Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 1, 2021 17:18:48 GMT -5
Magic takes many forms; sometimes in line with the eight elements, other times seeming to defy the elements. But some magic is just so pointless or useless, it makes one wonder why the spell even exists. Here are the top ten most useless spells in the magic world:
10) Bubble generation
This spell is exactly what it sounds like; a spell for the manifesting bubbles; plain old soapy water bubbles. While misuse could cause mild eye irritation, it serves little practical usage. The only reason its not higher on this list? Because its popular as a party trick for children's birthdays and other kid-heavy events
9) Pencil pointing
This spell allows the user, when holding a pencil, to have it be perfectly sharpened. While it does sound practical, context is key. Pencil sharpeners are a thing, work well, and do not consume magic; so why use a spell that wastes magic that could be used on something more... well, useful
8) Bad gas
This spell is popular among immature teenage boy mages and pretty much no one else. It causes the target to have really bad flatulence, but other than mild embarrassment does not cause any long term affects to the target. While not as bad as the Four taboos, this spell is still frowned upon for obvious reasons
7) Hair pigment transformation
This spell is unique among transformation spells in that while all others require a constant input of magic to maintain, this spell is long lasting even without constant magic input. While is not completely useless, advances in cosmetology have rendered this spell pointless to learn; saloons in the magic world generally prefer "non-magic" means to change hair color anyway because, as before, its one less way to use up magic that can be used elsewhere
6) Corpse restoration
This spell isn't useless in the sense of pointless, but rather its usefullness is so specific, it is useless outside of this specific context. Used primarily by Paladins investigating murders, found bodies and the like, this spells repairs a corpse to the point of being undamaged; but in keeping with the 5th law of magic, it cannot bring the person back to life. Rather, it works as such: suppose a skeleton is found in a forest, and the Paladins wish to know who it is. They could take DNA samples, but they also have the ability to "restore" the corpse with a form of light magic. By harnessing the healing power of light magic in such a way that expands upon spells that treat necrosis, even a skeleton can be restored to its "full" state, allowing for easier identification of the deceased.
However, this spell is rarely used due to the enormous amount of magic and time needed for a successful spell. A body with just lacerations can be "fixed" in a few hours, but a skeleton needs 1-2 weeks to be "restored"
It is considered useless because outside of Paladin investigations, it has no practical usage
5) Perfect Chicken
This spell can perfectly cook a chicken so it is not raw at all. But, those who eat chicken prepared with this spell have described the meat as "tasteless; on the dry side" and thus, chefs in magic world restaurants often prefer to cook their chicken like regular people... in ovens.
4) Clothing adjustment
Suppose you are trying on a shirt and its a bit too big or too small. This spell adjusts the size of the shirt to have it fit better. Like the hair color spell, this transformation does not need an influx of magic to maintain the transformation. The spell is useless because of its pointlessness; if something is too big or to small, just get the next size
3) Rash manifestation
This spell causes one to become afflicted with very itchy skin, akin to poison ivy exposure. Other than as a means to spite someone you don't really like, it offers no practical usage and, is easily treatable with most rash ointments.
2) Talking to Fish
This spell grants the user the ability to talk to fish. However, fish intelligence is nowhere near as high as humans, and it is impossible to hold meaningful conversations with them. Not to mention there's no practical advantage to being able to talk to them, so other than the mage called Ocean Man, no one bothers with this one.
1) Eye glow
The most useless spell of all, this spell causes one's eyes to glow... but other than that causes no harm or aid to the target. It's the kind of spell that makes someone go "When would I use this? Why is this even a thing?"
10) Bubble generation
This spell is exactly what it sounds like; a spell for the manifesting bubbles; plain old soapy water bubbles. While misuse could cause mild eye irritation, it serves little practical usage. The only reason its not higher on this list? Because its popular as a party trick for children's birthdays and other kid-heavy events
9) Pencil pointing
This spell allows the user, when holding a pencil, to have it be perfectly sharpened. While it does sound practical, context is key. Pencil sharpeners are a thing, work well, and do not consume magic; so why use a spell that wastes magic that could be used on something more... well, useful
8) Bad gas
This spell is popular among immature teenage boy mages and pretty much no one else. It causes the target to have really bad flatulence, but other than mild embarrassment does not cause any long term affects to the target. While not as bad as the Four taboos, this spell is still frowned upon for obvious reasons
7) Hair pigment transformation
This spell is unique among transformation spells in that while all others require a constant input of magic to maintain, this spell is long lasting even without constant magic input. While is not completely useless, advances in cosmetology have rendered this spell pointless to learn; saloons in the magic world generally prefer "non-magic" means to change hair color anyway because, as before, its one less way to use up magic that can be used elsewhere
6) Corpse restoration
This spell isn't useless in the sense of pointless, but rather its usefullness is so specific, it is useless outside of this specific context. Used primarily by Paladins investigating murders, found bodies and the like, this spells repairs a corpse to the point of being undamaged; but in keeping with the 5th law of magic, it cannot bring the person back to life. Rather, it works as such: suppose a skeleton is found in a forest, and the Paladins wish to know who it is. They could take DNA samples, but they also have the ability to "restore" the corpse with a form of light magic. By harnessing the healing power of light magic in such a way that expands upon spells that treat necrosis, even a skeleton can be restored to its "full" state, allowing for easier identification of the deceased.
However, this spell is rarely used due to the enormous amount of magic and time needed for a successful spell. A body with just lacerations can be "fixed" in a few hours, but a skeleton needs 1-2 weeks to be "restored"
It is considered useless because outside of Paladin investigations, it has no practical usage
5) Perfect Chicken
This spell can perfectly cook a chicken so it is not raw at all. But, those who eat chicken prepared with this spell have described the meat as "tasteless; on the dry side" and thus, chefs in magic world restaurants often prefer to cook their chicken like regular people... in ovens.
4) Clothing adjustment
Suppose you are trying on a shirt and its a bit too big or too small. This spell adjusts the size of the shirt to have it fit better. Like the hair color spell, this transformation does not need an influx of magic to maintain the transformation. The spell is useless because of its pointlessness; if something is too big or to small, just get the next size
3) Rash manifestation
This spell causes one to become afflicted with very itchy skin, akin to poison ivy exposure. Other than as a means to spite someone you don't really like, it offers no practical usage and, is easily treatable with most rash ointments.
2) Talking to Fish
This spell grants the user the ability to talk to fish. However, fish intelligence is nowhere near as high as humans, and it is impossible to hold meaningful conversations with them. Not to mention there's no practical advantage to being able to talk to them, so other than the mage called Ocean Man, no one bothers with this one.
1) Eye glow
The most useless spell of all, this spell causes one's eyes to glow... but other than that causes no harm or aid to the target. It's the kind of spell that makes someone go "When would I use this? Why is this even a thing?"