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Post by Toz76 on Jul 11, 2017 23:23:46 GMT -5
Suleiman Vs Man In Pink
These two have literally never interacted.
Man In Pink leapt into the arena next to Suleiman, and the two drew swords and started fencing a la Inigo Montoya and Dread Pirate Roberts in The Princess Bride.
"You're quite good." Man In Pink observed.
"I should hope so, swordplay is kind of my thing. They used to call me the Beheader."
"No, I mean you seem like a generally nice guy. Why are you with VEC?"
"Just a personal choice, I guess. Where'd you learn to swordfight so well? That isn't even your artifact."
"I learned it from a drunken sorcerer named Qrow during the gypsy days..."
"Wait, what!?"
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Post by Tug on Jul 11, 2017 23:41:01 GMT -5
"You know Qrow? I was in prison with the guy... He was really beaten back then... Wonder where he is..." asked Suleiman
"OH he's with Adrianna now I think..." answered Man in Pink
"Wait a minute... Gypsy days... Adrianna... Wait a minute... She's STILL ALIVE!" yelled Suleiman as he began to stumble and once more his body turned red and 'he' returned...
"Back so soon, and this wasn't even a fight i was needed for, something triggered in that 'him' and now I'm out... Huh... This should be easy..." said Iblis as he crushed Man in Pink's sword in his claws and grabbed the Colorman by the neck...
"Such a waste of my power..." ticked Iblis as he sent Man in Pink flying towards the barrier and actually broke MM's barrier, getting the Colorman's head stuck in it, knocking Man in Pink unconscious...
"We... We have our winner..." said MM as Iblis returned to his 'prison', commenting on this being, 'a waste of his time'...
Suleiman returned...
"What just happened?"
Anyway...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 11, 2017 23:44:19 GMT -5
"And the next match is..." MM began.
"Uh, excuse me. Hi. BT here. Gralikow and I just had a chat, and we decided that we will mutually withdraw; a fight between us would just be a perpetual stalemate." BT explained.
"Yes; our powers may not be equal, but we are both powerful in our own ways, and have no true way of defeating one another" Gralikow agreed.
"Well...huh, that is awkward. I thought your fight would last several hours and give me time to think, since I don't know who to have go next..." MM said.
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Post by Tug on Jul 11, 2017 23:46:15 GMT -5
"Also, Chaos and I would like to drop out since we really don't want to fight each other..." added BA
"Alright, since you 4 want to drop out, we'll move on to Round 4 then, let's get this going, the Tournament is nearing it's conclusion and who knows what twists will be next..." answered MM
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 12, 2017 0:05:04 GMT -5
Fark Devonshire Vs Man In Steel
"Ah, the man who singlehandedly murdered 1200 of my people in cold blood. This will be fun." Fark said.
As soon as his feet touched the arena floor, Man In Steel was blinded. Before he could react, he heard a gun fire five times, and felt two bullets in his chest, one in his head, and one in his shoulder.
"Damn, I missed that last one." Fark said, but his voice seemed to come from everywhere at once and the blinded color man couldn't find him. The gunshot wounds weren't helping.
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Post by Tug on Jul 12, 2017 0:34:37 GMT -5
Steel, woken up after sleeping for about 15 minutes after fainting before, demanded he fight in this battle, even though he had barely recovered enough...
But, no matter how he was feeling, he was going to give it his all...
"Fark... You're SEVERELY... underestimating your opponent..." huffed Steel
"Oh please... I defeated your leader I can beat you... Besides, I hate you WAY more than Blue by a long shot..." said Fark as he grimanced intensely...
"I haven't even started Fark... Just watch..." as Steel turned his whole body to ice and then ripped out his frozen eyes as well as the parts of his body the bullets were embedded in. A few seconds later, new ones appeared, as well his body regenerating the ice, and he charged at Fark with his hammer. Fark thinking Steel was still blinded, prepared to attack when the Colorman missed his swing, but instead was hit square in the face. Realizing he wasn't blind, he tried the ability again, only to be hit by the hammer once more, this time in the chest...
"What?! How are you not blinded?" questioned Fark
"You're from Iceland aren't you... Ice reflects light idiot..." panted the Man in Steel
"Whatever! I'll lived long enough to know your ancestor was truly evil all along! He was a GOD spy sent to kill Vikings to eliminate our competition in the North as well as keep tabs on the Liturmen!" shouted Fark convincingly
The Man in Steel didn't even flinch and hit Fark again in the chest, sending him onto the arena floor...
"I'll heard more convincing crap spouted in the New York Times... Time... To END THIS!!!" yelled the Man in Steel asthe black 'armor' from the last battle coated his hammer, and just as he was about hit Fark right in the head, he dropped the hammer, dropping the 'armor on it', and grabbed his chest in pain
'Crap...' groaned Steel mentally as he hit the arena's floor and lost consciousness...
'Oh damn... I actually could have lost this one really badly... His powers are a hard counter to my own... I have to thank Scarlet and Mizette for such fine work... Maybe I'll give them a raise... Maybe I'll actually pay them... Anyway, to hide this deceit, better pretend it was all my doing...' thought Fark as he got up from the arena floor and said, "Yes Liturman, fall for my deadly Light... piercing the... Heart... Attack... Yeah! Haha!"
"We have a winner, that was totally a legit defeat, man this guy is convincing!" said MM as well as a majority of the crowd...
Meanwhile, the Colorman came to get Steel and look over him...
"Tell me Organ Liver... What is his condition?" asked Blue worryingly...
"I'm sorry Daniel... But Steel's... He's in a coma..."
But since no one cares about character development or melodramatic crap let's get to the other fight!
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 12, 2017 0:42:06 GMT -5
No, screw that, I don't want to format big font.
So Fark returned to GOD, muttering to himself.
"How did that not work? I'm convincing. I'm super convincing. Right? I suppose if he doesn't believe one of America's most venerated, consistently accurate media institutions, he wasn't going to believe my crap. Ah well."
Nifsara showed up. That's all the description you get from me today, folks.
"I tried to get your messages to SOM and PIC, but I ran into some plotholes and I don't think they got the message."
"Crap. Oh well. I'll deal with it later. I've got a Bronze Mage to fight."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 16, 2017 23:20:37 GMT -5
"Ladies and gentlemen- while we are waiting for the big finale to this tournament; let's get some exhibition matches going, shall we? These one on one matched are getting rather tiresome, so how's about we get a group on group match going? Lets do it!" MM screamed.
ELVES VERSUS ORCS
On one side of the field, 50 elves manifested, each armed with daggers, knives or bows and arrows, with armor indicative of skirmish fighters. On the other side, 50 Orcs manifested, armed with swords, axes or slings, and wearing hardened leather armor.
"This will be an interesting fight; though the orcs are more aggressive and physically stronger, the elves are more intelligent and mobile. What will be the deciding factor in this fight? Let's wait and see!" MM declared.
the fight began as the orcs charged the elves as a horde. Taking advantage of their superior ranged weapons, the elves began picking off orcs with arrows one by one. When the orcs got close, they began swinging their weapons, basically relying on brute force. The elves were quick enough to dodge axe strikes, but found themselves in a tough spot against the sword fighters.
"Now you shall see the noble orc warrior at work!" Dark declared proudly.
(10 minutes later)
Fark was looking on in utter horror at the savagery of the orcs.
though the field had been reduced to 25 Elves and 30 Orcs, the audience was booing the orcs as they did things so gruesome the writer dare not put to paper what was happening.
"leave the dead in peace you savages!" One audience member called out.
"Why are they doing THAT with the blood of slain elves?!" Another shouted.
One fallen elf warrior found himself surrounded by two orcs.
"please... be merciful..." the elf pleaded. But the two orcs grinned. One grabbed him by the arms, the other grabbed by the legs. Then... they began pulling."
"please!! I beg you... stop! Stop!" The elf pleaded.
"Quartering?! They are quartering him?! How barbaric!" Another screamed.
"do you see now Fark! There is nothing noble about these beasts! So why do you say they are?!" Man in Blue shouted, calling him out on an earlier statement.
"They... they are not indicative of all orcs! I demand a round two after this one!" Fark called out to MM.
(translation- Toz mentioned having his own ideas for orcs; so here's a chance to explore them)
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 16, 2017 23:38:55 GMT -5
"These are nothing like the orcs I know? How about after this, fifty elves against fifty members of the GOD Orc Brigade?"
"Sure, what the hell." MM agreed.
The elves made a comeback and were able to beat the orcs. But when fifty fresh elves were brought onto the field, they were not prepared for what came next.
These orcs wore a more elaborate but still revealing armor than the first batch. It was painted in the black, white, and pale blue of GOD. The orcs were armed with and variety of more refined weapons, including a broadsword at their side, a longbow, quiver, and shield attached to their back, and a wicked-looking halberd in their hands.
"Ordinarily we equip them with guns too, but I think that would be even more unfair." Fark said with a grin.
When the match began, rather than charging, half the orcs drew back while the other half drew their shields and halberds and formed a barricade. From behind the barricade, the other orcs launched a rain of arrows. They were more accurate than the elves, and had picked off 20 elves by the time the elves had killed twelve barricade orcs and three archers.
The orcs drew their swords next, and proved to be ruthless and no efficient. While they weren't barbaric, they weren't merciless either, and quickly killed half the remaining elves. The elves faired slightly better, and gave as good as they got, but soon the last dozen orcs had the last five elves cornered.
"Surrender now and you don't have to suffer. We aren't enemies." The lead orc, T'chaya, said.
"Did that orc just... show mercy?" Fark said with feigned shock. "I tell ya, they're much nicer than you give them credit for."
On the field, T'chaya accepted the lead elf's surrender, and at his direction three of the orcs pulled out small medical kits and begin tending to the elf's wounds, while T'chaya tended to his own troops.
"So you see, though many orcs were and are barbarians, they are not all barbarians. Kind of sad that us the villains are less judgemental than you." Fark sneered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a match with the Bronze Mage soon. Say, any pointers?"
"Go. To. Hell." Man In Blue seethed.
"Jeez, sore lose much? Bye now!"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 17, 2017 0:05:10 GMT -5
Man in Blue called the available council members to a meeting- a monitor showed the fight as MM was broadcasting it; so they watched the replay
"It doesn't make any sense... our ancestors did countless hours of research on orcs. And when we applied modern science..." Man In Blue pulled out the detailed drawings of the orc anatomy- specifically- the brain.
"Their frontal lobes are significantly smaller than humans. This doesn't make them "evil" in the traditional sense of the word, but it does make them significantly more aggressive. Higher thought processes are quite literally beyond their abilities- and yet..."
"Those tactics are far more advanced than the orc tribes that attacked Sodor way back when. The leaders are even capable of forming complete sentences" Man in White pointed out.
"Whatever this GOD did... they somehow created an orc that doesn't give into instinct as much, despite their inclinations too... best to be careful around them- I suspect that is not the last trick they will pull" Man In Blue concluded
"One question sir- are we being judgemental?" Man In Gold asked.
"Of course not! Our findings are based on objective research, not racist ideology" man in blue pointed out, as the others remembered the work of the ancestors.
......
"... and THAT is how we trained our orcs" Fark told a curious bystander.
"Wow, that's amazing! I almost feel tempted to repeat everything you just told me like there's someone here listening in and expecting a major revelation, but I don't want to sound like an idiot" the man said.
"Oh, it's quite all right; glad you found it interesting" Fark replied.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 17, 2017 0:30:06 GMT -5
"What we've done was more than training. It was evolution. Through conditioning over several generations, we've created orcs as civilized as humans. Even despite this, there are plenty of orcs who were plenty intelligent already. The colorfolk just never took brain samples of the right ones. They were unfortunate enough to only get the 65% that really were dumb. And they never took samples of females, because of "chivalry" or some garbage. Which is a shame, because even uncivilized orc females usually have brain structure and intelligence comparable to humans." Fark sighed. "Also, may I just point out that "science" has been used to justify quite a few unquestionably wrong things? Karl Vogt's rather racist polygenist studies come to mind."
"This is not the place for philosophical debates." Gnash Aimes said to Fark. "Your match is about to begin."
"Also, ever notice how orcs are depicted as dark-skinned and elves fair-skinned? Nothing remotely racist there, huh?" Fark continued ranting as Nifsara and Gnash pulled him away.
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Post by Tug on Jul 17, 2017 21:56:46 GMT -5
But, before we go to the climatic showdown between Bronze Mage and Fark, the last match of the semifinals still had to proceed...
Suleiman and Bronze Mage both got into the arena and stared each other down...
Before Marvelous could even start his shtick, Suleiman had stabbed Reis into the ground...
"I wish to withdraw from this match, I have to great a debt to my employer, and I refuse to fight him, even if it looks like we're saving face on VEC's part..." declared Suleiman
"Very well, with Suleiman's withdraw, the Bronze Mage wins by default... We'll take a quick break before the finals so peopel can buy that last minute merchandise and make sure the arena can handle the clash, so both challengers be ready soon..." ordered MM as the fighters readied themselves and allowed for some exposition to occur, like...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 17, 2017 22:05:36 GMT -5
"Blood alchemist... you are NOT the father!" A man said as he opened an envelope, revealing the results of a DNA test.
"What?! Why that dirty cheating..." and he ran off to find Vivian
"Well it IS exposition" the writer pointed out.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 17, 2017 22:42:31 GMT -5
"The father is... Toz?"
"What? No! It's Man In Steel!"
"Raios is the father!"
"No... no..."
Suddenly, Hohenheim was woken from his slumber by Chessmaster.
"Get woke, dude. The last match is about to begin."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 17, 2017 22:57:51 GMT -5
And so, the final fight began. Bronze Mage versus Fark Devonshire
"This one is tricky with his words... I'd better think this through..." BM thought.
"Bronze! He was in the bathroom during my fight! Reveal the truth to him! Reveal THE AWFUL TRUTH to him!" Man In Blue screamed.
"What, what are you... oh yes, of course!" Bronze Mage recalled. "So you like using words to intimidate your opponents, eh Fark? Well then you're about to get a taste of your own medicine!" Bronze Mage declared.
"And just how do you plan to do that?" Fark asked.
"Face it Fark... you'll never defeat me! The writers won't allow it! For you see... not only do I have plot armor, but I am the more developed character! We know more about me than you!"
"What are you going on about?" Fark said.
"Simple really... this fight doesn't matter, for you see we are just figments of the imagination, characters in a story! We can't even control our actions! watch..."
Bronze Mage did an elaborate routine involving jumping jacks and backflips.
"See? The writer made me do that. Just like he will make you lose!" Bronze Mage Declared. "Now comes the mental breakdown" BM thought to himself as he grinned
"I... I don't exist? I'm just a character?" Fark began...
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 17, 2017 23:20:57 GMT -5
"I already knew that."
"What?"
"Dude. The authors have their own special box to watch the matches from. Also, I have access to resources you can only dream of. Of course I already knew. Also also, if the match doesn't matter, how about you forfeit?"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 17, 2017 23:27:03 GMT -5
"Better idea... how about you SHUT UP!" Bronze Mage screamed as a powerful blast of magic hit Fark in the head and when the dust settled... Fark's mouth was gone, there was only solid skin where an opening used to be.
"Now, you're probably wondering why I did that? On a related note- how about some Clarence Carter?" Bronze Mage quipped.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 17, 2017 23:34:08 GMT -5
Fark scowled and wiggled his fingers. Suddenly, the Bronze Mage saw the color seeping out of his uniform like Man In Blue's had earlier, and with it his magic.
The bronze flowed into Fark and he began to crackle with power. His mouth reappeared, and he smirked.
"You stupid idiot. Your magic is still essentially colorman. And my powers allow me to steal colorman magic."
Suddenly, BM found himself surrounded by angry kobolds.
"Someday, imma steal Man In Steel's power and freeze him in his own ice with no hope of escape. Let's see how he likes it." Fark laughed maniacally as he used his stolen power to create a fifty-foot hologram of him doing just that.
"Tell you what. I'll trade you. Your powers for your vision. It may be the only way you get them back, cause I'm not giving them back when the round ends." Fark laughed maniacally again.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 17, 2017 23:43:04 GMT -5
In the audience, Man In Blue was making sure he heard that right.
"Uh, hate to break it to you, but that's completely Impossible- You can't "steal Colormen magic," it doesn't work that way!" he pointed out.
"Our magic comes from the Prism, we harness it, and we use it. And because he's not a Colorman, and, let's face it, he's evil, scrambler or no scrambler- the Prism Magic is not compatible with evil- plain and simple" Man In Gold pointed out.
"I told you earlier, we don't deal in absolutes" Fark replied.
"That's funny, BECAUSE WE DO!!!" the Colormen boomed back.
"Come to think of it- Bronze Mage's powers are no longer Prism derived, so how can Fark even claim to absorb them?" Man In Silver pointed out.
That bit of exposition gave Bronze Mage the inspiration he needed.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 17, 2017 23:58:12 GMT -5
"I'll make the trade."
Fark smirked. "Alright, your powers."
As the bronze began to seep back towards him, the Bronze Mage saw everything fade to black, but it was fine, because he had a plan.
Fark turned to the audience. "Just because you've never encountered an evil that is compatible with your prism- remember, your Prism is one of a kind- doesn't mean it doesn't exist. And for the record- I'm completely neutral! Not good, not evil. This is the danger in dealing in absolutes. You miss the gray areas, the ambiguities-"
The Bronze Mage shot a bolt of lightning at Fark Devonshire. He went flying.
"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't hear your fat mouth gabbing away. Now, how about you give back my vision and we fight on even ground?"
"The Horned One isn't a god."
The Bronze Mage paused. "What?"
"He's a creature from another dimension the Cubii brought back and convinced you to worship. Powerful, but not divine. And I can prove it."
"This is one of your tricks!"
"Nope. Dead serious. You want proof? I give you..." Fark reached into hammerspace, "...a second Horned Beast egg! Not due to hatch for several hundred years, but still. You can tell by the distinctive orange stripes."
"Toz! Why are you doing against your own plans?" Tug whispered in the Author box."
"Oh, just for the hell of it." Toz smirked. "We need a major plot twist to end this thread on anyway."
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