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Post by Tug on Jan 7, 2017 0:53:49 GMT -5
"No I think he probably killed Julius Caesar and that's why he's after us as an undead now..."
So anyway our Heroes decided to head out when the unbelievable happened, and old face returned once more, seeking vengeance, and that was...
The giant who had the boat in his bloodstream!
(You thought it was going to be Vlad, huh?)
Anyway, Femor, the Giant's name, got into an attack position, until...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jan 7, 2017 0:55:58 GMT -5
"Wait, this was a run over! Oh no, I'm going to be rendered non-canon!" Femor screamed in fear
Everyone else looked on in confusion
...........
In the real game, Femor slipped on a giant, randomly appearing banana peel.
"Gah! Where did that even come from?!" He screamed.
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Post by Tug on Jan 7, 2017 1:06:07 GMT -5
"Femor, what are you doing here?" asked Noproe
"Oh, Master Noproe, I didn't realize you were with this lot, I came to get the boat back that you entrusted me to hold for you, now that I see you've returned I'll gladly help them if you approve!" replied Femor
"Yeah they'll probably, key word probably, be able to slay all the evil, anyway, I remember on your job application to guard the boat you said the Giant Clan you belong to guards a sacred bow in the Beyonder Forest, isn't that right?" questioned Noproe
"Yes, we've been guarding it for centuries, every member knows it's location, they I'm the last one left, so it's probably been stolen since I left..." answered Femor
"Whatever, it's a decent tip to go off of... Come on guys, let's go get that bow..." said Heph as the group proceeded to head in that direction under the lead of Femor
"How plot convenient the Giant knew where one of the weapons was!" said Kokar
"Kokar, you got to stop saying these things, or else the karma will blindside you if your not careful" responded Eduardo
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Post by Toz76 on Jan 7, 2017 1:19:19 GMT -5
"Wait, Noproe, what's so special about that boat, anyway? Besides the whole "turn into an actual boat when it looks like driftwood" thing."
"I imbued it with a primitive intelligence using magic. Over time, this boat will develop a personality, and speak to us by making words appear on the deck."
《LIKE THIS》 appeared on the deck of the driftwood boat.
"I'm not letting this boat out of my sight from now on. It won't develop a personality inside a giant, now will it?"
So off they went.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jan 9, 2017 21:22:18 GMT -5
"Wait, so we're in a boat, sailing through a giant's bloodstream, to find some weapon that's also hidden inside the giant?" A very confused Heph asked.
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Post by Toz76 on Jan 9, 2017 23:29:23 GMT -5
"No, we already did that, now we're trying to find some legendary warriors." Noproe explained.
Meanwhile and far away, Dravini, the goblin who had been trying to kill Heph and co, had finally given up and returned home to his annoying cousin, Chico.
"Good god, boy, don't you ever shut up?"
"No!"
So Dravini decided to...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jan 29, 2017 21:58:55 GMT -5
Knock out Chico.
"Ah, peace and quiet" and Dravini decided to take a nap and rest.
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 16, 2017 0:23:03 GMT -5
As this is not working, let's do a time skip!
6 Months Later
A large lake of Lava once existed on Northern Magykka. It was there that Eiflassmew, the ancient fortress, resided. And now that the lava had solidified, the only way to access the raised pillar of stone where Eiflassmew was perched was by dragon.
Good thing Flamethrower and Angel exist, right?
Inside, Heph, Nikko, Eduardo, Kokar, Pokyrah, Noproe, Twitter, and Pol-ny-Chrink eked out a lovely existence, along with Hokum the dwarf, Redia the elf, and Darwik the Ori-Kari, all of whom were part of the prophecy we skipped because people had stopped posting. But things were getting bad. Julius Caesar Lich was gaining power, and rumors had it that Vlad/Vigaga was coming back, and bringing Elmo and Tors with him.
But none of that really mattered, because Eduardo had just invented something amazing. "I call it... the WHEEL."
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Post by Tug on Mar 17, 2017 1:01:41 GMT -5
Also, the party had split with Eli taking the Giant, Femor, as well as the boat and they were meeting up with Edogog with the remainder of the KNUCKLEHEADS, and Sal Brown, Eli's First Mate, and some of his pirate crew, to round out the forces...
"Alright guys, we're doing reconnaissance to get leads on Lord Zhaggasfor Heph and the rest of the party..." said Eli as he was interrupted
"Wait who's that?"
"Why are we doing reconnaissance?"
"Whatever happened to that Vlad guy?"
"Or that Elmo loser?"
"Wasn't Julius Caesar somewhere nearby?"
"I think he's a vampire now or something..."
"Oh, that Flasky guy was funny, we should bring him back..."
"Hasn't there been a goblin stalking us for the past few weeks?"
"Wait, why did we bring the Giant on a reconnaissance mission?"
"Everyone SHUT IT!" shouted Eli
Just then...
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 17, 2017 1:12:46 GMT -5
Flasky appeared.
"Haff you onions?" He asked.
"Um..."
"No?" The vampire asked with a quizzical head turn.
"Sorry..."
"Then you DIE!!!!"
And the funny guy leapt at them in anger.
But then, Dravini and Chico, who had indeed been stalking them, leapt down to attack!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 14, 2017 19:01:18 GMT -5
"Wait, who are we attacking?" Dravini asked.
"I don't know!" Chico said.
"Maybe we should start this scene over?" Dravini suggested.
"Okay."
So, the heroes were...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Dec 26, 2017 2:01:04 GMT -5
off on their continuing adventures... apparently to some lava pit or something.
"I know! I'll open the great book of Exposition and read from it. Legend says that if one opens the Great Book of Exposition, one can make sense of what he is doing and all becomes clear" Heph declared. So he took the book, opened it to a random page, and began reading aloud
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Post by Toz76 on Dec 26, 2017 16:24:37 GMT -5
"They have to stop Zhaggas, who's really Julius Caesar." Said the Great Book Of Exposition.
"That's all?" Heph asked.
"No, but the rest is all world-building stuff that doesn't really matter." Eduardo replied. "Now let's get on those dragons and find our enemy!"
Meanwhile, in his fortress, Zhaggas was planning. Did I say planning? I meant bitching.
"No one ever asks how I'm doing. No one ever says "see that handsome lich in the corner? I'd like to bone him, pun intended." It's just not fair."
His army of undead minions rolled their eyes.
"I know! I'll attack a town! That'll cheer me up and give me life energy to feed on."
So he attacked the town of Phyphyxlstyx, because continuity.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Dec 27, 2017 14:54:41 GMT -5
Our heroes continued on their way, traveling day and night, until they themselves came to Phyphyxlstyx, because plot acceleration.
"What the?! What happened here?" Heph said, shocked. There was nothing but a trail of destruction through the town. Then at last, they came to the town center where a small group of survivors was found, camping and huddled around the fire
"Should we ask them what happened?" Eduardo asked
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 18, 2018 18:27:17 GMT -5
"or... should we move on, since no one is interested in this sub plot?" Heph followed up with
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 18, 2018 19:54:06 GMT -5
"No, are you crazy? We're the heroes."
Eduardo walked over. "What happened?"
"It was a lich! He came from the Minotaur Caves beyond the Toxic Swamp and he wants to take over Magykka!"
"Welp, looks like we've got a quest!" Nikko said cheerfully.
"But what about these poor villagers?" Pokyrah asked. "Surely we should help rebuild the town?"
"Let us divide and conquer." Heph suggested.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Mar 18, 2018 20:02:19 GMT -5
"Seems fair enough- since you are blacksmiths, perhaps you can stay behind and forge some nails and tools?" Eduardo proposed to Heph and Nico
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Post by Toz76 on Mar 18, 2018 20:30:09 GMT -5
"I have the Sword of Destiny. If it comes down to combat, I'm needed.
"And I'm not leaving Heph behind." Nikko added. "Or letting him leave me behind."
"You don't even have a weapon." Twitter pointed out.
"Here's what we'll do." Noproe decided. "Heph, myself, Eli, the elves, Flamethrower, and the Phoenix will go on the journey. Pokyrah, Nikko, and Pol-Ny-Chrink will stay behind with Angel."
"But I must be with Heph!" Nikko and Pol-Ny-Chrink said simultaneously.
"I don't care. At least here you'll do something useful."
"What about Redia, Hokum, and Darwik?" Kokar asked.
"Ignore that post. That hasn't happened yet." Eduardo replied.
And so, in direct violation of the title of OOTS book 4, the party split.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jun 22, 2018 13:33:58 GMT -5
Pause
It occurs to me- will the story game have a place in our rebooted universe?
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Post by Toz76 on Jun 22, 2018 16:47:18 GMT -5
I hope so, or at least a modified form of it
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