Post by Toz76 on Aug 23, 2017 23:38:14 GMT -5
The story you are about to read was found paperclipped in the August page of the VEC pinup calendar Vivian Bloodsphere sent Man In Blue as a joke. Man In Blue recalls there being no files paper clipped in that spot before. Analysis of the area found evidence of temporal displacement around the calendar. Bright Turquoise notably refused to investigate the anomaly, stating "I think we should leave this one alone."
The document, and the note prefacing it, have been reprinted here in their entirety. The accuracy of the reports is impossible to determine, however BT claims they are "true where it matters".
***********
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
This dossier was complied from a combination of my firsthand experience, interviews with relevant personnel, and several thousand files I stole from the Great Hall during the dark Era to preserve them from being destroyed. Long Live The Horned One.
~`Elvene'
**************
In the winter months, VEC retreated inside their lair, the Castle Cayrn, to plan their triumphant return in spring. Last year, it had taken the former of the world's first, and most violent, rock tour. This year, a debate was raging between releasing HIV into all the rivers, and attacking Tidmouth with a frigging tank.
One member of VEC, however, was less than comfortable. Kendarboo Flickerbee was beginning to feel that evil wasn't for him. The thought of good sickened him, but the thought of murdering innocents didn't get him going the same way it did for, say, Vivian, or Honeybadger.
There were only two people in the entire VEC that Kendarboo felt he could trust with his secret neutrality. His two closest friends, Lightbender and Icemeister. Though both clearly evil, they were less bigoted against good then most, and he felt safe confessing to them.
He gathered them in his quarters on December 17, 1133. He looked at their expectant faces, swallowed, and said:
"Guys, I... I'm Neutral."
"I told you." Icemeister whispered.
"I owe you a virgin heart ale." Lightbender replied. To Kendarboo, he said: "don't worry. We will accept you."
"But will the Horned One?" Kendarboo asked, sobbing. While the modern VEC is quite secular, in those days everyone genuinely believed in the divinity of the Horned One.
"You know, I was thinking about that. Everyone is always saying how the Horned One is evil, but he empowered the Monkey Men, who are more neutral than anything else. And he obviously empowered you. So he must be neutral too." Icemeister said.
"I've been suspicious of the Bronze Mage for a while. He claims we're going to wipe out Good, but even the Colorfolk know there needs to be balance. I think the highest echelons of COTHO are using us."
"Then what can we do about it?"
"Isn't it obvious? We must do everything in our power to seize control and worship the Horned One the way he was meant to be worshipped. As a neutral god."
And so began the first and only offshoot of the Churched Of The Horned One. The Church Of The Hornex, as they came to be known, would attempt to sabotage the VEC on several occasions, with varying levels of success. The following titles refer to the retelling of these attempts.
THE FRIGGING TANK
NEUGHOOGHYSSAGH
ORCS
THE COLORWOMEN
THE FINAL BATTLE
BLOODLUST
The document, and the note prefacing it, have been reprinted here in their entirety. The accuracy of the reports is impossible to determine, however BT claims they are "true where it matters".
***********
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
This dossier was complied from a combination of my firsthand experience, interviews with relevant personnel, and several thousand files I stole from the Great Hall during the dark Era to preserve them from being destroyed. Long Live The Horned One.
~`Elvene'
**************
In the winter months, VEC retreated inside their lair, the Castle Cayrn, to plan their triumphant return in spring. Last year, it had taken the former of the world's first, and most violent, rock tour. This year, a debate was raging between releasing HIV into all the rivers, and attacking Tidmouth with a frigging tank.
One member of VEC, however, was less than comfortable. Kendarboo Flickerbee was beginning to feel that evil wasn't for him. The thought of good sickened him, but the thought of murdering innocents didn't get him going the same way it did for, say, Vivian, or Honeybadger.
There were only two people in the entire VEC that Kendarboo felt he could trust with his secret neutrality. His two closest friends, Lightbender and Icemeister. Though both clearly evil, they were less bigoted against good then most, and he felt safe confessing to them.
He gathered them in his quarters on December 17, 1133. He looked at their expectant faces, swallowed, and said:
"Guys, I... I'm Neutral."
"I told you." Icemeister whispered.
"I owe you a virgin heart ale." Lightbender replied. To Kendarboo, he said: "don't worry. We will accept you."
"But will the Horned One?" Kendarboo asked, sobbing. While the modern VEC is quite secular, in those days everyone genuinely believed in the divinity of the Horned One.
"You know, I was thinking about that. Everyone is always saying how the Horned One is evil, but he empowered the Monkey Men, who are more neutral than anything else. And he obviously empowered you. So he must be neutral too." Icemeister said.
"I've been suspicious of the Bronze Mage for a while. He claims we're going to wipe out Good, but even the Colorfolk know there needs to be balance. I think the highest echelons of COTHO are using us."
"Then what can we do about it?"
"Isn't it obvious? We must do everything in our power to seize control and worship the Horned One the way he was meant to be worshipped. As a neutral god."
And so began the first and only offshoot of the Churched Of The Horned One. The Church Of The Hornex, as they came to be known, would attempt to sabotage the VEC on several occasions, with varying levels of success. The following titles refer to the retelling of these attempts.
THE FRIGGING TANK
NEUGHOOGHYSSAGH
ORCS
THE COLORWOMEN
THE FINAL BATTLE
BLOODLUST