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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 0:17:45 GMT -5
The friends awoke and gathered in the living room. Sort of. Toz left early, muttering something about "stuff", and Eyes was still in bed.
"Probably hungover. Let's leave him be." Tug said.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:20:24 GMT -5
Eyes was hungover all right.
REALLY hungover.
Remember the last time you were hungover?
You do?
Good.
Now destroy those memories because it's nothing on this one.
"Who is that?" asked TGC.
Oh, just your friendly narrator. Don't mind me. *laughtrack*
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 0:27:04 GMT -5
As Eyes lay in an alcohol-induced delirium, he began to dream...
"Eyes... it's me..."
"Nessie! But... you were tragically killed offscreen by a drunk driver!"
"Yes, and if you aren't careful, you could be that drunk driver. You will be visited by three ghosts, who will help you overcome your alcoholism."
"Really? A Christmas Carol spoof? I don't even want to think about the B-plot..."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 0:31:17 GMT -5
"But wait, it's morning... how is this going to work?" Eyes asked.
"You shall see in due time" and the ghost of his beloved disappeared.
Frank meanwhile, was off to WaldTech. "Big meeting today; going to unveil my next great invention. Seeing as this is an Eyes-Centric episode, I don't think you'll be needing me much" Frank pointed out as he made for the door (laugh track)
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:31:53 GMT -5
Suddenly Eyes heard shattering glass. He woke up, jumped up, and ran smack into a girl who was bleeding in the corner.
"OH MY F*CKING HEAD!" shouted Eyes. *laughtrack*
"Oh by the way I finally make an appearance," said the Untold Hero of 3WSR, Nesseterina (Last Name Unknown).
"You broke a f*cking window to get in here?" Eyes said in shock.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time..."
"I'll get the bandages..." *laughtrack*
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 0:34:57 GMT -5
Tug and TGC ran in.
"It's the fabled Nessetarina!" Tug snarked. "What, did you pay some random girl on the street?"
TGC just stared and muttered something about his straight side coming out again. *laughtrack*
The two sober heroes took Nessetarina into the kitchen to bandage her. Along the way, both flirted with her, much to Eyes' frustration. So he decided to visit Riley.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:37:21 GMT -5
Toz missed a part in his above post:
"...Eyes' frustration. He kicked TGC and Tug's asses out, and told them to keep their f*cking hands off of his girlfriend.
"Well that was rude," said TGC.
So he..."
Sorry about that folks.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 0:38:57 GMT -5
As Eyes tried to go and leave his room, he found that the door would not open, Nessetarina had frozen solid, and the windows only showed bright light behind them.
Then, some late 19th century looking man manifested in the room next to him
"Let me guess, you're the first of the three ghosts?" Eyes asked.
"Top o' te mornin' to ye lad, of course I be te first ghost to see ye straight!" He said with a pronounced Irish accent.
"Wait, drinking themed episode, Irishman... yea, that's going to cause a lot of angry emails" Eyes realized (laugh track)
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:41:48 GMT -5
"Listen pal, go f*ck off in Luck of the Irish, I have no time for this." And he picked up a gun aimed and-
"Are you halucinating?" asked Nessie.
"Oh jesus I was wasn't I?" *laughtrack*
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 0:43:43 GMT -5
Hallucinations aside, Eyes finally had some quality time with his girlfriend... sort of.
"You know, that TGC fellow, my friend Riley says he's very talented in certain ways, if you know what I mean. Maybe some day I'll finally let you do some of that, erm, sort of thing with me so I can compare it with him. And that Tug's a real hearthrob too." *laughtrack*
"Every time you are so much as mentioned I become the butt of all the jokes. And you still won't let me f*** you!" Eyes complained.
"I'm sorry, are you not happy with this relationship? Because I would dump your alcoholic ass for any of your roommates in a heartbeat if you didn't pay me." *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 0:45:00 GMT -5
"Focus man!" The ghostly Irishman said, somehow slapping him back into the delusion.
"Wait, we're actually doing this?" Eyes said in shock.
"Darn right we are; I'm te ghost of drinkin' past and I'm here to show you all te problems drinkin has caused ye" The Irishman said.
"No! Go away!" Eyes said.
"Too late!" The Irishman said, and they were surrounded by a swirl of color as they went back in time.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:48:05 GMT -5
"ALL RIGHT I'VE HAD ENOUGH!" cried Tug. "YOU PUNKS SIT HERE, YOU PUNKS SIT THERE, AND WE'RE GONNA FOCUS ON ALBERTO AND ME FOR A BIT UNTIL YOU DICKHEADS GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER!!"
They sat.
Now then, Tug and Alberto were...
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 0:53:11 GMT -5
knocked unconscious by falling drywall, as the camera cut back to Eyes and the Irishman.
They appeared in a bar, and Eyes remembered. "I know this place! This is where I had my first drink!" Eyes said aloud.
"Indeed it is; and there you are, about to have your first drink" The Irishman said.
(CUT TO: A scrawny looking, nervous man is about to have his first sip of beer)
"I...I don't know about this guys" he said nervously
"Come on, do it man! You just turned 21... according to your ID, and you know what that means" one friend said (laugh track)
And he took a sip of the beer.
"This...is... GREAT!" And the scrawny looking man suddenly started behaving a lot more "Eyes" like (laugh track)
"You know, come to tink of it... how long ago was tis? You looked very different back ten" The Irishman observed.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 0:57:03 GMT -5
"A long f*cking time ago. Now go to hell."
And the Irishman did, literally.
"Oh sh*t," said Eyes. *laughtrack*
Now then, back to the purpose of the episode, to be philosophical about hangovers and still funny as well...
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Post by Toz76 on Apr 28, 2017 1:03:07 GMT -5
Psych! This is an episode about the dangers of substance abuse now!
"Toz has been acting strange lately." Frank commented. "Not as strange as Eyes, but strange by his standards."
"Yeah." Tug agreed. "I don't know why you left work randomly to have this conversation, but I have to agree. He's out until new in the morning, he's always irritable, he always smells like fire and alcohol..."
"Okay, this better be one of those "comical misunderstanding" things." TGC interjected.
Was it? Who cares? Back to Eyes and his ghosts!
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 1:07:16 GMT -5
Or actually, f*ck ghosts, we have Nessie to figure out.
"So what the hell are you doing here and why the f*ck did you break a window getting in?"
"I... don't really know. I was kinda drunk I think."
"How drunk?" asked Eyes.
"Let's see... I had three whiskeys, for scotchs, ten beers..."
"Jesus, you drank almost as much as I did last night!" *laughtrack*
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 1:08:06 GMT -5
And when he blinked, the window wasn't broken and there wasn't a single trace of Nessie anywhere.
Eyes ran into the living room "guys, where's Nessie?"
"Who?" Tug asked.
"My girlfriend" Eyes said.
"What are you talking about? You don't have a girlfriend" TGC pointed out.
"Yes I do, see!" And Eyes pulled out his phone... but there wasn't a single picture of Nessie, and she wasn't in his contacts. Her Facebook, twitter, instagram and Snapchat pages were also nonexistent..
"Face it, there is no Nessie" Toz said
"NOOOO!!!!" Eyes began, but he was interrupted by a sharp pain due to his hangover.
"Ugh, my head is killing me; first that Irishman and then a girlfriend; what am i going to hallucinate next?" Eyes asked himself.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 1:14:52 GMT -5
Suddenly Eyes was at a ballpark.
And then he was swimming in an ocean.
And then he was on train tracks.
And a train ran over him.
And they found his body next morning.
Go home, you're drunk.
"I am, aren't I?" asked Nessie.
WHAT THE F*CK IS GOING ON
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Apr 28, 2017 1:18:34 GMT -5
Then, he found himself falling...falling...FALLING!!!
He was falling from the sky with no parachute, and the weird part is... he saw no ground below him. He was just falling...and falling...and falling...
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Apr 28, 2017 1:23:36 GMT -5
All right, let's get this straight.
-Whether Toz likes it or not, Nessie is here to stay. -Both Nessie and Eyes are drunk as f*ck. -I am NOT doing ANYTHING with Riley, except when she comes to the apartment. -Irishmen be damned. -Dealing with things philosophically and hilariously are the key to this episode.
Got it? Good.
Now then, where were we... a yes, Nessie was all bandaged up and Eyes has no clue what she's doing there...
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