chaos, and Hivemind stepped forward and took them. As soon as they were secured on their wrists, they were swept to a tactical position behind a ledge, with the walls of Deszeld rising up behind them.
"So, who ees thees "child" of yours?" Priori asked.
"Your accent is back." BM replied, evading the question.
"Is he your actual kid or adopted?" Chaos interjected.
"Adopted. Him and Percy Silver both fit the criteria for Silvestron. I eventually abandoned him in prison because... well, because Percy Silver showed more promise."
The others looked incredulous.
"Percy Silver showed more promise?" Hivemind asked, incredulous.
"Who?" Vengeance Bringer asked, confused.
"But we just saw Thomas Gold, and he was, like, serious and edgy and competent!" Chaos sputtered.
"I know." BM sighed. "If he's gotten that powerful, I shudder to think what Percy Silver has become..."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Nov 11, 2017 2:18:40 GMT -5
Eventually, BT decided that he wasn't going to put up with his projections anymore; he had matured at the end of the tournament, grown to accept that his role was to deal with the threats to the universe others could not comprehend; he did not need any of the three any more, he could make his own decisions. And right now... it was Teacher that needed him to stabilize the cracks.
"Screw Freud! That guy was sexist anyway" BT said as he worked on stabilizing the cracks... after all, the soft reboot couldn't happen just yet now, and Tug probably has no plans on the Vados BT thing, so we gotta keep him busy somehow.
......
With no one interested in that subplot, the Public discussion was ended; in the end, it was concluded that although the Colormen were justified in defending Sodor from the Orcs after they declared war, and that the orcs' were partly to blame for stubbornly refusing to accept peace multiple times, it was agreed that pushing the Orcs out of Sodor went a step too far, and the Colormen condemned the outcome of the first orc war.
The Man In Blue of the first Orc War gave a small statement as well, "We did what we had to do to defend Sodor, and despite their stubborn refusals... we do regret this is how the Orc War turned out, and wish that things turned out differently."
Everyone moved on, now that the writers were interested in Dezled and some upcoming wedding.
......
With everything quiet, Man In Blue and Woman In Blue decided they needed some much needed quality time, and went on vacation together. But that's not something we'll find interesting, so while they are off doing their thing, let's do something interesting with the Colormen.
......
The current Man In Bronze was talking to the Spirit, for now it was time to correct a long standing problem.
"I do not understand... when I contacted the staff, it should have recognized me as its true owner. Why did it do that?"
"...because that was not the true staff. When the Bronze Mage lost his powers, I took away his artifact. But he was able to recreate a false staff that worked just as well through means that cannot be discussed because VEC Origins has not been published yet. But The time has come. It is time for you to recover the true staff of your lineage, and redeem the line that the first Man In Bronze once wanted to destroy."
"What must I do?" Man In Bronze asked.
"You will be sent into the Realm of Reflection. There, you shall be cut off from all outside interference, but you will also only have limited access to your Prism Magic. If you can pass the trials, and prove the strength of your character, the true staff shall be restored, and you will reclaim your artifact."
"How do I get there?" Man In Bronze asked.
"Step into that mirror over there" The Prism indicated, which had manifested within the room.
"Thank you, wise spirit" And the Man In Bronze disappeared into this realm. The first of three trials awaited.
......
Man In Black had long been haunted by his actions. Though he had been purified, his guilt remained. Despite being welcomed by Man In Blue, he felt that he hadn't fully redeemed himself, and the time was long overdue for him to do some soul searching.
That night, he had packed a suitcase, and proceeded to leave the Great Hall.
"Where will you be going?" Man In Orange asked.
"I did a lot of wrong in the past... its time for me to own up to it. I need to find... inner peace, I think some would call it. I am grateful that the prism purified the evil from me... but it is not enough. Now, I must take care of things not even the spirit can resolve" Man In Black said, before walking out of the Great Hall, and beginning his journey. He didn't know where he would end up, but he was sure that it was the only way to go about his situation.
Meanwhile...
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Post by Toz76 on Nov 11, 2017 2:50:04 GMT -5
Man In Silver was taking his kids to a football game. After spending nearly a year in space and some messed-up tournament, he was spending some much-needed time with his loved ones.
Woman In Gold, too, was spending time with her loved ones. She had taken her girlfriend out to a fancy dinner and was telling her about space, all the while fingering the engagement ring in her pocket.
After their wedding, which was briefly mentioned in Go Fark Yourself, Man In Gold and Woman In Silver were honeymooning in the Bahamas.
This left Man In White, Woman In White, Man In Pink, Woman In Pink, Man In Steel, and Woman In Purple as the most significant Colorfolk in the great hall when Fark Devonshire showed up, slightly drunk and in a terrible mood.
"Damnit, no Man In Blue? If you're going to force me into this arc against my will, you can at least give me someone to play off of."
"What do you want, motherfarker?" Man In Pink asked.
"Well, one-dimensional hothead archetype, it's quite simple. I need five colorfolk to go to Deszeld to rescue Percy Silver and Woman In Orange. I have five alignment scramblers here for you. Go nuts. I don't care, f**k this, I was going to spend some time with Hoshi tonight but no, I gotta come be the Mission Commander and give you your quest for the evening."
"I'm not one-dimensional!" Man In Pink complained.
"Don't kid yourself. Toz realized your early characterization was too "tokenism", so he overcompensated and hasn't bothered to give you the screen time to develop yourself. Until now, if he can fit it in, maybe."
"Hang on, there's six of us and only five alignment scramblers." Woman In Purple pointed out.
"Quite right. Man In Steel is staying right here."
"What!? Why?"
"I need colorfolk, not war criminals." Fark snapped. "I haven't forgotten what you did to those pilots. The Whites, Pinks, and Woman In Purple can handle it. Don't worry, Tug will find a way to cram you in anyway, I'm sure. Screw this arc, I could have been getting laid but now I've gone and gotten pissed off. Have a fun rescue mission, I hope you choke on it, like a peni-"
"Don't finish that sentence, please. We were just leaving." Woman In White interjected, snapping on her alignment scrambler. The five colorfolk dematerialized and appeared next to those five VEC members from my last post.
"At least we aren't the only ones GOD roped in." Bronze Mage observed. Woman In Pink glared at Vengeance Bringer, and the former colorwoman glared back. Then, the ten sat in a circle and began to discuss strategy, trying to ignore the obvious tension in the group.
Back at the great hall, Man In Steel and Fark remained, glaring at each other.
"Get out of my great hall." Man In Steel ordered.
"Go to hell." Fark replied.
"I'm going to get the Red Warriors to throw you out," Man In Steel replied, standing to leave.
As soon as his back was to Fark, the GOD member pulled a gun and shot him five times in the back and three times in the back of the head.
"Don't worry, the writers like you too much, you'll live." Fark said. "But I'm not going to rest until you've been filled with a bullet for every man, woman, and enby you killed that day over Elbaf."
And with that, he vanished.
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Post by Tug on Nov 11, 2017 18:21:45 GMT -5
Steel, getting up with the bullets falling out of his torso due to ice filling up the holes and pushing them out, took a deep breath and sighed, "Calm down Hikos, he's just trying to get you to respond, be the bigger man, you're not who you once were, the path he's trying to get me to go down, is a path my line is always threatened with... I think it's time I go see Adrianna again..."
.....
Speaking of the Gypsy, Team JABS, Balor, and BA, who had come to check on them after they were presumed dead and sent Chaos (Who was originally with them Toz *cough cough*) back to inform the Bronze Mage, were waiting outside the cart while Suleiman talked to Adrianna
"Back in the prison, when I met all of you, I never expected al lot you, well most of you (Looking directly at Barry), to be such help for VEC, I don't know the path this organization is destined for, for even I am in the dark for a few aspects, but I thank you all for your services so far..." commended BA
"Hey!" shouted Barry as Jeet hit him on the back of the head to shut him up...
"And you Blood Alchemist, if fate had not allowed you to be captured by SOM on that fateful day we all would still be rooting in prison cells for another century or two..." bowed Abdul in respect
"VEC is the savior of my homeland, it saved my countrymen in it's time of need, there's no greater service I can give to you beside my service..." replied Balor
"Well, let's wait for our 'Prince' and then head home, eh?" responded BA with a chuckle...
Inside, well, Suleiman was... Well, he wasn't crashing and burning, but he still wasn't doing so hot...
"Adrianna, it's the only thing I could do! I worked directly under him at the time, I knew what he was going t throw at me for a betrayal!"
"So, you buried your most useful gear in some hidden spot, sent the troupe to basically kidnap me so I wouldn't interfere, and fought hordes of ghostly soldiers under equipped to 'protect me'? Did you even think you would make it out of alive!"
"NO I DIDN'T! I DID NOT SEE MYSELF MAKING IT OUT OF THERE, OKAY! They call me the Betrayer, you know why, because I'm the first ever person to turn his back on the 'Dragon King' after working for him! Only one other has done it and he was a mook! I was a highly respected officer, working under his Son as well! Leaving his service, not fulfilling my duty, is the gravest sin you can commit in his face, especially towards his family! If I hadn't faced them by myself, I knew they would slaughter the entire troupe without a second thought to prove a point! I may not know exactly why they kept me alive, but it was a fluke at best, it was never going to happen to anyone else!"
"Do you know what my last image of you was? I was a fiery battlefield of armored foes striking you again and again as I struggled to run off and aid you, with the Chief restraining me as you had wished. We fled to Northern Europe since we knew SOM refused to come anywhere they knew Colormen lurked. Years passed, my closest friends and family died while I stayed young because of that liquid you gave me. With you dead, I had nothing left, I sought help by raising a descendant of my close friend who has developed this 'curse' that allowed me to meet you... I ran away to America where I met the Colorman's Father who tasked me with leading him on the right path, I path I no longer deserve to be the guide for after seeing you in the state you are now... I want to run towards you, I have always held that love that binds us... But what you stand for now, I... I just can't... Until you find the path that you're meant to undertake, then we can't be together since it seems the fate that brought us together has split us once again..."
"Adrianna, I do know my path!"
"What is it then?"
"I.. I... I... ARGH!"
"Sule!"
"His Path... His path has always been intertwined with mine girl!"
"You're not Suleiman... Who are you, monster!"
"Monster? Please, use my formal title, Demon, for I am the Demon Emperor, Iblis, pleasure to finally meet the woman he cares so much for... You should be able to see it, can't you? His future? He is no longer the Janissary Soldier I met so long ago, no, he is the vessel holding my form while I plot for my eventual return... he himself does not know, yes, but he is the biggest player in deciding the fate of this plane... And you, his queen, are tied into it as well, though which side the jury is still out on... Miss, Adrianna, was it? Enjoy the time you have with him currently, for my hour is approaching, and once it's arrived his soul is forfeit. So heed my warning, value your time with him wisely, for my ascension will absorb him completely. For the time of the final pieces of my plan are coming into play, so my centuries of waiting will finally pay off. So get everything off your chest now girl, because I'm thinking this might be your last time to talk to him before it al goes down... ARGH!"
"SULEIMAN!
"ARGH... MY HEAD! Wha, what's going on?"
"Sule... It's... Never mind, I just have one final thing to tell you, wait, no, two!"
"What?"
"It seems someone tied to that Bronze Mage and a Colorwoman girl were captured by SOM, and the two groups are going to that new city SOM controls to get them back!"
"What! Are they stupid? Knowing SOM as well as I do, no matter whether they sneak in through a sideway are straight through the front gate they'll be playing into SOM's hand the whole time!"
"So what are you going to do then?"
"I'll take my team, no wait, we're too recognizable, even just me would be a red flag, but I know SOM the best out of everyone in VEC... Alright, I have to make a plan with them outside... Wait, what was the last thing you wanted to tell me?"
"Just one thing Sule... Though we're on different paths now, I just want to tell you, I forgive you... I know what you did you thought was good, but it hurt me... But with 100 years to reflect on that decision... I forgive you..."
"Thank you Adrianna, your words are what I needed to hear... I will find the path I need..."
Suleiman slammed the door as he went to discuss with his comrades...
"Knowing what I know now, I fear what this path may be..."
.....
"My friends, welcome to Deszeld City! The ballad is just about to begin..." said a horn playing Elf to his band as they stared at the city, prepping for what stop come...
.....
"So Bronze left without me, that bastard!" shouted BA
"HA!" laughed Barry as Sule hit him this time
"Ow~!"
"So what's the plan then Sule?" asked Jeet
"Well, Balor, no offense, but you're a walking target as well as your grudge with Dolor is bad, so please return back. And you three, I want you to return as well..." asked Sule
"Why Sule?" asked Abdul
"Jeet has beef with Sa'luk, Adbul you're wanted for murdering many a grunt in SOM, and Barry, Stein just does not like you..."
"Heh.. I wonder why..." worryingly rubbed Barry
"So just you and the Blood Alchemist is going, that seems very... Unfavorable Suleiman..." added Balor
"Well, I better use this then... Jinn, get out here, I have a wish to make..." groaned Suleiman
"You called?" asked Jinn, who appeared as smoke from Suleiman's coat, currently in bikini wear, sunglasses, and a coconut with a straw inside in one hand...
"Send those four, Barry, Jeet, Abdul, and Balor, back to Diablo Tower, and bring back in their place, Silent Night, Eddie Denim, Lock-On John, Steve the Ripper, Doctor Laser, oh wait he's dead, never mind him, then and also Miraj..." wished Suleiman
"Alrighty then! Wish #2 is done!" giggled Jinn as a puff of smoke disappeared the VECites and five new ones appeared in their place...
Silent Night had been training, Eddie had been practicing his music, John had been drinking, Steve had been in the shower, and Miraj had been doing paperwork...
"Hey, where am I?"
My acoustics!"
"Oh, I guess my break is over..."
"Ah... Could someone get me some pants?"
"Oh yes! A way out of actual work!"
"Wow Suleiman, what a great team you've assembled... And can someone get Mr. The Ripper some pants!"
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Post by Toz76 on Nov 12, 2017 0:25:19 GMT -5
There are two kinds of harpies. The first kind are the classical harpies. More bird than human, with a beak and claws, they are not to be trifled with. They are also extremely ugly.
In the mid-1500s, a sorceress was mad at the harpies that kept invading her squash garden, so she cursed them with "extreeme ugleenessee and rage."
Naturally, this just made the cursed harpies fit human heteronormative standards of beauty, so they didn't mind too much.
In the next five hundred years, Cursed Harpies gaimed magic power and became masters of their craft, while Classical harpies basically remained sentient crows. But most people would rather see a classical harpy over a cursed one. You see, good looks and power has given the cursed harpies a bit of a complex. Most of them have become arrogant and elitist. The classical harpies, meanwhile, have a friendly, personable demeanor, and their ability to run businessess while SOM members are on duty has made them the backbone of Deszeld's economy. I guess the moral of the story here is that personality is more important than looks- JUST SAYIN', LADIES!
Anyway, "Okeefe" eventually made her way to a central pavilion, where many SOM mooks had gathered for lunch.
"Excuse me, but do any of you know about... the GOD?" she asked a group of eastern mages.
One of the mages put his sandwich down. "You mean the faction that snakeman is spying for?"
Woman In Orange/Okeefe facepalmed. This was going to be harder than she thought.
********
Redfox, Moltana, and Lord Ainz were clustered around the Prism Of Pain, looking over a years worth of observations of Percy Silver.
"God, this guy is so dumb and incompetent it's almost miraculous." Redfox muttered, burying his head in his hand.
Suddenly, Salfraslatar slithered in.
"Redfox, sir! Scouts have spotted a joint colorfolk-VEC team outside the walls. Permission to deal with them personally?"
"Eh, whatever, permission granted." Redfox said, surreptitiously texting Monet to "make sure the Snakeman doesn't f**k this up."
*********
Salfraslatar slithered out of the front gates of Deszeld with what passed for a grin on his snake face.
"Now, to reveal my true power..." Salfraslatar waved his arm, and a large curved wall made of orange light appeared before him. Several more walls of light stuck straight out if it like a comb. Salfraslatar stepped forward, and the barriers moved with him. Where the edges of a wall of light touched something, they cut through it like it was nothing.
BM saw this all from his vantage point and freaked. "The snake guy is a Barrier Mage! Run!"
"What's a Barrier Mage?" Woman In White asked.
"No time for exposition! Run!!" And the ten turned tail and fled. If Toz was willing to skip complex exposition about something, it must be serious.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Nov 19, 2017 0:17:08 GMT -5
It was night. The GOD envoy carrying Fark, Thomas Gold, Nifsara, and Quinn had arrived at the Deszeld harbor.
"Oi! Who goes there?" called out one of the patrol-men.
"This is Fark Devonshire of the Guild Of Death. We have a arrived on very important business."
"Right, we've been expecting you."
They docked the envoy and the GOD members got out, to be lead to where their meeting would take place.
What no one knew, however, was that GOD and the PIC had decided to join forces in working towards similar goals, and the PIC had dispatched some of its finest members to hide in the GOD vessel and then slip out while no one was watching.
These people were leaders of one of the PIC's crown jewels. It was a subdivision like no other. Created for stealth and able to hit the enemy with sneak attacks that would never have been expected, they were a silent and mysterious force to be reckoned with.
The PIC members slipped out into the city of Deszeld.
The Ghost Division was on the prowl.
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Post by Tug on Nov 21, 2017 0:35:12 GMT -5
Anyway, Lieutenant Najenda was leading a group of Incursio Soldiers to be the GOD Diplomats to Castle Eldrid...
"It is surprising you sent such an idea as a Nonaggression Pact between SOM and GOD... Raios didn't expect it to be expected by our King, and because of that we will be your escorts to the Meeting Hall..." spoke Najenda
"Yes it was quite a surprise on our end as well, but both our factions despise VEC and the Colorfolk, so even though our ideas don't line up, we thought such an accord would prevent any future ill will to make sure you wouldn't interfere with our own plans..." answered Fark
"You are quite right, also Mr, Devonshire, my commander, Raios, has one thing to tell you..."
"And that is?"
"We know your game GOD, if you're trying another one of your tricks, one of you, if not all of you, will not be leaving this city alive..."
.....
Suleiman's group, now ready (Steve finally got a pair of pants), began to depart towards Deszeld City...
"Alright, if we leave now, we could make it to the city's outskirts in a couple of hours..." spoke Suleiman as he led the group's hike
"Or we could just fast travel our way there with a scene transition..." replied BA
"A what?"
"See, watch this cutaway, when it comes back to our group, I guarantee we'll be at the city then..."
Meanwhile, at the Deszeld Front Gate...
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