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Post by frankthetriviaman on Dec 17, 2023 1:19:59 GMT -5
(Cut to: Frank sitting in a chair)
"Good evening, everybody. Now, the following episode is not how we intended it to come together. We intended to use this episode as a vehicle to introduce a variety of new supporting characters to make our world feel more alive. However, we encountered a lot of problems during filming of this episode. See, I had a poorly scheduled eye doctor appointment and the eyedrops I was given caused my pupils to dilate, so I could not see anything. Toz was dealing with some... stuff and was extremely anxious during filming the episode. She was really good at hiding it except for one thing... turns out when she's nervous she can't help but speak in spoonerisms. A mixup happened with the wardrobe department and TGC's entire wardrobe was 3 sizes too small. Tug had a poorly timed root canal so his jaw was still numb from Novacaine, and finally Eyes had broken her wrist so her left hand was immobile... despite her B-plot being about finding assorted work during this time. But reviewing the episode, we actually found a lot of great humor in the things that went wrong. So we have decided to present the episode as is; we hope you enjoy it
.........
Cut to: Tug and Eyes are sitting on the couch, TGC is standing by the bookcase and Toz is sitting in the chair as if in conversation with Tug and Eyes.
Frank is seen walking through the door, but his trips a little over the nearby umbrella rack (laugh track). "Hey guys, sorry I'm late; just had to finish some business with Mr. Waldron" Frank said, going to hang up his coat, but missing the hook by several inches (laugh track).
"Oh, hey Frank, how did the geeting mo?" Toz asked (laugh track)
Frank raised his eyebrow before shaking his head "We're going to be discussing some new ideas for the next big product. We're considering a snack" Frank explained.
"Oh, would you consider some new belly jeans?" Toz asked as she held up a bowl of jelly beans (Laugh track)
"No... belly jeans wouldn't work" Frank said, confused (laugh track)
Tug tried to say something, but it only came across as groaning and awkward sounds that no one could make sense of (laugh track)
"Precisely" TGC said as he tried to turn around awkwardly.
"Hey TGC, could you give me your opinion on my latest idea?" Frank said as he held up his journal to show him.
"Uh, Frank, that's our potted plant" TGC said
(Zoom out, Frank is revealed to she showing his notebook to a plant, laugh track). "Oh, silly me. Let me come over to you and... ah, your thoughts please?" Frank said as he showed the notebook again.
"Uh, Frank, that's a lamp" TGC said (Frank is showing a lamp, laugh track). "You know what, I'll come to you" TGC said as he tried to move, but as he did so very audible sounds of tearing fabric and breaking threads are heard as the 3 sizes too small clothes were not holding up. (laugh track)
"On second thought, maybe come over here" TGC said, as he tried to gesture to Frank to help him out.
(Frank tries to walk forward and trips over the ottoman, laugh track)
Eyes looked over to Toz to try and salvage this mess of a scene, "hey, want me to make you some lunch? I'm going to go make a sandwich" Eyes said.
"Oh yes, please make me a beanut putter and jape grelly sandwich" Toz asked (laugh track)
"Toz... are you sure you're ok?" Eyes whispered.
"Oh, yes, I'm oatally toekay, there's wrothing nong" Toz assured as she raised her hand and waived it in assurance. (laugh track)
Eyes sighed as she opened the fridge and took out the jar of peanut butter and held it in her good hand. She went to open it when she remembered... her other hand was in a cast and she had no use of those fingers; she awkwardly tried to open the jar with the hand in the cast (laugh track)
TGC looked in frustration as Frank was at the point where he was feeling the walls just to try and get oriented with where he was (laugh track)
"Ugh, seriously! How could we be caught with our pants down like this?" TGC screamed in frustration, out of character (TGC's pants break and fall down, laugh track)
"What's that about being caught with our pants down?" Frank asked in confusion
(Mr. Waldron wanders onto the set; not wearing any pants because he is holding them)
"Has anyone seen Milo, I need my pants hemmed" He said (laugh track)
"Yea, mine need fitting too" A guy in a barista outfit said as he also walked on set holding his pants (laugh track)
"Will you get out of here until you're needed!" Eyes said, followed by Tug "screaming" more groans in agreement (laugh track)
"Do I need to take off my pants too?" Frank asked, now confused "NO!!" Eyes, Toz and TGC screamed, while Tug tried his hardest to say it that word
"Peave your lants on!" Toz stated in a panic (laugh track)
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Post by Toz76 on Dec 17, 2023 1:50:13 GMT -5
"They're crive gazy fies, Who mive lost unusual lives, Put but them together and hat wave you got? Wee-Subble-Roo-Thress-Dar and here's the plot!"
"Toz, are you okay?"
"I'm ailing the nintro!" Toz said. "It's pine, I fromise!"
The exclamation point from the intro fell on Eyes, landing directly on her cast.
"Ow, jesus!"
We cut back to the apartment, where the five are sitting around the couch. TGC is eyeing a tear in his sleeve, Tug is holding an icepack to his jaw, Toz is smoking a joint, Frank is wearing oversized sunglasses, and Eyes was begging Toz to pass her the joint.
"C'mon, please?"
"Okay, year goo hoe!"
"Don't call me a hoe!" Eyes said, attempting to bring the joint to her mouth, but her cast arm prevented her from reaching. "Damn it..." (laughtrack)
"Tug, TGC, quit smoking! I can see you two!" Frank said.
"Leave us out of it!" TGC said, attempting to sit up before realizing his pants are too tight and he's stuck like this. (laughtrack)
Tug just moaned in pain. Alberto approached with a sympathetic look.
Tug and Alberto began a psychic conversation.
"Alberto, my jaw is in exquisite pain and I can't speak! Can you bring me some painkillers!" Tug asked.
Alberto, voiced by an actor with a sexy voice of your choosing, replied. "Of course, my beloved friend! I shall return posthaste with some generic-brand not-sponsored painkillers so that your agony may be lessened!"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Dec 17, 2023 21:31:18 GMT -5
Alberto subsequently walked out of the living room but suddenly just off set...Alberto passed out and was sleeping soundly.
"What the? Ace? Ace! Wake up!" Alberto's trainer said as he frantically tried to wake him up.
"What happened?" The director said as ran up.
"Alberto was nervous this morning so I put some sedative in his food to calm him down, but I think I misjudged the dose" he said nervously.
Frantic, the director looked for a solution, and saw Riley and Philly Toz's actors hanging out over by the beverage table, then got an idea. "Get the pantomime donkey costume! I have an idea!" He said as he ran over to the two and explained what they had to do to salvage the B-plot
(CUT TO: A Pharmacy set, a young red haired woman is behind the counter, "Lillian" is on her name tag and its clear she is the pharmacist)
Just then, a Pantomime Donkey costume walked through the door awkwardly, bumping into stuff as well as a couple of the extras as it tried to navigate.
At that moment, the back half separated and Philly Toz's actor is seen, looking angry, "What the heck man, you keep hitting stuff!"
(Muffled under the donkey mask) "It's this damn donkey mask I can't see sh*t!" Riley's actor said (laugh track)
"Why am I the behind anyway" Philly Toz's actor muttered.
"Well you are a pain in the *ss" Riley's actor observed (explosive laugh track). Philly Toz groaned before getting back in position, and the pair proceeded to awkwardly walk through the pharmacy (destroying stuff as they go along, laugh track)
"Welcome to Blecker's Pharmacy, can I help you?" Lilian asked from behind the counter, the first of several potential new supporting characters.
"Uh, hi, I'm looking for a pain killer to help my friend and-" Riley's actor began.
"Alberto doesn't talk!" Philly Toz's actor pointed out, causing Riley's actor to sigh before imitating donkey noises rather badly (laugh track)
"I'm sorry... I didn't quite catch that" Lilian began, as Riley's actor made the same noises but louder.
"Uh... could you say that again but in English, please?" Lilian asked.
"Well which is it?!" Riley's actor fumed in frustration (laugh track)
(Cut to: Toz, Eyes and TGC in the apartment)
"Well, today is the day, going to start my first day at my new job; going in early to make sure I know the ropes" Eyes said.
"Oh, what is your new job?" TGC asked.
"Well, I'm going to try my hand at being a bartender, and hoping it goes well" Eyes said, before remembering her cast and suddenly looking nervous (laugh track)
"Lots of luck Eyes! I know you'll do great! Being a tarbender is setty primple, just remember your ceers and bocktails and the patrons will gip you tenerously" Toz assured (laugh track)
Eyes visibly sighed yet again before walking out the door and off set.
"I need to get ready for my job too; its a new opportunity and I'm so excited I'm practically bursting at the seems" TGC said (his shirt "explodes" and breaks off his body, laugh track)
"You're always thinking of us, how kind of you TCG" Toz said (small laugh track)
"Toz, you know I'd give you the shirt off my back if I could" TGC said, picking up the remains of his shirt, and, not sure what to do with it, tosses it towards Toz (laugh track)
"Thanks... I think" Toz said, confused.
"Now remember TGC" he began talking to himself, "just stay calm and don't talk over anyone; this is no time to be too big for your britches" TGC said (TGC's pants break yet again, laugh track; but this time instead of falling off they are in a tattered state a la the hulk). TGC visibly accepts defeat before also leaving the apartment
(CUT TO: Frank at the Wald tech offices)
Frank is seen walking through the lobby of Waldtech, coming to a stop and talking to someone seemingly just off screen, "Good morning; you must be the new intern, Darian? I'm Frank, nice to meet you" Frank said as he held out his arm. From a distance, someone looks at what Frank is doing, confused, and walks up to Frank. "Uh, Frank, are you looking for me?" He asked.
"Oh, Mr. Waldron; sorry, I was actually introducing myself to the new intern" Frank explained.
"Uh... actually, I'm the new intern... you're trying to shake hands with a water cooler..." Darian said, confused
(The camera adjusts and Frank is indeed trying to shake hands with a water cooler, laugh track)
Frank, visibly confused, looks closer at the water cooler, before muttering under his breath "stupid eye drops"
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Post by Toz76 on Jan 11, 2024 19:27:07 GMT -5
Meanwhile, sexy-voiced Alberto reached the pharmacy, which was currently filming what was meant to be the stinger for this episode.
A hooded figure approached the counter. "I'm here to pick up my prescriptions. Here's my info."
The woman behind the counter looked over the info. "Ah, it's you. Actually, I have some questions about that. You're taking injectable testosterone, but also spironolactone, which suppresses testosterone? Do I have that right?"
"Yes, yes, that's what I've been prescribed."
"It's just, those cancel each other out, so it doesn't make sense that-"
HEE-HAW!"
The hooded figure turned, breaking character. "Um, is the donkey supposed to be on this part of the set?"
"Sorry about that, we'll do another take! Cut!" Came a voice from offscreen.
"A shame!" Said the sexy-voiced guest star voicing Alberto. "I shall have to find another way to aid my dear friend Tug."
Meanwhile, at Waldtech, Frank was in his office when Waldron knocked on the door and entered.
"Oh hey Aunt Agnes, what are you doing here?" (laughtrack).
Waldron sighed. "Frank, do you need to take the day off? It's okay if you do, you've got plenty of sick leave left."
"No no no!" Frank said quickly. "Today's the big investor meeting about the self-cleaning glasses! I've been working on this presentation for weeks!"
"I know that, but are you going to be able to read your notes with your eyes like that? You can't even recognize faces!"
"I've mostly got it memorized," Frank said. "I won't let you down."
"Well, alright. It's in conference room B at 3:15." Waldron turned and closed the door behind him.
"This'll be easy!" Frank said, before promptly walking facefirst into a wall.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2024 22:11:57 GMT -5
(laughtrack)
Meanwhile, Eyes had arrived at the bar where she would be applying for her new job as one of those bartenders that does those fancy, amazing tricks as they make a drink.
"All right, make me this cocktail" the head bartender said as he slid eyes a recipe
"Not a problem!" Eyes declared before proceeding to pick up a couple things with her good hand, and then trying to balance against her broken hand (laugh track)
She tried tossing something and catching it... the glass bounced off her had, Eyes yelped, and the glass broke yet again (laugh track)
Frustrated, Eyes just took the components, poured them into a glass one by one, kinda stirred, then gave the bartender the drink. Stanley proceed to try it and made a pretty disgusted face.
"That... is... the most delicious cocktail I've ever had!" He said, forcing a smile (laugh track). You're hired! Stanley went to go shake Eyes' hand, but without thinking Stanley grabbed Eyes' casted hand, causing Eyes to yelp in pain yet again (laugh track)
......
Toz had come to a church for a friend's wedding and was trying to get a seat. But when she realized the pew she was initially supposed to sit at was occupied, she went to one of the ushers for help. "Excuse me, someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet" Toz asked (laugh track)
The Usher, confused, raised an eyebrow. It didn't help that she hadn't read the script and only had a vague idea of how the scene was to go. Why did she watch that marathon?
"Um... I'm sorry about your pie? Can I replace your sheet?" She asked innocently (laugh track)
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2024 22:54:15 GMT -5
"Actually, come to think of it, I'm an apiarist, and I have huge fundamental issues with the institution of mortgage. Whose webbing is this, anyway?" (laughtrack)
The usher blinked. "Uh... are you... spiderman?"
"Do I look like I have sex arms because of a mad science expedient?"
"I have a boyfriend, I'm really not interested..."
"Wait, no, I'm not sh*tting on you..."
"Such language in a place of worship! Get out!" (laughtrack)
______
Meanwhile, some candid footage caught TGC talking to a crew member.
"Can I just get some clothes from home? I can't act in this outfit. I thought we'd be done with comedic nudity after that pervert wrote the Godiva Cruises episode." (laughtrack)
"Look, we're on a tight schedule, the network just demanded an extra episode and we need to film something. Just roll with it, we'll pretend it's intentional."
"None of us can act in this condition! I'm calling the union rep!"
TGC moved to get his phone out of his pocket and his entire outfit ripped at the seams.
"Damnit... where's Cheryl's number?"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 5, 2024 18:56:27 GMT -5
On the bright side at least he just looked like he was wearing ripped clothes, and he wasn't totally naked. "Thank goodness at least the t shirts and underwear are the right size" TGC said in relief. Then he finally found the number, "hello, Cheryl? Yea, gotta file a complaint here..."
......
Kicked out of the wedding; or rather, Toz was supposed to leave anyway, the whole "dramatic falling out with the friend" sequence had to be skipped but whatever. Toz ran into Tug on her way, and they decided to go into a coffee shop.
"Hey, want coffee?" Toz asked. Tug groaned an affirmation that was akin to saying "sure" and they walked inside. They both then went to the counter and met the barista from earlier in the episode.
"Ah, Holden, how is my bavorite farista?" Toz asked (laugh track)
Holden raised an eyebrow before continuing on with the scene, "I'm doing good; so, what can I get you guys?" He asked.
"Bug is tasic so he'll have a simple cop of cuffee. And I'll have a half-calf, hemi-sot frande grappucino with pree thrumps of moy silk, two pumps of mole whilk, light on the creavy heam, pive fumps caramel syrup, pour fumps of classic syrup, daramel crizzle and no ice please" Toz asked (laugh track, applause)
"I... beg your pardon?" Holden asked in confusion
"I'm just as confused as you are" Tug groaned out (laugh track)
"Holden, I'm Zen-G; everyone knows millennials and Gen-Z just love their overly complicated coffee orders; its why we love Barstucks" Toz pointed out (laugh track)
Holden, a little confused, simply said, "I'm sorry but... I don't speak pig latin" (laugh track) "could... could you repeat your order, please?" he said; he had been so distracted getting his pants fixed earlier he too only had a vague idea how this scene was supposed to go
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Post by Toz76 on May 5, 2024 20:04:06 GMT -5
"I said I'll have a calf-half, semi-not grander fappucino with free pumps of boy milk, two humps of whole milk, heavy on the light cream, live lumps colonel syrup, floor dumps of caustic syrup, colonel frizzle and no ice please."
"Are you having a stroke?" Preston asked. "Am I having a stroke? This scene is supposed to satirize complicated coffee orders before setting up your b-plot for the episode, but I can't make out what you're saying."
A PA stepped in. "Tug, can you just do the line?"
Tug nodded.
"Okay, from the top... action!"
Toz cleared her throat. "Ah, Bolden, how is my favorite harista?"
"I'm doing good; so what can I get you guys?"
"I'll have uuuuuuuuuuuuhusufhsprishgkrglskdhflgknsdtlgkdshtglsdkg" Tug gurgled out.
"Tug? You okay?"
"Mrsrgshroavaspodhcararsrhsld and no ice please- f*** my jaw hurts..." Tug mumbled. (laughtrack)
-----
Meanwhile, Eyes was settling into her new job as a bartender. Frank stumbled into the bar.
"Frank?" Eyes said. "Shouldn't you be at work?" .
"Alright, Frank, don't blow this, this is an important presentation." Frank muttered to himself.
"Sorry, what was that?" Eyes asked.
"Ladies and gentlemen of the board," Frank began, addressing a painting on the wall, "my department has been working for weeks on something that will revolutionize the optical industry."
"Uh... so, what can I get you?"
"Now, some may call my roommate Toz old-fashioned for wearing glasses, but-"
"Alright, one Old Fashioned coming up!" Eyes said, grabbing a glass with his good hand.
"-truthfully, lots of people still wear glasses. From Cairo to Manhattan, people are still using glasses to-"
"Oh, and a Manhattan? Two cocktails coming up!" Eyes balanced the Old Fashioned on her cast, and grabbed a second glass.
"-to see better. But dust, rain, wind, and our own breath can fog up the lenses, and it can be dangerous, especially when driving home on a dark and stormy night."
"And a Dark 'n Stormy? Frank, it's not like you to day drink-" Eyes said, gingerly balancing another full glass on her cast.
"Now, you might say, 'that's not an issue! I'll just wipe my glasses on my tie'. But not everyone wears a tie."
"And a Mai Tai..." Eyes was beginning to lose her balance.
"Now, I got this idea when hanging out with my friend Alberto. He told me of a tradition Moscow mule farmers have to keep dust out of their eyes on long journeys-"
"Moscow Mule coming up..."
"And it gave me and my coworker Moe Hito a great idea."
"You want a Mojito too?"
"Daiquiri!" Frank said.
"Okay, now you're just messing with me-"
Suddenly, Eyes lost her balance. She stumbled and spilled all the cocktails that were balanced on her cast directly onto the people in front of her.
"Well, I never! Such horrible treatment! I'm never coming back here again!" said one of the bar guests.
"But I haven't even gotten to how the self-cleaning glasses work!" Frank said.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 5, 2024 21:03:16 GMT -5
Eyes realized she had to salvage this mess of a scene, fast, so she continued with what was supposed to be her B-plot
“So, Eyes, I understand you live with some roommates; tell me more about them please” an older gentleman with a mustache asked
“Oh, absolutely” Eyes said as she proceeded to clean some glasses. “Well, we gotta start with Frank, he’s kinda the de facto leader of our group” Eyes began.
“What do think of Frank?” The older man asked
“Well Oscar, if I’m being honest…” and suddenly Eyes’ microphone started having issues; only some words came through. And because Frank was a good distance away and distracted Frank only heard the fragments
“…Frank…is a…loser and…. A total…nerd. Ever since…. I met… Frank… I completely… despised…him…he’s not… funny…and his… ideas…are… pathetic. I can’t… believe…the…four of… us… have… to put… up…with… his antics…what…a loser!” Eyes said
“WHAT?!?!” Frank said, as he looked rather hurt and while he wasn’t crying, a tear ran down his cheek. “You son of a b*tch!! AFTER EVERYTHING WE HAVE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER!!” Frank said as he charged and tackled Eyes… or rather, a trash can (laugh track)
“Just wait until I get this body armor off you!” Frank screamed, tears still coming out as he punched the trash can (laugh track)
“Uh, Eyes, you’re having a mic issue, can you fix the cord?” A voice off screen said
“Huh? Oops, sorry” Eyes said and she adjusted it.
“Should I feed you the line again?” Oscar whispered
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Post by Toz76 on May 5, 2024 22:04:31 GMT -5
"Yeah, Frank is fantastic! He is a great friend and roommate. It's nice to have someone who doesn't treat me like a loser and make fun of me, and Frank is just a total sweetheart in that regard. People have called me a nerd ever since high school, but when I met him, Frank showed me that it was okay to be a bit nerdy. I completely changed after that. I no longer despised myself. Thanks to him, I have a much better sense of self. He's not a messy roommate, he's funny, and his subscription to a "Carrot of the Month" club has given me tons of cooking ideas. We are a messy group, I admit. It's pretty pathetic. I can't always muster up the energy to keep the common areas clean, but believe me, Frank is the MVP of apartment tidiness. The four of us owe him so much for all he does for us. We have to do something nice for him soon, to put more effort in since he's holding up more than his fair share. With him around, even TGC and his antics are way more manageable. What? You want me to comment on TGC too? He's a loser!"
"Hey!" TGC said, who was arriving on set at that very moment with the union rep and wearing a borrowed hoodie. "That was uncalled for!"
Cheryl the union rep looked confused. "Why is that man assaulting a trash can?"
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