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Post by Eyes on Jun 21, 2018 0:32:11 GMT -5
The Wizardous Horrid Apple Takers Their Horrendous Evil Findings Under Children Killed, or W.H.A.T.T.H.E.F.U.C.K. for short, were shocked that their evil had melted away so fast.
“Curses!” cries Jembob. “Now they’re coming for us!”
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Post by Eyes on Jun 22, 2018 15:51:30 GMT -5
Well uh, maybe let's let someone like Toz76 take a turn, unless you're ready to make that response right now. |
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 22, 2018 15:58:50 GMT -5
Actually yea; may be a while before I get to this.
Anyone is free to reply now; unless I get to this sooner than I anticipate
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Post by Eyes on Jul 3, 2018 0:56:52 GMT -5
And so The New Medieval Tales have begun. But first, a word from our sponsor!
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Ask your doctor is SAND is right for you."
And now back to our regularly scheduled program.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 1:49:08 GMT -5
(See discussion)
And so, our heroes, sicknof sitting around and waiting aimlessly, proceeded on their outlines quest from a couple pages ago that took them to all the places with the scary names
Two weeks later, they arrived at the Forest of Damnation, when they observed...
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 1:53:58 GMT -5
"Holy pieseed! Look at that!"
It was the big demonic snake fight they'd ever witnessed!
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 1:59:48 GMT -5
The two snakes were going st it, buying and wrapping themselves around each other
"Wow, what a way to snake, rattle and roll" Frank said
"Boo" went everyone else at the pun
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:02:26 GMT -5
Eyes was more confused at how two snakes could be going st it, buying and wrapping themselves.
But who cares? The winner would get the lovely snake maiden, and that, as TGC pointed out, would give us some great snake sex, "Which is the kinda shit I like to see," he stated.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 2:09:02 GMT -5
"Stupid auto correct!" Frank fumes as he went to correct the writing.
"They were BITING and WRAPPING around each other" he fumed as the scuffle continued.
"Well, into the forest" Frank said as the band marched on
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:11:27 GMT -5
Ah yes, the Forest of Kings. Here, where the civilizations of old once reigned, long forgotten to the dirt of time.
You could almost see them now, praying to the gods of nature, building the cities of stone...
And because we need a new plotline anyway, we're going to stay away in the Forest of Kings as our heroes battle the gods of the underworld to save the lost civilizations in....
THE BOOK OF SOULS!!!
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 2:14:04 GMT -5
"Wait, what? No what is this? This is the forest of damnation! What is this forest of kings nonsense?" Toz asked
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:17:07 GMT -5
"Different name for the same thing," said an old hermit who conveniently appeared at this moment. "The Forest of Kings was a sacred place to the lost civilization known as the Mainerns. But some things happened here that changed it from a Forest of Kings... to a Forest of Damnation."
"What happened?" asked Frank.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 2:19:44 GMT -5
"Let me tell you the tale. It all started long ago, very, very VERY long ago. During the reign of Damarias XII, when..."
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:24:04 GMT -5
"...his daughter, Princess Anne Mary-Anne, was a-lookin' for a husband. You see, she desperately needed to have sex or her reproductive organs would spring out like a monster and annihilate everyone in sight. Obviously she couldn't have an affair, that would've been terrible for her public image."
"Thank god we've moved past that," said Toz.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 2:27:34 GMT -5
"Which brings us to when she met the man of her dreams, Holpertinfer Wingerdinger. They fell in love and that's when things got very interesting. See it started when..."
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:32:58 GMT -5
"...the first had sex. Now, her reproductive organs would only become monsters if she didn't have sex. What no one bargained on was the fact that Wingerdinger's became monstrous DURING sex. As they started going at it, his dick became something akin to a tentacle monster with razor sharp teeth, and he ended up killing her. However, HER organs, now becoming activated because this was a self-defense thing, suddenly grew monstrous, and they killed Wingerdinger. HIS organs still lived on, and the two battled throughout, annihilating the entire empire and half the population before someone got the bright idea to run to the hills. It wasn't pretty, and it caused the demise of the Mainerns."
"Wow," said TGC.
"Cool," said Toz.
"Jesus," said Eyes.
"Crap," said Tug.
"Dude, what the F*CK?" cried Frank.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 2:34:26 GMT -5
"Yea I don't believe a single word of what you say; its utter nonsense and too dark even by our standards" Frank pointed out
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 2:39:12 GMT -5
"Suit yourself," said the hermit. "But the last people who said they didn't believe me..."
Suddenly, the earth opened up and the group got swallowed into the void.
"...well I TRIED to tell 'em," said the hermit.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 15, 2018 16:53:13 GMT -5
And when they emerged... they were deep in the Forest of Despair.
"Well that helps... I guess? What do we do now?" Tug asked. Then Frank saw it... a yellow brick road.
"Call it a hunch but..." and Frank and the others began to follow the yellow brick road.
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Post by Eyes on Jul 15, 2018 17:14:26 GMT -5
Suddenly, a green witch zoomed out of the sky. "Fly my pretties, fly!"
And lo and behold, a bunch of frogs jumped up and started flying.
"Well I'll be a pickled liverwurst in a sauerkraut tournament!" said Frank.
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