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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 4, 2016 23:17:18 GMT -5
In the event the AGF were to fall, we would still have the game. I only have time for a bit tonight; sorry guys
.........
Once upon a time, in the land of Cordann on the island of Magykka, a young boy named Heph was hard at work. He was an apprentice blacksmith, and was already showing great skill.
Then one day, he hammered the town minister on the hand. The minister was furious.
"why would you do that?"
"Because I know what you really do with the money collected every Sunday, and you are going to pay!"
The minister was terrified... He had been busted!
But then he called upon the demons ( affraid face here) to get him out of this jam.
Heph fled the demons in terror. He shouted a warning: "Minister Pokyrah is attacking me!"
Soon, the townsfolk were chasing Pokyrah down. He hid in his manor on the banks of the River Eb and summoned more demons.
On the other side of town, Heph escaped only by summoning the great wazalka!!!!
Heph climbed on the Wazalka's back, and the two flew to the safety of the southern forest.
But in the forest, Heph realized he had not thought it through. He was now stranded in the forest with a hungry Wazalka, and he had no food for himself. All he had was the hammer he had attacked Pokyrah with, but it was strictly industrial and no good against a Wazalka.
So he ran.
And ran and ran... Until fell fell from a cliff and landed in...
His bed!!
"Oh, what a nightmare." He said as he woke up and went to make breakfast
But far away, on the other side of the island, the dark lord Elmo (an ancient Magykan name meaning "Bringer of death"), was planning to conquer Cordann, but needed a blacksmith to make weapons for his army. So he sent a goblin spy, Dravini, to kidnap one...
Meanwhile, Heph ran into Pokyrah on his way to work. In reality, he was a nice man, if somewhat superstitious. When Heph told him about the dream, Pokyrah gasped.
"That dream is a bad omen. It means that an evil force will be coming forth soon." He said ominously.
"How will we know when the force is coming"
"There are twenty five signs that will signal the arrival of the evil."
Bewildered, Heph asked "what are they!" Pokyrah cleared his throat
1. "First, all over town windows will shatter, yet no one will cast stones upon them"
2." Next, the call of the raven shall be heard, yet no birds will be in town"
3. "A fireplace will light, without anyone using flint or tinder
4. "The river will freeze solid, yet it is 75 degrees"
5. "Pigs will fly"
6. the eldest son of the seventh son will have his skin turn green
7. The seventh son of the eldest son will have his skin turn blue
8. A creature shall be born that will walk on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and three legs at night
9. A cow shall jump over the moon
10. The dog will laugh
11. The dish will run with the spoon
12. A mysterious stranger will enter town, asking only for rest and water
13. He will leave the next day
14. Locusts will ravage our crops for 3 days, yet when they are done, more crops will sprout
15. A horseman will ride through town, holding a torch
16. The sky itself will catch fire for 30 seconds... Yet no harm will befall anyone, even the birds
17) water will burn
18) all men in town will sleepwalk
19) a mysterious ringing will be heard through town, yet no source found
20) a leader will fall
21) another wil rise
22) a dove shall be seen With a raven
23) a pig will go to market
24) a riddle will appear in the river
25) 500 hours of darkness will cover the land
(I'm really bored right now, lol)
"500 hours?!" Heph exclaimed.
"Well it's actually 473 hours, but we say 500 to make it sound more dramatic."
But Heph wasn't so sure. "There's no way that true." He said
Meanwhile, very far away, an evil sounding voice said "let the extremely long ritual begin!"
Suddenly, all over town, windows shattered.
"I was right!" Said Pokyrah, as an unseen raven crowed.
Heph and Pokyrah ran to the blacksmith shop. Heph's fellow apprentice, Nikko, yelled, "Who lit that fire? And where's all the flint gone?"
"We have to get you out of here, fast." Said Pokyrah. "These evil forces want you, hence the dream. If we leave the town, we can spare the townsfolk from the worst of it."
"But how will you get out?" Asked Nikko. "Have you forgotten the river that surrounds the entire town? You can't just walk over it!"
Heph glanced at the thermometer. It was 72 degrees and rising steadily. "Actually, we can."
Heph looked outside as the river began to freeze. But then, a look of triumph was on his face.
"Wait, the ritual will fail; no one in this town has seven sons!" He realized
"I think we're supposed to worry about flying pigs now". Pokyrah pointed out
On the other side of the river were the southern forests. Heph and Pokyrah walked for days, but they couldn't see the sky.
At last, they emerged from the forest into the barren land of the minotaurs. At that moment, they saw a flying pig.
"What?" Asked Heph. "How is this possible? We were in there for days, we should be further along."
"Part of the legend states that you must see each sign before the next can happen. I shall now blindfold you for your own good."
Back in the town, Dravini had found a suitable blacksmith: Nikko...
"wait, you don't want me... Besides, you can't take me yet... The ritual isn't done!"
Dravini thought about his next move very carefully... So much so Nikko had enough time to alert The captain of the town guard, Caretius, of this new threat.
Caretius took Nikko to a safe place (the old, crumbling footbridge), and went after Dravini. But the goblin was craftier then he'd anticipated, and he was soon on a wild goose chase.
Meanwhile, on the southern part of the island, the Tolkienesque stereotypical noble archer wood-elves were discussing the signs. Two junior elves, Eduardo (gasp! A real name) and Kokar, where listening in when suddenly, they heard: "If the chosen one dies before the beginning of the twenty-fifth sign, perhaps we can yet save the world from the terrible monster that is Elmo."
The two elves were complete opposites (Eduardo was quite and intellectual, Kokar was... not), but they both agreed that they could not let the chosen one die. So they set off to find him.
It took much searching, but in the name of plot acceleration, eventually the wood elves found Heph and Pokyrah.
"You are the ones called Heph and Pokyrah. We have been looking for you" Eduardo stated.
"You need not fear us. We are on your side." Kokar followed up with.
Heph was so relieved, he removed his blindfold.
To his amazement, Eduardo suddenly turned green and Kokar turned blue."
Heph just cut to the chase "one, will this wear off? And two, how many brothers do each of you have?"
"OK, so it won't wear off. And we have 50807970249870239857203458723490587239587234059273450293845720934857209834579082345790283457092384752098347520389475230984 brothers."
The group decided to hide in a cave and seek shelter for the night, hopefully avoiding babies along the way.
Little did they know that many Minotaurs had taken up residence in the cave too...
"In the event we don't get out of this alive, I just want you to know I lied; eventually our skin colors will return to normal, and we only have six brothers each; our fathers had six brothers each too." One of the elves informed
But they did breathe a sigh of relief "well, at least all of us are male; there's no way any of us could birth a creature that walks on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and there legs at night."
"Yes, that's true." Pokyrah said. "But what could this creature be?" The elves said. Regretfully they hadn't heard the narrator say "babies"
Heph thought about it "I know! It's a tiger-gorilla hybrid with an extendable third leg!" The others just stared at him.
"Think about it; in tiger mode it's four legged, but in gorilla mode it's two legged. Then while in gorilla mode, it can bring out its extendable third leg."
The others stared at him "THAT IS THE MOST ABSURD THING WE HAVE EVER HEARD!!!" All three screamed together
"Do you have any ideas?" Heph replied. So they began to think.
Luckily, since the narrator didn't want to see them go insane, he told them that it was a riddle the Sphinx had asked many years ago. The answer? M-
Suddenly the Minotaurs charged out and took them by surprise.
A long battle took place... Where the minotaurs ere eventually chased off.
At last, the narrator said "the answer is man."
Heph thought "wait a second, thousands of babies are born everyday! Could the sign refer to the birth of a specific baby?"
"Yes, Vladimir Titanica. It is said that one day someone will rule the world, and since I'm the narrator, I know that it will be him. He will wage wars that will eventually destroy the earth, but during that time, will make people believe that he is a peace lover. Now I must leave; I've said to much already." So the narrator left.
"Well we can relax; until that sign happens the remaining 19 or so cannot take place." Pokyrah assured Heph
And they all sighed with relief
Meanwhile, in the far-off land of Chakalaka, Drilnag Drolnag the farmer was (surprisingly( farming, when he suddenly saw in the sky a peculiar metal object. It landed in a cornfield, and three people in fancy blue armor stepped out.
"Excuse me, what year is this?" Asked one of the men.
"I dunno. 'Snot my job to keep track of the year. Who're you?"
"We're time travelers, sent to kill one Susanna Titanaca before her baby is born so the future remains safe and happy."
"Mitch, you weren't supposed to tell him that! It could cause a paradox!"
The three argued as they got back in and flew off. Drilnag shrugged and went back to work.
____
Heph and Co were hungry. They had to fight the minatours for food, and a baby minotaur they called "Minos would follow them around, asking for food by grunting. Eventually, they made a plan.
"We'll kill him; he'll anyway kill us when he becomes an adult, and he's so big (Minotaur babies are big) that he'll give us a tasty meal for a few days."
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Post by Toz76 on Jun 4, 2016 23:48:36 GMT -5
Here's page two... I'm not up to the hellish task of copying the rest over. Note the "Phyphyxlstyx"...
*******
Heph and the other three were walking through the woods when they heard it... A baby cry!
"Oh no! Can it be?!"
"No no... Maybe the baby is a few months old?"
But then they heard in the distance "congratulations! It's a boy!"
"Oh no!" Heph said terrified, "that means the other 18 or so will now happen!" But at least it has to happen one at a time, and in order. Otherwise the ritual would fail
The next thing they knew...
Eduardo saw that Heph had brought Minos!
"We were supposed to kill it!"
"But he's too cute to kill!" Said Heph.
"Heph," said Eduardo, "I know it's hard, but it has to be done."
Heph would not stand for it. "I'll train him. You'll see."
By dawn, they had reached the town of Phiphyxlstix.
It was still night, and the moon was still visible though, they looked up. "Hey, there are no cows here to jump over the moon... Maybe the ritual failed!"
Then they met a prophet who told them that Minos would grow up and would fight the world ruler (Vladimir Titanica) and bring the destruction of the earth, and advised them to kill him. They knew they had no choice, but when they turned to him, he was gone.
Minos had, in fact, fled back to his mommy in the caves, where he was not seen by humans for a long time.
Meanwhile, the time travelers arrived in the forest to find Baby Vlad alive and well.
"Change of plans, guys, let's kill him!"
But suddenly a voice - the devil himself - cried, "You shall not kill him! I have big plans for my son!" And he killed them all. Luckily Heph and his gang weren't there.
Ah, but this caused a paradox! The three time travelers had come from a future where they had killed Vlad! The world was split into two timelines: Timeline Alpha, where the devil succeeded, and timeline Beta, where he hadn't.
In both timelines, Heph hid in a dark cellar, because the next sign was "a cow jumps over the moon".
After the narrator flipped a coin to decide which timeline to focus on, to avoid confusion, the story focused once again on Heph, who was repeating over and over
"Cows can't jump over the moon." "Cows can't jump over the moon." "Cows can't jump over the moon."
When BANG! The devil had put the timeline back together.
In the fixed timeline, Vlad lived, but so did the time travelers.
"What do we do now?"
"We could cause all the signs to happen, then kill him during the 473 hours of darkness!" Said Lenny.
"We could continue as planned, go back before he was born, and kill his mother," suggested Greg.
"We could get something to eat," said Mitch.
Mitch won in the end.
30 years later:
The original crew had worked hard, but they couldn't find and kill Vlad, and now they heard in the news of a man named Vladimir Titanica who was to be Potentate of the World.
But wait: Vladimir is the leader who rises as part of the twenty-first sign (they're all on page one) and we're only through nine. So let's go back to 30 years ago, when Heph and Co were in that town, the name of which escapes me.
In the town whose name was forgotten, Heph, went outside to get some fresh air, when he saw a cow jump!! Over the house, that is
"Phew, for a second I thought the next step would be fulfilled" he said, relieved.
Just then, the dog next to him laughed.
"Wait, how can this be! The cow was supposed to jump over the moon! Unless..."
"Hah! You're two steps early!" Said Heph.
¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
Bessie was a special cow. When she jumped, she practically flew. So when she Jumped off a mountain, it's no surprise that she cleared the moon... and Heph just had to look up.
But at that same moment, the dog laughed. Heph looked down, only to see a dish run away with a spoon.
Heph went into the common room of the inn they were staying at. Just then, a cloaked figure walked in.
"I want a room for one night and a glass of water." It said.
Though Heph didn't know it, the figure was actually Dravini, and he was there for Heph.
The next day, he left town, with Heph tied up on the horse behind him, unconscious, and two more signs finished.
Just as the stranger left, Heph noticed locusts.
For 3 days they ravaged the town, and on the 4th, had disappeared.
Suddenly a horseman holding a torch rode through town, and as he left, the sky suddenly caught fire, as did water.
Heph saw all this from the back of Dravini's horse. Soon he arrived at Lord Elmo's castle, where he was set to work.
Back in the town, the others searched for Heph, but found no sign of him.
That night, Mary Ann Jo was up. She couldn't sleep. Suddenly she saw the most perplexing sight: All the men in town were sleepwalking!! They walked around for an hour, and then went back to there houses. Mary Ann Jo was shocked.
The next morning she decided to tell the minister. Before she could, there was a ringing sound. It went on for an hour until it stopped, and, though they looked, no source was found.
Mary Ann Jo was finally able to talk to the minister, but a knock on the door interrupted her. A man stood there. "Did you hear?" he said. "The president's been shot dead!"
But luckily, Heph saw none of it, so it wasn't official!
>>>>> 30 years later, Vladimir made a plan. He would travel back 30 years, kill Elmo, and take over his evil empire. That way, both signs 20 and 21 would occur faster.
<<<<< Heph was cross. He was underfed, overworked, and tired. At least Nikko was there with him.
In the news, people were still talking of the president's death, and the new president's election. Thus, sign 21 was answered.
Just then, an all powerful being entered where Heph and Nikko were being kept. He wiped out the guards and rescued them. "I am the Deux ex machina, here to rescue you!"
As it brought them back to town, a thought occurred to Heph.
"I lost track; what sign am I up to?"
Suddenly he saw a dove and a raven sitting together like 2 lovebirds. "It must be 22!"
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 19:19:15 GMT -5
Here's Page 3:
(Heph left town in the middle of the locust plague, so that one was invalidated.)
The Deu Ex Machina set the two down in a forest. After locating a donut tree and a tic-tac shrub, they set off in search of water and shelter.
Back in the town, Pokyrah, Eduardo, and Kokar finally gave up. Heph was gone. They tamed a herd of pegasi and flew off.
As fate would have it, they flew in the direction Heph was.
After the reunion, they got on the same page.
"Ok, so we left off with the locusts... What came next?"
"The locusts are invalidated. I left before they did. We just have to avoid staying in the same place for more than one day, and we'll be fine." Heph said.
"What's going on? Why are you traveling with multicolored elves? Where are we?" Nikko asked.
So Pokyrah got him up to speed, while Heph and the Elves talked.
"I thought you said your skin would return normal?" He asked the elves
"It will. We just need to wait". They explained.
With that cleared up, they began planning their next move.
Unbeknownst to them, one man was sneaking up behind them... with a knife!!
He then tapped their shoulder
"Excuse me, I'm a professional knife juggler. Would you like to see my act?"
Though buzz are, they did consider this man's offer
The man grabbed five knives and started juggling. The five looked on. Eduardo was very suspicious...
Suddenly, he realized! "You're Glohto! The elves sent you to kill Heph so the prophecy won't come true!"
That's when Glohto threw a knife at each of them.
But then Heph stopped everything
"Wait, I thought we didn't want the prophecy to come true?"
As the knifes were thrown, they suddenly stopped in mid air. A loading wheel appeared over them. It disappeared for half a second, the knives traveled a little further, then the loading wheel appeared again!
"Huh?" Glohto asked, confused
The knives disappeared in a burst of flame, and in their place, a phoenix appeared!
"Thank you for saving us!" Said Kokar.
"I am Twitter. I do not give favors idly. You owe me something in return." Said the phoenix, in a voice that was meant to be dramatic, but really just made him sound like a parrot.
Glohto used that time to slip away to tell the elf-king.
Then the phoenix attacked him.
"I shall use a horrifying spell on you!" Said Twitter. There was a burst of flame, and then... Glohto's hair vanished!
"It is the most dangerous spell I know, short of bursting into flame and dive-bombing someone, which is unnecessary as of now," said Twitter apologetically.
Meanwhile, Heph was frightened. More of the signs had come true!!
"Look! Locusts!"
The five ran, but wherever they went, more appeared. Three days later, they vanished.
"Oh no! Two locust plagues! And just to fulfill some dumb prophecy too." Said Kokar.
But more signs were to come. The next one was
A horseman riding through town carrying a torch. "Oh no! There he is!"
Meanwhile, Twitter was flying when he crashed into the sky, fell down, and landed in the water. Both caught fire.
Heph saw it all.
Suddenly, the water caught fire, too.
"Oh, no!" cried Heph.
And that's when the next sign came.
"Next sign, next sign; what was it?!"
"I remember! It is..."
it is... it is..."
Then it happened.
Suddenly, all the men in town started sleepwalking! Then, a mysterious ringing was heard.
That's when Elmo arrived.
"Ha! This town is mine!"
Then, the time machine appeared. Future Vlad stepped out, tripped Elmo, and levitated into the air.
"Apparently, the leaders falling and rising were literal." Observed Pokyrah.
"Who cares! That was four signs in one post! What now?" Panicked Nikko.
Elmo got to his feet.
That's when the Numbered Diesels used the Number of the Diesel (101010) to wipe out the world.
Toz used the Number of the Toz (76) to bring it back.
Future Vlad was immensely powerful, but he'd underestimated Elmo. As the two fought, Heph and Co crept away.
"Only four signs left! What do we do?" Shrieked Heph.
Suddenly future Vlad jumped into the time machine and rode away, hacking the world, which resulted in Toz's signature.
Elmo was not defeated, but he was furious. He set the entire forest on fire!
The 5 musketeers fled.
Unfortunately, a huge rock with a space dove and a space raven crashed onto the island.
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 19:30:05 GMT -5
Now here's Page 4:
"Luckily, there are no markets in Darodia." Said Eduardo.
"Then how will we eat?" Asked Nikko.
"Nature will provide." Said Eduardo simply.
"Actually, there are markets here... It's just that there are no pings. This is actually the land without birds and pigs" Heph corrected.
And the heroes cheered
Suddenly a man walked up.
"I took the dove and raven you saw a moment ago and bred them and VOILA! they made a family in .25 seconds. I'm setting up a market, and OH! There's a pig from N'rwhanda who wants to be something. Excuse me."
"Darn it!!" cried Heph. There's only one more sign left!!!
"Relax, how could a riddle appear in a river? On top of that the nearest one is 500 miles away". Nikko said
"But then there will be 500 hours of darkness!"
"500 hours?!"
"Well, actually, it's 473 hours, but we round it to 500 to be more dramatic."
"19.7083333333... days!?" Said Eduardo. "But... Elmo could conquer Magyka in 19 days!"
"Wait, I'm lost here... What happens after all the signs?" Asked Nikko.
"After the 473 hours of darkness, an evil force wil descend upon the land. But since we are not near a river, there is no way for a riddle to appear in it, but the hours of darkness will not start so long as no one answers the riddle. So all we gotta do is stay away from rivers. The nearest one is 500 miles away." Pokyrah concluded
"During the 473 hours, either Elmo or future Vlad will descend upon the land!" Said Eduardo.
Meanwhile, the three time travellers were plotting how to get the time machine back from Vlad.
Suddenly, an bird swooped down on them and carried them off.
The bird dropped them suddenly by a river.
Then they saw the riddle.
"Wihdrhndyhhuddbvstjfsgjvehihsyjbdshihsshhxsgkjwripltwammvzoo" appeared in the water "wait, I recognize the style; that's the dead language of Fanui; no one knows how to speak it. The riddle will never be solved... We are saved!"
And the heroes cheered as they ran away from the river
"I shall solve the riddle for you!" Said Twitter, who was fluent in several dead languages.
He flew to the river and returned. "The answer is..."
'Vlad will rule, and no one shall stop him. He will reign for 7 years proclaiming that he is God. However, take heart! After his seven year reign, the Number of the Diesel will defeat him, and free everyone who was enslaved by him. Do not try to kill Vlad, he can't be killed. Just remember that he won't reign forever.'"
"What's the Number of the Diesel?" asked Heph.
"Listen closely, for it is the number of an engine. And it is 1 and 100 thousand and 10."
"So, 101010?"
"Correct."
"So, now what?"
"OH NO! Now begins the 500 hours of darkness!!"
"473!"
"Whatever!! How can we figure out how to stop the evil force that will come in 473 hours?!" Heph panicked
Suddenly, the darkness came.
The shut there eyes, and when they opened them again, it was bright.
"Was it a dream?"
"No," said Twitter. "You fell asleep. The darkness has passed. Now Vlad's reign will start."
"We slept for nearly 3 weeks!" Said Heph.
"And it sure helped. I feel strong!"
Not far away, Elmo woke cursing. He had slept right through the Days of Darkness!
Suddenly a voice said, "I am Vlad!"
But then Heph woke up..
"You slept for two hours; we only have 471 hours left to figure out how to stop the evil force before it comes!" Pokyrah explained
But then he woke up. The voice kept saying, "
... all sorts of stuff, but no one was listening.
"How about we seek refuge in the elf kingdom until this blows over?" Suggested Eduardo.
Then they heard, "We can hide you in Hellen for the 7 years." They turned to see my army of Number carriers/protectors.
"No thank you." Said Eduardo. "I've never heard of such a land, and my people are very powerful."
And so, they made their way towards the Elf Kingdom; which Vlad knew nothing about, nor was he interested in conquering any more land
"We will be safe here" Eduardo said as they entered the kingdom, welcomed with open arms
Suddenly a dark shadow blotted out the sun.
"I am Toro!!"
"Defender of all that is good, true and right! How can I be of help?"
"Please take us to the elf kingdom!" Said Eduardo.
So he did.
When they arrived Kokar said: "Look, my skin's normal now!"
Then it happened.
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 19:59:26 GMT -5
5 Alive, Page 5 that is:
The weary travelers were met by an advance elf guard.
"Ah, you've brought the chosen one." Said one. "We shall sacrifice him tonight. Good work. What shall we do with the other humans?"
"are you crazy? We are not to sacrifice the chosen one! He is the one to save us when the time is right!" His superior said
"Oh. Sorry. Im always getting the prophecies mixed up. Why do we have so many legends?"
Heph spoke up "We've come quite far; at last all is well. We will spend the next 7 years here then when the time is right, we take back our home."
They began to settle into a quiet village, where they were welcomed with open arms
The king showed up, with his 472 daughters and 397 sons. Two daughters, Oveidia and Redia, gave speeches. Then, Eduardo showed Heph the elves most prized possession: The SWORD OF DESTINY!
"According to legend, only the chosen one can wield it, or even pick it up, but we have, like, fifty chosen ones, so it probably isn't you."
But Heph somehow felt drawn to it.
He picked up the sword, to everyone's surprise, and screamed
"By the power of Grayskull, I AM HE-MAN!!"
Everyone just looked at him confused "what?"
Then Heph was confused "huh?"
"Or, what, She-Can?"
Heph shook his head.
"What's a she-can?"
"No idea."
Heph knew there was something he was supposed to say... But what?
Suddenly they heard a noise. It was Vlad.
Future Vlad flew in, and said in a booming voice, "You are my subjects now!"
But Heph had a great idea- he threw past Vlad at future Vlad! And thanks to the Blinovitch limitation Effect, future Vlad touching past Vlad was the key to victory. they wound up destroying each other in a massive electrical discharge. Vlad was no more
"Good thing I took that lesson on time travel seriously" Heph said
Then, Eduardo ran out. "Heph! You can wield the Sword of Destiny? An ancient prophecy states that you must enter the bloodstream of the Giant of the Western Plains, find a wooden boat carving, and use it to locate the great explorer, Noproe. You will also tame a dragon along the way."
"Count me out!" Said Nikko, who had fallen head over heels for Redia, one of the king's daughters.
Heph slapped Nikko across the face
"She's a princess, you're an apprentice blacksmith... Do the math." While Nikko "did the math," Heph spoke to Pokyrah and Eduardo
"What is it I must do now?"
"We must travel to the Dragon Wastelands. There, we shall find a dragon, and it will enable us to fly past the Toxic Swamp and Fire Lake."
So off they went.
They prepared to leave the kingdom. They were packing their things and gathering supplies, when Heph asked Nikko "are you coming?"
Nikko looked at him and said "I've decided..."
"Sure, on one condition."
"What?"
"I get a dragon too."
"I do not think that is my decision". Heph explained
So they set off, know that at least Vlad had been dealt with
But, unbeknownst to them, it wasn't the REAL Vlad that had been destroyed... it was a FAKE Vlad, and the real one was still biding his time...
Meanwhile,
The party had isolated two targets: a red dragon they called Flamethrower and a blue, Angel.
Suddenly, as they were about to come up to them, the dragons turned... human?!
Indeed they did. Flamethrower became a man in red clothing, while Angel became a woman in a blue dress.
"Be they humans or dragons?" Asked Pokyrah.
"Maybe they are a pair of those wise demigods sent from beyond to determine if we are worthy of their great power?" Heph suggested
"Maybe they're Animaloids?"
"Maybe they're Morphanials?"
"Maybe we could ask them?"
So Heph called out to them
"Beg pardon, You there! Be you man, or be you beast?"
The two turned into dragons. Flamethrower shot fire at them, and Angel shot boiling water.
The two ended up canceling each other out, as the water put out the fire, and the fire evaporated the water
Our heroes simply stated in disbelief.
Heph then said "she ot ka zing!" And clapped his hands
Lighting struck the ground around him
Everyone, even the dragons, who suddenly reverted to human form, just stared in disbelief
Using the sword, Heph floated upwards, speaking in a low voice: "Dragons, I command you to...
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 20:11:40 GMT -5
Here goes Page 6:
"... Listen to what I have to say, for i am the chosen one the prophecy speaks of!"
"Which one?" The red dragon asked
"Oh, Number thirty seven." He said in his normal voice
The dragons opened the "big book of 1001 prophecies and chosen ones"
They read it through "we'll hear you out" they said
"The prophecy states that I shall tame a dragon. I choose the one in the red."
"Can I have the one in blue?" Asked Nikko.
"You do realize she's a dragon, and that's just a disguise, right?" Heph whispered to him
"Plus we must be sure that they trust you." Pokyrah informed
Heph approached the (human form) red dragon
"You need a dragon? I shall serve." Said the red one.
Heph walked up and touched the dragon/people. There was a huge thunderclap.
The dragon/people were now just persons.
"Thank you," said Angel. "You broke the spell."
"What about me?" Asked the blue.
Nikko smiled.
Heph was now confused "What spell?" he said to Flamethrower and Angel
"I don't know. But if you need dragons, yeh got 'em."
Heph, Eduardo and Pokyrah climbed on Flamethrower, and the others climbed on Angel. "Yeah, I get a dragon!" Nikko said.
On the crest of a nearby hill, Dravini watched. He knew that the dragons were no match for Elmo's power, but he knew he could no longer follow on foot. He needed a new plan if he was going to capture the Chosen One. He decided to...
Try and figure out the situation.
"Ok, they are the good guys... But is it I or Vlad that is the bad guy?" He thought, since both of them appeared to be after the chosen one for indeterminate purposes
Dravini had no idea why Elmo needed the Chosen One, but he knew Elmo would be displeased if he returned empty-handed. And even worse, Elmo and Vlad were in cahoots. Vlad was worse than Elmo had ever been.
Dravini decided to catch his own dragon to pursue the party.
As Heph and the others continued on their quest, a lone knight observed all that had happened. He gallantly rode back to his headquarters, and informed his superiors of the evil menace.
That night, the Knights gathered as their brave leader Edogog spoke up
"And so brave Knights, tonight we march on the land whose name escapes us, and take back the land from the evil force that took it over during the 500 hours of darkness!"
"473!"
"Not the point! Remember our code, for we are the:
Knights
Needed
Universally for
Coordinated
Kombat,
Leadership,
Endurance and
Hope,
Experts in
Attack and
Defense
"For I am a knucklehead, you are a knucklehead, we are ALL knuckleheads! Proud knuckleheads determined to defeat the evil! Now knuckleheads, let's be off!! Let evil fear the name knucklehead! Cower before us, for the knuckleheads are coming!"
As the knuckleheads went on to battle, Elmo met with Vlad.
"So anyway, here is our organization's name, one sure to inspire fear in to the hearts of millions! We are the..."
Coordinated
United
Terrifying
Ingenious
Evil-doers
Supreme
"... All shall tremble before... The cuties!!"
Vlad thought it over. "I like it!! Let all throughout the land know that CUTIES rule over it! CUTIES is strong and powerful, and all shall fear it!!" He said quite proudly
Meanwhile, a messenger had reached Heph and the heroes
"Urgent! Urgent! The knuckleheads are attacking the cuties!"
Heph, Nikko and the others just stared at him, confused.
(Thank you Frank, funniest thing I've read all day.)
"Who are these knuckleheads?"
"We don't know, but they are truly powerful. With such as Edogog the Creative Acronym Creator and Rahalin the Guy who Sees the Future, we are surely doomed!"
"Then we must go vanquish them before their knuckleheaded actions do serious harm!"
(You're welcome; glad you liked it. Wonder what Diesel 11 will think of it)
"Wait a second, if this bunch of knuckleheads are going after the cuties Vlad and Elmo, doesn't that make them on our side?" Heph asked
"Well, if the knuckleheads are going after the cuties, then that must mean they are on our side!" Pokyrah pointed out
"Wait, are you sure teaming up with a bunch of knuckleheads is a good idea? Especially if our enemies are a bunch of cuties?" Nikko asked
"Heck yea, I wouldn't mind becoming a knucklehead myself" Eduardo said
"Just to take out a cutie? Sounds like a waste of time." Nikko rebutted
"Look, one of the many lessons of war is "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Therefore, if these knucklehead knights are attacking the evil forces, then that must mean the knuckleheads are on our side." Flamethrower concluded
"Then lets go find those knuckleheads!" Heph declared
And our heroes set off, determined to save the knuckleheads and take out the cuties
Meanwhile, Elmo had a plan. He instantly morphed into a large dragon, 81 yards long- THE BEAST! THE BEAST attacked the knuckleheads, and they scattered.
Edogog and Rahalin hid under a rock.
"What knucklehead came up with this plan?" Asked a cynical Rahalin.
"The same knuckleheads that have your back!" Edogog replied as he shouted with pride "WE ARE KNUCKLEHEADS! FIGHT ON MY BROTHERS!"
Meanwhile, Heph and the heroes finally arrived
Heph and his friends landed and asked the knuckleheads about the situation
"That dragon is Elmo? Wow, he is one heck of a cutie."
(LOL)
"Indeed. So act like a knucklehead! The cuties shall not prevail!"
And the Dream Team leapt into action, with the knuckleheads right behind.
Just then, Vlad realized he'd been doped. He quickly changed the name. They would now be:
Rulers
United
Lest
Everyone
Revolts
Skillfully
But before he could make the order official, a stone from his great castle fell and knocked him out cold... It also messed up his short term memory
When found by a servant, he said "I want you to know that I've decided we will now be called:
Dictators
Overly
Powerful,
Evil and
Sinister
"Are you sure sir?" The servant said
Meanwhile, the knuckleheads were starting to take down every cutie in sight; no one was aware of any name change just yet
Suddenly Heph had an idea...
He ran off, and made a giant cake for Elmo
"Oh Elmo..."
Elmo could not resist the aroma and began devouring the cake
"What did you put in it?" Eduardo asked
"Oh you know, flour, sugar, eggs, milk... And 38 pounds of prunes" Heph smiled cheekily
Suddenly Elmo felt very uncomfortable
It was needed. Vlad had now stated that anyone against there 'utopian efforts' would be killed.
"And another thing. Enough of this Vlad nonsense. I am now Vigaga!"
Hearing this, Eduardo gasped and quickly leafed through his Big Book of Prophecy.
Nikko, meanwhile, laughed. "What a bunch of dopes!"
"Wait, I thought they were cuties" Heph said, confused
"Apparently they want to be a bunch of dopes now"
"Aw, but they were good as cuties."
"Is it better to be a dope or a cutie"
"Those dopes are cuties!"
(Now, remember guys; Vlad wants to become world ruler, but wants people to think that he's a good guy.)
Vlad was having a bad time. "For crying out loud!" he shouted. "I'm not Vigaga! I'm Vlad! We're not D.O.P.E.S., C.U.T.I.E.S., or K.N.U.C.K.L.E.H.E.A.D.S., we're R.U.L.E.R.S.!!"
(Oh, sorry. But for the sake of plot, and not having to delete 11 posts of great jokes, let's just leave it at our heroes and the knuckleheads know the truth.)
"But you are not a knucklehead! We're the kunkleheads!" The attacking knights said.
"And you should check on Elmo, he's not doing so good." edogog said as he pointed to an outhouse with a lot of moaning heard coming from it Vlad had sneaked into the house unnoticed, and suddenly said, "Elmo, DIE!!" He picked up his sword, and smote Elmo dead.
When the others came, they saw the blood and knew what happened. (They did NOT know, however, that it was Vlad who killed him.) They buried him then and there.
R.I.P., Elmo.
The next day, the 'knuckleheads' attacked them again...
Vlad's castle was finally broken into!
They finally got into the throne room.
"It's over Vlad... You're surrounded by Knuckleheads!!"
Vlad redied his blade... But then, the unbelievable
The spirit of Elmo, his closest friend and ally appeared, chanting "traitor...traitor...TRAITOR!!" Over and over. Vlad was terrified.
"No, you're dead! I...i..." But the next thing he knew, his very soul was pulled out of his body by Elmo, bringing them both to the underworld
(NOTE: am basing the underworld on Dante's Inferno, but out of respect to others who have mentioned it, will not call it "hell")
When Vlad came to, he was horrified to find himself frozen from the neck down in a massive underground lake... The fate all those who betray their brethren endure.
The knuckleheads were bewildered at what just happened
"Uh... What just happened?" Heph asked
"Who cares! We have a giant to track down!"
Soon they arrived at the Western Fields.
"They say his blood vessels are 7 feet in diameter, so he should be easy to find."
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 20:49:28 GMT -5
Hope you guys enjoy Page 7:
"Wait are we dupposed to kill this giant?" Heph asked, to clarify what his goals were
"No, we have to enter this 278 mile high giants bloodstream to find a little piece of wood about a foot long that resembles a boat, then use it to find some guy named Noproe."
"That makes no sense!"
"Well, we did just participate in a Knuclehead-Cutie battle, so..."
"Let's eat!"
They went to a local tavern... They couldn't remember the last time they had eaten
Meanwhile, Vlad had broken out of the froz. Now he was more powerful than ever.
When he came out of his frozen captivity, he immediately found himself surrounded by demons, as he stood on the icy lake.
(Nothing was said about his escape from the underworld yet, and we'd miss a great opportunity here)
The many demons taunted Vlad
"Where are you going, Vlad?"
"No one escapes the ninth circle of the underworld"
"Your body is long buried... how do you plan to return?"
"King Minos sent you here for eternity"
"You are mortal Vlad"
Vlad readied for combat "hey, I was buried up to my neck in ice and I escaped, right? I think I can take you on."
In that moment, many dozens of demons charged at Vlad... to them, it would only be a matter of time.
Vlad shot a burst of energy at the demons. They flew like ninepins to the corners of the room.
That's when a figure appeared. It was Stonuvan, one of the Gods of Magykka and the surrounding isles. (Because no fantasy story would be completed without a made-up religion...)
"Vlad, you are strong, but you could be stronger. In a past life, you were Vigaga, the greatest dark mage who ever lived. I give you his weapon, the Sceptre of Death, in the hopes it will help you on your quest."
Vlad took the weapon. "Gee, thanks..."
"And know, since I'm a god, I will double-cross you and unleash a billion Shades to prevent you from escaping the underworld. You'll need to figure out how to use that thing quick!" And with that, Stonuvan vanished.
So Vlad tried to use the weapon... Only to slip and fall on the ice
"Ow! Well, that was anticlimactic" he dead panned
Then he rose into the sky. He could now float!
The earth trembled as he said, "I AM A GOD!"
Stonuvan appeared again. "Don't get cocky now, or I'll do a seven year timeskip in the narrative."
"Fine. I am GODLIKE. HAPPY NOW?"
"Very." Said Stonuvan. "By the way, you know those shades can fly, right?"
He disappeared, and a million flying shadows charged at Vlad/Vigaga.
Vlad had to fight through the other eight circles of the underworld to escape. But first, he had to fight through this massive demon army...
Meanwhile, our heroes had found the giant. It was 300 times the size of a human.
"We have to find a tiny plank of wood in that thing's bloodstream?" Asked Nikko.
"What we need is a deux ex machina!" Eduardo explained
"Huh?" Heph asked
"Basically, a complicated problem getting resolved by a lazy, unsatisfying solution that makes it easy. Sort of like that time we found the riddle in the river and that bird came along that spoke dead languages." he continued
"Wait, so does that mean we want a deux ex machina?"
"Let's take a fence, cut a hole in his leg so the blood drains out, and stop the plank with the fence!"
Was it Deus Ex Machina enough? Well...
----------
Meanwhile, Vlad was having the time of his life.
Vlad was in the middle of his million-demon fight, defeating everything in his line of sight, when everything froze around him. Then the many demons disappeared.
A wiseman appeared before him; one of the few beings Vlad had respect for
"Grandfather, but how..."
"It's not important Vlad. I am here to warn you of the dangers that lie ahead. At the edge of this frozen lake you will find giants spoken of in both the bible and in classical legend. Nimrod, Ephialtes, Briareus, Tityos, and Typhon, to name a few. However, the one you must find is Antaeus; he will willingly raise you to the eighth circle. Otherwise, you will never be able to leave the ninth circle."
"Ok, but what must I do in the eighth circle?" Vlad asked.
"You must deal with the fraudulent. There are ten areas you must go through, but since you are trying to escape, you'll be dealing with them in reverse; so you will be going from tenth to first.
"Ok, what am I dealing with?"
"The tenth area are the falsifiers; counterfeiters, imposters, alchemists, etc. they are afflicted with various diseases, for being "a disease on society" if you will. Be warned: if you get a disease in that area, you will never be able to leave. In the ninth area you will find the "sowers of discord" being hacked apart by demons with swords" the grandfather explained
"Because in trying to divide others, now they themselves are being divided?" Vlad deduced
"Quite right grandson; they are hacked apart, only to be healed then hacked apart again. But in your case, they will do more than just hack you apart when they see you trying to escape." The grandfather continued "in the eigth area, you will find those who told others to engage in fraud. They are forever concealed within individual fires, so basically, just avoid getting burned there."
"And this is still the eighth circle?" Vlad asked
"Regretfully so. In the seventh area, you will find the thieves. The centuar Caucus guards over them, but be warned. The real threat is the lizards and snakes that will bite you there. Every bite will transform you, until you are no longer recognizable as yourself, or worse, human."
"So avoid lizards, snakes and Caucus; got it." Vlad said.
"In the sixth area are the hypocrites; they walk around wearing lead cloaks... So don't worry too much there. The fifth area are the corrupt politicians, immersed in boiling pitch. Basically, don't get stuck, and watch out for the Malebranche Devils."
"Who are the Malebranche?" Vlad asked
"You don't want to know." The grandfather continued. "The fourth area is the sorcerers and false prophets; they walk around with their heads on backwards. No real threats there. Third area is those who committed simony. Second area is the flatters; they are in Human excrement, and the first area are the panderers and seducers. They are marching eternally while being whipped."
"Quite the trip." Vlad quipped.
"I will meet you when you get to the end of the eigth circle. Good luck." And he disappeared. Vlad then went to find the giant Antaeus
Meanwhile our heroes prepared to face their giant
(That was deep Razz)
Heph used the sword of destiny to cut a small hole in the giant's foot, about two feet in diameter. Blood began pouring out, but the massive giant hardly even noticed.
"Now what?" Asked Heph. "How will we find it in there?"
"There is only one hope," said Eduardo. "We need an expert on blood. A premier expert on blood."
"Oh, not that! When has that ever worked?" Asked Kokar. "How can we trust him after what happened to Kutu?"
"It'll work. Trust me."
"What's going on? Who's this "blood expert"?" Asked Nikko.
"Flasky. He's a vampire. He lives in the fire mountains to the southeast, in a tribe with forty-some other vampires and a talking onion they worship as their god." Said Eduardo sagely.
"He's lost it!" Hissed Nikko.
"No, it's true. These vampires are more civilized than most, but they view elf blood as a delicacy, as well as dragon. And they won't say no to human or pheonix, either. Yes, Twitter, I know you've been following us."
"How do you know a vampire?" Pokyrah enquired.
"He infected my brother, Kutu," sighed Eduardo, "but we have no choice. If anyone can find that random plank of wood, it's him."
(I see your long post and raise you one of my own. Sort of. Razz)
(Since I'm basing the underworld on Dante's Inferno, I had to be accurate. And that's just the eighth circle!)
"Ok, so what do we know about vampires?" Nikko asked
(I read Dracula a few years back; it's actually fascinating, how much there is to vampire lore.)
Heph reached into hammerspace and pulled out his "guide to mythological creatures."
"Hmm... Says here, vampires are creatures of the night. Sunlight is a major weakness, but not the only one. They fear religious artifacts, namely the cross. Anything Holy can hurt them, and they sleep in coffins on beds of consecrated earth?"
"What?" Nikki asked, confused
"Dirt from church grounds" Heph translated.
"Wait, so they are hurt by anything holy, yet they must sleep on consecrated earth?" Nikki observed
"Don't blame me, blame Bram Stoker." Heph said before continuing. "They cannot cross moving water unaided, and they cannot cross a threshold uninvited. Basically as long as you don't let him into your house, he can't get in."
"Go on." pokyrah said.
"Next thing to know, they also are repulsed by garlic, and light passes through them. So they don't have shadows or reflections. Some are also shapeshifter so, able to become bats or dogs."
"What does it say about killing one?" Eduardo asked.
"Well, there are a few ways, but the most effective is a wooden stake to the heart. It has to be made of a specific wood though. And if the stake is removed, they can heal and come back to life."
"Well then how do you permanently put it down?" Nikko said
"Cut off the head after staking the heart." Heph pointed out.
This was a lot to take in... But at least they knew plenty about vampires now. It was a good thing the vampires they were going to meet though, were more civilized than most
Sadly, Stoker had a few things wrong. Most vampires are like that, but these were civilized, so they were stronger. They didn't need an invitation to enter a building, though it was polite to knock. "Holy objects" didn't affect them, regardless of which religion, and they could sleep wherever. Sunlight and water was not all that bad, although they preferred night and deserts for sure. Just some of the perks of being civilized. They also loved and worshiped, off all things, onions, and feared above all else the color purple. There were some other trade-offs, though. They had weak immune systems, poor bladder control and a peanut allergy so severe, I couldn't even think of a good simile. To them, leather was poison, and arrows feathered with phoenix feathers aren't great, either.
The party soon approached the village.
While our heroes continued to deal with their giant, Vlad at last found the giant Antaeus, at the edge of the ninth ring.
He prepared to call him, for help to get to the eight ring.
While this was happening...
the vampires had been slayed. Fast, wasn't it?
The evil ones that had attacked them; of course. The civilized ones rescued the heroes and proceeded to help them
Just then, Vlad attacked.
Antaeus wouldn't help Vlad, so he did the only thing he could think of to change the giant's mind
He blackmailed him.
Meanwhile, the main characters had recruited Flasky and brought him to the giant.
"Okay, Flasky, where is the wood?"
"Let'sh shee," said a lisping Flasky. He knelt to taste the giant's blood. A few minutes later, he stood.
"The wooden boat ish...
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 21:06:34 GMT -5
Here's something great, and that is Page 8:
here."
"Pointing up. Very vague. What part of the bloodstream?"
"The area where the vein meets the artery." One of them said
Meanwhile, Antaeus finally lifted Vlad. Now in the eighth circle, he though about the warning of the tenth area (remember, he's passing through them 10th to 1st)
"Get even one disease in that area, you will never be able to leave" his grandfather's words echoed.
"Oh great" Vlad muttered as he began his journey through the eighth circle.
Meanwhile our heroes...
Were standing on each others shoulders to reach the artery Flasky had spoken of, in the left knee. Unfortunately, due to the giant's height, it was 450 feet off the ground.
"Now what?"
"We have a snack. Please pass the cookie."
"Sure thing, man."
-----------
Meanwhile, Vlad
Was terrified by the sight of many thousands of souls, afflicted by diseases. No demons guarded this pit, but the tortured souls tried to get after Vlad
"Boy am I glad I wasn't a falsified or counterfirter" Vlad said as he tried to avoid getting sick; one disease and it was all over.
In the distance. He could see the entrance to the ninth area.
He made it there. I'm not getting into details, but it was hard.
Suddenly, within sight of the door, a figure came lurching over and blocked the door. It was Julius Caesar, who had somehow accidentally gotten stuck in there.
"Hello, there. Give a hug to the Handsome Zombie-Spirit thing in the corner, will you?"
He approached Vlad with arms outstretched. Other spirits approached from behind. Vlad was cornered.
Julius Caesar smirked before returned to the first circle.
Vlad used his weapon to blow back the souls, then proceeded onward
Vlad entered the ninth area; sowers of discord were being hacked apart by demons with swords
"We have an escaping soul!" Some yelled as they went after Vlad. He prepared for battle
He used his soul-sword to destroy the souls, thus ending their 'lives'.
Vlad tried to kill the souls... But they re-manifested seconds later
"Oh that's right, this is the underworld; THIS is where they end up." He said as he fought the demons who came after him, who actually could be destroyed. All the while trying to find the entrance to the eigth area
Suddenly, a black-clad figure ran out, attacking the demons with a spear- the Spear of Terror (pronounced Teill-eill by most).
"Hi, I'm Tors. I was Vigaga's right-hand man in the Darkness War. Sure, I wasn't like his left-hand man, Elmo, but I was quite powerful in my own right. Unfortunately, I was dragged down here, and I seek the exit as well. Say, you look familiar."
Vlad sighed. This "Vigaga" thing was getting annoying. But he could use the help.
Vlad was a little suspicious "How were you a sower of discord?" He asked... but the ensuing demon attacks forced him to forget this question and fight on. If he could just find the entrance to the eighth area
"Wait, we can destroy demons, but not the souls?" Vlad asked, confused
"Demons have no souls; they simply cease to exist!" Tors replied
"And I got here the same way as you. Although the war did sow lots of discord." Tors said.
"How'd you know I was wondering about that?"
"I can read minds..."
Meanwhile, our heroes figured out how to reach the vein.
After aquiring the wood chip, Heph examined it
"So, what's this about a Noproe now?" He asked
"He's some explorer guy who was super-famous some 20 years ago. Then he vanished."
The group surveyed the chip. It was about a foot long, and shaped sort of like a canoe. A little carved boathouse was in the middle, and a name, "Aluk", was carved on the side.
"What are we supposed to do with it?" Asked Nikko.
"Maybe if we put it into the water, it'll turn into a real boat." Pokyrah offered.
Fortunately, the ocean was just a couple hours walk away, so Heph, Nikko, Twitter, Flamethrower, Angel, Eduardo, Kokar, Pokyrah and Flasky set off.
As they got to the water, Pokyrah noticed that he had an ability he wasn't aware of previously... He could walk on water!
(And no, he's not Jesus, lol)
"Oh my goodness! I'm...I'm..."
sinking!" he cried. It was only ice that he'd been on, and then it broke!!
Of course, they were on the edge of the ocean, so he didn't go far. As he stood up, the others prepared to do what they needed to do. They placed the wood chip in the water
At the same time, Vlad and Tors were finally in the eighth area of the eighth circle. They found those who told others to engage in fraudulent activity. They were forever imprisoned in individual fires.
"Ok... no real threat here... just keep moving." Vlad said to Tors. They entered the seventh area after about an hour of walking. They found the thieves, being bitten by snakes and lizards. Every bite transformed them in some way, until they no longer looked like themselves, or worse... they didn't look human. And overseeing this area, the Centuar Caucus. He saw them immediately
"YOU WILL NOT LEAVE!" He yelled. Snakes and lizards began to surround Vlad
"Oh, great." Vlad said
"remember, one bite and you will never be able to leave." Vlad's grandfather's warning echoed in his mind.
At this point, the writer made it so that the next one could pick up with either tale; the next author is free to continue with either story.
Vlad then remembered that he was godlike - nothing could kill him except God Himself! So he rushed through, and slaughtered the Killer Kreatures.
But Caucus was one of Magykka's gods, and his "KILLER KREATURES" could do Vlad in as well.
Vlad glanced up and saw Tors walking on the ceiling. He stuck his tongue out.
"Cheater."
<^><^><^><^><^><^><^>
Aluk expanded into a large canoe, about 80 feet. The party of nine climbed aboard, with the dragons in human form.
"How do we steer?" Enquired Nikko. "I don't see any paddles..."
Suddenly, Aluk began moving of it's own accord, out into the Northern Seas.
"It's enchanted to take us to Noproe!" Gasped Eduardo.
And off they went.
They traveled onwards, as Pokyrah told them about one of the dangers of the sea
"Beware the sirens. They are close cousins of mermaids, but the key difference is that mermaids are friendly, and sirens are evil. Like mermaids, they have the lower body of a fish, but the upper body of a human woman. They use their alluring voices to sing, and force sailors to steer their ships towards the rocks; sinking their ships and inevitably killing them."
Heph and Nikko trembled at this thought. "Is anyone immune?" Helph asked.
"Flamethrower and Angel here, being dragons, are immune, as are our elf friends. And by training in certain arts grants me immunity to their spell. Heph and Nikko, the two of you are at risk."
Heph and Nikko gulped at this thought.
Meanwhile, Vlad entered a duel with Caucus.
"You will never leave the eighth circle!" he screamed. Just then, a snake began to wrap itself around Vlad's foot, and prepared to bite
"Vlad, NO!" Tors called out
Up on the surface, Flasky, who was still tagging along, felt hungry. He decided to feast, and Kokar would be his first victim...
Just then, a blue and green two-headed serpent appeared in front of them, screeching loudly.
"Do not fear, these serpents are friendly." Angel reassured them. "In fact, Moe and Joe are trying to warn us that... Oh no."
And Angel fainted.
"Angel? Angel!" Nikko said, trying to wake up the dragon. Pokyrah scanned the horizon
"There is something in this area..." and he concentrated, allowing him to enter a state where he could sense all life forms within several hundred yards of where he stood
"I see." He then turned to the others... "be careful, there is more to these seas than meets the eye."
Then they saw something begin to surface
It was... the Beast spoken about in Revelation!
"So Vlad won't be the world ruler after all? Or is it a sign?"
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 21:22:34 GMT -5
Hope everyone's doing fine, because up next is Page 9:
"The beast!"
Heph took out his field journal and identified the monster
"No, that's not the beast."
Everyone let out a sigh of relief
"It's the kraken!"
Everyone screamed
"Speaking of which, where is Vlad?
Back in the underworld, Caucus noticed the snake on Vlad's leg and smiled "it's over Vlad! One bite and you will be cursed to dwell among the thieves for eternity!"
"Huh?" Was all Vlad said before he saw the snake getting ready to bite
However, Vlad was not meant to die so soon. As soon as the snake touched him, it disintegrated, and didn't bite him! He was now safe.
Enraged at this sight, Caucus prepared to attack him
"This time, I will handle it myself!"
Meanwhile, Tors found the entrance to the sixth area
"Vlad, if you get passed Caucus, meet me over here!" He signaled
Unfortunately, he met this:
(Picture No Longer Available Online)
Quickly correcting himself, Tors found the actual entrance to the sixth area
"Don't worry, once we get in here, there aren't any demons guarding it!" He observed
The hypocrites walked around wearing heavy lead cloaks; so the next area would literally be a walk to the other side.
But now, Blad was dealing with Caucus
"You will return to the traitors!" He yelled as his blade met Vlad's
Back on the surface, the crew of Aluk were dealing with the Kraken. Suddenly, Flasky leapt out at them!
Below ground, things were looking dire for future Vlad.
Caucus had him in a corner; He was about to strike!
"Go back where you belong, scum!" As he prepared to strike. Vlad had to think fast!
Meanwhile our heroes...
had been eaten alive. Yup. Sad but true, ain't it?
Meanwhile,
Within the gut of the creature, it suddenly felt very uncomfortable. It literally exploded as our heroes were ejected from the beast and would up landing... exactly where they needed to be.
Down in the Underworld, deciding that this part of the story had dragged on long enough, Vlad took advantage of an opening and with Tors entered the sixth area. They found many souls waking around wearing lead cloaks.
"So... these are the souls of the hypocrites?" Tors observed
"Yes... the weight of their false words now forever weighs them down." Vlad observed. With no real threats here, Vlad and Tors proceeded to enter the fifth area.
"Corrupt politicians, stuck in boiling pitch... how appropriate." Vlad quipped.
Vlad and Tors tried to get to the fourth area. To their horror, they wound up getting stuck in the pitch.
"Oh great, now I suppose this is the part where I gotta fight the Malebranche demons."
"Who are the Malebranche?" Tors asked. Just then, demons began flying towards them, screaming "Caucus told us everything; you won't be getting away this time!"
"That would be them." Vlad concluded, as he tried to raise his weapon.
He did so, and the whole world fell dead.
Vlad was shocked.
"It must be a magic weapon!" he cried.
But since this was the Underworld, souls re-manifested seconds later.
"Oh right... THIS is where they end up" Vlad realized. But since the Demons had no souls, they were destroyed.
Tors felt the surroundings "I'm afraid that blast was not as powerful as you think... only the demons in this area were destroyed."
Vlad just looked down at his legs "We can talk about that later; any ideas for how to get out of this boiling pitch?"
"I'm trying, but I think we're only making it worse." Tors said.
Vlad could just make out the entrance to the fourth area in the distance... if only they could get out of the pitch.
Meanwhile, in the land of Magykka proper, the kraken, which spoke in an Australian accent for some reason, was facing off with the two-headed serpent (I believe it's names were Moe and Joe). Meanwhile, the crew of Aluk had another problem. Flasky had returned to his vampirish instinct. Flamethrower and Angel switched to dragon form and retreated to a safe distance, as well as Twitter, but Heph, Nikko, Pokyrah, Eduardo, and Kokar were cornered.
Suddenly, Eduardo and Kokar charged at Flasky, knives drawn.
"This is for our brother, bloodbreath!"
So Flasky...
Lunged towards them...
Meanwhile, on a ship in the middle of the ocean...
"Eli... wake up... I have a message for you", this was said by a mysterious floating woman
"Who are you?", responded this new character
the woman responded, "Destiny... Not really, but you must find the 37th Chosen One and help him on his quest... he is requires your assistance... go seek him out now!", and with that the woman disappeared
A man came rushing in and asked, "Captain, what was that noise just then?"
"Nothing Mr. Brown... Ready a boat for me, I'm leaving the ship for a bit", responded Eli
"But Captain where would we go?, asked Brown
"Dock in Pirate's Bay... ALL of you, I'll come get you when the time was right", replied Eli
Brown responded, "Yes Captain Lee", and with that, Eli left his ship and set sail to find Heph.
The man you just met is Captain Eli Zanzibar Lee, Captain of the Zanzibar Pirates, and they make up a Pirate fleet of 5600. Nicknamed the "Drunken Zanzibar" for his fighting style of drinking booze to gain energy during a fight, he is considered the closest thing to Pirate King, and his help is going to give Heph & Co. a whole lot of power for the future.
Anyways, Flasky...
Ran full speed into a conveniently placed post and knocked himself out.
"Well, that happened..." said Nikko.
Suddenly, a huge ship loomed beside them.
"This is Julius Caesar, captain of the Roman Legion! Prepare to be boarded!" A voice from the ship boomed, simultaneously revealing the approximate time this takes place in and scaring everyone on the boat.
Flasky smelled the sweet aroma of the Roman's blood and jumped onto their ship and "went to town" on the soldiers. Julius Caesar got away on another boat and went back to Rome.
Then our heroes finally spotted land and when they pulled their ship ashore they saw...
Not much: it was a small, hilly island, with a few trees and a cave. The boat had shrunk back to driftwood form and was now inching towards the cave.
"Noproe must be in there," said Heph.
Clutching the Sword of Destiny, he crept into the cave.
Meanwhile, Elmo in Beast Form was enjoying free reign over Maggyka. With no Heph or Vlad to stand in his way, the Beast had decimated the trolls, centuars, Orikari, and dragons, and was now attacking the dwarf kingdom. That is, until one brave warrior dared to challenge his might...
By pointing out that Elmo was killed by Vlad some time ago "Back on page ten" and there was no way he could be in the living world at this point.
(Note: The amount of pages fluctuates when readjusting the post count on each page, so at the time this was located on a different page, but was copied from Page 9.)
"Oh dear." And Elmo was transported back into the Underworld
Meanwhile, Vlad and his companion had finally gotten out of the boiling pitch and made it to the fourth area of the underworld. The evil sorcerers and astrologers were here, and their heads on backwards, forcing them to walk backwards.
"Ah, how appropriate. For in trying to see the future in looking ahead, now they can only see behind them." Vlad remarked. Their walk through here was rather simple, then they reached the third area. Those who committed Simony were now submerged head first in to the rock as the soles of their feet were burned.
"Interesting; those in the church who gave away positions in exchange for money are now submerged in pits which look quite similar to baptismal fonts" he observed.
They then walked through the second area, where the flatterers were steeped in human excrement.
"Huh? Why human excrement?" Vlad's companion asked
"Represents the words they used to exploit others." Vlad explained.
It was a long journey, but now only the first area remained, then Vlad could proceed from the eighth circle to the first circle. The panderers and seducers were forced to march while demons whipped them.
"Ah, they drove others to do their bidding, now they themselves are being driven?" Vlad's companion asked
"Indeed; good to see you are catching on now." Vlad observed
But several of the Demons spotted Vlad. "You're journey ends here Vlad! We're sending you back to the bottom!" They yelled as they charged in
"brilliant; here we go again." Vlad muttered as he prepared for battle
Meanwhile in the living world...
Eli had no idea where he was going...
"That mysterious lady really should have told me where to go, if only there was a sign to point me the right way", he said to himself
Suddenly he spotted seagulls, and seagulls meant nearby land and so he pulled ashore to the island our heroes had landed previously
He saw Heph and Co. running from...
A massive creature, 30 feet tall with a horrid horned face. Heph was trying to attack with the Sword of Destiny, but failing dismally.
Eduardo ran towards Eli. "Get off the island! That Beranga Beast will kill you!"
Eli shrugged at the remark, took a drink of rum, threw a harpoon he had brought with him at the monster, and pulled the monster's face into the dirt by a rope attached to the Harpoon.
"It seems I killed It", Eli responded
"Who are you?", Nikko asked
"I'm Captain Eli Zanzibar Lee of the Zanizbar Pirates, and I'm here to help Heph on his quest", he replied
Our heroes just left it at that, so the gang, plus Eli, went to go find Noproe
Meanwhile, in the darkest dungeon on Crowder,
Noproe sat, as he had for the past 20 years.
Suddenly, he felt a magical signal; Aluk was here. Could this mean...
Suddenly, there was a primal roar. Whoever was bringing Aluk was being attacked by the Folshwin Monster!
Meanwhile, Vlad had found his way out of the Underworld. It had been foretold that whoever escaped would soon rule the world. Vlad inhaled the sweet smell of fresh air. He was back, and the world was his.
The Folshwin Monster...
(Wait, we didn't finish his escape saga; don't worry, the rings are a lot smaller from here on out)
But Vlad had been tricked; demons had hypnotized him to go back the way he came by making him think that it was a shortcut. His traveling companion snapped him out of it, and they made it to the seventh circle.
Vlad's grandfather reappeared "well done. Now you must go through the seventh circle: violence. It's divided into three sections:
Outer ring: the violent against God and nature. It is a desert of flaming sand.
Middle ring: violent against self. Some souls were turned into thorny bushes and trees, and feasted upon by harpies, others are chased by ferocious dogs
Outer ring: violent against property and people. They are submerged in the river Phlegethon, composed of boiling blood and fire. They are guarded by Centuars who shoot arrows.
"I will meet you at the fifth ring." Vlad's grandfather said as he disappeared.
Vlad and his companion had no problem getting through the outer ring... But they soon found themselves surrounded by harpies and dogs in the middle ring.
"Looks like time to battle again". Vlad said as he raised his weapon.
Vlad grabbed the sceptre, but suddenly, a soul grabbed him and pulled him away.
"What! No!"
"Relax, future world ruler. I merely intend to give you advice."
"Okay, what?"
"The Spectre Of Death you are wielding is one of many Weapons of War. There is also a Scythe of Darkness, Spear of Terror, Staff of Strife, and Halberd of Intolerance, as well as several that are lost. By gathering these together, you will be unstoppable. But be cautious. Only one can wield each weapon, so you may be forced to ally with some people. Also be wary of the Weapons of Peace and their Wielders: the Sword of Destiny, the Club of Truth, the Ax of Light, the Bow of Strength, the Naguda (weird hammer thingy) of Integrity, and probably some more. Also, you have inherited the powers of Vigaga, the greatest evil ruler ever to live. Use that power well. Oh, and here's a thing that will help you escape the underworld. It's like a necklace. Put it on."
And with that, he dropped him back into Dante's Inferno.
Meanwhile, Heph, who had no idea just what his sword really was, was fighting the Folshwin Monster.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 5, 2016 21:40:04 GMT -5
Great Work Tug; looks like at this point, we have slightly more than half of the game saved here.
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 21:45:04 GMT -5
Alright I'm done with the rhymes, for now, but anyways, here's Page 10:
"Get back, you beast!" he yelled, but suddenly, it swiped its tail at him, knocking it over. It opened its mouth to kill him...
As Vlad struggled through Dante's Inferno, he felt glad that he'd read the book.
He fought ferociously against the harpies and dogs, all the While Tors was looking for an opening.
Though every time he hit a tree or bush, he heard a scream
"Vlad! What's the deal with these trees?"
"They contain the souls of the violent against self; suicides, if you will."
"Suicide sends you to hell?!" Tors asked
"I think it's situation-based actually, but that is not important! Remember, its the metaphor that counts." Vlad pointed out as he continued to fight; all the while getting closer to the outer ring. At last they reached the Phlegethon River... and were greeted by the Centaurs.
"Oh, brilliant." Vlad said as a couple hundred arrows or so flew at him.
He saw a shield, and a split second before they could hit him, he picked it up, and it protected him.
In the distance, he could see demons singing "Rock You To Hell", "Hell Awaits", and "Highway To Hell".
"Idiots," thought Vlad.
Suddenly, he saw the opening. He rushed forward...
He fought bravely, until a couple centaurs grabbed him and threw him into the river of boiling blood and fire! Vlad's will was the only thing that kept him from sinking deeper than his legs
"I've come this far; and you're not going to stop me from getting to the sixth circle!" Vlad declared as he went to get out of the river; the centaurs aimed their arrows.
"You can do it grandson." Vlad's grandfather said; as he looked down from the sixth ring.
Vlad saw his chance. As the demons sang and danced, he grabbed a stone, pulled himself out, and swung himself out of the sixth ring... to freedom!
From the river, at least; but it was still one more step
Vlad's grandfather proceeded to inform him. "The next two rings you can get through rather easily; this ring, the heretics, are encased within flaming tombs, then in in the fifth ring lies the River Styx; where the anger lie; you will need to find Phlegyas to cross there though; I will meet you at the fourth ring" the grandfather said as he disappeared. Vlad and Tors then began moving through the maze of flaming tombs.
The passed by the heretics, who scowled at them, then came to the River Styx. Here they heard "Renegade" by Styx, but didn't see anyone.
Vlad looked at the souls of those consumed by anger; they fought each other in the swampy waters of the Styx.
Vlad and Tors scanned the river for any sign of Phlegyas and his skiff; but he was no where to be seen.
"I don't like it." Vlad said
"What do you mean?" Tors asked
"It's too easy; how could we have gone through two rings and not encountered any demon guards?" Vlad observed
"Well, the way that these rings are set up, there's no point for guards." Tors pointed out
"But I... We are trying to escape. Surely someone must've noticed by now..."
"SURPRISE!!" And a sword wielding demon sprang up and stabbed Vlad straight through the chest from behind.
"This is where your little journal ends, mortal!" The demon said as Tors stood there, shocked by what just happened.
"Wait; Vlad is already dead; how can he die again?" Tors asked
"Oh no, you misunderstand; this blade is merely meant to render him comatose, so when we return him to his proper place." The demon explained.
Again, Vlad's will proved strong, but he could feel his "soul body" going numb.
Vlad's grandfather observed everything "he's come so far; hopefully he will give me a little time before he returns." He thought
Vlad started to fall to the ground, and his soul went to Hell...
The demons laughed, "The ****ing idiot!" (Sorry for the cursation, but that's how demons are.) "He should've watched out!"
Then they jumped. "It can't be!" they cried.
For there was Vlad... alive!
"You tried to kill me, but I have the last laugh!" he roared, and slashed their heads off, sending the demons to Hell...
Vlad grabbed Tors, "Come on! There's the door to the upperworld!"
They raced forward. The demons now feared Vlad, and didn't stop him.
They opened the door. Vlad inhaled the sweet smell of fresh air. He was back, and the world was his.
Meanwhile, Heph...
Was continuing his battle; so we shouldn't interrupt him
Vlad enjoyed the fresh air, but he heard a familiar voice in the back of his head.
"Vlad; behind you!" Vlad turned around to see a hand grab him; it was king Minos. He dragged Vlad back down and warned him
"You will never return!" He declared, as he cast Vlad back down, and tors not far behind. But this Time, Vlad's grandfather caught them at the fourth ring; saving them a lot of trouble.
"Darn it! We were right there!" Vlad said.
"The underworld is a complicated place Vlad; the demons have many traps in place to keep you here; that door was yet another red herring; unfortunately you must go through all the rings to get to the gates." Vlad's grandfather stated
"Seriously?" Tors yelled
"All right; if I have to I will; that will show satan he can't keep me locked up here." Vlad stated
"This fourth ring is greed; there are two groups the souls are separated into; the avaricious into one, the prodigal into the other. They joust each other with great weights." The guard over the groups, Pluto, did not see the him and Vlad was able to get to the third ring with no problem.
"You are almost there Vlad. This third ring is home to the gluttonous; they lie in a vile slush produced by foul rain. And are guarded by Cerebrus. The second ring is where the lustful are; forever blown about by the winds of a violent storm. Finally, there is the first ring, limbo. Its actually not that bad here; we were good enough that we weren't sent to the lower rings, but bad enough that we weren't admitted to heaven. That is where I am Vlad" Grandfather said as he disappeared again.
"Final stretch." Tors said.
"So this whole time, grandfather was only able to appear to us as a projection." Vlad noticed
Tors nodded in agreement
"Tors; when we get to limbo, we're taking a very slight detour; there's someone I really should meet in person." Vlad decided
Tors knew what he meant.
So they marched forward, right into the greedy. They hated Vlad, for they wanted to rule the world themselves. "Get him!!" they roared.
"Get back in line!" A voice boomed, forcing the souls back to their jousting with heavy weights
"Who dares come to my domain?" Pluto said as he appeared in front of Vlad and Tors.
"P-Pluto?!" Tors said
"The mythical ruler of the underworld." Vlad added. "Well, one of them anyway." Vlad then quipped
"What was that?"
"Oh, well, we need to get through."
"Why?!"
"Because I am to rule the world, and..."
"Why, you are a man after my own heart! You may pass."
Vlad made it to the third ring, the gluttonous, and was almost disgusted with what he saw in from of him.
"Ok we just gotta avoid Cerebrus." Vlad said
"Who's Cerebrus?" Tors asked
"Guard dog of the underworld; three heads, tail that is a snake and each head is surrounded by a mane of snakes; can't miss him." Vlad asked. Tors then looked terrified, tapped Vlad's shoulder and turned around.
"That would be him". Vlad said as the three dog heads roared.
"Hi, Cerberus!" he called. The dog growled. Then Persephone, Hades's wife, walked up.
"That's a good dog, now," she said. The dog wagged his tail and licked her.
Vlad and Tors snuck away into the next ring...
The second ring, lust. The violent winds were even stronger than a hurricane. "They're too strong!" Tors said as he began to lose his footing
"Hold on!" called Vlad, and he grabbed both Tors and a rock. He swung them over, and they landed...
Near the outskirts of a the first ring. Limbo was... Rather peaceful actually. Green plains, and a massive castle with seven doors
"Ah, the seven virtues" Vlad observed.
"Where now?" Tors asked
"Hold on, there is something I need to do" Vlad told tors; and he went to find the spirit of his grandfather.
"Halt!" said a voice. The two men turned.
"I'm afraid that you cannot disturb these men."
"But I have to find my grandfather."
"Limbo is a place of peace for the dead, and no humans are allowed to be with the dead. I'm sorry, but that's the rules."
"Wait a minute; YOU'RE my grandfather!"
"That's right, Vlad," he said, but then disappeared.
Vlad had seen his grandfather, so he was now okay.
The two exited the Underworld.
Vlad took in the sweet smell of fresh air. The world was now his, as was foretold. He would rule the world.
As for Heph,
He was finally winning his fight.
But Vlad now had one last obstacle to overcome. He found he could not interact with the world around him. Tors explained
"We have our humanity back, but since your body was cremated as soon as you died, and I have been dead 390 years, we only exist in the astral plane. We need bodies to get back to the physical plane."
"Don't worry, I know a guy." Vlad said as they began to make tracks.
Meanwhile, Heph was still in battle.
The beast swung it's tail...
Vlad and Tors went to an extraordinarily handsome guy, with his very pretty girlfriend. "I'll take the man, and you take the woman."
"The woman! Why?"
"Trust me."
The entered the bodies. Slowly but surely, the man's features changed, so that he looked exactly like Vlad did. The same happened with Tors and the woman.
"Now," said Vlad, "Let's tell the world that we're back."
"Where do we start?" Tors asked. Quite literally, they had to start over from the ground up.
"We'll just go to the TV Station. After all, I was President of the United Nations of United Peoples, so they'll know me. I guarantee you that you'll want to see their faces."
"what's a TV station?"
*doesn't this take place in medieval times?
(Not anymore, Razz )
"Oh, I forgot that you've been dead for so long. Come on, I'll show you."
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 22:00:24 GMT -5
I hope you people are ready because Page 11 is now up:
The writer was now confused
"Wait, With blacksmiths, dragons, castles, knights and elders, how is this not medieval times?"
So he decided to calm down and continue writing the story, to see where it would go.
(They were living in a land that wanted to preserve medieval history.)
They got to the TV Station.
They met someone outside the station.
"Hey, I know you! You're Vlad! Leader of the Coordinated United Terrifying Evil-doers Supreme! Can I join you? I'd love to be a CUTIE!
...wait, I thought you died?"
"I did, but I came back to life."
"Oh my gosh!" cried the man, who dropped to his knees.
"And anyway," said Vlad, "I'm abolishing the CUTIES and the KNUCKLEHEADS, and making the One World Empire, with the One World Army."
They entered the TV Station.
But the knuckleheads were not under Vlad's authority, so he couldn't abolish them.
So Vlad made the announcement that the world was his... But no one took it seriously and life continued as normal.
Meanwhile, Heph's battle was reaching its climax
He swung his sword...
Tors facepalmed. He shouldn't have been daydreaming about Vlad making his announcement.
The people at the TV Station were shocked to see Vlad. The UN president, who was there, jumped. "Why, I thought you were dead!"
"I was, but I came back to life."
It was announced that Vlad had come back to life, and everyone now thought that Vlad must be a god. Thus, they put him in charge of both the KNUCKLEHEADS and the UN. He abolished both, and turned them into the One World Army, and the One World Empire, respectively. He got every nation to work together, to make the world a 'one world nation'. He now ruled the world.
Heph...
was winning his battle.
Suddenly Vlad realized he was in the future, and was so used to being king there that he didn't even realize the change and neither did his people. It seemed his ordeal through escaping the Underworld had taken him centuries, so he grabbed Tors and went to his Castle to find the top scientists. They found another time machine that had been built and went back to the past to go take it over and stop Heph.
Meanwhile Heph...
won. Finally.
He rushed in and found Noproe.
"I brought your boat!" He said, handing him the piece of wood that turned into Aluk.
Noproe stared at Aluk for a while, turning it over in his hands, before finally...
jumping up and giving him a hug.
Meanwhile, Vlad
Had returned to his proper time period... The quest for Heph would be long, grueling and terrifying.
Vlad ran forward to begin his quest.
"I'll wipe that dog off the face of the earth," he grinned, and rode away.
Meanwhile, Samarkand...
Was minding his one business when a man and a woman walked up to him and pinned him to the wall.
"Where are the weapons?", the man asked angrily
"I don't know?", he responded, scared. The mysterious dou, angered at this waste of time, left him alone.
What the didn't realize was that he was actually...
Dravini!
After Elmo's disappearance, the little goblin had nowhere to go. So he began seeking the Weapons of War. So far, all he had was the Spear of Terror, but it was enough.
He shot a lightning bolt at the duo. "Who are you two?"
"That doesn't matter to you, SLIME!" Said the woman in that creepy echoey horror movie voice.
The two rushed at each other...
Meanwhile, Heph and his party, plus Noproe, were speaking with the pirates.
"Hello there... Heph, is it? What do you want?"
Then Eli shouted, " I'm a pirate captain, but those aren't my men, my men are at Pirate's Bay, you're being deceived!"
Just then the "pirates" they were talking to turned out to be mercenaries sent by the remainder of Elmo's forces to kill Heph
Heph responded with...
Preparing to attack. The Pirates fired their flintlock pistols! Unfortunately for the Pirates, Their combination of poor range and lack of rifling made it nearly impossible to hit anything, and the bullets just whizzed by and around Heph and crew
Heph went on the offensive.
Meanwhile, Vlad...
Made it back to his proper time
"Now, where were we?" He said as he tried to figure out what his next move should be.
So he
Decided to look for Weapons before going after Heph
Meanwhile Heph and Co. had beat the mercenaries and had them tied up on the shore. they had come in a big ship that Heph's group couldn't work alone, so Eli had a plan.
Eli went up to the mercenaries and said, " Well gentlemen, we will be "confiscating" your ship now, but we're feeling merciful, so we want to take you with us. The only condition is you must work the entire time. You can stay here if you refuse, but I think that's when the monsters we defeated will come back, and will probably be hungry",
the mercenaries, scared at this last line, all volunteered to go.
Agreeing with Eli's advice, Heph decided to take his group, plus Noproe because he felt like finally leaving the island, to Pirate's Bay to reunite with Eli's forces. The gang of adventurers, and the mercenaries working the ship, set sail for the legendary bay.
Meanwhile...
Jarmz was feeling tired. He had just
Eaten a really bad sandwich
Meanwhile Heph and Co had spent nine days at sea and were almost at Pirate's Bay
"Just a little bit farther, let me launch the signal, then they won't shoot us when we get close to port", Eli said as he raised a blue and black flag.
When the men at the port saw this flag they allowed the ship to dock and when they saw Eli get off the ship with Heph, they all bowed down.
"Are they bowing to me?", Heph asked curiously
"No me", Eli replied, " they kinda call me the Pirate King or closest to being, the former King of Pirates left a great treasure, and I'm looking for it".
So the group left the docks and went further into the scum and villainy of the bay, and to a tavern called the Woodpile.
"He is where my crew lies, I want you to meet them", Eli said, so they group walked in onto a crowd of hundreds drinking and partying. When they saw Eli walk in, they shouted, "Captain!", and Eli, Heph, and the rest of the gang joined in on the celebration.
Meanwhile...
Dravini was approaching!
Disguised as a human, he wandered through the crowd, robbing people and slitting their throats without drawing attention to himself (truly, a lost art). He was there for one reason- kill Heph and take the Sword of Destiny!
Yes, I know that's two reasons. Sheesh.
Meanwhile, Vlad...
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 22:14:36 GMT -5
We're getting closer to the end, up next is Page 12: Was not in this part of the story * hey guys, I'm really confused right now, where are we in terms of the story? I'm not really sure myself, that's why I was switching things over to Vlad. (Razz) (Hold off on that Vlad Note for one moment) So after Eli introduced Heph and Co, to his merry band of misfit sailors, they partied through the night, and left Pirate's Bay the next morning. After sailing for nine days, the group finally arrived back in Magykya, and Eli departed from his loyal men yet again, to travel with Heph and his associates. So Heph decided to return to his home village to rest up and figure out what he should do next for his journey. Meanwhile Vlad.. was planning on how to rule the world. It was foretold and would come to pass – but how? But down below, things were not looking well at all for Vlad "So you do understand the terms of the agreement?" a demon was asking Elmo, Vlad's close ally whom he killed in cold blood. "Yes I do; that traitor deserves no life, no peace, nothing. He has what is coming to him, and I am willing to make sure his dream does not come true." "As you wish; in exchange for your soul's eternal entrapment here, so to will his be trapped down here." And the agreement was made. "This time Vlad, there is no escape" the demon said evilly. "Now hellhounds, go find him! The curse is in place... Vlad has been doomed." And the demonic creatures set off to find Vlad. Meanwhile, Heph had returned home, and decided that he earned some much needed rest, and went to bed. Others in his party did the same. They had no idea on what was to come... ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––——————————————————————————————————————— "So let me get this straight: A bunch of people were murdered here, and one of them was named 'Heph'?" "Yes, officer." "What kind of a person would name their child a bloody name like 'Heph'?" "Well, um–" "Never mind. Don't worry about it. Scotland Yard ALWAYS get the crook." Heph awoke from his dream "Hey, Pokyrah, what's a Scotland yard?" "No idea; go back to sleep, will you Heph?" He replied Heph shrugged and went back to sleep. In the morning the first to wake up was... Poll-ny-Chrink. No, I'm not talking about the lake at Culdee Fell. That lake was actually named after this Poll-ny-Chrink. She was a person who was with Heph's band of merry men, and was madly in love with him. Meanwhile, Vladimir Titanica was... Probably passed out drunk somewhere. Meanwhile, Heph, Nikko, Eduardo, Kokar, Pokyrah, Twitter, Angel, Flamethrower, Eli, and Noproe were having a discussion aboard Aluk. "Ok, so we have returned home to rest for a while, but we will eventually need a new course of action; any ideas?" Heph asked the others. "Yes," said Poll-ny-Chrink. "I say we... "Get Married!" "Ok, any ideas that relate to the topic at hand", said Heph "That wasn't a no!" Noproe said, "Be quiet for right now. Anyways I heard a legend of ancient weapons that could be used to help slay evil, like your Sword of Destiny, if we find them, they might be able to stop this Vlad you have to fight". "So do you know where they are?" "Nope" "Darn!" Meanwhile, Diesel 11 was... not in this story... but if you want to see D-11 in action, go to 3wsr.proboards.com to see D-11 in... well, it doesn't have a title, but it is one heck of a story. Now back to this one. Ladies and gentlemen, it is time for... the mid-season recap episode! Yes folks, it has been quite a journey these last twenty pages, so to avoid story confusion and recap what has happened so far, we're doing a recap episode to bring all our new readers up to date. And now, here's our host, the leader of the organization Knights Needed Universally for Coordinated Kombat, Leadership, Endurance and Hope, Experts in Attack and Defense, Edogog! "Thank you announcer! Yes folks it is a real pleasure to be here today. So let's recap what has happened so far. In the land of Magykka, there is an apprentice blacksmith named Heph, whose adventure starts with a strange dream involving running from a creature called the Wazalka. When he wakes up, he tells the Minister Pokyrah of his dream. Pokyrah realizes that the dream is a sign that a dark force is coming. And it would arrive once the 25 signs had come to pass. they were: 1. "First, all over town windows will shatter, yet no one will cast stones upon them" 2." Next, the call of the raven shall be heard, yet no birds will be in town" 3. "A fireplace will light, without anyone using flint or tinder 4. "The river will freeze solid, yet it is 75 degrees" 5. "Pigs will fly" 6. the eldest son of the seventh son will have his skin turn green 7. The seventh son of the eldest son will have his skin turn blue 8. A creature shall be born that will walk on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and three legs at night 9. A cow shall jump over the moon 10. The dog will laugh 11. The dish will run with the spoon 12. A mysterious stranger will enter town, asking only for rest and water 13. He will leave the next day 14. Locusts will ravage our crops for 3 days, yet when they are done, more crops will sprout 15. A horseman will ride through town, holding a torch 16. The sky itself will catch fire for 30 seconds... Yet no harm will befall anyone, even the birds 17) water will burn 18) all men in town will sleepwalk 19) a mysterious ringing will be heard through town, yet no source found 20) a leader will fall 21) another wil rise 22) a dove shall be seen With a raven 23) a pig will go to market 24) a riddle will appear in the river 25) 500 hours of darkness will cover the land "Well actually, it was 473 hours, but we say 500 so it sounds more dramatic" a voice said. Edogog looked excited "Ladies and gentlemen, our first guest for the night, Minister Pokyrah!" They then take seats on a set typcial to talk shows, with Edogog sitting behind a desk and Pokyrah sitting on a couch. "Good evening minister; glad to see you made it." "Well I wasn't going to miss this night for anything." "So, you go tell Heph the signs and then what?" "Well, as soon as I finished explaining them to Heph, the first three signs happened, and we told Nikko of the situation. Once the river froze solid, Heph and I took our chance to leave town." Pokyrah said. "Then what happened?" "we entered the story" two wood elves came on set as the audience applauded. "The wood elves Eduardo and Kokar everyone!" Edogog said as they came into the set. "So, you enter the story upon hearing of Heph, what happened after that?" Edogog asked. "Y 'ad sim eggnog. Gud fer the sool." "Um, just a minute here..." There was an awkward silence. "Anyway, we travelled the length and breadth of Magykka, but to no avail. No matter how hard we tried, the signs kept happening." Suddenly, in ran Dravini, who charged at Edogog with blades drawn. Meanwhile, in a cavern deep below the earth, a young demon named Mlak-lak found a Sapphire on the ground. "I like it." He said, picking it up. The malignant soul inside the the Sapphire quickly possessed Mlak-lak, using a dark blue energy to mutate him. "Haha, yes! It may be a couple story arcs before I reach the surface, but when I do, I'll possess all life on Earth! The Spectre is not just a legend anymore!" And with that, we return to our mid-season recap, with special guest Dravini, who is hunting down Heph at the orders of his master Elmo the Beast, who, unbeknownst to Dravini, was killed by Vlad, a reincarnation of the Dark Lord Vigaga and our overarching villain. Take it away, Dravini! "Thank you Edogog; well, my job was to hide in the shadows, and keep an eye on the heroes; to strike at just the right moment; but as each sign happened, I knew time was limited" "Speaking of which" Edogog said, let's take a look at a clip from this time now:" But they did breathe a sigh of relief "well, at least all of us are male; there's no way any of us could birth a creature that walks on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and there legs at night." "Yes, that's true." Pokyrah said. "But what could this creature be?" The elves said. Regretfully they hadn't heard the narrator say "babies" Heph thought about it "I know! It's a tiger-gorilla hybrid with an extendable third leg!" The others just stared at him. "Think about it; in tiger mode it's four legged, but in gorilla mode it's two legged. Then while in gorilla mode, it can bring out its extendable third leg." The others stared at him "THAT IS THE MOST ABSURD THING WE HAVE EVER HEARD!!!" All three screamed together "Do you have any ideas?" Heph replied. So they began to think. The audience applauded as the clip came to an end. "To be fair; I had never heard that riddle before, so I hadn't thought of man" Heph said as he entered the room. "Ladies and gentlemen, the protagonist of our story, Heph, the apprentice blacksmith!" The audience cheered as he went to take his seat. "So, what happened after the baby was born?" Edogog asked "Well, there was this scene involving three time travelers sent to kill Vlad as a baby" Dravini pointed out "but apparently those time travelers were killed before they could take action" he noted. "But then there was this wibbly wobbly tmey wimey thing and long story short, no one ended up dying" he finished. "I see, so what happened next?" Edogog asked. "Well, in the town where we were resting" Heph explained "we saw a cow jump over the moon and a dog laugh" "And I eventually returned, as the figure who asked for rest and water" Dravini pointed out. "And I was tied to a horse and ended up at Lord Elmo's castle" Heph explained. "then, after a lot of confusion, and Heph and Nikko being rescued from a bad spot by the deux ex machina, the whole crew was reunited in the forest thanks to a bunch of pegasi" Pokyrah explained. "Then we met a professional knife juggler" Heph explained "Knife juggler? How did that encounter go?" A curious Edogog asked (For the next person who is picking up; I left off at midway through page 4) "Well..." Meanwhile, Vlad was busy. He had been... Preparing for his appearance on the mid-season recap. He was due to appear in sbout 20 minutes. "Got my nice suit; I'm ready to go" he said. Back on set Heph was talking. "So then the knife juggler began his act, and that's when we realized; something was up with him." "What was it?" "Well, you see..." "Ready, Sir?" "Ready," replied Vlad. "So, anyway, the knife thrower turned out to be an elf who tried to kill us to prevent the signs from coming true, but then Future Vlad showed up to fight Elmo. We fled to the land of Darodia, but the signs just kept happening! Eventually, the 473 hours of darkness happened, but we slept through it. Then we fled to the Elf kingdom, where I found the Sword Of Destiny." "Tell us about the Sword of Destiny." "Well..." "Wait, what about me?!" Twitter said as he flew in. Edogog was excited "Ladies and gentlemen, Twitter the Phoenix!" As they cheered. "I helped them a few times, then they made it to the elf kingdom" he said Heph continued "anyway, I find the sword of destiny, and I felt drawn to it." He said "And here's the clip" Edogog said ... Heph picked up the sword. "By the power of Grayskull, I AM HE-MAN!!" He screamed ... The audience applauded "What was that about?" A confused Edogog asked. "Sir, your on." "Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce you to... Vladimir Titannica!" Just then, a producer whispered something into Edogog's ear. "Sorry folks, we made a slight error; it seems a couple pages were missing and we are actually not up to him yet; sorry for the confusion." A producer came up to Vlad "sorry about the confusion; you'll be on in 15 minutes" he explained. "Now where were we? Oh yes, Heph, what was that about when you grabbed the sword of Destiny?" Edogog asked. Suddenly the door burst open. "All right, everyone, you're under arrest!" "WHAT?!"
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 22:33:48 GMT -5
Almost done, please enjoy Page 13:
"For not using Colgate brand toothpaste!" As he holds up a tube of toothpaste. "Clean your mouth everyday with..."
"Not now! We're still in show!" Edogog yelled.
"Oh, sorry." The actor said as he backed off "But they are sponsoring us" he pointed out.
Heph rolled his eyes, "Anyway, to this day we remain confused by why I screamed that as soon as I picked up the sword. It meant that I was the chosen one of prophecy number 37" Heph explained.
"Number 37?" Edogog asked.
"Oh yea, there's hundreds of prophecies and legends that have been told throughout the ages, so much so that we had to write a book just to keep track of them" Heph explained.
"Ok, so you had the sword, then what happened?" Edogog asked
"We're not 100 percent sure. Supposedly Vlad attacked us, even though he had no interest in conquering the Elf Kingdom. But this was future Vlad, so I remembered a lesson on time travel I took, and threw future Vlad at past Vlad, who just so happened to be nearby, and they destroyed each other in a massive electrical discharge upon contact." Heph explained.
"But then apparently that was not Vlad at all, and we're still trying to figure out what happened" Pokyrah explained.
"Afterwards, we proceeded to head to the dragon wastelands; apparently I was to tame a dragon, then I would go retrieve some sort of magic wooden boat from a giant's bloodstream" Heph explained.
"And that is where we enter the story" as two more joined the couch.
"The dragons Angel and Flamethrower everyone! Just to clarify, this is their human forms, isn't that right?"
"Oh yes, as much as we'd love to show off our dragon forms, we wouldn't have been able to fit in the studio if we did" ad the audience laughed at that.
"Ok, so our heroes came to meet Flamethrower and Angel; what happened at that point?" Edogog asked.
"Well, they started to attack us, but we held our ground. We weren't going to let any bloodthirsty dragons get the best of uOUCH!"
Angel had just hit him on the head. "That did not happen!" she said. "Tell the real story!"
Pokyrah rubbed his head, and Flamethrower explained what happened next.
"Well, they had to prove their worth to us, and after a brief conflict, they proved worthy of us and we joined his party. Now Heph had his dragons, and we had a purpose in this world." Flamethrower explained.
"And this is the part where WE enter the story" Edogog said excitedly. "At this point, scouts from our organization had discovered all that happened, and the KNUCKLEHEADS had to take action immediately, for Vlad and Elmo were in cahoots and ready to strike, so we needed to attack first." Edogog explained. Then he gestured to just off stage "Are we ready now?" he asked into the microphone; the producer nodded. "Ok, now we can bring him out, here he is, the leader of Coordinated United Terrifying Evildoers Supreme, Vladimir Tilapia!" Edogog said.
"Vladimir Titannica!" He said as he walked in, now embarrassed.
"Don't look at me, it's what's on the cue card" Edogog said as he pointed just off stage to the stage hand holding the giant cue card.
Vlad walked over, and torched the cue card.
"You still realize I'm trying to kill you, right?" he said to Heph.
"Hey! No killing during the mid-season recap!" A producer called from off screen "or we will write you out of the Story Vlad" he warned.
So Vlad sat down as the recap continued.
"Well, eventually what happened was the KNUCKLEHEADS and CUTIES met in combat, with the heroes siding with the knuckleheads. In a surprising twist, Elmo was killed in battle." Nikko explained.
"And here's the clip" Edogog said.
To our Heros surprise, Vlad was the one wielding the blade as Elmo was struck dead.
The audience gasped.
"Wow, what a twist; Vlad, why would you kill your co-conspirator and friend?" Edogog asked.
"You still don't realize, do you...?"
(Vlad is the most evil person on earth; all he cares for is power.)
"His triumph was very short lived though" Edogog pointed out. "For the very next day, this happened:" and the clip began.
"It's over Vlad... You're surrounded by Knuckleheads!!"
Vlad redied his blade... But then, the unbelievable
The spirit of Elmo, his closest friend and ally appeared, chanting "traitor...traitor...TRAITOR!!" Over and over. Vlad was terrified.
"No, you're dead! I...i..." But the next thing he knew, his very soul was pulled out of his body by Elmo, bringing them both to the underworld
At the end of the clip Edogog spoke again "And thus Vlad was pulled to the very center of Hell; frozen up to his neck in a frozen lake, the fate of all those who betray their brethren" Edogog explained.
"So what was going on with you at the time Heph?" Edogog asked, shifting the focus.
"Well, I..."
"Sorry folks, but we're going to have to take a quick break now. Stay tuned for more soon!"
----------------
When you want to save money on car insurance, you switch to Geico.
A lemming crawled to the top of Mount Everest. "I made it!" Then he ran off the side.
"When you're a lemming, you jump off cliffs. It's what you do. When you want to save 15% or more on car insurance, you switch to Geico. It's what you do." ________
We now return to the TSG halftime show.
"Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to more of ourrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.."
*Falls over*
"What happened?"
"This is what happened: it's a tranquilizer dart!"
"But who would do such a thing?"
Vlad smirked, and pressed the button as he walked out the door.
KABOOM!!
And then the screen paused as the audience applauded
"And that ladies and gentlemen is what would've happened, if we hadn't accounted for Vlad possibly doing something while the show was on. Every time he tried to attack us, he gets a 500,000 volt shock courtesy a special chip we put under his skin."
"What!? Why you little..." And Vlad tried to go after Edogog, only to get a massive shock and lose consciousness.
"Where were we? Ah, yes. Heph, so Vlad had just been defeated, what was your next quest?" Edogog asked.
Heph clutched his stomach. "You realize I haven't eaten for three days? I'm starving right here!" And he walked off to get a sandwich.
Heph came walking in, fuming. "I had steak and eggs for breakfast! Who made me do that?!"
A nervous background crew member suddenly ran out the door.
"As I was trying to say, what happened next Heph?"
"Well, now we had to go confront a giant, and get a magic piece of wood from his bloodstream." Heph said.
"Then what happened?"
"Well, then I—"
"Oop, looks like we're out of time, folks. Stay tuned till next week when the reunion show comes back!"
*Dun-dun-dun-dun!*
Meanwhile, Vlad....
Had fainted, and the producer who gave false instructions was arrested.
"For heavens sake, stop that; we already bought the air time, and we're not airing commercials; now stop getting out of character and recap the story! This is very important to the new readers!" the producer said.
"Sorry about that; won't happen again. Now then, Heph, you had to confront a giant; What happened next?" Edogog asked
"Well, we had to confront the giant, but we hadn't any energy to confront it in the western fields. So we went to a local tavern to grab a bite."
"And then what happened?" Edogog asked.
Just like the pied-piper led rats through the streets Dance like the marionettes swaying to the symphony Just like the pied-piper led rats through the streets Dance like the marionettes swaying to the sympony Swaying to the symphony of destruction
"I thought I told you to turn off the music!!"
"Sorry!"
"Now then, where were we?"
"We were in a tavern, instead of attacking a giant."
"Ah yes. What happened next?
"We had to find a vampire."
"Really? Why?"
"To suck your blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ah, very goot!"
Vlad licked his lips, and spotted Diesel 11, who had hired him, and he was still hungry.
But that got confusing, so we return to the reunion show.
"So what happened next?"
Well, a lot happened; Blad escaped from hell; we fought a giant, and so much more that we'll edit in on a later date because we need to move on with the story.
(We'll just edit it in later)
"Quite right folks; and we intend to start of the mid-season premier with a bang; so get ready here comes: it's worthy of a Michael Bay movie.
......
Vlad and his companion were planning there next move, to fulfill his quest to conquer the world, when suddenly they were surrounded by hellhounds.
"What? What is this?" Was all Vlad could say, before him and his companion were sucked out of the bodies they took over, and dragged back down to the underworld by the hellhounds. The couple, scared, ran off.
"What? No! I escaped!" He said. He was confronted by King Minos at the gates.
"Welcome back Vlad" he said with a grin.
"Let me go at once! It is my destiny to rule..."
"Nothing" Minos replied.
"What?" He replied.
"Things have changed. You see, your old friend Elmo struck a deal; In Exchange for his permanent entrapment here, so will you."
"I got out once; I can do it again!" But when he turned around, a force field of some sort prevented him from leaving.
"Sorry; the contract is in place, those are the rules. Just like how the dead can't return" Minos said.
In a climax worthy of some Michael Bay movie, giant chains formed around Vlad's neck and limbs, and dragged him down to the lowest circle. He would try to move, but only succeeded in being stopped by a force field.
"Hope you like it Vlad; I arranged it just for you!" Vlad looked over to see Elmo; laughing hysterically.
"I will have my revenge, so help me!!!" Vlad screamed.
Meanwhile on the surface, Heph and his allies continued with the quest. They were up to...
No good.
"So, we're going to break into the castle of the most powerful king in the world to get some loot for our pirate buddies?" Eduardo moaned.
"There's also some powerful magic items that are rightfully mine, and some you'll need if that Vlad guy ever comes back." Noproe replied.
"All right..."
"All right, so what's the plan?" Heph asked.
"First, we're going to sound off all our names for everyone who is here; because I've lost track of who is in this party at this point" Noproe said.
"I'm Eli Zanzibar Lee, Captain of the Zanzibar Pirates, asked to help Heph on his quest by a mysterious woman..." said Eli, the first to speak up...
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Post by Tug on Jun 5, 2016 22:47:43 GMT -5
Finally, the last page, currently, Page 14:
Heph, Nikko, Eduardo, Kokar, Pokyrah, Twitter, Flamethrower, Angel, Noproe, and Eli sounded off.
"I have devised a stratagem worth consideration," Twitter declared.
"Let's hear it" Heph said
"Alright. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Schlaviel Schlavisel Hosenpfeffer Incorporated.
We're gonna do it..."
Heph facepalmed.
Suddenly, Heph had a vision.
A dragon with a house on its back... massive centipedes marching through the forest... a great fortress in a lake of lava... a man with a silver finger... a man in black fighting a great horned beast... and lastly, a vision of a world without color, light and sound.
"This is your enemy." said an echoey female voice, and then Heph blacked out.
"Ambush! We're under attack!" Eduardo said.
"AHHHHHH!!"
Meanwhile, Vlad...
Was still in hell, where he belongs.
Anyway, the questers suddenly realized breaking into Caesar's Palace wasn't such a good idea.
"Now what!?" Nikko yelled.
"We need to figure out our next move- quickly everybody, put on your thinking hats!" Huph said. So everybody took out ridiculous and absurd looking hats.
"Huh, why haven't we used these yet?" Someone asked
"Why haven't you asked?" Replied another
"Wait! I've got it! 9028X^5%3.14Y/4AB+C^D÷5+T=4XYSTER^54!
"A method to synthesize hydrocephalus acid! Brilliant!"
"Hey isn't Heph still passed out?" pointed out Eli
"Oh crap he is!" shouted Nikko as he proceeded to slap Heph until he awoke...
Heph woke up, albeit a bit swollen for a hero of his stature but whatever, and proceeded to tell the group his dream...
"That's very interesting..." said Noproe
"Makes my stratagem pointless now..." replied Twitter
"It seems to be clues to our next adventure, maybe finding more ancient weapons of the heroes?" questioned Flamethrower...
"Whatever it is, I think we should get ready and gather some supplies, I have a feeling this might be a long one..." piped in Eduardo
Just then a sight for sore eyes entered the village, a couple of battered and beaten knights entered the village seeking shelter, some even looked as if they were walking corpses, and among those faces of the defeated was a face most of Heph's group knew well... Edogog!
"If that's Edogog, then that can only mean..." said Kokar as he was interrupted by Nikko...
"The KNUCLEHEADS!"
"Knuckle what?" asked Eli and Noproe before they were informed the coalition...
Anyways, they went to investigate the situation and interviewed Edogog of the situation...
"Edogog, what happened? Who did this to the KNUCKLEHEADS?" asked Heph
Edogog, now a shell of his former self, answered glumly, "While you were gone for a week or so, and rested all this while, a new evil arose to take Elmo and Vlad's places, he's a Lich King who leads armies of the dead and damned... Has creatures like demons, vampires, and monsters as his generals... His name is Lord Zhaggas..."
In life, this Lich was a familiar face... Julius Caesar! The wildly unsuccessful villain had come back to life after his assassination, with an ego to match his might.
Anyway, Team Heph and the KNUCKLEHEADS had a new foe, so they met to discuss the plan.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
You just dug yer own grave, boy.
What?
Shut up, I'm talking to Toz!
I don't get it...
*Facepalms* I'm a Julius Caesar fan.
Sorry, you lost me.
Of course I lost you, you're standing in quicksand with alligators about to eat you!
Wait, w
THE WRITER GRABS THE SCRIPT FROM DIESEL 11 AND KICKS HIM STRAIGHT OUT THE WINDOW
*Bonk!*
SCORE!!
That's 0 points Diesel and 10 points Writer
Er... let's just get back to the story, shall we...................................................................
The heroes met with the KNUCKLEHEADS to plan. But one of them was not pleased.
"Koordination? What's that?" Heph asked.
"It's when you, uh, koordinate."
"Whatever that means..."
_________________
And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is where the Story Game currently ends, stay to see more of Heph and his gang's journey either here or on the AGF, well currently it's up for debate, but anyways, find out the rest of the adventure... Eventually!!! *cough whenever we get around to it cough*
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Post by Toz76 on Jun 5, 2016 23:39:45 GMT -5
I vote we continue it here. In fact, I will continue it...
"So, we need to defeat Julius Ceaser, who is now a lich named Zhaggas?"
"Yes."
"Okay, got it."
Meanwhile, Tors was still floating about plotting to rescue Vlad when he spotted a masked figure running along the ground towards a small village. He sensed something familiar about this figure, so he swooped down to follow him.
The figure was Dravini, who had realized that his quest to kill Heph was stupid and retired to a quiet farming life. But he was about to be yanked back into action in the most painful way possible...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 5, 2016 23:55:24 GMT -5
Heph realized that his crew did not have a name. So he made an interesting proposal
"We are an order that keeps to the straight and narrow and fights for good. Heck, we are a grand order. What is also straight and narrow... A stick. Therefore, I propose that we be called... The Order of the Stick!" Heph said grandly.
"I like it". Nikko said.
"Everyone else?" Heph asked.
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Post by Tug on Jun 6, 2016 3:13:29 GMT -5
"As long as I get some booze in the Order, I don't give a crap about the name..." replied Eli with a swig of his flask
"I'm fine with it... But I wish it wasn't something so burnable..." spoke Twitter
"Agreed..." chimed in Flamethrower
"You two hush...It's not that bad, it's presentable atleast..." Angel huffed
"My Dragon likes it, so you guys have to like it too..." said Nikko
"Quiet Nikko, but yeah I'll have to agree it's not bad... Just... Ehhhh... Okay..." replied Pokyrah
"Hey, we could have been the 'Order of the Twig' it our leader was bad, or worse, than he already is..." said Eduardo
"Yeah that would be pretty pathetic.." Kokar responded with a sweat drop
"Well, it's certainly better than those dopes who call themselves RULERS..." spoke Noproe
"No the DOPES and the RULERS are the same, just conflicting opinions on naming their organization ..." said Eduardo
"What are you talking about?!?! I've been in a dungeon for who knows how many years, how should I know that?!? Plus, who even are these dopes you're talking about?!?" shouted a confused Noproe
"We wish we could tell you but, honestly, those guys really can't be explained..." dead panned Nikko when he was talking about the issues between Elmo and Vlad
Calm down guys! Anyways, it's settled then, from now on, we are hereby Independent Dashing Individuals Obliterating Terror Seekers... We are the IDIOTS! I'm an idiot, you're an idiot! We're all idiots!!" proclaimed Heph
"WHAT?!?!!?!" the rest of the group shouted in agony
"Just kidding... Today, we are hereby the 'Order of the Stick'! Unless you guys really want to be IDIOTS?" said Heph
"We're good..." everyone dead panned
"Alright, let's party! To the Order!" shouted Eli as he pulled barrels and bottles of booze out of nowhere, to everyone's shock, and proceeded to get hammered...
"That's it, no drinks for you for a while..." said Pokyrah as the crew proceeded to dump Eli's stash with him plastered on the ground under them...
"Hey, I was just getting started *hiccup*" replied Eli with his body being leaned to the side, like it should be when taking care of drunk people...
"Anyways, after we're done dealing with this guy's idiocy, what's are plan?" asked Kokar
"Well we should probably deal with Zhaggas, we should probably figure out a way to get stronger, since he seems to be on a level we can't dealing with currently..." answered Heph
"Maybe we should get some legendary weapons like your sword, or even unite all the scattered races under one army to defeat this guy *hiccup*" Eli somehow slurred out
"Hey, this drunken fool may be on to something..." said Nikko
"*hiccup* Well they don't call me the Drunken Zanzibar for nothing*hiccup*" answered Eli between breaths, "Now can I have more booze?*hiccup*"
"Like hell you can!" shouted the group
"Anyways, Noproe, Twitter, are they're more legendary weapons?" asked Heph
"Of course, we've only completed the first page of Prophet 37..." replied Noproe
"How many pages are there?" asked Pokyrah
"37 of course..." answered Twitter
"The rest of the group just facepalmed in response, except the now passed out Eli, over the ridiculously obvious answer...
"So what does the next page say then, that should be a good place to start?" asked Heph
Noproe responded, "Well it goes like..."
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Post by Toz76 on Jun 6, 2016 8:54:55 GMT -5
(Why are all your characters drunk all the time? ) "Then they go around to find four more weapon bearers- One within the trees beyond One within a faraway bog One deep underneath their feet And one that was amongst them all along." "Great, a riddle. I hate that." Pokyrah muttered.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 7, 2016 22:25:30 GMT -5
"Well, why don't we get some rest?" Heph suggested. "we must get some sleep now. Who will take the first watch?" Heph asked the others.
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