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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 17:04:22 GMT -5
"Actually, we just got a complaint from Alcoholics Anonymous. They're saying our attempts to romanticize the abuse of alcohol has already caused seven of their patients to relapse. Remember, this airs when kids could be watching." Frank said, popping into frame. "Also, Nessie's so drunk she's trying to convince Tug and TGC to, erm... I don't quite know what a threesome is, but we probably shouldn't be talking about it during primetime."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 18:11:01 GMT -5
"So back to the Irishman and Eyes" the narrator said
"Damn it" Eyes fumed (laugh track)
(Camera cuts to Eyes and the Irishman now in another scene)
"Hey, I know this... this was my first major party!" Eyes said in delight.
"Indeed it is. But due to the booze, you made one of te' biggest blunders of your life here" The Irishman said. And they watched it unfold before their very eyes.
"My God... how could I have forgotten? All I remember was a great party, but this?" Eyes said in shock.
"The drink has a way with making you forget; and in this case you forgot tat during the great party you had one of te' darkest moments of yer life" The Irishman said as the scene unfolded.
"How could you do this to me! I never want to see you again!" And then a slap was heard. Eyes reached up and touched his cheek, as if it had just happened, and a tear formed in his eye.
(To be honest, I have no idea where this episode is going now, so I'm just rolling with the punches)
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 19, 2017 1:04:43 GMT -5
"Well; this episode fell apart rather fast; what now?" Frank asked as he observed a lot of confusion in the writer's room
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Post by Riley on Jun 9, 2017 17:37:43 GMT -5
"Cut to Frank! Have him be the straight man in a weird situation!" Toz yelled.
Suddenly, Frank found himself in a zoo, except everyone was naked, with strategic censor bars, and the three sharply-dressed men riding the bright orange elephant. Also, it was raining cotton candy, and everyone had meerkats for heads.
"Say something funny, Frank! *laughtrack*
"I want my clothes back!" *canned laughter*
"Wait, was that canned laughter?" Frank asked, confused.
"Yeah, the laughtrack broke. There's so many preservatives in the canned stuff though..." *canned laughter*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 9, 2017 17:58:18 GMT -5
"Gaahhhh!!!!!" Frank screamed, as he suddenly awoke from his bed. He looked around cautiously as he went into the main room.
"Guys? Everyone, where are you? Franks said, nervous, the apartment was empty.
Where... where is everyone?" Frank thought to himself. "Maybe this is the dream, and that bizarre situation was reality" frank thought (canned laughter)
"Though the laughtrack still needs to be repaired..." frank muttered. "So what were we doing? Something about alcohol?" Frank said, trying to remember.
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Post by Eyes on Jun 10, 2017 4:07:21 GMT -5
*Cut to Eyes on stage in front of a crowd*
"So we were gonna make an episode in our sitcom about alcohol problems. Y'know, maybe be serious for once. Just a little. Y'know, my father had problems with alcohol when he was younger, and my grandmother did too, but hers lasted longer, even when I was younger. So I thought maybe we could do something philosophical, and still remain funny, like the great shows. Right? WRONG. Apparently no one else wants it. No one else really cares except for some F*CKING IRISHMAN WHO POPS UP IN DREAMS AND ME HANGING AROUND WITH A B*TCH NAMED RILEY WHO I DON'T EVEN F*CKING KNOW ALL THAT F*CKING WELL. OH OH OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!!"
"Stealing from Kinison won't get you places," Toz facepalmed. *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 10, 2017 10:30:29 GMT -5
Eyes has a point guys- we always start episodes with one of us posting the initial idea and building off of that. We rarely go off on a tangent for whatever reason. If he started this episode, we should at least see his plot idea through before doing anything else. I don't want to lose this game guys; so please, let's just bury the hatchet and move on.
"Well look- I think what happened was we got carried away and lost track of the point of this episode. Not to mention there was a bit of confusion over whether or not that initial scene with Nessie was canon or not. Ok, here's what we'll do- scrap the Christmas carol parody stuff, and we'll focus on the present then" the director said.
"Finally; maybe we can get somewhere- ok Eyes- you know where this episode is supposed to go, so where should we pick up from?" Frank asked.
"Not quite the beginning, but..."
......
*we apologize for any confusion in this episode. We will now resume what was originally supposed to take place.
......
The episode cuts to the apartment. Everyone but eyes is in the main room.
"Hey, where's eyes? Shouldn't he be up now?" Toz asked.
"I thought I heard moaning from his room. Hang on, I'll check on him" Frank said.
In Eyes' room, we find him on the bed, holding his head in pain.
"What the? Eyes, are you...hungover?"
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Post by Eyes on Jun 10, 2017 12:32:18 GMT -5
"No, no, I'm fine. You all get the work, I'll get along shortly..."
"All right then..."
As the door shut behind them, Eyes quickly raced over the bathroom, but before he hurled he exclaimed, "WHAT DID TGC DO TO MY TOWELS?!" *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 18, 2017 23:46:14 GMT -5
Everyone else is seen getting ready to go out when at last Eyes stumbles in.
"Ow... my head..."
"You're hungover, aren't you?" Frank asked.
"Is it that obvious?" Eyes asked.
"If it were any more obvious it would be written all over you in sharpie" toz said (laugh track)
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Post by Toz76 on Jun 18, 2017 23:55:33 GMT -5
"You know that isn't healthy!" Toz snapped.
"Dude, relax. We'l put a message from AA in the credits and spend the rest of the episode pretending a drinking problem is funny." Eyes said. *laughtrack*
"Fine. But I get to burn your signed Beatles poster."
"NOOOO!" *canned laughter (oh snap!)*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 18, 2017 23:59:14 GMT -5
"Before we fight again- let's make this clear- yes, we're doing that whole thing with being philosophical and all, but by the end, we need to make it clear- alcoholism is no laughing matter" Frank said sternly.
"Ugh, fine"
"Ah yes, now where were we?" Frank asked.
Eyes began, "well, I just want to say that..."
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Post by Eyes on Jun 19, 2017 0:08:36 GMT -5
"THAT'S THE F*CKING POINT OF THE EPISODE. Know what, I'm done, bye." and drunk Eyes jumped out the window.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 19, 2017 0:21:02 GMT -5
Or rather, he tried to... but his headache prevented him from coordinating himself correctly.
"Eyes! Eyes! What are you doing? We are on the seventh floor!" Frank reminded him.
"So? We've survived falls from here before.
"The landlord removed the bushes..." Tug pointed out.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 3, 2017 20:55:28 GMT -5
"It's okay, as long as it's an offscreen landing I'll be fine." *laughtrack*
Eyes jumped out the window, and his legs shattered on impact.
"That looks like something that will cripple you for life." TGC commented. "Thank god." *laughtrack*
"**** you!"
"You're the one who wanted to jump out the window. Also, no, you're ugly." *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 3, 2017 21:15:01 GMT -5
Through television magic, Eyes was fine, and the focus of this episode went back to what Eyes intended so we don't keep stalling this popular show.
"Eyes; this isn't like you! Look at yourself, look at what you let alcohol do to you!" Frank exclaimed.
"Oh my God... you're right Frank, jumping out the window, what was I thinking?! The booze is messing with my brain!" Eyes replied.
"They may call it liquid confidence... but look where it got you" Frank pointed out.
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Post by Riley on Jul 30, 2017 11:24:53 GMT -5
Suddenly, Riley ran in. "Time for a musical interlude!"
There’s a million wild and wonderful ways to say no
"No thanks!"
"No way!"
Better learn a few and take ’em wherever you go
"No thanks!"
"No Sir!"
If you’re pals say, ‘Let’s get a beer'
There's no reason to fear,
Go ahead, let fly, spit right in his eye and say-
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
There’s a million international ways to say no
"Those drinks are so boring!"
All around the world the smart guys are giving up dope
"I’m in training for football!"
In Berlin they just say ‘Nein’
And they tell me that works fine
Cause the bottom line’s just show ‘em you’re sign and say no
Now you could say "beat it, get lost, get out of my face with that stuff-"
But that could be tactless, you may prefer cool, like this:
"I’ll catch you guys later, okay?
I’ve got too much homework, it’s rough
I’m late for my baseball game and I’ll miss my ride
My kid sister needs me
Her hamster died
Gotta hurry home
There’s no time to kill
So I’ll catch you later"
Like heck I will!
There’s a million wild and wonderful ways to say no!
"Ah-choo! Guess I’m allergic!"
And a good excuse is something you never outgrow
"It’s bad for my complexion!"
When you’re pals say, “Let’s get wrecked!”
Just grab your self-respect
Go on, push eject, protect yourself-
Get up and go!
Be the first one on your block to say-
"Eh, forget it, doc!"
Now you’re chock-full of those wonderful ways to say no
But I forgot one, wait!
There’s a million, zillion wonderful ways to say no!
Stand back and I’ll demonstrate!
There’s a million, jillion wonderful ways to say-
HI-YAH!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
"Never reference that abomination again." Frank snapped. Riley seized their paycheck for the episode and snuck out.
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Post by Eyes on Jul 30, 2017 13:15:05 GMT -5
"That Riley is annoying, isn't she?" Frank said.
"Yeah," said Eyes. "As if my head doesn't hurt enough."
"Where'd Toz even pick up that guy anyway?"
"Girl you mean."
"Guy."
"Girl!"
"You know what?" says Frank.
*music plays*
"If you think that she's a girl, then maybe yes she is.
If I think that they're a guy, then maybe I'm riiiiiiiiight.
Could both be right or wrong, what could be the truth?
But only one thing can I say, and it's that they are
BAD NEWS
BAD NEWS
All day."
"Yeah!" said Eyes, picking up the song.
"Genderqueers are fine and good in their own right
But you can go a step to far when that Riley is in siiiight.
Why can't she leave us alone, we'll go our merry ways.
She just brings trouble along, and all that can say is that she's
BAD NEWS
BAD NEWS
Riley."
Both join in:
"Confusing things between us two, none can e'er compete.
Where the hell does he belong, her apartment or the streeeeeet?
She shall never come here no more, for us two to yell.
And as we end this song, it's with the fact that they're
BAD NEWS
BAD NEWS
All year."
"Excuse me?" said Toz.
"BAD NEWS
BAD NEWS
All yeeeeaaaarrrrr...."
"I'ma get my flamethrower," said Toz. "Be right back."
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Post by Riley on Aug 18, 2017 0:07:42 GMT -5
Clearly, this episode wasn't going anywhere, so it just ended.
*************
Episode 4: Stripped Of Our Dignity
Toz burst through the door.
"Five tickets for a two-week Caribbean Cruise aboard the USS Godiva!"
The others cheered.
Toz turned to the camera and winked. "This episode sponsored by Godiva Cruise Lines! Expose yourself to new situations and feel the wind in your hair with Godiva Cruises! Now with cruises to Alaska and Japan!" *canned groans*
"What? We've got to make money somehow, why not with some clever product placement? Now, let's get packing!"
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Post by Eyes on Aug 20, 2017 0:49:03 GMT -5
"What do we where?" asked Frank.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 20, 2017 0:56:15 GMT -5
"A Godiva Line Cruise to the Caribbean!" Toz shouted.
"Hi, I'm Steve Dingle, CEO of Godiva Cruise lines. I just wanted to thank you boys personally for sponsoring us." Steve said, emerging from the bathroom.
"What is he doing here?" Frank whispered.
"Our new line of nudist cruises will revolutionize-"
"I'm sorry, nude cruises? We air during prime time." Frank pointed out.
"This is also a total ratings grab." Toz exclaimed. "I don't know if you've checked the Internet lately, but there's been some... interesting fanart, and this episode is an attempt to appeal to that crowd."
"Is this why Riley isn't going?"
"That, and they think sponsored episodes are a sign that the show is selling the [BLEEP] out." *laughtrack*
"They're right, you know." Tug whispered. *laughtrack*
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