The Long-Awaited Return Of The Sinister Schnoz
Jun 22, 2018 0:18:33 GMT -5
Biblically Accurate Angel likes this
Post by Toz76 on Jun 22, 2018 0:18:33 GMT -5
It was a beautiful day in Atlantis. Cinnamon Toast Crunch walked down the street, waving at Arnold The Unusual as she passed the garden. The Cereal Family was finally at peace, and though the threat of Devilled Egg and the Fat Tapir still loomed, life was okay.
Suddenly, a portal opened up before her. A man dressed in blue robes fell through it, clearly injured.
"Where am I?"
"Who are you?"
"I'm the Man In Blue."
"What an uncreative name."
"Well, what's yours then?"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal, but you can call me CTC."
"Really?"
"Hey! The Cereal Family has a storied history!"
"I don't care right now. I need to get back to Sodor to stop the Bronze Mage!"
"Where?"
"You know, Sodor? Toz preserve us, how do you not know where Sodor is? We've been all over the news lately."
"I don't watch mortal news- wait, Toz?"
"You know of Toz?"
"You'd better come with me."
*********
Man In Blue lay on a bed in CTC's bedroom, as CTC's brother Cheerio ran scans with a computer and Snevilled Egg provided one-liners and color commentary in a stupid voice.
"So, this is a different fictional universe created by Toz?"
"Actually, we were created by Toz's friends, Toz just took over the mythos. We're a family of immortals with ambiguous powers and an uncomfortable amount of implied incest. Toz wasn't even 12 when we came into being. I honestly thought he'd forgotten about us, and frankly, without his idiocy around, our mythos has become much more mature and interesting."
"There's still incest though." Cheerio snarked.
"Shut up, you like it too." CTC replied.
"I'm Snevilled Egg! I'm a literal egg!" Snevilled Egg said. (Seriously, we need to start doing voice chats again so I can demonstrate just how annoying his voice is)
"But why now? What happened to revive a dead continuity?" Man In Blue asked, looking decidedly uncomfortable.
"Difficult to say... how's your canon holding up?"
"Honestly, it's gotten a bit stagnant, but they're trying to keep it alive, so not too bad..."
"I see."
"It's worse than I thought!" Cheerio said. "Whatever is happening is completely rewriting our canon!"
"Oh no! Not that!" Sneville said.
"I hope it doesn't erase the time I dressed up as an old guy named Frank in order to date my cousin Raisin Bran, who was a minor at the time!" Cheerio lampshaded.
"What the f-"
"Toz was 12, ok! He thought it was funny and Cheerio was unambiguously in the wrong! Let's not psychoanalyse the frequent and gratuitous nudity!" CTC angsted.
"If this is Toz's way of reviving this storyline, he should give up now." Man In Blue snarked.
*******
The Toze is an energy force that pervades the Tozerverse. It is intelligent, but can be controlled by the Gods living within. One such god was currently chained to a wall by Yellow Toze that had been corrupted by the evil Wertyui.
Some of the Yellow Toze began telepathically communicating with the chained up deity.
WHAT IS YOUR NAME
"Tiberius Octavian Zeno."
DON'T LIE TO ME
YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME TO HIDE FROM ME
BUT I FOUND YOU ANYWAY
TIKITA OLBERON ZARKALAX
"Screw you! We will defeat you!"
YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE SCHNOZ
And then there were screams.
********
"If we're going to fix the universe, we need some help." Man In Blue declared.
Suddenly, the door flew open. In the entryway stood a man in his early 50s, bald, wearing a hideous yellow trench coat.
"Cocopuff want to help!"
-----------
To be continued please burn your computer
allgameforum.forumotion.com/t94-toz-a-history for context
cocopuff.wikia.com/wiki/Cocopuff_Wiki for cringe
Suddenly, a portal opened up before her. A man dressed in blue robes fell through it, clearly injured.
"Where am I?"
"Who are you?"
"I'm the Man In Blue."
"What an uncreative name."
"Well, what's yours then?"
"Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cereal, but you can call me CTC."
"Really?"
"Hey! The Cereal Family has a storied history!"
"I don't care right now. I need to get back to Sodor to stop the Bronze Mage!"
"Where?"
"You know, Sodor? Toz preserve us, how do you not know where Sodor is? We've been all over the news lately."
"I don't watch mortal news- wait, Toz?"
"You know of Toz?"
"You'd better come with me."
*********
Man In Blue lay on a bed in CTC's bedroom, as CTC's brother Cheerio ran scans with a computer and Snevilled Egg provided one-liners and color commentary in a stupid voice.
"So, this is a different fictional universe created by Toz?"
"Actually, we were created by Toz's friends, Toz just took over the mythos. We're a family of immortals with ambiguous powers and an uncomfortable amount of implied incest. Toz wasn't even 12 when we came into being. I honestly thought he'd forgotten about us, and frankly, without his idiocy around, our mythos has become much more mature and interesting."
"There's still incest though." Cheerio snarked.
"Shut up, you like it too." CTC replied.
"I'm Snevilled Egg! I'm a literal egg!" Snevilled Egg said. (Seriously, we need to start doing voice chats again so I can demonstrate just how annoying his voice is)
"But why now? What happened to revive a dead continuity?" Man In Blue asked, looking decidedly uncomfortable.
"Difficult to say... how's your canon holding up?"
"Honestly, it's gotten a bit stagnant, but they're trying to keep it alive, so not too bad..."
"I see."
"It's worse than I thought!" Cheerio said. "Whatever is happening is completely rewriting our canon!"
"Oh no! Not that!" Sneville said.
"I hope it doesn't erase the time I dressed up as an old guy named Frank in order to date my cousin Raisin Bran, who was a minor at the time!" Cheerio lampshaded.
"What the f-"
"Toz was 12, ok! He thought it was funny and Cheerio was unambiguously in the wrong! Let's not psychoanalyse the frequent and gratuitous nudity!" CTC angsted.
"If this is Toz's way of reviving this storyline, he should give up now." Man In Blue snarked.
*******
The Toze is an energy force that pervades the Tozerverse. It is intelligent, but can be controlled by the Gods living within. One such god was currently chained to a wall by Yellow Toze that had been corrupted by the evil Wertyui.
Some of the Yellow Toze began telepathically communicating with the chained up deity.
WHAT IS YOUR NAME
"Tiberius Octavian Zeno."
DON'T LIE TO ME
YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME TO HIDE FROM ME
BUT I FOUND YOU ANYWAY
TIKITA OLBERON ZARKALAX
"Screw you! We will defeat you!"
YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE SCHNOZ
And then there were screams.
********
"If we're going to fix the universe, we need some help." Man In Blue declared.
Suddenly, the door flew open. In the entryway stood a man in his early 50s, bald, wearing a hideous yellow trench coat.
"Cocopuff want to help!"
-----------
allgameforum.forumotion.com/t94-toz-a-history for context
cocopuff.wikia.com/wiki/Cocopuff_Wiki for cringe