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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 2, 2023 19:48:23 GMT -5
In this game, we are all in a Mexican standoff type situation. When you go, you try to give yourself an advantage that you think will win you the stand-off. However, the next person introduces an element that either negates the prior development, cancels it out, or “evens out” the situation.
in keeping with the theme, your post should begin with any of the following:
”not so fast…”
”nice try, but…”
”guess again, I’ve…”
”that’s what you think, but…”
”oh, you mean the *element* that…”
etc.
an example to give an idea of how this works:
”Well, looks like a Mexican standoff”
”That’s what you think, I’ve got a drone aiming right at you”
”nice try, but I’ve got a pack of dogs ready to attack you”
”oh, you mean the dogs I’m about to distract with my buddy who has 20 pounds of steaks?”
and so on. Only rules: no massive disruptions like nuclear bombs or eldritch gods; that’s no fun. Now, let’s get started:
………
A, B, C and D are all standing, duel wielding pistols drawn at each other
”well well well, looks like a Mexican standoff” A states with a grin
”that’s what you think; I’ve got a crane with a 16 ton weight in position right on top of you!” B declared
*A notices she’s covered with a big shadow
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 2, 2023 20:06:06 GMT -5
But A just laughs. "Nice try, but I have a really big umbrella!"
A opens the umbella, and the weight bounces off of it harmlessly. A then lowers the umbrella, creating a shield that can block the bullets of her opponents.
"Now I'm unkillable!"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 2, 2023 20:12:31 GMT -5
“Ah, but can it protect you from these *letters to Santa*?!” C says with a grin
A suddenly realizes she’s slowly being covered in a massive pile of paper letters and post cards
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 2, 2023 20:23:57 GMT -5
"Not so fast!" D declared, delirously. "Don't dare defeat me, for I've designed a dastardly, devious alliteration device! If you deviate from using your designated letter to begin most of... da words in da sentence, you'll die!"
"You cretin!" C croaked. "Can't you C how cruel your creation can be?"
"But..." B began, "that's so bloody baffling and burdensome!"
"Actually," A attempted to articulate from among the avalanche of envelopes, "an artful and able academic can adeptly attempt to... uh, ah, crap, I can't ascertain an adequate avenue of avoidance."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 3, 2023 18:40:26 GMT -5
Just then, D's device began smoking and sparking, and D dropped it in terror as it essentially began exploding in his hand
"Gah! Dang it, knew I shouldn't have gotten the parts off of Craigslist" D muttered.
"Ah, but now the advantage is mine!" A declared in excitement, "For you see, I've got a guy with a crossbow aiming right at... you!" A said to D, allowing him to use his pistols to aim at B and C
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 4, 2023 4:14:25 GMT -5
"Oh yeah? Well I've got a guy with a crossbow aimed at your guy with a crossbow!" D said.
"Oh yeah? Well I've got a second guy with a crossbow aimed at your guy with a crossbow!" A replied
"Oh yeah? Well I've got a second guy aimed at your second guy!" D replied
"Oh yeah? Well I order my first guy to aim at your second guy!" A replied
"Um, guys?" B said, concerned. "Did you just create a second mexican standoff inside the mexican standoff?"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 4, 2023 11:04:43 GMT -5
Before anyone could answer, the 4 crossbows fired. A’s first guy hit D’s second guy, A’s second guy hit D’s first guy D’s first guy, D’s first guy hit A’s first guy and D’s second guy hit A’s second guy (man, I spent 20 minutes trying to make sure I wasn’t misreading that  ) “Huh, I guess that was a Mexican Standoff after all” D realized A took advantage of the confusion to pick up the umbrella again and tried to think of the next move before C declared, “fools! While you were so busy with your lackeys I finally figured out a way to knock poor little D out for good. For I know your weakness!” C declared before whistling to a guy in the distance and suddenly… 14 cats walked into the area. “You’re going down!” C declared “But… how? Are they going to attack me or something?” D asked, raising an eyebrow “No… your allergy. Any second now…” C said “Uh… I’m not allergic to cats” D explained “What? Then who…” C said, but was cut off B was now sneezing nonstop, tears were forming in his eyes, and his cheeks were swelling a little |
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 4, 2023 16:50:49 GMT -5
But suddenly, B started laughing. "You fools! Nice try, but I prepared for this outcome! Behold, my ANTIHISTAMINES!"
B popped some pills into his mouth and washed them down with water. The swelling did not stop.
"Uh..." A asked, underwhelmed.
"They take a few minutes to kick in." B explained.
There was an awkward silence
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 6, 2023 7:15:41 GMT -5
B finally returned to normal as C began laughing, “Idiots! While you were all distracted I set my plan in motion… would anyone care for a brownie?” B said as his lackey came in to offer
“Nah, had a big breakfast” B said
“Not a fan of chocolate” D said
“Ok, whatever” A said as she picked one up and took a bite. Suddenly A’s pupil’s went wide, she had a big, stupid grin on her face, and she just looked completely out of it
“The recipe? Oh, you know, flour, sugar, eggs… and CANNABIS!” C said with a grin
“I’m… im pretty sure cannabis doesn’t work like that” B said
“Oh, this is Comedy cannabis, works differently compared to Sativa” C explained
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 6, 2023 17:33:15 GMT -5
But A just laughed. "You fools!" She said. "Nice try, but I hit a fat bunt before this standoff and I'm already high as balls! This edible ain't shit! I am still gonna lie down, though, but it's not because I'm dangerously high and worried I'm going to green out."
B, C, and D stared as A lay down on the ground, smiling, still pointing both her guns at her foes.
"Wait, now what?" B asked. "She said 'nice try, but', but she didn't do anything."
"I guess one of us goes?" D suggests.
At the same time, B and C began to speak in unison.
"Not so fas- oh, I'm sorry, you go. No, you go. No, no, I insist."
Suddenly, D laughed. "You fools! You have jinxed each other! Now you cannot speak! Which means you can't present any new twists, and I win the standoff! Mwahahahahaha!"
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Post by Eyes on Mar 6, 2023 22:16:01 GMT -5
Suddenly a shot rang out. Pandemonium ensued as A, B, and C all fired in unison - but missed each other completely as C and B joined A with a thud on the floor. The only person struck was D, but the bullet had gone through his head at an angle that couldn't have originated with the others' bullets. D crumpled onto the ground, dead, as out of the shadows strode a figure in white, with a red hot pair of pistols aimed directly at the three.
"Not so fast!" said the figure. "D has lost the game" (just like the readers) "and if you guys hadn't been such terrible shooters, you would have too!" (You just lost the game again btw.)
"Who are you?" demanded the now trio of remnants of the standoff.
The figure smirked. "They call me... E."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 6, 2023 22:30:49 GMT -5
A pretty much sobered up in an instant with the shock of everything as B and C also rose up and the four had their guns drawn
“Not so fast!” A voice declared, and everyone looked over to see… D, alive!
“What?! But how?!” E said in total shock.
“Surprised? It’s quite simple, really. You see, your bullet traveled through the right side of my skull. But, when I was 4 years old I had a hemispherectomy and my entire right brain was removed; but I was young enough that my remaining brain matter was able to develop all the functions I needed to survive. So you see, what you thought was my brain, is merely empty space” D finished
E’s jaw dropped at that revelation
“Is… is that even a thing?” C asked in confusion
“Surprisingly yes; it’s very rare but it does happen” B pointed out.
Now, there were five in the stand-off. And it was C’s turn to act “let’s see how brave you are after I introduce my little friend” he grinned
And then, at that moment… a mime entered the area and began doing its act.
E and D raised an eyebrow, while B began trembling in terror, “that is so disturbing… how is it doing that?! A rope?! It’s holding a rope?!” Then the mime began gesturing in such a way like it was putting a box up around B
“No! No! No! Please! Anything but this! Don’t put me in a box!” He screamed, as he crumpled to the floor in the fetal position, in terror
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 7, 2023 2:52:03 GMT -5
"Oh, you mean this box?" E asked.
E had somehow stolen the box from B and was using it as a shield to deflect bullets.
"But... it's not a real box..." D said.
"Come on, D, use your half-a-brain. It's real enough to scare B, so it's real enough to block bullets."
"Oh yeah? How confident are you feeling in that assessment?" D asked, cocking his pistol.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 7, 2023 16:11:55 GMT -5
(and now, our special guest star)
The fired bullet missed E by a few millimeters and hit the wall a bit behind him. That was when it hit E like a ton of bricks that B wasn’t freaking out about being stuck in a box, B was freaking out because B was absolutely terrified of mimes.
So, while B was cowering for the Time being, C made a move.
“Behold my friend… Toz60!” C gestured, as someone walked in, looking like an unusually sexualized character from a popular series from 10 years ago.
A, B and D all raised an eyebrow and looked in confusion, and then the one called “Toz60” said something… that we can’t necessarily repeat here… to E, prompting E to go red in embarrassment and hide his face.
”Impossible!! How did you find out about…about…. Her?!” He said, going beat red in embarrassment.
”Perhaps I should tell you Toz60’s full name… Teen Cringe Incarnate!”
A dramatic music sting came out of nowhere as E continued hiding his face in shame and…
”wait wait wait” a voice interrupted. It was C’s lackey who released the cats earlier. “I’m sorry but just the letters is super confusing… and I think A literally swapped genders after a few scenes. Can we have like, names and basic descriptions please?” The lackey asked, standing in front of a chalkboard with other lackeys from everyone present, trying to keep track of everything
”Ugh, fine” C said, as critical, but helpful, exposition happened:
”I’m Ava” A said; a woman with short, dark hair, in a Gray overcoat
”I’m Barnes” B said, a bald man with a scar down the back of his head, in a brown overcoat
”I’m Calvin” C said, a bearded man with a eyepatch over the left eye, in a navy blue overcoat
”I’m Duncan” D said, a muscular Irishman in a Forest green overcoat
”I’m Everett” E said, a stone-faced man with 5:00 shadow in a crimson red overcoat
”and I…” a voice said from the roof, as a woman with long blonde hair in a Royal blue overcoat with a sniper rifle, different from everyone else’s dual pistols, suddenly appeared, “am Fiona”
”What’s with the overcoats?” One lackey said
”I think they’re all spies from different organizations and…” a second began
”no one cares about any of this background crap! Just get back to the stand-off!!!” A third declared
”ugh, fine, where were we?” Fiona asked
”actually can you wait like 3 turns? We’re still on the Teen cringe thing” Calvin said
”oh, sorry” Fiona said as she “disappeared” for now
so, the focus went back to Everett and his embarrassment over his teen cringe being made public
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 7, 2023 17:11:31 GMT -5
"Not so fast!" Everett said. "I may have teen cringe, but so do all of you! Isn't that right... Barnes?"
Barnes laughed. "Guess again! I was in Youth Bible Fellowship in high school! I wasn't posting cringe, because I was too busy spreading the good word and going on missionary trips!"
"Oh, so you were a teenage bible thumper? What could be more cringe than that?" Everett laughed as Toz60 turned her attention towards Barnes.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 7, 2023 19:29:57 GMT -5
“Wait a minute! I hired you to embarrass Everett, remember?” Calvin pointed out
“But Barnes has something way more embarrassing on his mind…which means way more fun for me!” Toz60 said, as she began a metamorphosis
“Nooo!!! Now I have to deal with the mime and HER at the same time?!” Barnes said in disbelief
“Oh yea? Let’s see how you like THIS” Ava said, as she gestured to Duncan “Calgon, take him away”
Duncan suddenly phased from the alley into a bathtub that seemed to be floating inside of a giant bubble
“Google it if you don’t get the reference” Ava said with a wink
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 12, 2023 18:42:06 GMT -5
Suddenly, a buzzer sounded.
"Ah, damn, that's time." Ava sighed, turning and walking away. The others followed her to the edge of the field, where they placed all their guns on a weapon rack.
"We still getting dinner after this?" Duncan asked.
"Yep!" Ava said cheerily. "It's Calvin's turn to pay, I believe."
The five left the Mexican Standoff Factory and drove to Olive Garden, where they had a hearty supper and laughed about the busy day they'd had at work. Before long, it was late, and they all headed home.
Ava regaled her live-in boyfriend with tales of the day's standoff.
Barnes prayed, brushed his teeth, and went to bed early.
Calvin stayed up late, getting high and watching bad comedies on Netflix.
Duncan and his boyfriend... well, I shan't say.
But it was Everett who awoke in the middle of the night with a troubling thought. "Wait... all of us have a different color scheme... did Frank and Toz accidentally just reinvent the colorfolk again?"
The next day, the five showed up at the Mexican Standoff Factory at 9:00. They all chatted in the break room for a few minutes before their shift started, before clocking in one-by-one, grabbing their guns, and making their way to the field.
"Alright, everyone," said the manager of the factory, "I wanna see another great day of work! And remember our company motto!"
Everyone chanted in unison: "NOT SO FAST!"
The manager left the field, the buzzer sounded, and the five all pointed their guns at each other.
"Not so fast!" Duncan said. "I've got tickets to the new Puss in Boots tonight, anyone want to see it with me?"
"Dude, we're on the clock." Barnes said. "Standoff talk only."
"Oops, sorry," Duncan said, embarrassed.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 25, 2023 19:55:31 GMT -5
"Right, so we lost the mime and Toz60, so... your fate is sealed, Ava! For I have THIS!" Duncan said as he whistled to his subordinate who opened a box, and in that moment Ava was surrounded by those particularly annoying little flies that no matter how many times you wave your hand to swat them, they don't seem to go away
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Post by Eyes on Apr 2, 2023 7:52:17 GMT -5
"Not so fast!" shouted Calvin. "Those are clearly not flies, but holographic intrusions upon the fabric of mankind!"
"Okay we can be all rational sure but these things suck," said Ava, swatting with vigor.
Machine gun,
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 2, 2023 17:36:00 GMT -5
"Not so fast!" Yelled a voice. And the machine gun exploded. Fiona (remember her) leapt into action, taking the position in the standoff between Everett and Ava.
"Alright, let's get this standoff moving again." Fiona said, cockily. "I'm totally gonna win."
"Isn't the point of a Mexican Standoff that it's three people?" Duncan asked.
"It's more interesting this way, shut up." Barnes replied.
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