Post by Toz76 on Dec 29, 2022 5:23:11 GMT -5
Chapter 20: The "I meant to transcribe all the christmas posts earlier so it would be seasonal and festive and whatever but I forgot and there were way more than I realized, oops" mega-extravaganza
And now we'll take a break from the ongoing plots. We'll come back to them on December 26th, but for now, it's time for a verry merry....
"Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an nivir brocht ti mynd?
Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an ald lang syn?"
"Donald and Douglas! You've been singing that song nonstop ever since the Christmas season started!" said Duck. "I'm starting to get sick of it."
"That mae be, but isn't it gud to get intoo the Christmas spirrit?"
"Frankly," said Gordon, "It just overworks us. There are far too many passengers, and far too many trains. And your singing....!"
"Chill out, you two." Henry said. "Christmas means Christmas Trees, which means the Logging Locos get to visit!"
"Yay! I haven't seen them in a while!" Said Thomas.
Sir Topham Hatt walked up. "I'm sorry, Thomas," he said, "but there's to be a snow storm by Misty Island. It'll be too dangerous for them to come."
"Oh," said Thomas sadly.
"Cheer up!" said Sir Topham Hatt. "I've got some special plans for us!"
"Really, Sir?" asked Percy. "What are they, Sir?"
"Wait, I thought we can't stand the logging locos?" Percy asked.
"This is a separate continuity I think" Edward whispered.
"Oh."
Sir Topham Hatt had assembled his engines at Knapford, to make the big announcement.
"Now let's see; Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, Toby, Duck, Donald, Douglas, Oliver, Bill and Ben, BoCo, Daisy, Bear, Arthur, Murdoch, Stanley, Rosie..." As Hatt looked over his engines "Emily's at the works getting repaired, Victor is at the works, Salty and Porter are at the docks, Whiff and Scruff are at the garbage dump, Flynn and belle are at the search and rescue center... All right, everyone who can be here is here." Hatt said.
Thomas then said "but what about the..."
"Shhh! We don't count the pointless one-offs and bland or bad characters" James cut him off.
"Oh," said Thomas. (He felt like saying ****, but this is a kids show, so oh well.)
"Now, I've called you here to show you this." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"Is that a broken camera?" Percy asked.
"Yes, you know what that means." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"We aren't on camera! Now we can stop forcing a smile 24/7!" Thomas said.
"Yes, now we can go out of this "Alternate Continuity" of season 15 and act normal." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"Yay!"
-------------
The Writer deleted that section.
-------------
"Now, I've called you here to learn the true spirit of Christmas. You've been nothing but rude to the "pointless one-off characters", so I'm going to fix that. They'll be pulling all the special trains, and you'll be doing your normal work."
"WHAT!?"
Molly, Neville, and Belle beamed. "We'll huff our hard- er, do our best, sir."
"Darn it!" said Thomas.
Then, who should appear? Lady!
"Lady! We haven't seen you in ages!"
"Yes, Thomas; it's good to bDIESEL 10 RUNS INTO LADY, KILLING HER
"I've gotten her now!"
Just then, Thomas woke up from a dream.
"Huh? What happened?"
"You feel asleep, sir Topham Hatt is about to make an announcement" Edward explained.
"Now, I've gathered you all here to let you know what will be happening this year, this Christmas, actually marks a very special occasion for Sodor, because..."
The writer went back. "Nah, I'll re-add that part." And pulled the old paper out of the trash, and put it back inside.
"Ok, now- sorry." Sir Topham Hatt said, and started exercising his jaw muscles. "Ok, now I'm going to send you all to..."
AAAH! This is getting really confusing!
Sir Topham Hatt took a deep breath and continued speaking. "As I was trying to say, the cameras are gone so we no longer have to "act miller", and this is a very special year for us. This Christmas marks a very special occasion for Sodor, because it was a Christmas 100 years ago that the North Western Railway was founded."
The engines' eyes widened.
"Thus," continued the Fat Controller, "we are going to be doing something extra special. We are going to be hosting a special Christmas party for all the engines and people of Sodor; the project will be quite the undertaking, as we must be able to get the Skarloey, Culdee Fell and Arlesdale engines here. This christmas, we will bring everyone together" Sir Topham Hatt said proudly, as he was joined by Mr Roger Sam (Skarloey Railway Controller), Mr Fergus Duncan (Arlesdale railway controller) and Mr Walter Richards (Manager of the Culdee Fell railway).
[Half a page of arguing over whether we should even do a christmas special removed]
Diesel 11 was in trouble.
He was making his Christmas wish list, but didn't know what to wish for. He paced about the room, when he suddenly slipped on a banana peel. And due to the nature of comedy, he would up landing on a skateboard which rolled out of his room, down the hall and down the stairs. He fell off the skateboard and landed in a wagon which rolled across his living room and with a thud, face planted into the wall.
Checking himself for injuries, he felt something was missing. Now he knew what to wish for.
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
***
If you want this sequence to have turned out to be a dream, text 3WSRONE
If you want a musical number to start, text 3WSRTWO
If you want to see the punchline to this scene, text 3WSRTHREE
***
Time's up; thanks for voting!
3WSRONE
It turned out to have been a dream, luckily. Meanwhile, in a rail museum on the mainland, a press conference had been called.
"And so, now on loan to this museum, it is with great pleasure that I announce the newest addition to our collection; one of Reginald Walkins' line of numbered diesels. Many, as you know, are lost, but this is one I am happy to say was never scrapped. So it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Diesel 9; Walkin's narrow gauge diesel.
Among those Watching the news was Jenkins.
"Hey boss, check this out"
Diesel 11 stared. Then he rushed off.
Meanwhile, Nesseterina woke up. "Wear am I?" she said.
"You're here where you won't escape," someone laughed.
MeanwhileTGC was watching Doctor Who when someone walked in the room silently. "Ah, Ninth was the best doctor, if only he had stayed for a few more-"
Meanwhile, Man In Blue was...getting sick of it.
"That's it!" he said, "I'm leaving Sodor."
And he did.
"Who will be our leader?" asked MIG.
"I can!" said Man In Black.
Man In Blue came walking back in, furious.
"I'm not going anywhere! That darn writer keeps forgetting to write me in character!" he fumed.
Everyone relaxed; so he wasn't going anywhere. "And need I remind you all we don't have a leader? We are all equals; I have just taken it upon myself to guide us for the time being; since we are only recently reestablished, there is a lot we have to figure out for the time being."
No one could argue with that.
However, Woman In Orange had a suggestion. "Why don't we hold a democratic election, to find out who should lead us?"
"Good idea!" said Man In Blue, "but remember guys: DON'T VOTE FOR YOURSELF!!"
So they voted.
"Great, let's see who won," said Man In Blue.
Man In Gold - 2%
Woman In Silver - 1%
Man In Egyptian Blue - 5%
Man In Blue - 11%
Man In Ultraviolet - 40.5%
Man In Infrared - 40.5%
"Really?" said the two.
"Yep, so it looks like I won't be the leader anymore." And thus, Man In Blue stepped down.
Except Man in Infrared, as we recall, is MIA, so he couldn't take up the post, and Man In Ultraviolet found himself so overwhelmed with the burden, just two days later he begged Man In Blue to take the position back.
And the status quo was restored.
Man In Blue later talked to Man In Ultraviolet.
"You only recently discovered what it means to be a Colorman; best to work on your craft before you become a leader." Man In Ultraviolet nodded in agreement and went to the training grounds.
Unfortunately, the other Colorfolk demanded another vote. This time, Man In Gold won.
"Well, thank you," he said, "but I really can't take this place without Man In Blue being my 'vice president', so to speak, and my advisor."
Man In Blue accepted the position.
Meanwhile, the Numbered Diesels...
Were not important to this plot at the moment.
Man In Gold could not maintain his position though, because of his duty as Keeper of the Archives. So Man In Blue became leader again, and this time clarified.
"Listen, I am only leader de facto; we have no true leader, we are all equals. Once we have reached a point where we are established and stable, I will stop acting as leader in the sense of a president or CEO, and decisions will be left to us as a whole; where we can decide collectively what to do. Besides, why would you want to vote me out, have I not done what is best for all of you?"
The Colormen realized the error of their ways, and decided to have a vote when the time was right.
Meanwhile on the mainland, at the rail museum where Diesel 9 now lived, there was bad news.
An experienced mechanic was looking at Diesel 9, seeing if he could be repaired.
"Well... can he be repaired?" The curator asked.
"Afraid not" the mechanic sighed.
"You can't fix him?" He said
"No, I could with the proper resources... and that is where the problem is" he explained.
"What do you mean?"
"See these parts here?" the mechanic pointed out.
"Yes."
"These are key to the operation of the engine and the self-driving programming system; but as you can see, they are broken"
"Can't you replace them?"
"They stopped making them in 1979; I could replace them, but we'd need to find the parts first" he explained.
"So you're saying... he can't be fixed?"
"Only if we find those parts" the mechanic concluded.
Just then, a man walked in.
"Hello there; can I help you? We're a bit busy now, so it will need to be quick" the curator said.
"My name is Diesel 11."
"I don't have time for this; you needn't lie to me."
"No, seriously, my name is Diesel 11."
"Okay... what do you want?"
"Well, you can call me D-11 for short; its a long story, but anyway, I understand that you have one of the numbered diesels in your collection?"
"Yes, he's right here. Technically he is on loan from Roger Portman, but yes, this is Diesel 9" the curator explained.
"Well, I'd like to buy him."
I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to get the memories from my mind
What did I see can I believe that what I saw
That night was real and not just fantasy
Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
Reflections of my warped mind staring back at me
'cause in my dreams it's always there the evil face that twists my mind
And brings me to despair
The night was black was no use holding back
'cause I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or some kind of hell
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun satan's work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight
This can't go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or some crazy dream
But I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerize me...can't avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me
I'm coming back I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course
"Turn off the radio!" the curator said.
"Sorry" and it was.
"Well, you'd have to talk to Mr Portman then; he's the legal owner; all we have is a 30 day contract to display him here at the museum" the curator said.
"Don't I get a choice in this?" Diesel 9 asked.
"Of course you do," said Diesel 11. "You'd like to see your brothers again, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would! It's been my dream for years."
"I am the owner of a good lot of them."
"Really?"
"Yes. That's why I wanted to buy you. My goal is to get all the Numbered Diesels together again."
The Curator thought it over.
"Well, there is nothing I can do about it; but I can put you in contact with Portman"
*A few minutes later*
*Ring-ring*
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Roger Portman?"
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"I'd like to make a business proposition" D-11 said.
Meanwhile, at VEC headquarters, trouble was brewing. The new member Toz76 had demanded to be their leader, as he said that he was their "creator, and without me, none of you would've been here."
The Bronze Mage was getting sick of it. "Shut up, you **** fool!!" he cried.
"Don't threaten me!" said Toz76, "or I'll write you out of the story!!"
Back with Diesel 11...
"I would like to make a business proposition"
"about one of my engines? I don't know... I paid 15 grand for it" Portman replied.
"I can send you off with ten times that."
"Really!?"
"Oh, yes."
Meanwhile, Twenty One Pilots was there, for some reason. After all, Megadeth had showed up earlier...
But since that is confusing, let's cut to the VEC
"Rodney! Do you have the doughnuts?!" The general boomed.
"Yes, right here" he said as he put several boxes onto the table.
"And here's the coffee" Catherine said as she put it out next to the doughnuts.
"Say, what are they majoring in anyway?" A confused mind reader asked inferno.
"No idea." Inferno replied.
"Who are "They" exactly?" A confused Stormtrooper said. "They are..."
"I'm talking about our interns, Catherine and Rodney; what exactly are they majoring in that they are interning for us?" mind reader asked
"Business management" Rodney said as he finished with the doughnuts.
"Why do you ask?" Catherine replied.
"Because!"
In the Author Room/Writer Room/ Room with the secret orbs that didn't really go anywhere, the Writers were welcoming a new recruit.
"Welcome, Doc Knickerbocker! I hope you enjoy it here." Frank said.
"Yes, you are a character in your own story. It's complicated." Toz interjected. "Butit's cool. We get to portray ourselves as ridiculously powerful. We even get evil doubles!"
"There is someone you do need to meet though" Frank said. And he introduced a man in an overcoat, fedora and sunglasses.
"hello docnickerbocker" the mysterious man said.
"How do you know who I am?" doc said, surprised.
"I know everything that goes on here. Welcome to the story; I am The Writer." he said to doc.
"I thought Frank, Toz and the others were the writers?" Doc asked, confused.
"They are; but they are also characters in this story, so to fill the void I exist as sort of a metaphorical representation, a conglomerate if you will, of all the contributors to the story and... ugh, why do I always confuse myself whenever I try to explain who I am!?" he screamed in frustration. Doc looked on, confused.
"Anyway, as you know, this takes place on the Island of Sodor, so there is Thomas and Friends and Railway series characters here. However, note that we do not acknowledge the existence of the pointless one-offs, so they aren't around. Oh, and in an earlier arc Bash and Dash were destroyed, so they aren't around either."
"What?" Doc asked, confused.
"It's a context thing. Continuing, this story does have its fair share of original characters too. There's the Colormen; an order of sorcerers sworn to protect Sodor, dating back to the reign of King Godred; we'll tell you more about them as we go along, and their counterparts, the Colorwomen, but other than a select few, surprisingly they don't come up much. Their primary enemies are the Vile Evil Confederacy, or VEC, lead by the Bronze Mage. Then there is also this race of aliens who I keep forgetting the name of. Oh, and we have a maglev line too. Furthermore, the TUGS are here, so you'll see them by the docks. Oh, and there's also the numbered diesels, turns out Diesel 10 has a lot of brothers.
And that's the basics for now; any questions?" The writer asked.
"Actually, I have one" Frank asked.
"What's that?" The Writer asked.
"Why don't I have an evil counterpart?" Frank asked
"Sorry Frank, budget cuts" the writer replied
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Frank retorted, just as a lampshade fell on his head
"There is someone you do need to meet though" Frank said. And he introduced a man in an overcoat, fedora and sunglasses.
"hello docnickerbocker" the mysterious man said.
"How do you know who I am?" doc said, surprised.
"I know everything that goes on here. Welcome to the story; I am The Writer." he said to doc.
"I thought Frank, Toz and the others were the writers?" Doc asked, confused.
"They are; but they are also characters in this story, so to fill the void I exist as sort of a metaphorical representation, a conglomerate if you will, of all the contributors to the story and... ugh, why do I always confuse myself whenever I try to explain who I am!?" he screamed in frustration. Doc looked on, confused.
"Anyway, as you know, this takes place on the Island of Sodor, so there is Thomas and Friends and Railway series characters here. However, note that we do not acknowledge the existence of the pointless one-offs, so they aren't around. Oh, and in an earlier arc Bash and Dash were destroyed, so they aren't around either."
"What?" Doc asked, confused.
"It's a context thing. Continuing, this story does have its fair share of original characters too. There's the Colormen; an order of sorcerers sworn to protect Sodor, dating back to the reign of King Godred; we'll tell you more about them as we go along, and their counterparts, the Colorwomen, but other than a select few, surprisingly they don't come up much. Their primary enemies are the Vile Evil Confederacy, or VEC, lead by the Bronze Mage. Then there is also this race of aliens who I keep forgetting the name of. Oh, and we have a maglev line too. Furthermore, the TUGS are here, so you'll see them by the docks. Oh, and there's also the numbered diesels, turns out Diesel 10 has a lot of brothers.
And that's the basics for now; any questions?" The writer asked.
"Actually, I have one" Frank asked.
"What's that?" The Writer asked.
"Why don't I have an evil counterpart?" Frank asked
"Sorry Frank, budget cuts" the writer replied
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Frank retorted, just as a lampshade fell on his head
Meanwhile, the VEC was welcoming a new member. "Who are you?" "I am Lord History, I have the longest memory and remember everything dating back to 2015 BC, every year that goes by I remember another year, for example, next year i will remember everything dating back to 2016 BC, I am also one of the readers, like CGT, Not Diesel 11, and VEC76." Lord History said.
"And GutshipventIV?"
"I guess..."
Meanwhile, Toz was venting his frustration- or trying to, anyway. The only one there was Frank, and there was a lampshade stuck on his head (see above).
"... I mean, normally I wouldn't be this hung up over it, but she said it in such a cold tone of voice..."
"What about Detroit?"
"...and now I have to pretend to like her for at least the next week..."
"Thomas, Percy and the Squeak?"
"Oh, for heavens sake, get that lampshade off your head!"
"Wait, who died?"
Toz rolled his eyes, grabbed the lampshade and sent it to an alternate dimension, only to be promptly buried under fifty more.
Meanwhile, the new Woman In Orange was calling her boyfriend in her non-colorfolk dwelling, when she heard a sound. Her mother was in the house, and she was looking for her.
Meanwhile, the Numbered Diesels were worried. Where, why, when, and what?! Diesel 0 had been stolen, but where was Diesel 11?
But it that numbered diesel plot would need to wait a bit, since this post was being written while that one was posted, so I didn't see it.
"Hailey, where are you?" The former Woman in Orange called out, looking for her. The younger said she would call her boyfriend back.
Back in the writer's room (?) after Frank got the lampshade off his head, he looked at Toz.
"Wait, what just happened, apart from the obvious trope reference?" Frank asked, confused; he felt like he just spent the last 30 seconds saying random lines.
"This is too confusing."
MEANWHILE
ON SODOR
Duke and Boco were sitting, reading the newspaper.
"It seems my stock in Microsoft has gone down." Grunted Boco.
"What a shame." Said Duke.
"Indeed," said BoCo.
"If it makes you feel better, I lost hundreds yesterday."
"On what?"
"Sodor News & Co." And Duke promptly tore his paper up.
"Hey, look on the bright side," Flora said, "I just lost thousands by investing in the NWR. Apparently the real money comes from a staple factory, which burnt down."
"You know, I liked it better when we didn't acknowledge the pointless one-offs," Boco whined.
"Don't be an impudent scalawag!" said Duke.
BoCo looked at him like this:
Meanwhile, Toby sauntered along the line, with a train of stone. He clattered along, thinking to himself.
I wonder if I could... hm.
Toby halted, and squinted.
All of a sudden, Mr. Conductor (Carlin) appeared.
"Toby! Am I glad to see you! There's trouble an-"
"Sir, we have troubles of our own - and only you can assist us. Come aboard, and I shall explain."
"But please don't curse."
"Now why the **** would I curse?"
Toby rolled his eyes. "Anyway, we need you because...
Toby described the VEC in great detail.
"Easy as pie," said Mr Conductor, "just let me get my familiar."
The tumbleweed was stuck in a ditch. Mr Conductor swore seven times, then prepared to rescue his familiar.
Meanwhile, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield, and Robert Trujillo were setting up for the next Metallica concert. Suddenly, two men dressed in black ran up to them.
"Oh my gosh!" said one. "It's Metallica!!"
"Can we have your autographs?"
But suddenly they were summoned to the Great Hall of the Colormen.
"Aw man" they sighed.
Man in blue spoke to the assembled Colorfolk.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice; but we have an urgent situation." Man in Blue said. "We have just detected a new source of Magic on Sodor, and it's not a Colorman" man in Blue said; the others were surprised.
"Man in White used the Helmet of Cronk to locate and look at him; he appears to have the appearance of a train conductor, but he looks like that comedian that complained a lot." Man In Blue said.
"Maybe it's that Mr Conductor fellow my dad told me about" Man In Arylide Yellow said.
"Dont be ridiculous; I've met Mr Conductor, he looks more like that drummer from the Beatles than that comedian" Man in Lavender called out.
"What do we do?" Man in silver asked.
"I'll consult man in white; he is definately not evil, but his magic seems to be... Different." Man in blue said. "Meeting ajourned" blue said as he walked out.
"Yes!!" cried Man In Black Coral and Man In Coal Black. They were just in time for the concert!
"Exit light, enter night. Take my hand; we're off to never-neverland.."
Meanwhile, Mr. Conductor sat on Toby's footplate, whistling 'Blueberry Hill'. He suddenly perks up.
"Whatever is the matter?" Inquired Toby.
"I-I don't know.. I feel.. a-"
Mr. Conductor suddenly disappeared.
Mr. Conductor landed in the Great Hall of the Colormen. He dusted off his blue jacket, checked his spats, and re-fastened his pocket watch chain.
"What the ____ is the meaning of this?"
Meanwhile, Diesel 11 and TGC were talking.
"I've an idea," said Diesel 11.
"What is it?"
"Let's all go to the Thomas Fan Forum! thomasfanforum.proboards.com "
TGC stared at him. "Shut up," he finally said. "Stop advertising, it makes me sick. BTW, someone stole one of your Numbered Diesels."
"WHAT?!" and Diesel 11 rushed away.
Meanwhile, Mr. Conductor was meeting the Colirmen who managed to teleport him to the great hall
"Hello there; don't worry, you're among friends here; they very fact that you can enter the Great Hall means you are a good man." The one in blue said
Mr Conductor looked around to find a few people dressed in monochrome jumpsuits standing around him.
"My name is Daniel, but my Title is Man In Blue; these are my associates Man In Gold, Man in Silver and Man in White. Don't worry; we only wanted to meet you"
"See; I told you he looked like that complaining comedian" man in white said.
"and I'm telling you that Mr Conductor looks like the Beatles drummer; I know, I've met him before!" Man in lavender said as he walked in
"Complaining comedian? What the ****?!"
The Colorfolk started to scream as their ears started to bleed. "Now you've done it!"
"****! Sorry about that!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh!!"
The writer remembered this was a kids show, and the censors made him undo that bit.
He picked up from man in lavender walking in.
"I'm telling you mr conductor looks like the Beatles drummer; I know, I've met him before!" Man in lavender said as he walked in.
"Ah, you must be thinking of my cousin, Mr. Ringo Starr Conductor. I am Mr. George Carlin Conductor. We also have another cousin, Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor, who is probably the most famous, but since he was in that hell of mess called Thomas and the Magic Railroad, we won't talk about him."
"Hey!" said Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor, who had just randomly appeared.
Meanwhile SOM, who hadn't made an appearance in some time, had gathered to meet their new hired mercenaries.
Raios stood up and said, "My comrades, welcome the help of these fine gentlemen whose greed and want of revenge has driven them to join our side. Our first two men for hire are another organization after VEC, Honeybadger and the Mole King from AVA..."
"That's a stupid name", shouted Yao
"I told you!", the Mole King told Honeybadger
But before the arguement could continue, Raios shouted, "Becquiet all of you, now these two might not entirely believe in our lord, but as the saying goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so with our help their goals can be achieved much faster, and look at their progress already", and Raios walked over to where three people were tied up. A man who looked passed out had duct tape over his mouth, and a young girl with an older woman.
The woman said, "I can't believe they got through the defenses around the cart"
The girl replied, "well we did move it to avoid seeing Shear again, plus we never put defensive spell's on the ground so their digging under us was totally unexpected"
The man woke up and said, "mnph mnph mnph mnph?" (Translation: where are we and why do I have duct tape over my mouth?"
Raios replied, "To keep you from saying spells, Qrow, or should I say the "Drunken Mystic", whose power is known for destroying whole countries, and your location... Your worst nightmare... Stein and Monet, take them away..."
"Yes Commander", the two replied and the five disappeared deeper into the underground cave system SOM uses as their base...
Raios said, "Finally, our last hired hitman is a legendary criminal known for getting the job done anyway possible and is want in 372 dimensions, Guttenberg Shippington Ventofolio the VI, or as he likes to call himself Gut for short..."
"So what do you want me to do... This dimension already bores me and I'm only here looking for my comrade, and this gig is only temporary so tell me before I die of boredom...", Gut replied
"We want you to cause some havoc get all the factions attention any means necessary... We want to show these idiots our lord is the strongest, got it", Said Raios
"Fine", and Gut imputed something on a strange wristband and teleported out of the base
"Why did you have to get the really strange to come work for us... We're starting to become VEC and not a powerful military force", Stein asked Raios
Raios replied, "Oh Stein, there's a method to my madness and sometimes you have to fight crazy with crazy... Soon my plan for my lord will become clear soon enough..."
Meanwhile, Heph and Vlad had somehow found their way into the 3WSR Universe. Man In Blue was walking past Heph, when suddenly....
"Goodness gracious me! It's the Colorfolks' ancestor!"
"Huh?"
"Yes! All of us stemmed from you and your wife."
"I don't have a wife."
The Writer explained the MIB about the Story Game.
"Hmm, interesting. Well, if you don't get back to that game fast, we're going to disappear!"
"What about me?" asked Vlad.
"Oh yes... you...."
Vlad went back with Heph when he saw the knife MIB pulled out.
Or rather, the Blade of Erdagovern.
"Hey, wait a second!" Man In Blue said. "Each Colorman lineage is its own bloodline, we're not all descended from the same individual! Granted, I don't deny some lineages may in fact be distant cousins, but still, that Heph fellow does seem familiar" he said.
Meanwhile, because we never properly finished this plot, D-11 was wrapping up his purchase of Diesel 9
"Would you like it gift-wrapped?" asked the cashier.
"I don't want to be gift wrapped!" Said Diesel 9
And so Diesel 9 was loaded onto a flatbed to be taken to Sodor.
Now we return to the present.
"W-where are my engines" D-11 said horrified; the numbered diesels really were gone.
"Percy Criddleton."
"Wait, what?"
Which Percy Criddleton is the real Percy Criddleton? Find out after these messages.
Get the Besteroni toothpaste! *ding*
"Oh, sorry, I was looking at the wrong page" the person said "So your real name is...Matthew Parker." the person (who I presume is Jenkins) said.
"Ok you got me; my real name is Matthew Parker; years ago there was an incident, long story short now there's people looking for me, so I took up the alias Diesel 11 to throw them off my trail; and it worked, they gave up on me a couple years ago, but I can't take the chance of going to back to matthew parker again." D-11 confessed
"I don't believe it" the person said in shock and amazement.
Diesel 11 started to laugh. "Ha-ha, got you Jenkins."
"Huh?"
"Those are my fake birth records."
"What, you forged a birth certificate and other important government documentation to pull a prank on me?"
"That's right, I created false government documents to... aw crud" Suddenly Diesel 11 was picked up by two comically oversized policemen
"(Insert his real name here), you are under arrest for falsifying documents" the policemen said as they carried him away.
"Uh oh" Jenkins said, scared.
"I did not falsify documents," said Diesel 11. "What I'm trying to say is that that is Not Diesel 11's birth certificate."
"Yes we know their not your birth certificates", said one of the officers
"But their Not Diesel 11's!", D-11 shouted
"You you mean the character... We still have to take you to jail..."
"WHY!?!?!", D-11 shouted again
"You broke continuity... We are the Contiuity Police and we've already established that Not Diesel 11 is an evil counterpart of you from another dimension so there's no way he has birth certificates in this dimension.."
So the Continuity Police took D-11 to Continuity Jail for the time being.
Wondering who the Continuty Police are, well the Writer got tired of so many continuities being broken in the story that he created this group to stop them. So watch out... If a character breaks continuity these two big fellas are going to drag that character to Continuity Jail.. Another dimension prison that holds continuity breakers for specified amount of time...
Meanwhile, Gut was talking to himself, "I wonder what I should do to get people's attention, if only Franz was here, franztheinformationperson was the best scout in our gang, why di the team have to split up after... THe Accident..."
Meanwhile, Toby was attempting to calm the others.
"Engines, please, I'm sure that Mr. Conductor is fine."
Henry and Edward peeped in unison.
"Quite right!"
"He is magical, after all."
The others were not convinced.
"But what if he isn't?" Trembled Percy.
"He could be in trouble." Murmured James.
Toby decided to eat a sandwich. "It is time for lunch," he thought, and promptly went to McDonald's.
Meanwhile, Mr. George Carlin Conductor and Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor had just been joined by Mr. Ringo Starr Conductor.
"Wait, engines don't eat!" and the writer instead had Toby take on coal.
In the great Hall, Mr Conductor (Carlin) and Mr Conductor (Baldwin), were suddenly joined by Mr Conductor (Starr)
"See, I told you Mr Conductor looked like the Beatles drummer!" Man in Lavender said.
"THREE Mr Conductors!?" Man In Silver said in shock
"That's it! I've had it!" said Man In Blue, who packed his bags, left the building, and went away to the Bahamas for vacation.
"Well then!" said Man In Gold.
Man In Blue came running back in furious. "Writer! Stop that! I would NEVER abandon my brethren! Especially now during this time of rebuilding!"
Deciding that it would be better to continue the Mr Conductor thing after Doc came back, the writer shifted focus to the numbered diesels search for Diesel 0.
Diesel 10 was leading the search.
"Right, now then, Diesel 8, you'll go to Culdee Fell and spread the word; if anyone saw anything, find it out. Diesel 1 and 2, you take the Little Western Branch. Diesel 4, you take the Brendham Branch. Diesel 5000 XL, get to the Fire and Rescue Co and tell Diesel 6 to spread the word among the authorities. 11 and 12, you two and me will search the main line. 13..." Just then, Diesel 13's engine began to smoke. "Uh, you stay here in case he comes back".
(If I recall, 16 was broad gauge)
"And as for you 16; sorry, but there's no broad gauge lines on Sodor; you'll have to stay here with 13."
And the engines set off.
"Darn," said Diesel 16, and promptly conjured up Lady and made her build a full-fledged broad gauge line. He set off.
"We can do that?" said Diesel 13, and realizing this, he conjured Lady up and made her unjinx/fix him. He set off.
The two of them subsequently woke up from dreams.
"What? But how?"
They read a note on the door:
"Sorry; that is a deux ex machina, plus we are still unsure of Lady's place in the 3WSR universe
-The Writer"
"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Diesel 16 said.
"Wait, there's more" Diesel 13 said.
"However, I do agree that you staying in the shed all the time is limiting your potential, so I've built some broad gauge lines for you. Be warned though, they don't go on the branch lines, and they only cover the main line."
"All right!" Diesel 16 said, and promptly set off.
"What about me?" Diesel 13 said.
"Oh, you're still jinxed, but don't worry, it's not a curse; you were built during an economic recession so your parts are just lower quality is all" the note finished.
Diesel 13 remembered "of course! Father (Reginald Walkins) was having money issues around the time I was built, he had to cut corners when I was built, and the recession only made it worse" it all made sense to him now.
"And I had to put you in the shed because with my money strained as it was, there was no funds to overhaul you" Walkins said as he walked in.
"Father... I don't hold it against you; but some higher quality parts and maybe I'd be fine" he said.
"I don't own you anymore; there's nothing I can do" Walkins lamented.
Meanwhile the Bronze Mage and the Blood Alchemist were having their annual luncheon since the reformation of VEC
"Pass the mustard will you Blood", asked the Bronze Mage
"Sure Bronze, I heard you have an eye on Priori if you now what I mean...", replied Hohenheim
"How did you find out?", asked the Bronze Mage
"Inferno told me... He wouldn't stop talking about seeing you two besides those mysterious maids he brought back", replied the Blood Alchemist
"Well then... Do you fancy anyone?", the Bronze Mage asked
"Well I do have maybe a little crush on... Vivian", responded the Blood Alchemist
"Oh Hohenheim you sneaky devil... Pass the salt will you..."
"Hey Sebastian, what's for dessert tonight!?" Bronze Mage called from the table.
"We have a great selection of pies sir; Apple, blueberry, pumpkin and peacan sir" he called from the kitchen.
"Great!"
Rodney came in. "Hey, I was..."
"By the way, Rod, from now on, you must call me 'Sir'."
Priori walked in a punched him.
MEANWHILE
AT THE VEC HEADQUARTERS
_
A knock comes at the door of the headquarters. A little man in a cassock and broad hat drops a box on the doorstep, and flees quickly, fitting in well with the dark shadows and mists.
In the box is a bloody ring - belonging to one of the most famous thieves in history, Flambeau D' Gusteacy.
The Bronze Mage opened the door. "What the hell? Someone left us a box."
He opened it. "It's nothing but a bloody ring!"
A small slip of paper lay at the bottom.
"It's a warning - your time is up - penance little, transgressions great."
The Bronze Mage wasn't unnerved in the slightest. "It's some practical joke," he thought.
BANG!
The Bronze Mage fell down. "Ooooo.." he moaned. He shut his eyes for the last time, and drew his last breath..
The man came back. He looked down.
"Oh dear.."
He - a priest - began the last rites.
Just then Priori walked up. "Now, then, th–OH MY GOSH!!!"
Father Brown, completing the rites, turned, and tipped his black broad hat.
"Good evening."
Just then, the Bronze Mage was shaken up from the dream by Hohenheim.
"Bronze, are you alright? You passed out after hearing the dessert menu from Sebastian and taking a bite from the Coquilles Saint-Jacques...", said the Blood Alchemist
"Oh sorry, I just scallops don't go well inside my stomach...", he replied
Meanwhile, a certain Mr. K. C. K. A. W. was working at the docks.
Father Brown, in actuality, waited on the steps of the VEC Headquarters.
"Right then," he said, "where is everyone?"
Inferno opened the door.
"Hello, welcome to Vile Evil Confederacy, where evil is not bad! Now open for breakfast. How may I help you?"
"Er, I'm sorry, but you must understand, I'm here for a cross. A stolen one, you understand."
Meanwhile, the Fat Controller was pacing the platform. He was waiting for a very special delivery.
It was a letter... A letter that gave him ownership of something special... This something was...
hot chocolate, specially made for Christmas.
"I do love Christmas," he thought as he waited. "The cookies, the eggnog, the pudding..."
Back at VEC, Inferno was confused.
"No one here would have any use for a cross... wait." He turned inside. "Could someone fetch Blackmagei, Priori, Darkstorm and Darkhart? Apparently one of them stole a cross." He turned back to Father Brown. "Those darn necromancers, always burning crosses to summon demons. Where do you come from?"
"I..." Father Brown was more than a little shocked.
"Never mind; here they are. Alright, which one of you did it?"
Darkhart nervously raised his hand.
Meanwhile, Diesel 10 had been dashing through the snow, in a one-claw open sleigh...
Over the rails he goes, growling all the way
He will not ever sing
his spirit is never bright
but what fun it is to ride the rails
on Island Sodor tonight
Oh!
Diesel 10 Diesel 10... eh, that's all I got
Diesel 10 promptly stopped daydreaming.
Meanwhile, Godred had gotten back into the groove of things since he'd come back to Sodor.
But we'll come back to that in a bit..
Raios was speaking to Yao.
"I would like you to have the Crimson Lotus Clan's top ninjas be send here. I require them for a special mission I have planned. The quicker they are here the sooner our plans may commence. You got that?", Raios commanded
"Yes Commander, my finest will be here shortly and will commence their operation..", Yao replied, and he left to make a call...
Meanwhile Sebaastian and Stein were have a discussion trying to get to know each other better.
"So what exactly is your star sign?", Stein asked
"I'm a Capricorn", replied Sebaastian
"Of course you are..."
Meanwhile...
Sebastian the chef was making fruitcake for the VEC since it was nearing Christmas time
"Does anyone here actually like fruitcake?" Heather, his sous chef, asked.
"No idea; but it's orders from the Bronze Mage, so I'm not questioning them" he said as he put the next set of loaves in the oven.
The Culdee Fell engines had welcomed Godred back, and the passengers loved to see him, as he was someone they'd thought they'd never see.
Christmas decorations were being put up, and the railway looked great.
Godred was welcomed back with open arms and the Culdee Fell Railway celebrated his return for three straight days and nights until on he fourth day Mr. Richards yelled at them to get back to work...
Meanwhile on the Aresdale Railway, Mike was about to crash. Rex and Bert were attempting to shovel sand into Jock's funnel to prank him.
He never woke up.
Suddenly Frank the Small Railway Diesel woke up...
"That was a really strange dream... Hey Writer could you feature us more in the game... You give all the screentime to Culdee fell and never us.. I get jealous easily you know..."
The Writer responded, "Well excuse me you have now appeared in the TV Series but not them, plus your breaking character, Continuity Police!", and the Continuity Police jumped onto Frank..
"We hereby arrest you under the grounds of breaking the Fourth Wall when you're not authorized to do so... Only important characters are allowed by decree of the Writer.. You're going to Continuity Jail..."
"Wait NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", shouted Frank as the two officers opened up a portal and placed him in a jail cell designed to hold engines.
When he arrived he was in the cell next to D-11...
D-11 said to him, "So they got you too huh... Welcome to the Big House... Don't drop the so... Um.. Nevermind..."
Diesel 11 had it. He broke out of his cell, and went to find a certain Tugboatfan4...
But the Continuity Police said, "Ahem your sentence hasn't ended yet... We were going to let you free in the next post, but I think we'll have to extend your sentence for bad behavior... This isn't Shawshank bud..", and the two officers, who the Writer decided to call Stabler and Benson, took D-11 back to jail...
Meanwhile.. Father Brown was reading 'The History of the Early Church', sucking on root beer drops.
Frank the Diesel was let out by the writer... turns out there was an Arlesdale plot planned in the future and Rex, Bert, Mike, Jock AND Frank would need to be present; so he would be released on a technicality, as long as he behaved.
"As you wish" and Frank took his place on the railway.
Meanwhile all the jumping around confused the writer, so he rolled a die to determine the plot to continue with.
"Ok... lost Diesel 0; better finish that up so we can work on the others"
The numbered Diesels were searching everywhere; they had covered at least half the island so far, and had few leads. But in a warehouse hidden in a very old and bad part of the Wharf... Two very familiar Green-Eyed Tugs were keeping him hostage hung up inside the said warehouse...
"Where could he be?" asked Diesel 1.
"It's a ****ing problem, I tell you!" said Diesel 5000 XL.
Then, a lead came to Jenkins...
Jenkins went to Diesel 11, the engine, and told him what he had heard...
"It seems Rusty spotted an object that seems to be Diesel 0 on a barge in the canals at the Wharf, I have no idea how he got there but I must make a call for a favor..", and Jenkins left...
"Hello? Is this the owner of Diesel 9?", Jenkins asked into the phone...
"Jenkins! Tell this stupid police-thing to set me free!"
"I'm sorry, but I have some matters to take into my hands." CGT had arrived, and pulled out a cyan stone. D-11 disappeared, and reappeared in the Dimensional Colorfolk prison. CGT teleported out of continuity prison to avoid the Conti-Nazi.
Meanwhile, TGC felt something weird. He pulled a red stone out of his pocket. "CGT used one of the stones..." TGC said. He tried to use the red stone but it didn't work. "Darn! I need to find the green, yellow, and purple stones before CGT does and uses them, D-11 is going to be killed in 3 days max, luckily I only have to find the green one to do that... But if CGT gets the yellow and purple ones all the D-11s will be in danger..." TGC ran off to find the stones.
The Writer was furious at D-11, "Jeez D-11 why do you keep breaking continuity... But I'll let it slide since a new plot is forming... But how did CGT break into Continuity Jail, it's in another dimension... Argh so many continuity errors...."
Anyways back to the real phone call...
"Yes this is Robert Portman", Portman replied
"My boss is in the process of buying your locomotive correct?", replied Jenkins
"Yeah, and if you were asking on borrowing on him to work, sorry he doesn't run at the moment", Portman answered
"Oh sorry for disturbing you then..", Jenkins said
"No problem and Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas", and Jenkins hung up the phone, what was he going to do...
Diesel 9 was bright to the numbered diesels shed; without those parts, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Meanwhile the VEC was putting up with Owl Man's off key singing
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly"
"Someone make him shut up!" And lightning man threw a boot at him.
"Joy to the world,
The horns is come.
Let earth,
Receive,
Her king!"
"No. Try something else." Said Chessmaster.
"Away in a ufttfsbdu,
No corpse for a bed,
The little Great Horned Beast,
Lay down his horned head..."
"No! Damn it, Bronzie, don't you understand the importance of seasonal advertising?"
"There's too much religious posturing this time of year. Maybe try something without the Horned One?" Offered Blackmagei.
"What, shall we call it 'winter holiday', too? How dare you suggest such blasphemy!" Said Inferno.
"Ooh! I got it!" Said the Bronze Mage.
"Come, they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
a Great Horned Beast to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
Corpses of our enemies pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
To lay before our king pa-rum-pum-pum-"
"NO!" Yelled Chessmaster. "What is this!? We are not comic relief!"
"Said the night wind to the murderer,
Have you killed who I-"
"GAHHHHH! Someone else write the Christmas commercial! Get Tim in here, and Deathnote. They're halfway decent at this."
Just then, Rodney came running in, looking scared.
"That'll have to wait; we've got a problem!" He said.
"What's wrong?" Bronze Mage said.
"Lightning man and captain Dynamo, they were practicing their electricity attacked, and..."
They came walking in, stuck to each other.
"There was a sudden static build up between the two, and now they are stuck clinging together; no matter what we do we cant get them apart!"
Rodney finished.
While most of the VEC were trying to think of removing the two of them, the Blood Alchemist sat on a balcony sipping a glass of red wine under the falling snow....
"Christmas... Wait great memories you bring to me..", Hohenheim said to himself sarcastically as he sipped his glass...
Just then Vivian walked up to him and asked, "Hey Hohenheim, why do you seem all depressed?"
The Blood Alchemist responded, "I'm just remembering my past experiences as a Colormen during this time of year... I don't know whether I should hate those memories or enjoy them... Plus, being an Alchemist never really say well with the Church's ideologies, so this time of year can be a little awkward for me..."
"Well your not alone on that front, we magicians feel the same way, and really the only reason we celebrate the holiday is to atract new members and to make fun of actual non-believers of the Horned One.."
"Yeah your right..", and Hohenheim chuckled after replying
"Just remember us villains have each other now, ever since VEC was refounded, life has gotten better for people like us... It's way better now then from when it was first founded...", Vivian replied
"Yeah two many conflicting ideas back then... Good thing all of us had 400 years to cool our heads and learn to cooperate together..", said the Blood Alchemist
"Yeah", replied Vivian as the two laughed
"So come on back to the party"
"I will after I do this...", and Hohenheim kissed her, while Vivian's face turn red...
"I'm sorry, I have no idea what came over m-", was all the Blood Alchemist could say before Vivian slapped him and returned to her room...
Hohenheim gave chase, but neither of them realized they had become influenced by mysterious Christmas mistletoe above them...
Meanwhile, everyone was still trying to figure out how to separate captain Dynamo and lightning man.
Inferno tried using a crowbar, but the elevtricty traveled through the metal and shocked him.
"Well that didn't work, any other ideas?"
One of the janitors held up a bottle of downy. "How about fabric softener?" He suggested.
"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" Captain Dynamo screamed.
"Uh... I don't want to alarm you captain Dynamo... But I went all out on the triple bean burritos for lunch; I had like eight of them." Lightning man said.
A look of mortal terror was in captain dynamo's face.
Just then a gurgling noise came from Lightning Man's stomach, "Oh no", was all he could say before he ran to the bathroom, dragging Captain Dynamo with him.
After that, all that was heard from the two was the sound of death itself and moaning coming from inside the bathroom and screams from Captain Dynamo saying, "Oh God why did it have to be me!"
Derrick the Janitor said, "we're gonna need to call a plumber and replace a lot of toilet paper... But I can already lots of scrubbing and vomit in my future.."
Tyler, the other janitor, shook his head in agreement.
"Orb of Cleaning!"
There was a flash of light, and Vivian walked in, brushing her hands together.
"Take the rest of the day off," she said to the janitors. "And by the way, Lighting Man and Captain Dynamo... I ship Lynamo."
"We never should have shown her Fanfiction.net" said the Bronze Mage.
"You know, I can see it." Said Chessmaster.
"Hey, I've got a girlfriend you know!" Captain Dynamo said. "I'm just glad she's not here to see this." He added under his breath.
"Wait! I got it!" And Catherine went off to get a metal hangar.
She came back and rubbed it in between the two where there clothes met, and the two came unstuck.
"I don't believe it, it worked!" Captain Dynamo said.
"I feel so relieved...ugh, no I don't!" And suddenly he ran into the bathroom again.
Meanwhile, Nesseterina was being held prisoner by #8135A.
I can't remember much about numbers lady, so we cut to VEC76 and the evil doubles.
"Haha! We've successfully taken over the minds of four of the authors! Frank remains out ofour grasp, but not for long! Let's ruin the story!"
1 day tHomas and Bob (oc DO NOT STEAL U N00BS!!!1!!!!1!!) we're at teh stateeon
rosie is hot sed bob. I want to-
"No!" And Toz lunged at VEC76.
Suddenly, with a blinding burst of darkness, a voice cried, "I have you now, Toz!" It was... THE SCHNOZ!!
Just then, frank appeared in front of Toz and VEC76; turns out the Schnoz isn't a character in this story, it was actually Frank.
"Frank! Help me!"
"You got it!" Frank pulled out a button, and pressed it; and a giant safe fell on top of VEC76
"Don't worry Toz; you're safe now... No pun intended" Frank assured his friend.
"Ooooo.." moaned VEC76.
Toz stood up.
"Is he going to die?" Toz asked
"No, no one dies in this story... They just get really bad boo-boos." Frank explained.
"What about the Man in Egyptian Blue? He's 97 you know"
"Oh, yes, but it won't be in combat or anything like that; after he gets a major arc we'll let him go peacefully." Frank explained
"I see; so when will that arc happen?"
"Probably after we wrap up some of these plots; we've got a lot going on." Frank observed.
"Say, where Is your evil counterpart anyway?" Toz asked.
"Oh, I took care of Franz weeks ago" Frank smirked.
*meanwhile, in a tesseract, lying between dimensions*
I'll get you for this frank! I'm your evil self! Opposite to you in every way! You may be friendly, polite, intelligent, have a healing factor, have access to hammer-space and be genre Davy, but as your opposite that make me.... Darn it! I get the bad traits!" He kicked the ground in frustration.
But back on Sodor...
the Mountain Engines were working hard for the holiday season.
Since the party for Godred's return had lost a large sum of money for the Mountain Railway, they were working extra hard to make up for their extravagant time wasted...
The engines had no concerns. They were just glad that their No.1 was back. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that the railway was going out of business...
The traffic the railway had was plenty though, so money was coming in to save it.
Meanwhile, diesel 12 had gotten to the wharf where he saw it.
"diesel 0; there he is! But why is he on a barge?"
Then, a hole opened underneath them, and they fell in.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!"
But in reality it was water spilling into the barge from the active waves in the canal. Diesel 12 raced after the barge but due to the heavy snow falling, he lost it when it disappeared away from his track. The last image he saw before it vanished in the falling snow was a strange, eerie green lights that seemed to come from the front of the boat towing the barge...
Meanwhile, VEC headquarters was swamped... literally.
It seems a certain "someone's" bowels couldn't be handled by the base's plumbing, and since it was built on top of a swamp, it overflowed into the base itself...
The Bronze Mage was most annoyed. "Dang it!" he said. "Why on earth must we
"Ugh! My pen broke!"
A minute later, the writer returned with a new pen and began writing again.
Derrick and Tyler the janitors came in. They sighed, put on gas masks and Hazmat suits and began cleaning up.
"What a mess!" they said. "This won't do at all!"
It seems the construction of Diablo Tower will have to be put on hold until this mess is sorted out... Maybe this is a warning for future events? Who knows... Only time will tell...
Meanwhile...
Jack the Ripper had returned, and was causing some problems.
Yes the notorious Jack the Ripper, who in actuality was named Steve and the only things he ripped were shirts since he always wore shirts to small for him. He had planed on signing up for VEC, but due to their base's crisis, were not accepting members for the time being...
So that left him out on the streets, trying to find another shirt to kill.
Unfortunately, he stepped into some quicksand. "****," he groaned.
But the quicksand was only an inch deep, so he stepped out, and decided his best option to join VEC, after giving up on the D-11 gig, was to camp outside of Diablo Tower, so Steve pinched a tent and began his wait...
Good for him.
While this happened, there were bigger problems. Man In Blue was being attacked by Cubii (including Xex, Doomboy, and Cutebunny, as well as two more named Gennaro and Beardsley).
"Help! Please!"
But no one wanted to help.
"Um... I have to wax my cat." Said Man In White.
"I have to contact my colorman ancestors for advice." Said Man In Silver.
"I have to feed my Oblivious Quivious." Said Man In Gold.
"I have to go do some depressing subplot where I battle my guilt for what I did while evil."Said Man In Black.
"I have to go get my first speaking role." Said Man In Gan Green.
"I have to pee." Said Man In Pink.
"I have to throw a brick in the air and wait 5000 posts." Said Man In Orange.
"We have to, uh, go give our pet orangutan a bath." Said Man and Woman in Yellow.
"I have to go write an angry letter about how long Season 19 is taking to air." Said Man In Gamboge.
"I have to clean the gutters."
"I have to destroy ISIS."
"I have to go pick up that lampshade from the site
store."
"I have to sneeze- ACHOO!"
"Help!!!!!!!"
Meanwhile, CGT was getting ready to look for the other stones. CGT walked over to a tomb before getting kicked in the back of the head, CGT got up and turned around.
"Ah, Wellsworth, we meet again." CGT said.
"You will not get that stone." Wellsworth said.
"And why?"
"This is why" Wellsworth pulled out a green stone and used it on CGT, turning him into a thick paper sculpture, but CGT broke out into hundreds of paper versions of himself.
"You are outnumbered." CGT said.
"Not Quite" said Wellsworth as he used the green stone again, and TGC, Toz, Frank, Tug, and Doc Knickerbocker appeared behind him.
"We are still outnumbered in terms of actual beings, but we outnumber you in strength" TGC said.
"D-11 is being executed immediately." CGT said.
The writers had 10 minutes to defeat CGT and get through the tomb to find the Purple stone.
TGC pulled out a large sword that he could only holfwith 2 hands. "I knew that video game item transferrer would come in handy someday."
"Wait, paper? I got just the thing."
And Frank pulled a flamethrower out of hammerspace
Frank used the flamethrower but one of the CGTs simply pulled out his hand and the fire went around, lighting all the other CGTs on fire. CGT then simply pulled his hand into a fist and the CGTs formed into a large ball of fire which rocketed at Frank, knocking him out. CGT turned his hand and the other CGTs were extinguished.
"He's definitely got writer powers." TGC said.
"Yes, when you killed VEC76 and Franz their power was added to mine!" CGT said.
"I know just what to do." Toz said. "I can tell his weakness is creativity, similar to one of the beasts in the AGF dimension, our normal attacks won't do much. I think he can also change forms at will once he is turned into them once" CGT sank through a crack in the floor down to another level. "TGC, Doc, you go down the right path, Toz and I will go down the left." Wellsworth said.
Frank woke up much sooner than expected.
CGT was shocked "What?! How did you?!"
"Hey, weren't you paying attention to my introduction? I have a healing factor, i recover from injuries 2400% faster than normal" Frank pointed out. "Oh, and you can't have Franz's powers; he's not dead."
"What?! Of course I have his powers! Why wouldn't I?"
"Like I said earlier; Franz is trapped in a tesseract. Though I suppose you could argue he is dead since he'll never escape it, and VEC76 just has big boo boos, he's not dead either, so really, I think you are just..."
"QUIET!" And he shot an energy blast at Frank... which he subsequently recovered from.
"I say I have their powers and that is that!" CGT fumed.
"Whatever you say." Frank then pulled a smoke bomb out, and disappeared in the cloud to find his companions.
The other writers were...
Proceeding to fight their other dimensional counterparts...
Tug had somehow fallen down a hole after arriving, he had been working on his plans for his crazy Sea Train idea when he was teleported here. When he opened his eyes, he saw a familiar, but different face in front of him...
"Hello my doppelgänger...", said the mysterious person...
"Who are you?", Tug asked
"I'm Guttenberg Shippington Ventofolio the IV, also known as Gut, and I'm a wanted inter-dimensionsal criminal, and I'm here to get revenge for trapping my partner..", responded the man called Gut
"How exactly?", Tug asked again
"By destroying you of course..", and Gut pulled out an entire barrage of weapons that were hidden on his back...
"Figures my counterpart would be open with his name and a wanted criminal...", Tug said quietly
"Too bad for you, once I end you, your friends will be next...", Gut said as he laughed manically
"The one thing you should know about me is I'm not just a mechanical engineer, I'm a former member of the Ice Emperor Syndicate...", Tug replied
"So what?", Gut questioned
"It means I can fight!", and Tug ran up to Gut, punched him in the face, and revealed two knives from within his sleeves...
"Well this got interesting..", said Gut and the two proceeded to begin a showdown...
Toz was floating on a hoverboard made of Toz (the energy... to avoid confusion, the mystical energy force I control will now be called Toze, or Toz energy).
"You know, I expected my evil double to be more intimidating. You're nothing but an advertising slogan!"
"So you think!"
A change came over VEC76. His armor changed from black and yellow to red and gold. His mask disappeared. When the transformation was complete, he was...
"No! Grammar Police! Anyone but you..."
Grammar Police attacked Toz viciously. Toz summoned some Toze, but Grammar Police punched right through it.
"I feed off your life force, Toz! There is no escape! DIDINUATE!"
GP shot a ray of light at Toz's head. Toz fell back and landed in a pile of Toze. The Toze lapped around him as if it were absorbing him.
"Haha! Do you know what that spell did? Soon you will..."
Right before Toz was completely engulfed in the healing cocoon, he pointed at GP and spoke one word... "Destroy."
The Toze that wasn't contained in the cocoon turned towards Grammar Police. This man had hurt the master. He would pay.
While this happened, another set of evil doubles duked it out...
TGC had found CGT and was trying to fight off his different forms, he kept changing forms until TGC was stabbed by his metal form right in the chest. TGC closed his eyes and saw 6 lights, green, red, blue, yellow, purple, and cyan. They changed to a solid form, the colors divided into sections on a medalion. The red and blue stones floated out of TGC's pocket, the cyan one from CGT, the green one from Wellsworth, and at the abandoned forum the mask started floating. They all appeared in front of TGC's stabbed body, with the Purple stone floating out of the mask and the yellow one out of a tomb, they floated into the mask and the mask landed on TGC's face. TGC stood up, his Biggoron sword turning into a cyan and yellow sword, his clothes turning purple and blue, and the mask changing to red and green, TGC spun his sword and stabbed CGT,the hole got bigger until CGT was gone completely, TGC fainted from exhaustion.
Meanwhile, man in blue was furious;
"Stop acting out of character and help me already!!" He fumed. "And you don't have a cat, white!"
"I adopted one of the kittens! But yes, you're right, attack!"
The cubinwere suddenly surrounded and attacked by several Colormen... Until man in Capri managed to trap the cuvi under a giant fishbowl.
"I think I'm finally getting the hang of these powers!" Capris said excitedly.
At the same time Frank was thinking "hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't have trapped Franz in that tesseract weeks prior to this plot; kinda makes for lazy writing and destroys a lot of potential... Eh, nothing I can do about it; once a tesseract is made it can't be undone" he shrugged.
He took out a chalkboard, and decided to help his friends. To distract the bad guys he scratched the chalkboard, creating that hideous screeching sound no one likes.
TGC woke up and ran into the room with Toz and Grammar police, and punched Grammar Police launching him across the room.
"You aren't quite done with us yet." a voice said.
TGC turned around. "TheGuysCast!" TGC said, the effects of the mask wearing off. TheGuysCast ran towards TGC but TGC fell on the mask, pressing the medalion, the 6 triangles on the medalion separated, while still on the mask, the mask, TGC, Toz, Doc, and Tug all teleported to the prison to free D-11, but they ran into another person.
"TheGuysCast2!" TGC said, as TheGuysCast1 teleported behind the four in the hallway. Frank tried to summon something with Hammerspace but TheGuysCast2 grabbed Frank's arm. TGC closed his eyes and thought far back to the beginning...
...One day Thomas went to pick up a freight train at the Quarry. He backed up towards his line of freight cars and was prepared to leave, but something didn't feel quite right...
..."I say that enough is enough." and he pulled out a remote control and pressed rewind; he didn't release the button until Thomas was back at the Quarry...
"The remote!" TGC said, putting his hand over his ear and entered a call.
"Don? Are you there?" TGC asked.
"Yes, I was written out a while ago,I'm in a cell and all I have is this thing labelled "Hammerspace accessor"" Don said.
"Yes! Grab the remote from the beginning through there and then put it back while thinking of me." TGC said.
Don did what TGC said and TGC grabbed the remote from the air.
"I'm dissapearing..." Don said.
"That means your final purpose in this story has been fulfilled. Goodbye Don." TGC said before the call ended.
By then TGC was being transported to the prison where D-11 was being kept. TGC pulled out the remote and pointed it at TheGuysCast2, and pressed the play button, causing a laser to go straight through TheGuysCast2's head, TheGuysCast1, now just TheGuysCast teleported away. TGC ran over to D-11's sell and melted the lock with the laser.
"Let's go now, we have other arcs to finish." TGC said before the 5 teleported away.
Meanwhile, things were getting back.
"Where the @#$% is Diesel 0?!" cried Diesel 5000 XL.
Meanwhile VEC only had their upper floors operational, and we're stuck on them while Derrick and Tyler pumped the swamp water out of the lower levels of the base...
"This is going to severely limit recruiting for the time being", the Bronze Mage said
"Yeah, it would be horrible if someone tried to join us while this was going on...", replied Owl Man
During this time, Steve the Ripper was sitting outside Diablo Tower waiting....
Anyways, the Blood Alchemist was still trying to figure out how to see Vivian after the Makeout fiasco the other day...
"Man for being over 400 years, I'm acting like a teenager..", he said to himself, feeling love for the first time, Hohenheim had no idea what to do with his feelings...
So he decided to examine his heart. RIP!
Figuratively, of course...
Meanwhile the Colormen, who surprisingly haven't made an appearance in a while, were...
Getting ready for Christmas.
Man in reddish green was excitedly decorating the great hall, eager for Christmas to come.
"Same thing every Christmas" man in blue observed
"Can you blame him? He loves the holidays" man in silver pointed out.
Meanwhile, the Dimensional Colormen were trying to cover up for the loss of CGT. "He was our strongest member, now we hardly have any strength left." Dimensional Man In Mauvish Shade of Purpley-Orange said. "You seem to have forgotten about 'it'." Dimensional Man In Blue said. "Oh, yes of course." DMIMSOPO said. Meanwhile, Toz and Frank were getting character development.
"So Toz how's it going being an energy force and fixing universal mistakes when the writer messes up?", asked Frank
"Fine, how's that venture into being a PI?", Toz asked in response
"That kinda went bad after cases stopped flowing in, Tug and I went on to form an engineering company from the ashes, but business has been slow since Tug went to work on his crazy Sea Train idea.. I've mostly been just hanging out looking for something to do...", replied Frank
"Want to go check on TGC so we can finally end this adventure and get rid of the doubles, probably, for good?", asked Toz
"Sure", Frank responded as the duo left on Toz's flying carpet to go find TGC...
Toz suddenly pointed out that he didn't have a flying carpet, and was still in the Toze Healing Chamber anyway. Frank began falling...
As this happened, Woman In Orange was talking to her mom.
"What happened to you?"
"My legs were chopped off by Deathnote. I need you to get as many prisms as possible so you can heal me and go back to normal."
"They said you were evil!"
"I've learned my lesson. Now go!"
Woman In Orange took multiple trips to get 400 prisms into a blue pickup truck that her mom had parked out front. When the truckbed was full, she called out: "Are you ready to be healed?"
"Why yes, my dear."
Woman In Orange looked out to see her mom, with her legs and everything, in a super-cool evil outfit.
"I am...Vengeance Bringer!"
Suddenly, 30 or so women in green popped out of the bushes.
"I'd like to introduce Femme Dans Vert and the VERT-I-GOES. All the French Colorwomen with Vert in their color quit when the other Couluerfemmes joined forces with some "Braniac". Now, they work for me..."
Suddenly, Femme Dans Vert De Hooker and Femme Dans Vert D'eau jumped onto the truck. Femme Dans Vert and Vengeance Bringer leapt in too, and the truck drove off. Woman In Orange ran in hot pursuit, but the other VERT-I-GOERS were on her tail. They weren't using any spells for fear they'd miss and hit the truck. Woman In Orange decided to use this to her advantage.
She quickly used her most powerful attack- a ray of frost. Femme Dans Vert Kaki, Femme Dans Vert Lime, and Femme Dans Vert Lichen fell to the ground shivering, but the others were gaining. With a flying leap, she jumped onto the back of the truck and he held on.
Femme Dans Vert Pin, the second-in-command of the VERT-I-GOERS, told the others to open fire, while she and Femme Dans Vert Anis jumped on next to her and prepared to attack. Femme Dans Vert De Vessie shot a fireball at Woman In Orange, but she curled into a ball and used the force of the explosion to land in the truckbed- and stab herself with a Prism. Ouch!
Vert Pin and Vert Anis waved the others off, and climbed in after our heroine. Woman In Orange grabbed the Prism she had hurt herself with and used it as a shield, but the two French Colorfolk were getting closer. Suddenly, the spirit of that prism (hereafter Prism of Pain) took action. A burst of energy sent Vert Anis over the side, and Vert Pin was wounded.
Suddenly, a shadow loomed. It was Woman In Orange's mom, Vengeance Bringer, and Femme Dans Vert.
"You die now," said Femme Dans Vert, the only French Colorwomen who could speak English.
The last thing she saw before the Prism of Pain teleporting her to safety made her lose conciousness was her mom's rage-filled face.
Meanwhile...
Man In White, who had been watching everything from the Helmet of Cronk, gave the signal.
"Do it, now!" the Colormen tactician said. "i hope this works" he said; after all, he only had three minutes to act the moment the helmet showed him what was going on.
The Colormen went on the counterattack. In front of the fleeing truck a giant suddenly appeared.
"MAN IN CERULEAN!?" Vengeance bringer gasped. In one mighty strike of the giant spike, he slammed down on the truck, bringing it to a brutal crash and sending Vengeance Bringer flying, man In Cerulean caught several of the stolen prisms as they went flying, while others remained in the truck.
About 40 other Colormen suddenly appeared as several French Colorwomen, while most retreated, those that stayed behind suddenly found themselves surrounded... and trapped in a giant fishbowl.
"Ha! Now I can conjure 8 at once!" Man In capris said proudly... despite having trapped himself in one too.
Man In White at last appeared.
"It looks like we recovered a good deal of them, but not all of them... no doubt Cerulean wasn't able to capture all the ones that went flying."
The Colormen assessed the situation, and then returned to the Great Hall when all was controlled.
(later)
Man In Blue gathered the Colormen, and whichever Colorwomen could make it, in the Great Hall meeting area.
"...these Prisms were on the floor which I explicitly made clear no one is allowed to enter. The Prisms here are a great power, and it is our responsibility to make sure it never falls into the wrong hands, even though our research shows that prism power used for evil is significantly weaker than prism power used for good. Now I want to make this clear, no one, under any circumstances, is allowed to remove any of the other prisms without first consulting the Colormen as a whole; we cannot risk any more of these prisms getting out into the world, and if this happens again, I will have no choice but to seal the floor again."
After the meeting, Man In Blue went to see Woman In Orange.
"You have a lot of explaining to do" he said, looking at her. "You were tricked, weren't you?"
"Yeah she told me she was injured and needed the power of those prisms to heal herself..", replied the Woman in Orange
"Alright then, please don't do that again, we don't want you to blame yourself if the prisms fell in to the wrong hands, so check with us next time you do something like that, ok?", the Man in Blue responded
"Ok.."
Meanwhile, we cut away to a dockside railway....
The Locomotive, for its size, is the most powerful vehicle on land, and the Steam Engine is the power behind the passenger and goods trains that make up a big city railway. This is TRAINS.
"No it isn't." Toz said, with a look on his face that said "Useless post"
But a recent income of emails complaining about the lack of attention the engines were getting made the writer decide to shift focus to the Sudrian engines.
Sir Topham Hatt had arranged a meeting with TGC; he wanted to know if any of his rescued steam engines were eager to participate in the steam festival, and if others were shy and rather be left out.
"he should be here any moment" Hatt said to himself.
TGC arrived. "What a small building!" he said. "This won't do at all."
"I think it's nice," said STH.
"Humph," said TGC. "Whatever is that rubbish?"
The rubbish turned out to be STH's stamp collection.
"Wait, small building? They're at Knapford!" The writer erased that last bit.
"Sir Topham Hatt, good to see you again."
"Likewise TGC; now, about your engines, which ones will be In the steam festival?"
"All of 'em. Every dill pickle of an engine will be there!"
"We've got him!" he said.
BOOM!!
"Why did you say boom?"
"Uh... What was the plan again?"
"Arg!" And he bolted out the door
"Ok, I got my burger... Say, where did TGC go?" Hatt asked.
Just then, TGC walked up to Sir Topham Hatt. "Sorry I'm late, got held up by a teleporting phone box, so, all my engines will be arriving at the festival." "You said that a minute ago before I went to get a burger without a pickle!" Sir Topham Hatt said. "That must mean..." TGC ran off to find TheGuysCast
At the same time, Frank had just recovered from his fall.
"Jeez, that was way too confusing. Now then, I suppose I should check on my ammunition factory I haven't been to in a while."
So Frank boarded a train and went to go check it.
Meanwhile...
Sgt. York had everything in range. "Alright," he thought, "now I'll just–"
"STOP! In the name of the King!"
He looked up. There stood King Godred.
Sergeant York immediately woke up and said, "Man I got to stop falling asleep while on duty...", and he went back into position at his post...
Meanwhile, the Blood Alchemist finally had come to a decision, he decided he would try out this "love thing" and would ask Vivian out on a date and go with it from there....
"Let's hope this works...", said Hohenheim as he approached Vivian...
"Vivan?", asked the Blood Alchemist
"Yes Blood what is it?", responded Vivian
"Will you go on a date with me?", asked the Blood Alchemist...
Vivian responded in the affirmative; they would work out the details later.
Around that time, Man in blue was sealing the floor with the prisms again; he had no choice.
"We cannot allow even one more prism out in the world; we have to get them back." He concluded.
He went to see Man In white.
"I've sealed the floor again; from now on only you, me, gold, and silver can access it. Anyway, what was the count?" Blue asked
White looked over the report "of the 400 prisms, we were able to recover 257 of them..."
"Wow only that much, well this is bad", replied the Man in Blue
meanwhile...
35 Colormen had been dispatched to the area where the encounter occurred; they were searching everywhere for stray prisms from the accident. They had found some of them, but not all of them.
"You know what I don't get" Man In Scarlet asked. "The Prism that powers us is 4 feet by 2 feet by 2 feet. Which is pretty big if you think about it, so why are we finding it so hard to find these missing prisms?" he asked aloud
"Because the smaller prisms are 5 inches by 3 inches by 3 inches", replied the Man in Green
"Oh... That's small.."
Man In Blue eventually was forced to call off the search.
"90 prisms are still missing. Coupled with the 160 that were stolen earlier, that means they have 240 prisms."
"Actually, 250."
"Sorry, I can't math today. Or something. Anyhoo, what do we do?"
"I wouldn't worry too much. They're saving 200 prisms for the Horn Thing, so they'll only have fifty to use against us." Pointed out Man In Steel.
"Be as it may, they're becoming a real threat."
"Oh, come on! They're comic relief! Everyone knows Metalicana is the real villain."
"I thought it was Brainiac."
"Do we even know about them yet?"
"They aren't comic relief, any more than I'm lactose intolerant." Said Man In Cream. "They're just frequently written out of character."
"Does this include the one that Woman In Orange is not-so-inconspicuously hiding under her bed?"
Meanwhile, Woman In Orange had several items in a sack on her bed. They included her artifact, the Orange Ring, a Hornby James, and the Prism of Pain.
"No going back now. If I'm going to stop my mom, I need to do this."
She grabbed her artifact and chanted "Fook Eutrops Cun'rartrips Fliunig!" Before tapping the Prism with it.
The Prism shattered into six pieces.
Suddenly, the spell took action, banishing all living members of the Woman In Orange Lineage from Sodor for 400 years or until 6 months after the Prism of Pain is repaired, whichever comes first. Luckily, lack of a morality check prevented the creation of an anchor for this prism.
Woman In Orange landed on the beach near the Vicarstown Rolling Bridge. She had grabbed the sack, and all six pieces, the Hornby James, and her artifact were safe inside of it. She looked up to see Gordon crossing the Vicarstown Bridge, and felt a wave of sadness wash over her, but stopped herself. She was Madeline Bright, Woman In Orange! Nothing got her down! She would simply move in with her friend Stella Breckin. She would put the spare piece of the Prism of Pain in Hornby James and make a device to solve all the world's problems- like an upgraded Bachmann Edward! Her boyfriend could still visit her, and besides, her main goal had been accomplished. She was not the only member of her lineage to get banished from Sodor.
A little ways down the beach, Vengeance Bringer lay in the sand, screaming one word: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
As if this post wasn't depressingly dramatic enough, at that very moment Sir Topham Hatt's doctor said this shocking phrase:
"You need to start dieting."
Meanwhile, members of the VEC were having a rather philosophical discussion.
"Well, I think that character is such a dynamic thing, and people can change."
"That may be, but it is ridiculous to always be a way you are not."
"So what of being out of character?"
"Well it is kind of hard to be in character when so many of us lack character in the first place."
"I thought we were pretty well developed?"
"The VEC as a whole is, as are guys like bronze Mage, but most of us lack character, so it's had to stay in character when we don't know how to be ourselves."
"Take me for example. I am the general, I have a squeaky voice, but now I can talk normally when need be. I'm a great commander, but that says nothing about me as a person. Am I s gentleman? A sadist? A miser? Adventurous? What is my character, how do I act?"
"Or me, Doctor Lazer. All we know about me is my power and trading, I could be an anxious mess for all I know!"
"At least you r got something to go off of. Cracker Jack, yours truly, and Cracker Jill, we've got nothing but names at this point. I mean, what our abilities, let alone our personalities?!"
"And don't even get me started on Mark; have we even mentioned him since recruiting?"
"Ugh, for all we know we could be philosophical, what are we?" The member asked as at last, they just stared at each other, and tried to make sense of just who they were.
While this was going on, the Blood Alchemist was seated at a table across from Vivian trying out "their date". It was on the nicest balcony of the still under construction Diablo Tower and Sebastian was the chef of the evening. They Hohenheim even convinced Rodney the Intern to be the waiter for their evening...
"I better get extra hours for this..", Rodney said under his breath, "hello sir, madam, may I interest you in the specials this evening, they were specifically handpicked for the two of you?"
"Yes, we'll have the blood soaked steak with a glass of red wine each please...", the Blood Alchemist replied
"Alright away then sir, I'll return shortly with your order..", and Rodney left for the Kitchen while releasing a silent sigh of relief...
"So how is your experience so far?", asked Hohenheim to Vivian nervously. He might have been playing it calm, but on the inside, he felt like jumping off the balcony just to escape the feelings of his heart... But what he didn't know was Vivian had the same thoughts herself...
"I'm loving it, it's turning our way better then expected..", she replied, ready to jump out of her chair... They both thought been evil was way easier than trying to figure out the ways of the heart...
But before the Blood Alchemist could ask anymore questions, Ridney returned with the food...
"Here you go..", he said and he left the two alone for the time being..
When they started eating, violin music began to play, this was a measure created by Hohenheim to keep the meal from getting silent and awkward, and the person playing was Eddie Denim, who once belonged to an orchestra before eventually becoming broke and had to turn to a life of crime to pay the bills. They started conversations inbetween their meals, but talked only about personal things, like how many have you destroyed and what's your preferred method of controlling the human body, which seem to boring for our regular audience...
The meal was a serene event, with the night sky bright enough to warm any sort of onlooker's heart and a slight chill wind that didn't freeze you, but certainly left an impact on the memory, depending on your way of thinking...
Eventually the meal was finished and the music stopped. Eddie left while Rodney and Sebastain were left to clean up to give the couple space.
"I had a lot of fun Hohenheim, it was great talking to you..", said Vivian
"I as well... Do you think you would do something like this again with me?", asked the Blood Alchemist nervously
Vivian thought for a moment, did she really want to except her feelings, her answer, "Yes..."
The two went their separate ways that night after the meal, having newfound confidence of love being possible, even for evil, and all their fear of admitting their true feelings vanished. Though it might take steps to let it all out, they will get their eventually, for this is only the beginning...
Meanwhile Steve the Ripper was still outside in his tent waiting to join VEC...
Inferno stepped out.
"Hi, I'm Inferno from the Recruiting department. I hear you'd like a job?"
"What's the dental plan like?"
"Umm... not great. Most villains just let their teeth rot out. I'm sure we could arrange something for you."
Meanwhile...
Hessenhessen was busy. She was going to find her other siblings, Hassenhassen, Hussenhuseen, Hissenhissen, Hoossenhoossen, and Heessenheessen
Meanwhile, brother will kill brother, across the mighty lands – killing for religion, something I don't understand.
But since that made no sense, back to the engines.
Steam fest was in two months, and preparations needed to begin well ahead of time for it to be successful. Hatt was on the phone with one of the museums.
"I see... So he can come, but only on a flat car? Thank you." Hatt hung up the phone. "Poor City of Truro... Withdrawn from service because of tube problems. At least he will be welcome here, no matter what" Hatt remembered.
What no one knew, was that the White Man came over the sea, he brought us pain and misery. He killed our tribe; he killed our creed; he took our name for his own need. We fought him hard, we fought him well – over the plains, we gave him hell. But many came, too much for Cree. Oh will we ever be set free?
Riding through dust clouds and barren wastes, galloping hard on the plains, chasing the Redskins back to their holes, fighting them at their own game. Murder for freedom, the stab in the back – women and children are cowards – ATTACK!
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives.
Soldier blue in the barren wastes, hunting and killing their game, killing the woman and wasting the man, the only good Indians are tame. Selling them whiskey and taking their gold – enslaving the young and destroying the old....
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives.
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives. Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiives.
Have you guessed what was going on? Yes, the British were invading the Native Americans!
Frank took the remote from Diesel 11
"Stop changing the channel on us!" He told him. And put it back to Sodor
Hatt was pleased with how this was all turning out; a steam fest like this was surely the first of its kind.
Then he got an unusual call. "Hello, who is this? Ozzie Osbourne's agent? Huh? He wants to play "Crazy Train" live at steamfest? Well, I don't know; I'll have to talk to someone about it."
Hatt got off the phone and thought "now who can I talk to about this kind of thing?"
"Me!" said Diesel 11.
"Okay..."
"Go ahead, you should play it."
"I've never even heard the song!"
Diesel 11 started singing.
"All aboard! (Ha-ha-ha..)
Ay-ay-ay..
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
Let's go!
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeah
Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something' that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train."
But Diesel 11 was promptly locked out of the writing room so he couldn't post meaningless %$#*!
So Sir Topham Hatt decided to give Ozzie a go, but on the condition that he "not eat any bats"
Later, Duck and Oliver were called to Knapford; Sir Topham Hatt had an important job for them.
"Next week, City of Truro will be coming to Sodor as promotion for the Steam Fest. Due to his tubes he will have to come here on flatcar. As fellow GWR engines, it will be your job to transport him" Hatt explained to them.
"Yes sir!" they said.
"Good! Now for a morning donut.."
But work had to go on all over the island.
In special areas, temporary track was being laid down to accommodate special gauges and other engines. Though some would run, many would be static displays for assorted reasons.
D-11 went to see Hatt one day; he wanted to know if there was anything the numbered diesels could do to help.
"Why, yes," said Sir Topham Hatt, "they can STAY CLEAR OF MY STEAM FESTIVAL!!"
"What?"
"Sorry, that was out of character. Well, if there's anything they can do help with preparations, that would be good." Hatt said.
"Good."
"Now, I want you all to help out with the Steam Festival, so–"
"Us help out with a @#$%ing Steam Festival?! You've got to be out of your @#$%ing mind!!" said Diesel 5000 XL.
*Facepalms*
A worker threw three bars of soap into 5000 XL's mouth.
*cough-cough* "agh, ok, sorry! Sorry!" He said as he coughed up bubbles.
"Now then, where were we?... Ah, yes, we were talking of The steam festival, now, Diesel 10, I need you to...
While most of the numbered Diesels got their orders Diesel 6 was fighting a small fire inside a shed at Tidmouth, Diesel 6 entered the shed but he building collapsed on top of him, Belle and Flynn fought the fire, and Diesel 6 was not killed, but his cab was bent to the side. Walkins had arrived to look over Diesel 6, when he thought of it. "I've got it! I can fix Diesel 6's biggest problem, I can make his front swivel so he can see to the side, and while he is at it aim his foam cannons without a driver to assist!" And Reginald Walkins ran off to find his old Diesel 6 papers
Diesel 5000 XL was complaining. "It's not fair!" he said.
"What's not fair?"
"Letting branch line diesels pull main line trains."
Meanwhile the Blood Alchemist was talking with the Bronze Mage. it had been a few weeks since Hohenheim's first date, and since then, he and Vivian had gone on many more...
"So Bronze I have this crazy idea that I want your personal opinion on..." said the Blood Alchemist
"Well what is it?" asked the Bronze Mage
"I... want to propose to Vivian" replied Hohenheim
"You mean like marriage propose?" asked the Bronze Mage
"Yeah..." the Blood Alchemist replied again
The Bronze Mage got an idea. If two evil people who were brought together by the organization and had found true love, it could become a great selling point to potential new members, so he responded...
"That would be great, but you haven't been together all that long, and you know how Viv is about that sort of thing."
"Yeah, I guess."
Meanwhile, it was snowing at Tidmouth Sheds.
Christmas was coming, and for that reason STH had moved the Steam festival back till January...
"Bother this snow, I ruins my paintwork..." James said scoffingly
"Bother your paintwork, snow's dangerous if you don't pay close enough attention to it James, so be careful" Henry said warningly
"What do you have a history with snow or something Henry?" asked James
"In fact I do" replied Henry, "I've gotten stuck in it so many times I've learned to be more cautious around it falling like it is today..."
"Danne worry yerself, Henry; wee got this, ye know" Donald and Douglas said. Back to back with a coach, the Scottish twins set to work as usual, clearing the lines of snow.
"Great!"
Unfortunately, when Hohenheim did ask Vivian, he found that she didn't like blood. In fact, she just went out with him to 'humor' him.
The Blood Alchemist came back, crushed.
"I told you you should have waited. Now she'll probably go out with Blackmagei or Xex or..."
Hohenhiem inturrupted the Bronze Mage.
"Well...
The writer had nothing, so he went back to the engines.
The Colormen and Mr Conductor had resolved their confusion, so they made peace and he went on his way. On Thomas's Branch line, Toby was surprised to see mr. Conductor waiting for him one the platform.
"It's you!" Toby said, surprised.
"Yes, sorry about that; something strange came up, but I'm back now" he assured.
"So, what do we do next?"
"Listen to some
"What?"
"Just making sure you're awake Toby. Anyway, there was something I wanted to tell you."
"What?"
Meanwhile at the docks...
Cranky was unloading a box of CDs.
Meanwhile the Blood Alchemist was waking up from his crazy dream...
"Wow... I guess that's a premonition for if I jump the gun with Vivian, I better wait then..." he said t ohimself as he went back to bed...
To bring an end to an arc that really is not going anywhere, the numbered diesels asked the tugs for help rescuing diesel 0
They sprang a trap, and as Ten Cents, Hercules, O.J. and Top Hat trapped the green-eyed tugs, Big Mac rescued Diesel 0 by recovering his barge.
"That'll teach you two!" Ten Cents said.
"Oh no, you again!" the said, feeling a strange sense of deja vu.
Captain took them to Port Authority, and the tow Green-Eyed Tugs will never be heard from again... probably...
Diesel 0 was put back on the rails and was reunited with his brothers. They went back to the Dieselworks to start their celebration of Christmas...
Meanwhile, Man In Black was hiding in a corner. Man In Pink walked up.
"Should I ask?"
"It's Man In Gold. Every time I see him, he yells at me for something stupid."
"Why?"
"I, er... I may have murdered his wife about 15 years ago."
"Well, I'm not the expert on forgiveness *coughcoughfortunetellerladywhosnameescapesmecough*, but I'd say you should start with an apology. The three steps to a proper apology are: Say sorry, admit it was your fault, and ask how to make it right."
"Yeah, because that works so well. 'Sorry for killing your wife, my bad, I'll buy you a new one'. NO!"
"Well, we need to wrap up this plotline somehow, so you'll have to figure something out," said Man In Pink, winking at the camera.
.....
"Why is he winking at the security camera?" asked Woman In Alice Blue.
"He likes me!" squealed Man In Electric Indigo.
Meanwhile, TGC , Toz76 , Biblically Accurate Angel , frankthetriviaman , and Tug were on a space ship called the Dragoex. They had just been struck by a meteor...
But this took place 20 years past what was happening in this story, so it's continued in the long games board.
Back in 2015, the Star Tugs were watching Star Trek.
Space: the final frontier for man.
Captain Zero walked in.
"What? That makes no sense" The writer crossed that line out.
the star tugs were getting ready for their day of work.
Some freighters were coming in, and they would have to divide the work among themselves to bring them all in efficiently and on time
B u t m e a n w h i l e , a c e r t a i n m a n w a s w a i t i n g f o r a d e l i v e r y o f d o u g h n u t s .
Diesel 11 was then locked out of use writer room again.
Back to the tugs...
However, since The Number of the Eyes did not have his posting privileges revoked, he proceeded to post.
The TUGS had been...
getting ready for the Christmas season...
A thick frost had started to form on top of the ocean, so it was getting harder to move...
"It's going to be another Bigg Freeze," Ten Cents quipped.
"Aye, be glad at least the harbormaster will be bringing in an ice-breaker in case of emergencies". Big Mac Said.
"How could ice form here anyway? The ocean is salt water" sunshine asked.
"It seems ice from the north has floated down this far... But I can't believe this cold to keep it all together" replied OJ
"I think It's because of that Global Warming thing I always here protesters go on and on about..." Warrior chimed in
Meanwhile...
A dark, unknown identity walked into the town.
"I'll plunge this world into everlasting doom..."
But there were enough plots going on right now, so he had to be axed.
At the Great Hall, Man In Reddish Green was decorating for Christmas, his favorite time of the year.
But in the archives, a lonely Man In Gold had but a small tree on his desk, and an old photo of his wife and son. Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year, but it is pretty hard for the 47 year old to agree when he no longer had anyone to share the holiday with.
He simply sighed then went back to work, while other Colormen were celebrating with their families int their apartments, or getting ready to go home for the holidays if they lived elsewhere.
Meanwhile, a new character had arrived. His name was Seasons In The Abyss, or Seasons for short. He met Diesel 11 by the bridge.
"It's good to finally meet you."
"Yes, it is indeed."
"Did you bring the package?"
"Of course."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
The two took out of the package, an MP3 player. They turned it on, and as Irish music began to play, they started river dancing.
"I can't believe the readers actually voted for that one" the writer said in shock
Poll: what should d-11 and season do?
A) Discuss politics 21%
B) river dance 58%
C) eat cake 8%
D) explain a critical plot point 13%
Apparently, the people decided that they should river dance... but this isn't a democracy.
Suddenly, Inferno appeared next to D11.
"Not a democracy? What a delightfully evil thought! Would you like to join VEC?"
"You know, I am one of the writers, so I could easily write you out of existence" d-11 pointed out
Terrified at that thought, inferno backed off
Seasons pondered..
"Sure!" he finally said. "If you don't have anything against metal." (And my name is Seasons In The Abyss, or Seasons for short, not Diesel 11.)
"I love metal! Bronze, Tin, Copper, you name it!"
"I think he meant the music." Said :;: with amusement. :;: was Inferno's robotic intern. No, I do not know how to pronounce it.
"Oh, you mean like Hangar 18? Or that sort of thing? Worldender's really into that sort of music."
"Hey wait; WE'RE the interns!" Catherine and Rodney said, having never heard of a :;: before.
At any rate, Seasons In The Abyss became a new VEC member. And, since he was friends with [at least one of] the Writers, the Bronze Mage made him a high-ranking VEC member.
"I'm his intern," said :;:, "you are the VEC's interns. There's a difference. Plus, I have no arms or legs, I'm just a floating ball."
"You're argument makes no sense!" Said Rodney.
"Sorry, Rod. Too bad."
Seasons In The Abyss went on to blast some Slayer..
Raining blood!!
Meanwhile, the Dimensional Colorfolk were tying to recover from the loss of CGT.
"He was only 15, and now that he is dead the Dimensional Man In Lime line is gone." Dimensional Man In Gold said.
"Not quite." A man said, stepping in.
"Lucas! Where have you been?" DMIG said.
"I came back, after realizing that my brother was killed by TGC I decided to join as the new Dimensional Man In Lime. I'm 26, and I have a kid, so the line will be saved if I'm given the power by our prism." Lucas said.
"Also, it turns out I've found another Diesel 11, he goes by the name of Seasons, and he is a VEC member now." Lucas said.
"Darn! We will have to meet with the VEC again! Why are Diesel 11s so hard to catch?!' DMIG said.
Meanwhile...
Seasons In The Abyss was settling into a life of VECness. He somewhat annoyed the others by playing a bit too much Slayer - "War Ensemble", "Raining Blood", "Angel of Death", and "Seasons in the Abyss", anyone? - but after all, it was dark music, and the VEC members loved that.
It was Christmas, and VEC was caroling.
"God rest ye merry gentlemen..."
"Why are we singing? Evil masterminds do not sing!" Snapped Chessmaster.
"It's an unusually dark Christmas song." Inferno explained.
At Tidmouth Sheds, relief drivers had showed up, since the regulars were at home Christmassing.
At Brendam Docks, the Tugs were all in drydock, to keep them safe from any icebergs that might float in.
The Colorfolk had put up a giant tree and got several hundred turkeys, and were now binge-watching Christmas movies.
"Can I have some turkey?"
"It's not dinner yet. If you try, I'll shoot your eye out!"
"Should we at least add some syrup for the spaghetti?"
"Are you done referencing Christmas movies yet?"
The Numbered Diesels were decorating a tree. With their claws. And Diesel 6's foam for fake snow. After which they listened to heavy metal covers of Christmas songs and ticked off everyone from Vicarstown to Kellsthorpe Road.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Sir Topham Hatt wasn't having a very merry Christmas, however. He had to...
Be stuck in traffic on his way home; then he's had a merry Christmas.
The numbered diesels were celebrating in their shed when.
"Hello diesels" Reginald Walkins said as he walked in
"Father!" The collectively said
"But...but... where's papa?" Diesel 0 said sadly
"Making the eggnog!"
And then the house next door burned down.
"Huh? That doesn't make any sense"
The writer crossed that line out.
The house next door lit up with Christmas lights; it looked amazing.
So to put Diesel 0 at ease, it turns out that Heinrich Bauer was...
...Making eggnog!
Unfortunately, he'd drunk a bit too much of it...
"Who said that? I haven't drank any of it!" Bauer said, offended.
He finished the last batch. "Ah, now that the family Eggnog recipe is ready, I think I'll... oh, that's right... family" Bauer sighed sadly. He looked at a picture of his wife; she had died before Diesel 0 was built. He once had children, but that was long ago... his son died in a car crash, and his daughter he had not seen since 1993.
He didn't know that many people, so when he picked up his phone, he called the one person who helped him the most recently.
"Hello? D-11? Yes, it's Heinrich. Are you busy now? I was wonder if you'd like to come over for some egg nog?" he asked.
"Sure thing!" he said. "Be right over!"
D-11 came over 20 minutes later.
Though he saw a Christmas tree, he was surprised to see how little there was. After sitting down for the egg nog, D-11 at last realized.
"You don't have a family; do you?" D-11 asked
"Not anymore" Bauer sighed. "It's kind of hard to celebrate Christmas when there is no one to share the holiday with" he lamented.
"Well, you do now have all of us - me, Jenkins, the Numbered Diesels."
And for the first time in years, Heinrich Bauer had a merry Christmas.
And now we'll take a break from the ongoing plots. We'll come back to them on December 26th, but for now, it's time for a verry merry....
3WSR Christmas Special!
"Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an nivir brocht ti mynd?
Shid ald akwentans bee firgot,
an ald lang syn?"
"Donald and Douglas! You've been singing that song nonstop ever since the Christmas season started!" said Duck. "I'm starting to get sick of it."
"That mae be, but isn't it gud to get intoo the Christmas spirrit?"
"Frankly," said Gordon, "It just overworks us. There are far too many passengers, and far too many trains. And your singing....!"
"Chill out, you two." Henry said. "Christmas means Christmas Trees, which means the Logging Locos get to visit!"
"Yay! I haven't seen them in a while!" Said Thomas.
Sir Topham Hatt walked up. "I'm sorry, Thomas," he said, "but there's to be a snow storm by Misty Island. It'll be too dangerous for them to come."
"Oh," said Thomas sadly.
"Cheer up!" said Sir Topham Hatt. "I've got some special plans for us!"
"Really, Sir?" asked Percy. "What are they, Sir?"
"Wait, I thought we can't stand the logging locos?" Percy asked.
"This is a separate continuity I think" Edward whispered.
"Oh."
Sir Topham Hatt had assembled his engines at Knapford, to make the big announcement.
"Now let's see; Thomas, Edward, Henry, Gordon, James, Percy, Toby, Duck, Donald, Douglas, Oliver, Bill and Ben, BoCo, Daisy, Bear, Arthur, Murdoch, Stanley, Rosie..." As Hatt looked over his engines "Emily's at the works getting repaired, Victor is at the works, Salty and Porter are at the docks, Whiff and Scruff are at the garbage dump, Flynn and belle are at the search and rescue center... All right, everyone who can be here is here." Hatt said.
Thomas then said "but what about the..."
"Shhh! We don't count the pointless one-offs and bland or bad characters" James cut him off.
"Oh," said Thomas. (He felt like saying ****, but this is a kids show, so oh well.)
"Now, I've called you here to show you this." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"Is that a broken camera?" Percy asked.
"Yes, you know what that means." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"We aren't on camera! Now we can stop forcing a smile 24/7!" Thomas said.
"Yes, now we can go out of this "Alternate Continuity" of season 15 and act normal." Sir Topham Hatt said.
"Yay!"
-------------
The Writer deleted that section.
-------------
"Now, I've called you here to learn the true spirit of Christmas. You've been nothing but rude to the "pointless one-off characters", so I'm going to fix that. They'll be pulling all the special trains, and you'll be doing your normal work."
"WHAT!?"
Molly, Neville, and Belle beamed. "We'll huff our hard- er, do our best, sir."
"Darn it!" said Thomas.
Then, who should appear? Lady!
"Lady! We haven't seen you in ages!"
"Yes, Thomas; it's good to bDIESEL 10 RUNS INTO LADY, KILLING HER
"I've gotten her now!"
Just then, Thomas woke up from a dream.
"Huh? What happened?"
"You feel asleep, sir Topham Hatt is about to make an announcement" Edward explained.
"Now, I've gathered you all here to let you know what will be happening this year, this Christmas, actually marks a very special occasion for Sodor, because..."
The writer went back. "Nah, I'll re-add that part." And pulled the old paper out of the trash, and put it back inside.
"Ok, now- sorry." Sir Topham Hatt said, and started exercising his jaw muscles. "Ok, now I'm going to send you all to..."
AAAH! This is getting really confusing!
Sir Topham Hatt took a deep breath and continued speaking. "As I was trying to say, the cameras are gone so we no longer have to "act miller", and this is a very special year for us. This Christmas marks a very special occasion for Sodor, because it was a Christmas 100 years ago that the North Western Railway was founded."
The engines' eyes widened.
"Thus," continued the Fat Controller, "we are going to be doing something extra special. We are going to be hosting a special Christmas party for all the engines and people of Sodor; the project will be quite the undertaking, as we must be able to get the Skarloey, Culdee Fell and Arlesdale engines here. This christmas, we will bring everyone together" Sir Topham Hatt said proudly, as he was joined by Mr Roger Sam (Skarloey Railway Controller), Mr Fergus Duncan (Arlesdale railway controller) and Mr Walter Richards (Manager of the Culdee Fell railway).
[Half a page of arguing over whether we should even do a christmas special removed]
Diesel 11 was in trouble.
He was making his Christmas wish list, but didn't know what to wish for. He paced about the room, when he suddenly slipped on a banana peel. And due to the nature of comedy, he would up landing on a skateboard which rolled out of his room, down the hall and down the stairs. He fell off the skateboard and landed in a wagon which rolled across his living room and with a thud, face planted into the wall.
Checking himself for injuries, he felt something was missing. Now he knew what to wish for.
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth.
***
If you want this sequence to have turned out to be a dream, text 3WSRONE
If you want a musical number to start, text 3WSRTWO
If you want to see the punchline to this scene, text 3WSRTHREE
***
Time's up; thanks for voting!
3WSRONE
It turned out to have been a dream, luckily. Meanwhile, in a rail museum on the mainland, a press conference had been called.
"And so, now on loan to this museum, it is with great pleasure that I announce the newest addition to our collection; one of Reginald Walkins' line of numbered diesels. Many, as you know, are lost, but this is one I am happy to say was never scrapped. So it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Diesel 9; Walkin's narrow gauge diesel.
Among those Watching the news was Jenkins.
"Hey boss, check this out"
Diesel 11 stared. Then he rushed off.
Meanwhile, Nesseterina woke up. "Wear am I?" she said.
"You're here where you won't escape," someone laughed.
MeanwhileTGC was watching Doctor Who when someone walked in the room silently. "Ah, Ninth was the best doctor, if only he had stayed for a few more-"
Meanwhile, Man In Blue was...getting sick of it.
"That's it!" he said, "I'm leaving Sodor."
And he did.
"Who will be our leader?" asked MIG.
"I can!" said Man In Black.
Man In Blue came walking back in, furious.
"I'm not going anywhere! That darn writer keeps forgetting to write me in character!" he fumed.
Everyone relaxed; so he wasn't going anywhere. "And need I remind you all we don't have a leader? We are all equals; I have just taken it upon myself to guide us for the time being; since we are only recently reestablished, there is a lot we have to figure out for the time being."
No one could argue with that.
However, Woman In Orange had a suggestion. "Why don't we hold a democratic election, to find out who should lead us?"
"Good idea!" said Man In Blue, "but remember guys: DON'T VOTE FOR YOURSELF!!"
So they voted.
"Great, let's see who won," said Man In Blue.
Man In Gold - 2%
Woman In Silver - 1%
Man In Egyptian Blue - 5%
Man In Blue - 11%
Man In Ultraviolet - 40.5%
Man In Infrared - 40.5%
"Really?" said the two.
"Yep, so it looks like I won't be the leader anymore." And thus, Man In Blue stepped down.
Except Man in Infrared, as we recall, is MIA, so he couldn't take up the post, and Man In Ultraviolet found himself so overwhelmed with the burden, just two days later he begged Man In Blue to take the position back.
And the status quo was restored.
Man In Blue later talked to Man In Ultraviolet.
"You only recently discovered what it means to be a Colorman; best to work on your craft before you become a leader." Man In Ultraviolet nodded in agreement and went to the training grounds.
Unfortunately, the other Colorfolk demanded another vote. This time, Man In Gold won.
"Well, thank you," he said, "but I really can't take this place without Man In Blue being my 'vice president', so to speak, and my advisor."
Man In Blue accepted the position.
Meanwhile, the Numbered Diesels...
Were not important to this plot at the moment.
Man In Gold could not maintain his position though, because of his duty as Keeper of the Archives. So Man In Blue became leader again, and this time clarified.
"Listen, I am only leader de facto; we have no true leader, we are all equals. Once we have reached a point where we are established and stable, I will stop acting as leader in the sense of a president or CEO, and decisions will be left to us as a whole; where we can decide collectively what to do. Besides, why would you want to vote me out, have I not done what is best for all of you?"
The Colormen realized the error of their ways, and decided to have a vote when the time was right.
Meanwhile on the mainland, at the rail museum where Diesel 9 now lived, there was bad news.
An experienced mechanic was looking at Diesel 9, seeing if he could be repaired.
"Well... can he be repaired?" The curator asked.
"Afraid not" the mechanic sighed.
"You can't fix him?" He said
"No, I could with the proper resources... and that is where the problem is" he explained.
"What do you mean?"
"See these parts here?" the mechanic pointed out.
"Yes."
"These are key to the operation of the engine and the self-driving programming system; but as you can see, they are broken"
"Can't you replace them?"
"They stopped making them in 1979; I could replace them, but we'd need to find the parts first" he explained.
"So you're saying... he can't be fixed?"
"Only if we find those parts" the mechanic concluded.
Just then, a man walked in.
"Hello there; can I help you? We're a bit busy now, so it will need to be quick" the curator said.
"My name is Diesel 11."
"I don't have time for this; you needn't lie to me."
"No, seriously, my name is Diesel 11."
"Okay... what do you want?"
"Well, you can call me D-11 for short; its a long story, but anyway, I understand that you have one of the numbered diesels in your collection?"
"Yes, he's right here. Technically he is on loan from Roger Portman, but yes, this is Diesel 9" the curator explained.
"Well, I'd like to buy him."
I left alone my mind was blank
I needed time to get the memories from my mind
What did I see can I believe that what I saw
That night was real and not just fantasy
Just what I saw in my old dreams were they
Reflections of my warped mind staring back at me
'cause in my dreams it's always there the evil face that twists my mind
And brings me to despair
The night was black was no use holding back
'cause I just had to see was someone watching me
In the mist dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or some kind of hell
666 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry hands held to the sky
In the night the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun satan's work is done
666 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight
This can't go on I must inform the law
Can this still be real or some crazy dream
But I feel drawn towards the evil chanting hordes
They seem to mesmerize me...can't avoid their eyes
666 the number of the beast
666 the one for you and me
I'm coming back I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course
"Turn off the radio!" the curator said.
"Sorry" and it was.
"Well, you'd have to talk to Mr Portman then; he's the legal owner; all we have is a 30 day contract to display him here at the museum" the curator said.
"Don't I get a choice in this?" Diesel 9 asked.
"Of course you do," said Diesel 11. "You'd like to see your brothers again, wouldn't you?"
"Of course I would! It's been my dream for years."
"I am the owner of a good lot of them."
"Really?"
"Yes. That's why I wanted to buy you. My goal is to get all the Numbered Diesels together again."
The Curator thought it over.
"Well, there is nothing I can do about it; but I can put you in contact with Portman"
*A few minutes later*
*Ring-ring*
"Hello?"
"Hi, is this Roger Portman?"
"Yes, how can I help you?"
"I'd like to make a business proposition" D-11 said.
Meanwhile, at VEC headquarters, trouble was brewing. The new member Toz76 had demanded to be their leader, as he said that he was their "creator, and without me, none of you would've been here."
The Bronze Mage was getting sick of it. "Shut up, you **** fool!!" he cried.
"Don't threaten me!" said Toz76, "or I'll write you out of the story!!"
Back with Diesel 11...
"I would like to make a business proposition"
"about one of my engines? I don't know... I paid 15 grand for it" Portman replied.
"I can send you off with ten times that."
"Really!?"
"Oh, yes."
Meanwhile, Twenty One Pilots was there, for some reason. After all, Megadeth had showed up earlier...
But since that is confusing, let's cut to the VEC
"Rodney! Do you have the doughnuts?!" The general boomed.
"Yes, right here" he said as he put several boxes onto the table.
"And here's the coffee" Catherine said as she put it out next to the doughnuts.
"Say, what are they majoring in anyway?" A confused mind reader asked inferno.
"No idea." Inferno replied.
"Who are "They" exactly?" A confused Stormtrooper said. "They are..."
"I'm talking about our interns, Catherine and Rodney; what exactly are they majoring in that they are interning for us?" mind reader asked
"Business management" Rodney said as he finished with the doughnuts.
"Why do you ask?" Catherine replied.
"Because!"
In the Author Room/Writer Room/ Room with the secret orbs that didn't really go anywhere, the Writers were welcoming a new recruit.
"Welcome, Doc Knickerbocker! I hope you enjoy it here." Frank said.
"Yes, you are a character in your own story. It's complicated." Toz interjected. "Butit's cool. We get to portray ourselves as ridiculously powerful. We even get evil doubles!"
"There is someone you do need to meet though" Frank said. And he introduced a man in an overcoat, fedora and sunglasses.
"hello docnickerbocker" the mysterious man said.
"How do you know who I am?" doc said, surprised.
"I know everything that goes on here. Welcome to the story; I am The Writer." he said to doc.
"I thought Frank, Toz and the others were the writers?" Doc asked, confused.
"They are; but they are also characters in this story, so to fill the void I exist as sort of a metaphorical representation, a conglomerate if you will, of all the contributors to the story and... ugh, why do I always confuse myself whenever I try to explain who I am!?" he screamed in frustration. Doc looked on, confused.
"Anyway, as you know, this takes place on the Island of Sodor, so there is Thomas and Friends and Railway series characters here. However, note that we do not acknowledge the existence of the pointless one-offs, so they aren't around. Oh, and in an earlier arc Bash and Dash were destroyed, so they aren't around either."
"What?" Doc asked, confused.
"It's a context thing. Continuing, this story does have its fair share of original characters too. There's the Colormen; an order of sorcerers sworn to protect Sodor, dating back to the reign of King Godred; we'll tell you more about them as we go along, and their counterparts, the Colorwomen, but other than a select few, surprisingly they don't come up much. Their primary enemies are the Vile Evil Confederacy, or VEC, lead by the Bronze Mage. Then there is also this race of aliens who I keep forgetting the name of. Oh, and we have a maglev line too. Furthermore, the TUGS are here, so you'll see them by the docks. Oh, and there's also the numbered diesels, turns out Diesel 10 has a lot of brothers.
And that's the basics for now; any questions?" The writer asked.
"Actually, I have one" Frank asked.
"What's that?" The Writer asked.
"Why don't I have an evil counterpart?" Frank asked
"Sorry Frank, budget cuts" the writer replied
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Frank retorted, just as a lampshade fell on his head
"There is someone you do need to meet though" Frank said. And he introduced a man in an overcoat, fedora and sunglasses.
"hello docnickerbocker" the mysterious man said.
"How do you know who I am?" doc said, surprised.
"I know everything that goes on here. Welcome to the story; I am The Writer." he said to doc.
"I thought Frank, Toz and the others were the writers?" Doc asked, confused.
"They are; but they are also characters in this story, so to fill the void I exist as sort of a metaphorical representation, a conglomerate if you will, of all the contributors to the story and... ugh, why do I always confuse myself whenever I try to explain who I am!?" he screamed in frustration. Doc looked on, confused.
"Anyway, as you know, this takes place on the Island of Sodor, so there is Thomas and Friends and Railway series characters here. However, note that we do not acknowledge the existence of the pointless one-offs, so they aren't around. Oh, and in an earlier arc Bash and Dash were destroyed, so they aren't around either."
"What?" Doc asked, confused.
"It's a context thing. Continuing, this story does have its fair share of original characters too. There's the Colormen; an order of sorcerers sworn to protect Sodor, dating back to the reign of King Godred; we'll tell you more about them as we go along, and their counterparts, the Colorwomen, but other than a select few, surprisingly they don't come up much. Their primary enemies are the Vile Evil Confederacy, or VEC, lead by the Bronze Mage. Then there is also this race of aliens who I keep forgetting the name of. Oh, and we have a maglev line too. Furthermore, the TUGS are here, so you'll see them by the docks. Oh, and there's also the numbered diesels, turns out Diesel 10 has a lot of brothers.
And that's the basics for now; any questions?" The writer asked.
"Actually, I have one" Frank asked.
"What's that?" The Writer asked.
"Why don't I have an evil counterpart?" Frank asked
"Sorry Frank, budget cuts" the writer replied
"That doesn't even make any sense!" Frank retorted, just as a lampshade fell on his head
Meanwhile, the VEC was welcoming a new member. "Who are you?" "I am Lord History, I have the longest memory and remember everything dating back to 2015 BC, every year that goes by I remember another year, for example, next year i will remember everything dating back to 2016 BC, I am also one of the readers, like CGT, Not Diesel 11, and VEC76." Lord History said.
"And GutshipventIV?"
"I guess..."
Meanwhile, Toz was venting his frustration- or trying to, anyway. The only one there was Frank, and there was a lampshade stuck on his head (see above).
"... I mean, normally I wouldn't be this hung up over it, but she said it in such a cold tone of voice..."
"What about Detroit?"
"...and now I have to pretend to like her for at least the next week..."
"Thomas, Percy and the Squeak?"
"Oh, for heavens sake, get that lampshade off your head!"
"Wait, who died?"
Toz rolled his eyes, grabbed the lampshade and sent it to an alternate dimension, only to be promptly buried under fifty more.
Meanwhile, the new Woman In Orange was calling her boyfriend in her non-colorfolk dwelling, when she heard a sound. Her mother was in the house, and she was looking for her.
Meanwhile, the Numbered Diesels were worried. Where, why, when, and what?! Diesel 0 had been stolen, but where was Diesel 11?
But it that numbered diesel plot would need to wait a bit, since this post was being written while that one was posted, so I didn't see it.
"Hailey, where are you?" The former Woman in Orange called out, looking for her. The younger said she would call her boyfriend back.
Back in the writer's room (?) after Frank got the lampshade off his head, he looked at Toz.
"Wait, what just happened, apart from the obvious trope reference?" Frank asked, confused; he felt like he just spent the last 30 seconds saying random lines.
"This is too confusing."
MEANWHILE
ON SODOR
Duke and Boco were sitting, reading the newspaper.
"It seems my stock in Microsoft has gone down." Grunted Boco.
"What a shame." Said Duke.
"Indeed," said BoCo.
"If it makes you feel better, I lost hundreds yesterday."
"On what?"
"Sodor News & Co." And Duke promptly tore his paper up.
"Hey, look on the bright side," Flora said, "I just lost thousands by investing in the NWR. Apparently the real money comes from a staple factory, which burnt down."
"You know, I liked it better when we didn't acknowledge the pointless one-offs," Boco whined.
"Don't be an impudent scalawag!" said Duke.
BoCo looked at him like this:
Meanwhile, Toby sauntered along the line, with a train of stone. He clattered along, thinking to himself.
I wonder if I could... hm.
Toby halted, and squinted.
All of a sudden, Mr. Conductor (Carlin) appeared.
"Toby! Am I glad to see you! There's trouble an-"
"Sir, we have troubles of our own - and only you can assist us. Come aboard, and I shall explain."
"But please don't curse."
"Now why the **** would I curse?"
Toby rolled his eyes. "Anyway, we need you because...
Toby described the VEC in great detail.
"Easy as pie," said Mr Conductor, "just let me get my familiar."
The tumbleweed was stuck in a ditch. Mr Conductor swore seven times, then prepared to rescue his familiar.
Meanwhile, Lars Ulrich, Kirk Hammett, James Hetfield, and Robert Trujillo were setting up for the next Metallica concert. Suddenly, two men dressed in black ran up to them.
"Oh my gosh!" said one. "It's Metallica!!"
"Can we have your autographs?"
But suddenly they were summoned to the Great Hall of the Colormen.
"Aw man" they sighed.
Man in blue spoke to the assembled Colorfolk.
"Thank you all for coming on such short notice; but we have an urgent situation." Man in Blue said. "We have just detected a new source of Magic on Sodor, and it's not a Colorman" man in Blue said; the others were surprised.
"Man in White used the Helmet of Cronk to locate and look at him; he appears to have the appearance of a train conductor, but he looks like that comedian that complained a lot." Man In Blue said.
"Maybe it's that Mr Conductor fellow my dad told me about" Man In Arylide Yellow said.
"Dont be ridiculous; I've met Mr Conductor, he looks more like that drummer from the Beatles than that comedian" Man in Lavender called out.
"What do we do?" Man in silver asked.
"I'll consult man in white; he is definately not evil, but his magic seems to be... Different." Man in blue said. "Meeting ajourned" blue said as he walked out.
"Yes!!" cried Man In Black Coral and Man In Coal Black. They were just in time for the concert!
"Exit light, enter night. Take my hand; we're off to never-neverland.."
Meanwhile, Mr. Conductor sat on Toby's footplate, whistling 'Blueberry Hill'. He suddenly perks up.
"Whatever is the matter?" Inquired Toby.
"I-I don't know.. I feel.. a-"
Mr. Conductor suddenly disappeared.
Mr. Conductor landed in the Great Hall of the Colormen. He dusted off his blue jacket, checked his spats, and re-fastened his pocket watch chain.
"What the ____ is the meaning of this?"
Meanwhile, Diesel 11 and TGC were talking.
"I've an idea," said Diesel 11.
"What is it?"
"Let's all go to the Thomas Fan Forum! thomasfanforum.proboards.com "
TGC stared at him. "Shut up," he finally said. "Stop advertising, it makes me sick. BTW, someone stole one of your Numbered Diesels."
"WHAT?!" and Diesel 11 rushed away.
Meanwhile, Mr. Conductor was meeting the Colirmen who managed to teleport him to the great hall
"Hello there; don't worry, you're among friends here; they very fact that you can enter the Great Hall means you are a good man." The one in blue said
Mr Conductor looked around to find a few people dressed in monochrome jumpsuits standing around him.
"My name is Daniel, but my Title is Man In Blue; these are my associates Man In Gold, Man in Silver and Man in White. Don't worry; we only wanted to meet you"
"See; I told you he looked like that complaining comedian" man in white said.
"and I'm telling you that Mr Conductor looks like the Beatles drummer; I know, I've met him before!" Man in lavender said as he walked in
"Complaining comedian? What the ****?!"
The Colorfolk started to scream as their ears started to bleed. "Now you've done it!"
"****! Sorry about that!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOhhhhhhhhh!!"
The writer remembered this was a kids show, and the censors made him undo that bit.
He picked up from man in lavender walking in.
"I'm telling you mr conductor looks like the Beatles drummer; I know, I've met him before!" Man in lavender said as he walked in.
"Ah, you must be thinking of my cousin, Mr. Ringo Starr Conductor. I am Mr. George Carlin Conductor. We also have another cousin, Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor, who is probably the most famous, but since he was in that hell of mess called Thomas and the Magic Railroad, we won't talk about him."
"Hey!" said Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor, who had just randomly appeared.
Meanwhile SOM, who hadn't made an appearance in some time, had gathered to meet their new hired mercenaries.
Raios stood up and said, "My comrades, welcome the help of these fine gentlemen whose greed and want of revenge has driven them to join our side. Our first two men for hire are another organization after VEC, Honeybadger and the Mole King from AVA..."
"That's a stupid name", shouted Yao
"I told you!", the Mole King told Honeybadger
But before the arguement could continue, Raios shouted, "Becquiet all of you, now these two might not entirely believe in our lord, but as the saying goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, so with our help their goals can be achieved much faster, and look at their progress already", and Raios walked over to where three people were tied up. A man who looked passed out had duct tape over his mouth, and a young girl with an older woman.
The woman said, "I can't believe they got through the defenses around the cart"
The girl replied, "well we did move it to avoid seeing Shear again, plus we never put defensive spell's on the ground so their digging under us was totally unexpected"
The man woke up and said, "mnph mnph mnph mnph?" (Translation: where are we and why do I have duct tape over my mouth?"
Raios replied, "To keep you from saying spells, Qrow, or should I say the "Drunken Mystic", whose power is known for destroying whole countries, and your location... Your worst nightmare... Stein and Monet, take them away..."
"Yes Commander", the two replied and the five disappeared deeper into the underground cave system SOM uses as their base...
Raios said, "Finally, our last hired hitman is a legendary criminal known for getting the job done anyway possible and is want in 372 dimensions, Guttenberg Shippington Ventofolio the VI, or as he likes to call himself Gut for short..."
"So what do you want me to do... This dimension already bores me and I'm only here looking for my comrade, and this gig is only temporary so tell me before I die of boredom...", Gut replied
"We want you to cause some havoc get all the factions attention any means necessary... We want to show these idiots our lord is the strongest, got it", Said Raios
"Fine", and Gut imputed something on a strange wristband and teleported out of the base
"Why did you have to get the really strange to come work for us... We're starting to become VEC and not a powerful military force", Stein asked Raios
Raios replied, "Oh Stein, there's a method to my madness and sometimes you have to fight crazy with crazy... Soon my plan for my lord will become clear soon enough..."
Meanwhile, Heph and Vlad had somehow found their way into the 3WSR Universe. Man In Blue was walking past Heph, when suddenly....
"Goodness gracious me! It's the Colorfolks' ancestor!"
"Huh?"
"Yes! All of us stemmed from you and your wife."
"I don't have a wife."
The Writer explained the MIB about the Story Game.
"Hmm, interesting. Well, if you don't get back to that game fast, we're going to disappear!"
"What about me?" asked Vlad.
"Oh yes... you...."
Vlad went back with Heph when he saw the knife MIB pulled out.
Or rather, the Blade of Erdagovern.
"Hey, wait a second!" Man In Blue said. "Each Colorman lineage is its own bloodline, we're not all descended from the same individual! Granted, I don't deny some lineages may in fact be distant cousins, but still, that Heph fellow does seem familiar" he said.
Meanwhile, because we never properly finished this plot, D-11 was wrapping up his purchase of Diesel 9
"Would you like it gift-wrapped?" asked the cashier.
"I don't want to be gift wrapped!" Said Diesel 9
And so Diesel 9 was loaded onto a flatbed to be taken to Sodor.
Now we return to the present.
"W-where are my engines" D-11 said horrified; the numbered diesels really were gone.
"Percy Criddleton."
"Wait, what?"
Which Percy Criddleton is the real Percy Criddleton? Find out after these messages.
Get the Besteroni toothpaste! *ding*
"Oh, sorry, I was looking at the wrong page" the person said "So your real name is...Matthew Parker." the person (who I presume is Jenkins) said.
"Ok you got me; my real name is Matthew Parker; years ago there was an incident, long story short now there's people looking for me, so I took up the alias Diesel 11 to throw them off my trail; and it worked, they gave up on me a couple years ago, but I can't take the chance of going to back to matthew parker again." D-11 confessed
"I don't believe it" the person said in shock and amazement.
Diesel 11 started to laugh. "Ha-ha, got you Jenkins."
"Huh?"
"Those are my fake birth records."
"What, you forged a birth certificate and other important government documentation to pull a prank on me?"
"That's right, I created false government documents to... aw crud" Suddenly Diesel 11 was picked up by two comically oversized policemen
"(Insert his real name here), you are under arrest for falsifying documents" the policemen said as they carried him away.
"Uh oh" Jenkins said, scared.
"I did not falsify documents," said Diesel 11. "What I'm trying to say is that that is Not Diesel 11's birth certificate."
"Yes we know their not your birth certificates", said one of the officers
"But their Not Diesel 11's!", D-11 shouted
"You you mean the character... We still have to take you to jail..."
"WHY!?!?!", D-11 shouted again
"You broke continuity... We are the Contiuity Police and we've already established that Not Diesel 11 is an evil counterpart of you from another dimension so there's no way he has birth certificates in this dimension.."
So the Continuity Police took D-11 to Continuity Jail for the time being.
Wondering who the Continuty Police are, well the Writer got tired of so many continuities being broken in the story that he created this group to stop them. So watch out... If a character breaks continuity these two big fellas are going to drag that character to Continuity Jail.. Another dimension prison that holds continuity breakers for specified amount of time...
Meanwhile, Gut was talking to himself, "I wonder what I should do to get people's attention, if only Franz was here, franztheinformationperson was the best scout in our gang, why di the team have to split up after... THe Accident..."
Meanwhile, Toby was attempting to calm the others.
"Engines, please, I'm sure that Mr. Conductor is fine."
Henry and Edward peeped in unison.
"Quite right!"
"He is magical, after all."
The others were not convinced.
"But what if he isn't?" Trembled Percy.
"He could be in trouble." Murmured James.
Toby decided to eat a sandwich. "It is time for lunch," he thought, and promptly went to McDonald's.
Meanwhile, Mr. George Carlin Conductor and Mr. Alec Baldwin Conductor had just been joined by Mr. Ringo Starr Conductor.
"Wait, engines don't eat!" and the writer instead had Toby take on coal.
In the great Hall, Mr Conductor (Carlin) and Mr Conductor (Baldwin), were suddenly joined by Mr Conductor (Starr)
"See, I told you Mr Conductor looked like the Beatles drummer!" Man in Lavender said.
"THREE Mr Conductors!?" Man In Silver said in shock
"That's it! I've had it!" said Man In Blue, who packed his bags, left the building, and went away to the Bahamas for vacation.
"Well then!" said Man In Gold.
Man In Blue came running back in furious. "Writer! Stop that! I would NEVER abandon my brethren! Especially now during this time of rebuilding!"
Deciding that it would be better to continue the Mr Conductor thing after Doc came back, the writer shifted focus to the numbered diesels search for Diesel 0.
Diesel 10 was leading the search.
"Right, now then, Diesel 8, you'll go to Culdee Fell and spread the word; if anyone saw anything, find it out. Diesel 1 and 2, you take the Little Western Branch. Diesel 4, you take the Brendham Branch. Diesel 5000 XL, get to the Fire and Rescue Co and tell Diesel 6 to spread the word among the authorities. 11 and 12, you two and me will search the main line. 13..." Just then, Diesel 13's engine began to smoke. "Uh, you stay here in case he comes back".
(If I recall, 16 was broad gauge)
"And as for you 16; sorry, but there's no broad gauge lines on Sodor; you'll have to stay here with 13."
And the engines set off.
"Darn," said Diesel 16, and promptly conjured up Lady and made her build a full-fledged broad gauge line. He set off.
"We can do that?" said Diesel 13, and realizing this, he conjured Lady up and made her unjinx/fix him. He set off.
The two of them subsequently woke up from dreams.
"What? But how?"
They read a note on the door:
"Sorry; that is a deux ex machina, plus we are still unsure of Lady's place in the 3WSR universe
-The Writer"
"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Diesel 16 said.
"Wait, there's more" Diesel 13 said.
"However, I do agree that you staying in the shed all the time is limiting your potential, so I've built some broad gauge lines for you. Be warned though, they don't go on the branch lines, and they only cover the main line."
"All right!" Diesel 16 said, and promptly set off.
"What about me?" Diesel 13 said.
"Oh, you're still jinxed, but don't worry, it's not a curse; you were built during an economic recession so your parts are just lower quality is all" the note finished.
Diesel 13 remembered "of course! Father (Reginald Walkins) was having money issues around the time I was built, he had to cut corners when I was built, and the recession only made it worse" it all made sense to him now.
"And I had to put you in the shed because with my money strained as it was, there was no funds to overhaul you" Walkins said as he walked in.
"Father... I don't hold it against you; but some higher quality parts and maybe I'd be fine" he said.
"I don't own you anymore; there's nothing I can do" Walkins lamented.
Meanwhile the Bronze Mage and the Blood Alchemist were having their annual luncheon since the reformation of VEC
"Pass the mustard will you Blood", asked the Bronze Mage
"Sure Bronze, I heard you have an eye on Priori if you now what I mean...", replied Hohenheim
"How did you find out?", asked the Bronze Mage
"Inferno told me... He wouldn't stop talking about seeing you two besides those mysterious maids he brought back", replied the Blood Alchemist
"Well then... Do you fancy anyone?", the Bronze Mage asked
"Well I do have maybe a little crush on... Vivian", responded the Blood Alchemist
"Oh Hohenheim you sneaky devil... Pass the salt will you..."
"Hey Sebastian, what's for dessert tonight!?" Bronze Mage called from the table.
"We have a great selection of pies sir; Apple, blueberry, pumpkin and peacan sir" he called from the kitchen.
"Great!"
Rodney came in. "Hey, I was..."
"By the way, Rod, from now on, you must call me 'Sir'."
Priori walked in a punched him.
MEANWHILE
AT THE VEC HEADQUARTERS
_
A knock comes at the door of the headquarters. A little man in a cassock and broad hat drops a box on the doorstep, and flees quickly, fitting in well with the dark shadows and mists.
In the box is a bloody ring - belonging to one of the most famous thieves in history, Flambeau D' Gusteacy.
The Bronze Mage opened the door. "What the hell? Someone left us a box."
He opened it. "It's nothing but a bloody ring!"
A small slip of paper lay at the bottom.
"It's a warning - your time is up - penance little, transgressions great."
The Bronze Mage wasn't unnerved in the slightest. "It's some practical joke," he thought.
BANG!
The Bronze Mage fell down. "Ooooo.." he moaned. He shut his eyes for the last time, and drew his last breath..
The man came back. He looked down.
"Oh dear.."
He - a priest - began the last rites.
Just then Priori walked up. "Now, then, th–OH MY GOSH!!!"
Father Brown, completing the rites, turned, and tipped his black broad hat.
"Good evening."
Just then, the Bronze Mage was shaken up from the dream by Hohenheim.
"Bronze, are you alright? You passed out after hearing the dessert menu from Sebastian and taking a bite from the Coquilles Saint-Jacques...", said the Blood Alchemist
"Oh sorry, I just scallops don't go well inside my stomach...", he replied
Meanwhile, a certain Mr. K. C. K. A. W. was working at the docks.
Father Brown, in actuality, waited on the steps of the VEC Headquarters.
"Right then," he said, "where is everyone?"
Inferno opened the door.
"Hello, welcome to Vile Evil Confederacy, where evil is not bad! Now open for breakfast. How may I help you?"
"Er, I'm sorry, but you must understand, I'm here for a cross. A stolen one, you understand."
Meanwhile, the Fat Controller was pacing the platform. He was waiting for a very special delivery.
It was a letter... A letter that gave him ownership of something special... This something was...
hot chocolate, specially made for Christmas.
"I do love Christmas," he thought as he waited. "The cookies, the eggnog, the pudding..."
Back at VEC, Inferno was confused.
"No one here would have any use for a cross... wait." He turned inside. "Could someone fetch Blackmagei, Priori, Darkstorm and Darkhart? Apparently one of them stole a cross." He turned back to Father Brown. "Those darn necromancers, always burning crosses to summon demons. Where do you come from?"
"I..." Father Brown was more than a little shocked.
"Never mind; here they are. Alright, which one of you did it?"
Darkhart nervously raised his hand.
Meanwhile, Diesel 10 had been dashing through the snow, in a one-claw open sleigh...
Over the rails he goes, growling all the way
He will not ever sing
his spirit is never bright
but what fun it is to ride the rails
on Island Sodor tonight
Oh!
Diesel 10 Diesel 10... eh, that's all I got
Diesel 10 promptly stopped daydreaming.
Meanwhile, Godred had gotten back into the groove of things since he'd come back to Sodor.
But we'll come back to that in a bit..
Raios was speaking to Yao.
"I would like you to have the Crimson Lotus Clan's top ninjas be send here. I require them for a special mission I have planned. The quicker they are here the sooner our plans may commence. You got that?", Raios commanded
"Yes Commander, my finest will be here shortly and will commence their operation..", Yao replied, and he left to make a call...
Meanwhile Sebaastian and Stein were have a discussion trying to get to know each other better.
"So what exactly is your star sign?", Stein asked
"I'm a Capricorn", replied Sebaastian
"Of course you are..."
Meanwhile...
Sebastian the chef was making fruitcake for the VEC since it was nearing Christmas time
"Does anyone here actually like fruitcake?" Heather, his sous chef, asked.
"No idea; but it's orders from the Bronze Mage, so I'm not questioning them" he said as he put the next set of loaves in the oven.
The Culdee Fell engines had welcomed Godred back, and the passengers loved to see him, as he was someone they'd thought they'd never see.
Christmas decorations were being put up, and the railway looked great.
Godred was welcomed back with open arms and the Culdee Fell Railway celebrated his return for three straight days and nights until on he fourth day Mr. Richards yelled at them to get back to work...
Meanwhile on the Aresdale Railway, Mike was about to crash. Rex and Bert were attempting to shovel sand into Jock's funnel to prank him.
He never woke up.
Suddenly Frank the Small Railway Diesel woke up...
"That was a really strange dream... Hey Writer could you feature us more in the game... You give all the screentime to Culdee fell and never us.. I get jealous easily you know..."
The Writer responded, "Well excuse me you have now appeared in the TV Series but not them, plus your breaking character, Continuity Police!", and the Continuity Police jumped onto Frank..
"We hereby arrest you under the grounds of breaking the Fourth Wall when you're not authorized to do so... Only important characters are allowed by decree of the Writer.. You're going to Continuity Jail..."
"Wait NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", shouted Frank as the two officers opened up a portal and placed him in a jail cell designed to hold engines.
When he arrived he was in the cell next to D-11...
D-11 said to him, "So they got you too huh... Welcome to the Big House... Don't drop the so... Um.. Nevermind..."
Diesel 11 had it. He broke out of his cell, and went to find a certain Tugboatfan4...
But the Continuity Police said, "Ahem your sentence hasn't ended yet... We were going to let you free in the next post, but I think we'll have to extend your sentence for bad behavior... This isn't Shawshank bud..", and the two officers, who the Writer decided to call Stabler and Benson, took D-11 back to jail...
Meanwhile.. Father Brown was reading 'The History of the Early Church', sucking on root beer drops.
Frank the Diesel was let out by the writer... turns out there was an Arlesdale plot planned in the future and Rex, Bert, Mike, Jock AND Frank would need to be present; so he would be released on a technicality, as long as he behaved.
"As you wish" and Frank took his place on the railway.
Meanwhile all the jumping around confused the writer, so he rolled a die to determine the plot to continue with.
"Ok... lost Diesel 0; better finish that up so we can work on the others"
The numbered Diesels were searching everywhere; they had covered at least half the island so far, and had few leads. But in a warehouse hidden in a very old and bad part of the Wharf... Two very familiar Green-Eyed Tugs were keeping him hostage hung up inside the said warehouse...
"Where could he be?" asked Diesel 1.
"It's a ****ing problem, I tell you!" said Diesel 5000 XL.
Then, a lead came to Jenkins...
Jenkins went to Diesel 11, the engine, and told him what he had heard...
"It seems Rusty spotted an object that seems to be Diesel 0 on a barge in the canals at the Wharf, I have no idea how he got there but I must make a call for a favor..", and Jenkins left...
"Hello? Is this the owner of Diesel 9?", Jenkins asked into the phone...
"Jenkins! Tell this stupid police-thing to set me free!"
"I'm sorry, but I have some matters to take into my hands." CGT had arrived, and pulled out a cyan stone. D-11 disappeared, and reappeared in the Dimensional Colorfolk prison. CGT teleported out of continuity prison to avoid the Conti-Nazi.
Meanwhile, TGC felt something weird. He pulled a red stone out of his pocket. "CGT used one of the stones..." TGC said. He tried to use the red stone but it didn't work. "Darn! I need to find the green, yellow, and purple stones before CGT does and uses them, D-11 is going to be killed in 3 days max, luckily I only have to find the green one to do that... But if CGT gets the yellow and purple ones all the D-11s will be in danger..." TGC ran off to find the stones.
The Writer was furious at D-11, "Jeez D-11 why do you keep breaking continuity... But I'll let it slide since a new plot is forming... But how did CGT break into Continuity Jail, it's in another dimension... Argh so many continuity errors...."
Anyways back to the real phone call...
"Yes this is Robert Portman", Portman replied
"My boss is in the process of buying your locomotive correct?", replied Jenkins
"Yeah, and if you were asking on borrowing on him to work, sorry he doesn't run at the moment", Portman answered
"Oh sorry for disturbing you then..", Jenkins said
"No problem and Merry Christmas"
"Merry Christmas", and Jenkins hung up the phone, what was he going to do...
Diesel 9 was bright to the numbered diesels shed; without those parts, he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
Meanwhile the VEC was putting up with Owl Man's off key singing
"Deck the halls with boughs of holly"
"Someone make him shut up!" And lightning man threw a boot at him.
"Joy to the world,
The horns is come.
Let earth,
Receive,
Her king!"
"No. Try something else." Said Chessmaster.
"Away in a ufttfsbdu,
No corpse for a bed,
The little Great Horned Beast,
Lay down his horned head..."
"No! Damn it, Bronzie, don't you understand the importance of seasonal advertising?"
"There's too much religious posturing this time of year. Maybe try something without the Horned One?" Offered Blackmagei.
"What, shall we call it 'winter holiday', too? How dare you suggest such blasphemy!" Said Inferno.
"Ooh! I got it!" Said the Bronze Mage.
"Come, they told me pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
a Great Horned Beast to see pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
Corpses of our enemies pa-rum-pum-pum-pum,
To lay before our king pa-rum-pum-pum-"
"NO!" Yelled Chessmaster. "What is this!? We are not comic relief!"
"Said the night wind to the murderer,
Have you killed who I-"
"GAHHHHH! Someone else write the Christmas commercial! Get Tim in here, and Deathnote. They're halfway decent at this."
Just then, Rodney came running in, looking scared.
"That'll have to wait; we've got a problem!" He said.
"What's wrong?" Bronze Mage said.
"Lightning man and captain Dynamo, they were practicing their electricity attacked, and..."
They came walking in, stuck to each other.
"There was a sudden static build up between the two, and now they are stuck clinging together; no matter what we do we cant get them apart!"
Rodney finished.
While most of the VEC were trying to think of removing the two of them, the Blood Alchemist sat on a balcony sipping a glass of red wine under the falling snow....
"Christmas... Wait great memories you bring to me..", Hohenheim said to himself sarcastically as he sipped his glass...
Just then Vivian walked up to him and asked, "Hey Hohenheim, why do you seem all depressed?"
The Blood Alchemist responded, "I'm just remembering my past experiences as a Colormen during this time of year... I don't know whether I should hate those memories or enjoy them... Plus, being an Alchemist never really say well with the Church's ideologies, so this time of year can be a little awkward for me..."
"Well your not alone on that front, we magicians feel the same way, and really the only reason we celebrate the holiday is to atract new members and to make fun of actual non-believers of the Horned One.."
"Yeah your right..", and Hohenheim chuckled after replying
"Just remember us villains have each other now, ever since VEC was refounded, life has gotten better for people like us... It's way better now then from when it was first founded...", Vivian replied
"Yeah two many conflicting ideas back then... Good thing all of us had 400 years to cool our heads and learn to cooperate together..", said the Blood Alchemist
"Yeah", replied Vivian as the two laughed
"So come on back to the party"
"I will after I do this...", and Hohenheim kissed her, while Vivian's face turn red...
"I'm sorry, I have no idea what came over m-", was all the Blood Alchemist could say before Vivian slapped him and returned to her room...
Hohenheim gave chase, but neither of them realized they had become influenced by mysterious Christmas mistletoe above them...
Meanwhile, everyone was still trying to figure out how to separate captain Dynamo and lightning man.
Inferno tried using a crowbar, but the elevtricty traveled through the metal and shocked him.
"Well that didn't work, any other ideas?"
One of the janitors held up a bottle of downy. "How about fabric softener?" He suggested.
"That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" Captain Dynamo screamed.
"Uh... I don't want to alarm you captain Dynamo... But I went all out on the triple bean burritos for lunch; I had like eight of them." Lightning man said.
A look of mortal terror was in captain dynamo's face.
Just then a gurgling noise came from Lightning Man's stomach, "Oh no", was all he could say before he ran to the bathroom, dragging Captain Dynamo with him.
After that, all that was heard from the two was the sound of death itself and moaning coming from inside the bathroom and screams from Captain Dynamo saying, "Oh God why did it have to be me!"
Derrick the Janitor said, "we're gonna need to call a plumber and replace a lot of toilet paper... But I can already lots of scrubbing and vomit in my future.."
Tyler, the other janitor, shook his head in agreement.
"Orb of Cleaning!"
There was a flash of light, and Vivian walked in, brushing her hands together.
"Take the rest of the day off," she said to the janitors. "And by the way, Lighting Man and Captain Dynamo... I ship Lynamo."
"We never should have shown her Fanfiction.net" said the Bronze Mage.
"You know, I can see it." Said Chessmaster.
"Hey, I've got a girlfriend you know!" Captain Dynamo said. "I'm just glad she's not here to see this." He added under his breath.
"Wait! I got it!" And Catherine went off to get a metal hangar.
She came back and rubbed it in between the two where there clothes met, and the two came unstuck.
"I don't believe it, it worked!" Captain Dynamo said.
"I feel so relieved...ugh, no I don't!" And suddenly he ran into the bathroom again.
Meanwhile, Nesseterina was being held prisoner by #8135A.
I can't remember much about numbers lady, so we cut to VEC76 and the evil doubles.
"Haha! We've successfully taken over the minds of four of the authors! Frank remains out ofour grasp, but not for long! Let's ruin the story!"
1 day tHomas and Bob (oc DO NOT STEAL U N00BS!!!1!!!!1!!) we're at teh stateeon
rosie is hot sed bob. I want to-
"No!" And Toz lunged at VEC76.
Suddenly, with a blinding burst of darkness, a voice cried, "I have you now, Toz!" It was... THE SCHNOZ!!
Just then, frank appeared in front of Toz and VEC76; turns out the Schnoz isn't a character in this story, it was actually Frank.
"Frank! Help me!"
"You got it!" Frank pulled out a button, and pressed it; and a giant safe fell on top of VEC76
"Don't worry Toz; you're safe now... No pun intended" Frank assured his friend.
"Ooooo.." moaned VEC76.
Toz stood up.
"Is he going to die?" Toz asked
"No, no one dies in this story... They just get really bad boo-boos." Frank explained.
"What about the Man in Egyptian Blue? He's 97 you know"
"Oh, yes, but it won't be in combat or anything like that; after he gets a major arc we'll let him go peacefully." Frank explained
"I see; so when will that arc happen?"
"Probably after we wrap up some of these plots; we've got a lot going on." Frank observed.
"Say, where Is your evil counterpart anyway?" Toz asked.
"Oh, I took care of Franz weeks ago" Frank smirked.
*meanwhile, in a tesseract, lying between dimensions*
I'll get you for this frank! I'm your evil self! Opposite to you in every way! You may be friendly, polite, intelligent, have a healing factor, have access to hammer-space and be genre Davy, but as your opposite that make me.... Darn it! I get the bad traits!" He kicked the ground in frustration.
But back on Sodor...
the Mountain Engines were working hard for the holiday season.
Since the party for Godred's return had lost a large sum of money for the Mountain Railway, they were working extra hard to make up for their extravagant time wasted...
The engines had no concerns. They were just glad that their No.1 was back. Unfortunately, they didn't realize that the railway was going out of business...
The traffic the railway had was plenty though, so money was coming in to save it.
Meanwhile, diesel 12 had gotten to the wharf where he saw it.
"diesel 0; there he is! But why is he on a barge?"
Then, a hole opened underneath them, and they fell in.
"AHHHHHHHHH!!"
But in reality it was water spilling into the barge from the active waves in the canal. Diesel 12 raced after the barge but due to the heavy snow falling, he lost it when it disappeared away from his track. The last image he saw before it vanished in the falling snow was a strange, eerie green lights that seemed to come from the front of the boat towing the barge...
Meanwhile, VEC headquarters was swamped... literally.
It seems a certain "someone's" bowels couldn't be handled by the base's plumbing, and since it was built on top of a swamp, it overflowed into the base itself...
The Bronze Mage was most annoyed. "Dang it!" he said. "Why on earth must we
"Ugh! My pen broke!"
A minute later, the writer returned with a new pen and began writing again.
Derrick and Tyler the janitors came in. They sighed, put on gas masks and Hazmat suits and began cleaning up.
"What a mess!" they said. "This won't do at all!"
It seems the construction of Diablo Tower will have to be put on hold until this mess is sorted out... Maybe this is a warning for future events? Who knows... Only time will tell...
Meanwhile...
Jack the Ripper had returned, and was causing some problems.
Yes the notorious Jack the Ripper, who in actuality was named Steve and the only things he ripped were shirts since he always wore shirts to small for him. He had planed on signing up for VEC, but due to their base's crisis, were not accepting members for the time being...
So that left him out on the streets, trying to find another shirt to kill.
Unfortunately, he stepped into some quicksand. "****," he groaned.
But the quicksand was only an inch deep, so he stepped out, and decided his best option to join VEC, after giving up on the D-11 gig, was to camp outside of Diablo Tower, so Steve pinched a tent and began his wait...
Good for him.
While this happened, there were bigger problems. Man In Blue was being attacked by Cubii (including Xex, Doomboy, and Cutebunny, as well as two more named Gennaro and Beardsley).
"Help! Please!"
But no one wanted to help.
"Um... I have to wax my cat." Said Man In White.
"I have to contact my colorman ancestors for advice." Said Man In Silver.
"I have to feed my Oblivious Quivious." Said Man In Gold.
"I have to go do some depressing subplot where I battle my guilt for what I did while evil."Said Man In Black.
"I have to go get my first speaking role." Said Man In Gan Green.
"I have to pee." Said Man In Pink.
"I have to throw a brick in the air and wait 5000 posts." Said Man In Orange.
"We have to, uh, go give our pet orangutan a bath." Said Man and Woman in Yellow.
"I have to go write an angry letter about how long Season 19 is taking to air." Said Man In Gamboge.
"I have to clean the gutters."
"I have to destroy ISIS."
"I have to go pick up that lampshade from the site
store."
"I have to sneeze- ACHOO!"
"Help!!!!!!!"
Meanwhile, CGT was getting ready to look for the other stones. CGT walked over to a tomb before getting kicked in the back of the head, CGT got up and turned around.
"Ah, Wellsworth, we meet again." CGT said.
"You will not get that stone." Wellsworth said.
"And why?"
"This is why" Wellsworth pulled out a green stone and used it on CGT, turning him into a thick paper sculpture, but CGT broke out into hundreds of paper versions of himself.
"You are outnumbered." CGT said.
"Not Quite" said Wellsworth as he used the green stone again, and TGC, Toz, Frank, Tug, and Doc Knickerbocker appeared behind him.
"We are still outnumbered in terms of actual beings, but we outnumber you in strength" TGC said.
"D-11 is being executed immediately." CGT said.
The writers had 10 minutes to defeat CGT and get through the tomb to find the Purple stone.
TGC pulled out a large sword that he could only holfwith 2 hands. "I knew that video game item transferrer would come in handy someday."
"Wait, paper? I got just the thing."
And Frank pulled a flamethrower out of hammerspace
Frank used the flamethrower but one of the CGTs simply pulled out his hand and the fire went around, lighting all the other CGTs on fire. CGT then simply pulled his hand into a fist and the CGTs formed into a large ball of fire which rocketed at Frank, knocking him out. CGT turned his hand and the other CGTs were extinguished.
"He's definitely got writer powers." TGC said.
"Yes, when you killed VEC76 and Franz their power was added to mine!" CGT said.
"I know just what to do." Toz said. "I can tell his weakness is creativity, similar to one of the beasts in the AGF dimension, our normal attacks won't do much. I think he can also change forms at will once he is turned into them once" CGT sank through a crack in the floor down to another level. "TGC, Doc, you go down the right path, Toz and I will go down the left." Wellsworth said.
Frank woke up much sooner than expected.
CGT was shocked "What?! How did you?!"
"Hey, weren't you paying attention to my introduction? I have a healing factor, i recover from injuries 2400% faster than normal" Frank pointed out. "Oh, and you can't have Franz's powers; he's not dead."
"What?! Of course I have his powers! Why wouldn't I?"
"Like I said earlier; Franz is trapped in a tesseract. Though I suppose you could argue he is dead since he'll never escape it, and VEC76 just has big boo boos, he's not dead either, so really, I think you are just..."
"QUIET!" And he shot an energy blast at Frank... which he subsequently recovered from.
"I say I have their powers and that is that!" CGT fumed.
"Whatever you say." Frank then pulled a smoke bomb out, and disappeared in the cloud to find his companions.
The other writers were...
Proceeding to fight their other dimensional counterparts...
Tug had somehow fallen down a hole after arriving, he had been working on his plans for his crazy Sea Train idea when he was teleported here. When he opened his eyes, he saw a familiar, but different face in front of him...
"Hello my doppelgänger...", said the mysterious person...
"Who are you?", Tug asked
"I'm Guttenberg Shippington Ventofolio the IV, also known as Gut, and I'm a wanted inter-dimensionsal criminal, and I'm here to get revenge for trapping my partner..", responded the man called Gut
"How exactly?", Tug asked again
"By destroying you of course..", and Gut pulled out an entire barrage of weapons that were hidden on his back...
"Figures my counterpart would be open with his name and a wanted criminal...", Tug said quietly
"Too bad for you, once I end you, your friends will be next...", Gut said as he laughed manically
"The one thing you should know about me is I'm not just a mechanical engineer, I'm a former member of the Ice Emperor Syndicate...", Tug replied
"So what?", Gut questioned
"It means I can fight!", and Tug ran up to Gut, punched him in the face, and revealed two knives from within his sleeves...
"Well this got interesting..", said Gut and the two proceeded to begin a showdown...
Toz was floating on a hoverboard made of Toz (the energy... to avoid confusion, the mystical energy force I control will now be called Toze, or Toz energy).
"You know, I expected my evil double to be more intimidating. You're nothing but an advertising slogan!"
"So you think!"
A change came over VEC76. His armor changed from black and yellow to red and gold. His mask disappeared. When the transformation was complete, he was...
"No! Grammar Police! Anyone but you..."
Grammar Police attacked Toz viciously. Toz summoned some Toze, but Grammar Police punched right through it.
"I feed off your life force, Toz! There is no escape! DIDINUATE!"
GP shot a ray of light at Toz's head. Toz fell back and landed in a pile of Toze. The Toze lapped around him as if it were absorbing him.
"Haha! Do you know what that spell did? Soon you will..."
Right before Toz was completely engulfed in the healing cocoon, he pointed at GP and spoke one word... "Destroy."
The Toze that wasn't contained in the cocoon turned towards Grammar Police. This man had hurt the master. He would pay.
While this happened, another set of evil doubles duked it out...
TGC had found CGT and was trying to fight off his different forms, he kept changing forms until TGC was stabbed by his metal form right in the chest. TGC closed his eyes and saw 6 lights, green, red, blue, yellow, purple, and cyan. They changed to a solid form, the colors divided into sections on a medalion. The red and blue stones floated out of TGC's pocket, the cyan one from CGT, the green one from Wellsworth, and at the abandoned forum the mask started floating. They all appeared in front of TGC's stabbed body, with the Purple stone floating out of the mask and the yellow one out of a tomb, they floated into the mask and the mask landed on TGC's face. TGC stood up, his Biggoron sword turning into a cyan and yellow sword, his clothes turning purple and blue, and the mask changing to red and green, TGC spun his sword and stabbed CGT,the hole got bigger until CGT was gone completely, TGC fainted from exhaustion.
Meanwhile, man in blue was furious;
"Stop acting out of character and help me already!!" He fumed. "And you don't have a cat, white!"
"I adopted one of the kittens! But yes, you're right, attack!"
The cubinwere suddenly surrounded and attacked by several Colormen... Until man in Capri managed to trap the cuvi under a giant fishbowl.
"I think I'm finally getting the hang of these powers!" Capris said excitedly.
At the same time Frank was thinking "hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't have trapped Franz in that tesseract weeks prior to this plot; kinda makes for lazy writing and destroys a lot of potential... Eh, nothing I can do about it; once a tesseract is made it can't be undone" he shrugged.
He took out a chalkboard, and decided to help his friends. To distract the bad guys he scratched the chalkboard, creating that hideous screeching sound no one likes.
TGC woke up and ran into the room with Toz and Grammar police, and punched Grammar Police launching him across the room.
"You aren't quite done with us yet." a voice said.
TGC turned around. "TheGuysCast!" TGC said, the effects of the mask wearing off. TheGuysCast ran towards TGC but TGC fell on the mask, pressing the medalion, the 6 triangles on the medalion separated, while still on the mask, the mask, TGC, Toz, Doc, and Tug all teleported to the prison to free D-11, but they ran into another person.
"TheGuysCast2!" TGC said, as TheGuysCast1 teleported behind the four in the hallway. Frank tried to summon something with Hammerspace but TheGuysCast2 grabbed Frank's arm. TGC closed his eyes and thought far back to the beginning...
...One day Thomas went to pick up a freight train at the Quarry. He backed up towards his line of freight cars and was prepared to leave, but something didn't feel quite right...
..."I say that enough is enough." and he pulled out a remote control and pressed rewind; he didn't release the button until Thomas was back at the Quarry...
"The remote!" TGC said, putting his hand over his ear and entered a call.
"Don? Are you there?" TGC asked.
"Yes, I was written out a while ago,I'm in a cell and all I have is this thing labelled "Hammerspace accessor"" Don said.
"Yes! Grab the remote from the beginning through there and then put it back while thinking of me." TGC said.
Don did what TGC said and TGC grabbed the remote from the air.
"I'm dissapearing..." Don said.
"That means your final purpose in this story has been fulfilled. Goodbye Don." TGC said before the call ended.
By then TGC was being transported to the prison where D-11 was being kept. TGC pulled out the remote and pointed it at TheGuysCast2, and pressed the play button, causing a laser to go straight through TheGuysCast2's head, TheGuysCast1, now just TheGuysCast teleported away. TGC ran over to D-11's sell and melted the lock with the laser.
"Let's go now, we have other arcs to finish." TGC said before the 5 teleported away.
Meanwhile, things were getting back.
"Where the @#$% is Diesel 0?!" cried Diesel 5000 XL.
Meanwhile VEC only had their upper floors operational, and we're stuck on them while Derrick and Tyler pumped the swamp water out of the lower levels of the base...
"This is going to severely limit recruiting for the time being", the Bronze Mage said
"Yeah, it would be horrible if someone tried to join us while this was going on...", replied Owl Man
During this time, Steve the Ripper was sitting outside Diablo Tower waiting....
Anyways, the Blood Alchemist was still trying to figure out how to see Vivian after the Makeout fiasco the other day...
"Man for being over 400 years, I'm acting like a teenager..", he said to himself, feeling love for the first time, Hohenheim had no idea what to do with his feelings...
So he decided to examine his heart. RIP!
Figuratively, of course...
Meanwhile the Colormen, who surprisingly haven't made an appearance in a while, were...
Getting ready for Christmas.
Man in reddish green was excitedly decorating the great hall, eager for Christmas to come.
"Same thing every Christmas" man in blue observed
"Can you blame him? He loves the holidays" man in silver pointed out.
Meanwhile, the Dimensional Colormen were trying to cover up for the loss of CGT. "He was our strongest member, now we hardly have any strength left." Dimensional Man In Mauvish Shade of Purpley-Orange said. "You seem to have forgotten about 'it'." Dimensional Man In Blue said. "Oh, yes of course." DMIMSOPO said. Meanwhile, Toz and Frank were getting character development.
"So Toz how's it going being an energy force and fixing universal mistakes when the writer messes up?", asked Frank
"Fine, how's that venture into being a PI?", Toz asked in response
"That kinda went bad after cases stopped flowing in, Tug and I went on to form an engineering company from the ashes, but business has been slow since Tug went to work on his crazy Sea Train idea.. I've mostly been just hanging out looking for something to do...", replied Frank
"Want to go check on TGC so we can finally end this adventure and get rid of the doubles, probably, for good?", asked Toz
"Sure", Frank responded as the duo left on Toz's flying carpet to go find TGC...
Toz suddenly pointed out that he didn't have a flying carpet, and was still in the Toze Healing Chamber anyway. Frank began falling...
As this happened, Woman In Orange was talking to her mom.
"What happened to you?"
"My legs were chopped off by Deathnote. I need you to get as many prisms as possible so you can heal me and go back to normal."
"They said you were evil!"
"I've learned my lesson. Now go!"
Woman In Orange took multiple trips to get 400 prisms into a blue pickup truck that her mom had parked out front. When the truckbed was full, she called out: "Are you ready to be healed?"
"Why yes, my dear."
Woman In Orange looked out to see her mom, with her legs and everything, in a super-cool evil outfit.
"I am...Vengeance Bringer!"
Suddenly, 30 or so women in green popped out of the bushes.
"I'd like to introduce Femme Dans Vert and the VERT-I-GOES. All the French Colorwomen with Vert in their color quit when the other Couluerfemmes joined forces with some "Braniac". Now, they work for me..."
Suddenly, Femme Dans Vert De Hooker and Femme Dans Vert D'eau jumped onto the truck. Femme Dans Vert and Vengeance Bringer leapt in too, and the truck drove off. Woman In Orange ran in hot pursuit, but the other VERT-I-GOERS were on her tail. They weren't using any spells for fear they'd miss and hit the truck. Woman In Orange decided to use this to her advantage.
She quickly used her most powerful attack- a ray of frost. Femme Dans Vert Kaki, Femme Dans Vert Lime, and Femme Dans Vert Lichen fell to the ground shivering, but the others were gaining. With a flying leap, she jumped onto the back of the truck and he held on.
Femme Dans Vert Pin, the second-in-command of the VERT-I-GOERS, told the others to open fire, while she and Femme Dans Vert Anis jumped on next to her and prepared to attack. Femme Dans Vert De Vessie shot a fireball at Woman In Orange, but she curled into a ball and used the force of the explosion to land in the truckbed- and stab herself with a Prism. Ouch!
Vert Pin and Vert Anis waved the others off, and climbed in after our heroine. Woman In Orange grabbed the Prism she had hurt herself with and used it as a shield, but the two French Colorfolk were getting closer. Suddenly, the spirit of that prism (hereafter Prism of Pain) took action. A burst of energy sent Vert Anis over the side, and Vert Pin was wounded.
Suddenly, a shadow loomed. It was Woman In Orange's mom, Vengeance Bringer, and Femme Dans Vert.
"You die now," said Femme Dans Vert, the only French Colorwomen who could speak English.
The last thing she saw before the Prism of Pain teleporting her to safety made her lose conciousness was her mom's rage-filled face.
Meanwhile...
Man In White, who had been watching everything from the Helmet of Cronk, gave the signal.
"Do it, now!" the Colormen tactician said. "i hope this works" he said; after all, he only had three minutes to act the moment the helmet showed him what was going on.
The Colormen went on the counterattack. In front of the fleeing truck a giant suddenly appeared.
"MAN IN CERULEAN!?" Vengeance bringer gasped. In one mighty strike of the giant spike, he slammed down on the truck, bringing it to a brutal crash and sending Vengeance Bringer flying, man In Cerulean caught several of the stolen prisms as they went flying, while others remained in the truck.
About 40 other Colormen suddenly appeared as several French Colorwomen, while most retreated, those that stayed behind suddenly found themselves surrounded... and trapped in a giant fishbowl.
"Ha! Now I can conjure 8 at once!" Man In capris said proudly... despite having trapped himself in one too.
Man In White at last appeared.
"It looks like we recovered a good deal of them, but not all of them... no doubt Cerulean wasn't able to capture all the ones that went flying."
The Colormen assessed the situation, and then returned to the Great Hall when all was controlled.
(later)
Man In Blue gathered the Colormen, and whichever Colorwomen could make it, in the Great Hall meeting area.
"...these Prisms were on the floor which I explicitly made clear no one is allowed to enter. The Prisms here are a great power, and it is our responsibility to make sure it never falls into the wrong hands, even though our research shows that prism power used for evil is significantly weaker than prism power used for good. Now I want to make this clear, no one, under any circumstances, is allowed to remove any of the other prisms without first consulting the Colormen as a whole; we cannot risk any more of these prisms getting out into the world, and if this happens again, I will have no choice but to seal the floor again."
After the meeting, Man In Blue went to see Woman In Orange.
"You have a lot of explaining to do" he said, looking at her. "You were tricked, weren't you?"
"Yeah she told me she was injured and needed the power of those prisms to heal herself..", replied the Woman in Orange
"Alright then, please don't do that again, we don't want you to blame yourself if the prisms fell in to the wrong hands, so check with us next time you do something like that, ok?", the Man in Blue responded
"Ok.."
Meanwhile, we cut away to a dockside railway....
The Locomotive, for its size, is the most powerful vehicle on land, and the Steam Engine is the power behind the passenger and goods trains that make up a big city railway. This is TRAINS.
"No it isn't." Toz said, with a look on his face that said "Useless post"
But a recent income of emails complaining about the lack of attention the engines were getting made the writer decide to shift focus to the Sudrian engines.
Sir Topham Hatt had arranged a meeting with TGC; he wanted to know if any of his rescued steam engines were eager to participate in the steam festival, and if others were shy and rather be left out.
"he should be here any moment" Hatt said to himself.
TGC arrived. "What a small building!" he said. "This won't do at all."
"I think it's nice," said STH.
"Humph," said TGC. "Whatever is that rubbish?"
The rubbish turned out to be STH's stamp collection.
"Wait, small building? They're at Knapford!" The writer erased that last bit.
"Sir Topham Hatt, good to see you again."
"Likewise TGC; now, about your engines, which ones will be In the steam festival?"
"All of 'em. Every dill pickle of an engine will be there!"
"We've got him!" he said.
BOOM!!
"Why did you say boom?"
"Uh... What was the plan again?"
"Arg!" And he bolted out the door
"Ok, I got my burger... Say, where did TGC go?" Hatt asked.
Just then, TGC walked up to Sir Topham Hatt. "Sorry I'm late, got held up by a teleporting phone box, so, all my engines will be arriving at the festival." "You said that a minute ago before I went to get a burger without a pickle!" Sir Topham Hatt said. "That must mean..." TGC ran off to find TheGuysCast
At the same time, Frank had just recovered from his fall.
"Jeez, that was way too confusing. Now then, I suppose I should check on my ammunition factory I haven't been to in a while."
So Frank boarded a train and went to go check it.
Meanwhile...
Sgt. York had everything in range. "Alright," he thought, "now I'll just–"
"STOP! In the name of the King!"
He looked up. There stood King Godred.
Sergeant York immediately woke up and said, "Man I got to stop falling asleep while on duty...", and he went back into position at his post...
Meanwhile, the Blood Alchemist finally had come to a decision, he decided he would try out this "love thing" and would ask Vivian out on a date and go with it from there....
"Let's hope this works...", said Hohenheim as he approached Vivian...
"Vivan?", asked the Blood Alchemist
"Yes Blood what is it?", responded Vivian
"Will you go on a date with me?", asked the Blood Alchemist...
Vivian responded in the affirmative; they would work out the details later.
Around that time, Man in blue was sealing the floor with the prisms again; he had no choice.
"We cannot allow even one more prism out in the world; we have to get them back." He concluded.
He went to see Man In white.
"I've sealed the floor again; from now on only you, me, gold, and silver can access it. Anyway, what was the count?" Blue asked
White looked over the report "of the 400 prisms, we were able to recover 257 of them..."
"Wow only that much, well this is bad", replied the Man in Blue
meanwhile...
35 Colormen had been dispatched to the area where the encounter occurred; they were searching everywhere for stray prisms from the accident. They had found some of them, but not all of them.
"You know what I don't get" Man In Scarlet asked. "The Prism that powers us is 4 feet by 2 feet by 2 feet. Which is pretty big if you think about it, so why are we finding it so hard to find these missing prisms?" he asked aloud
"Because the smaller prisms are 5 inches by 3 inches by 3 inches", replied the Man in Green
"Oh... That's small.."
Man In Blue eventually was forced to call off the search.
"90 prisms are still missing. Coupled with the 160 that were stolen earlier, that means they have 240 prisms."
"Actually, 250."
"Sorry, I can't math today. Or something. Anyhoo, what do we do?"
"I wouldn't worry too much. They're saving 200 prisms for the Horn Thing, so they'll only have fifty to use against us." Pointed out Man In Steel.
"Be as it may, they're becoming a real threat."
"Oh, come on! They're comic relief! Everyone knows Metalicana is the real villain."
"I thought it was Brainiac."
"Do we even know about them yet?"
"They aren't comic relief, any more than I'm lactose intolerant." Said Man In Cream. "They're just frequently written out of character."
"Does this include the one that Woman In Orange is not-so-inconspicuously hiding under her bed?"
Meanwhile, Woman In Orange had several items in a sack on her bed. They included her artifact, the Orange Ring, a Hornby James, and the Prism of Pain.
"No going back now. If I'm going to stop my mom, I need to do this."
She grabbed her artifact and chanted "Fook Eutrops Cun'rartrips Fliunig!" Before tapping the Prism with it.
The Prism shattered into six pieces.
Suddenly, the spell took action, banishing all living members of the Woman In Orange Lineage from Sodor for 400 years or until 6 months after the Prism of Pain is repaired, whichever comes first. Luckily, lack of a morality check prevented the creation of an anchor for this prism.
Woman In Orange landed on the beach near the Vicarstown Rolling Bridge. She had grabbed the sack, and all six pieces, the Hornby James, and her artifact were safe inside of it. She looked up to see Gordon crossing the Vicarstown Bridge, and felt a wave of sadness wash over her, but stopped herself. She was Madeline Bright, Woman In Orange! Nothing got her down! She would simply move in with her friend Stella Breckin. She would put the spare piece of the Prism of Pain in Hornby James and make a device to solve all the world's problems- like an upgraded Bachmann Edward! Her boyfriend could still visit her, and besides, her main goal had been accomplished. She was not the only member of her lineage to get banished from Sodor.
A little ways down the beach, Vengeance Bringer lay in the sand, screaming one word: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
As if this post wasn't depressingly dramatic enough, at that very moment Sir Topham Hatt's doctor said this shocking phrase:
"You need to start dieting."
Meanwhile, members of the VEC were having a rather philosophical discussion.
"Well, I think that character is such a dynamic thing, and people can change."
"That may be, but it is ridiculous to always be a way you are not."
"So what of being out of character?"
"Well it is kind of hard to be in character when so many of us lack character in the first place."
"I thought we were pretty well developed?"
"The VEC as a whole is, as are guys like bronze Mage, but most of us lack character, so it's had to stay in character when we don't know how to be ourselves."
"Take me for example. I am the general, I have a squeaky voice, but now I can talk normally when need be. I'm a great commander, but that says nothing about me as a person. Am I s gentleman? A sadist? A miser? Adventurous? What is my character, how do I act?"
"Or me, Doctor Lazer. All we know about me is my power and trading, I could be an anxious mess for all I know!"
"At least you r got something to go off of. Cracker Jack, yours truly, and Cracker Jill, we've got nothing but names at this point. I mean, what our abilities, let alone our personalities?!"
"And don't even get me started on Mark; have we even mentioned him since recruiting?"
"Ugh, for all we know we could be philosophical, what are we?" The member asked as at last, they just stared at each other, and tried to make sense of just who they were.
While this was going on, the Blood Alchemist was seated at a table across from Vivian trying out "their date". It was on the nicest balcony of the still under construction Diablo Tower and Sebastian was the chef of the evening. They Hohenheim even convinced Rodney the Intern to be the waiter for their evening...
"I better get extra hours for this..", Rodney said under his breath, "hello sir, madam, may I interest you in the specials this evening, they were specifically handpicked for the two of you?"
"Yes, we'll have the blood soaked steak with a glass of red wine each please...", the Blood Alchemist replied
"Alright away then sir, I'll return shortly with your order..", and Rodney left for the Kitchen while releasing a silent sigh of relief...
"So how is your experience so far?", asked Hohenheim to Vivian nervously. He might have been playing it calm, but on the inside, he felt like jumping off the balcony just to escape the feelings of his heart... But what he didn't know was Vivian had the same thoughts herself...
"I'm loving it, it's turning our way better then expected..", she replied, ready to jump out of her chair... They both thought been evil was way easier than trying to figure out the ways of the heart...
But before the Blood Alchemist could ask anymore questions, Ridney returned with the food...
"Here you go..", he said and he left the two alone for the time being..
When they started eating, violin music began to play, this was a measure created by Hohenheim to keep the meal from getting silent and awkward, and the person playing was Eddie Denim, who once belonged to an orchestra before eventually becoming broke and had to turn to a life of crime to pay the bills. They started conversations inbetween their meals, but talked only about personal things, like how many have you destroyed and what's your preferred method of controlling the human body, which seem to boring for our regular audience...
The meal was a serene event, with the night sky bright enough to warm any sort of onlooker's heart and a slight chill wind that didn't freeze you, but certainly left an impact on the memory, depending on your way of thinking...
Eventually the meal was finished and the music stopped. Eddie left while Rodney and Sebastain were left to clean up to give the couple space.
"I had a lot of fun Hohenheim, it was great talking to you..", said Vivian
"I as well... Do you think you would do something like this again with me?", asked the Blood Alchemist nervously
Vivian thought for a moment, did she really want to except her feelings, her answer, "Yes..."
The two went their separate ways that night after the meal, having newfound confidence of love being possible, even for evil, and all their fear of admitting their true feelings vanished. Though it might take steps to let it all out, they will get their eventually, for this is only the beginning...
Meanwhile Steve the Ripper was still outside in his tent waiting to join VEC...
Inferno stepped out.
"Hi, I'm Inferno from the Recruiting department. I hear you'd like a job?"
"What's the dental plan like?"
"Umm... not great. Most villains just let their teeth rot out. I'm sure we could arrange something for you."
Meanwhile...
Hessenhessen was busy. She was going to find her other siblings, Hassenhassen, Hussenhuseen, Hissenhissen, Hoossenhoossen, and Heessenheessen
Meanwhile, brother will kill brother, across the mighty lands – killing for religion, something I don't understand.
But since that made no sense, back to the engines.
Steam fest was in two months, and preparations needed to begin well ahead of time for it to be successful. Hatt was on the phone with one of the museums.
"I see... So he can come, but only on a flat car? Thank you." Hatt hung up the phone. "Poor City of Truro... Withdrawn from service because of tube problems. At least he will be welcome here, no matter what" Hatt remembered.
What no one knew, was that the White Man came over the sea, he brought us pain and misery. He killed our tribe; he killed our creed; he took our name for his own need. We fought him hard, we fought him well – over the plains, we gave him hell. But many came, too much for Cree. Oh will we ever be set free?
Riding through dust clouds and barren wastes, galloping hard on the plains, chasing the Redskins back to their holes, fighting them at their own game. Murder for freedom, the stab in the back – women and children are cowards – ATTACK!
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives.
Soldier blue in the barren wastes, hunting and killing their game, killing the woman and wasting the man, the only good Indians are tame. Selling them whiskey and taking their gold – enslaving the young and destroying the old....
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives.
Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for your lives. Run to the hills, run for your lives, run to the hills, run for you liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiives.
Have you guessed what was going on? Yes, the British were invading the Native Americans!
Frank took the remote from Diesel 11
"Stop changing the channel on us!" He told him. And put it back to Sodor
Hatt was pleased with how this was all turning out; a steam fest like this was surely the first of its kind.
Then he got an unusual call. "Hello, who is this? Ozzie Osbourne's agent? Huh? He wants to play "Crazy Train" live at steamfest? Well, I don't know; I'll have to talk to someone about it."
Hatt got off the phone and thought "now who can I talk to about this kind of thing?"
"Me!" said Diesel 11.
"Okay..."
"Go ahead, you should play it."
"I've never even heard the song!"
Diesel 11 started singing.
"All aboard! (Ha-ha-ha..)
Ay-ay-ay..
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love
And forget how to hate
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
Let's go!
I've listened to preachers
I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts
Who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You gotta listen to my words
Yeah
Heirs of a cold war
That's what we've become
Inheriting troubles I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something' that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train
I'm going off the rails on a crazy train."
But Diesel 11 was promptly locked out of the writing room so he couldn't post meaningless %$#*!
So Sir Topham Hatt decided to give Ozzie a go, but on the condition that he "not eat any bats"
Later, Duck and Oliver were called to Knapford; Sir Topham Hatt had an important job for them.
"Next week, City of Truro will be coming to Sodor as promotion for the Steam Fest. Due to his tubes he will have to come here on flatcar. As fellow GWR engines, it will be your job to transport him" Hatt explained to them.
"Yes sir!" they said.
"Good! Now for a morning donut.."
But work had to go on all over the island.
In special areas, temporary track was being laid down to accommodate special gauges and other engines. Though some would run, many would be static displays for assorted reasons.
D-11 went to see Hatt one day; he wanted to know if there was anything the numbered diesels could do to help.
"Why, yes," said Sir Topham Hatt, "they can STAY CLEAR OF MY STEAM FESTIVAL!!"
"What?"
"Sorry, that was out of character. Well, if there's anything they can do help with preparations, that would be good." Hatt said.
"Good."
"Now, I want you all to help out with the Steam Festival, so–"
"Us help out with a @#$%ing Steam Festival?! You've got to be out of your @#$%ing mind!!" said Diesel 5000 XL.
*Facepalms*
A worker threw three bars of soap into 5000 XL's mouth.
*cough-cough* "agh, ok, sorry! Sorry!" He said as he coughed up bubbles.
"Now then, where were we?... Ah, yes, we were talking of The steam festival, now, Diesel 10, I need you to...
While most of the numbered Diesels got their orders Diesel 6 was fighting a small fire inside a shed at Tidmouth, Diesel 6 entered the shed but he building collapsed on top of him, Belle and Flynn fought the fire, and Diesel 6 was not killed, but his cab was bent to the side. Walkins had arrived to look over Diesel 6, when he thought of it. "I've got it! I can fix Diesel 6's biggest problem, I can make his front swivel so he can see to the side, and while he is at it aim his foam cannons without a driver to assist!" And Reginald Walkins ran off to find his old Diesel 6 papers
Diesel 5000 XL was complaining. "It's not fair!" he said.
"What's not fair?"
"Letting branch line diesels pull main line trains."
Meanwhile the Blood Alchemist was talking with the Bronze Mage. it had been a few weeks since Hohenheim's first date, and since then, he and Vivian had gone on many more...
"So Bronze I have this crazy idea that I want your personal opinion on..." said the Blood Alchemist
"Well what is it?" asked the Bronze Mage
"I... want to propose to Vivian" replied Hohenheim
"You mean like marriage propose?" asked the Bronze Mage
"Yeah..." the Blood Alchemist replied again
The Bronze Mage got an idea. If two evil people who were brought together by the organization and had found true love, it could become a great selling point to potential new members, so he responded...
"That would be great, but you haven't been together all that long, and you know how Viv is about that sort of thing."
"Yeah, I guess."
Meanwhile, it was snowing at Tidmouth Sheds.
Christmas was coming, and for that reason STH had moved the Steam festival back till January...
"Bother this snow, I ruins my paintwork..." James said scoffingly
"Bother your paintwork, snow's dangerous if you don't pay close enough attention to it James, so be careful" Henry said warningly
"What do you have a history with snow or something Henry?" asked James
"In fact I do" replied Henry, "I've gotten stuck in it so many times I've learned to be more cautious around it falling like it is today..."
"Danne worry yerself, Henry; wee got this, ye know" Donald and Douglas said. Back to back with a coach, the Scottish twins set to work as usual, clearing the lines of snow.
"Great!"
Unfortunately, when Hohenheim did ask Vivian, he found that she didn't like blood. In fact, she just went out with him to 'humor' him.
The Blood Alchemist came back, crushed.
"I told you you should have waited. Now she'll probably go out with Blackmagei or Xex or..."
Hohenhiem inturrupted the Bronze Mage.
"Well...
The writer had nothing, so he went back to the engines.
The Colormen and Mr Conductor had resolved their confusion, so they made peace and he went on his way. On Thomas's Branch line, Toby was surprised to see mr. Conductor waiting for him one the platform.
"It's you!" Toby said, surprised.
"Yes, sorry about that; something strange came up, but I'm back now" he assured.
"So, what do we do next?"
"Listen to some
"What?"
"Just making sure you're awake Toby. Anyway, there was something I wanted to tell you."
"What?"
Meanwhile at the docks...
Cranky was unloading a box of CDs.
Meanwhile the Blood Alchemist was waking up from his crazy dream...
"Wow... I guess that's a premonition for if I jump the gun with Vivian, I better wait then..." he said t ohimself as he went back to bed...
To bring an end to an arc that really is not going anywhere, the numbered diesels asked the tugs for help rescuing diesel 0
They sprang a trap, and as Ten Cents, Hercules, O.J. and Top Hat trapped the green-eyed tugs, Big Mac rescued Diesel 0 by recovering his barge.
"That'll teach you two!" Ten Cents said.
"Oh no, you again!" the said, feeling a strange sense of deja vu.
Captain took them to Port Authority, and the tow Green-Eyed Tugs will never be heard from again... probably...
Diesel 0 was put back on the rails and was reunited with his brothers. They went back to the Dieselworks to start their celebration of Christmas...
Meanwhile, Man In Black was hiding in a corner. Man In Pink walked up.
"Should I ask?"
"It's Man In Gold. Every time I see him, he yells at me for something stupid."
"Why?"
"I, er... I may have murdered his wife about 15 years ago."
"Well, I'm not the expert on forgiveness *coughcoughfortunetellerladywhosnameescapesmecough*, but I'd say you should start with an apology. The three steps to a proper apology are: Say sorry, admit it was your fault, and ask how to make it right."
"Yeah, because that works so well. 'Sorry for killing your wife, my bad, I'll buy you a new one'. NO!"
"Well, we need to wrap up this plotline somehow, so you'll have to figure something out," said Man In Pink, winking at the camera.
.....
"Why is he winking at the security camera?" asked Woman In Alice Blue.
"He likes me!" squealed Man In Electric Indigo.
Meanwhile, TGC , Toz76 , Biblically Accurate Angel , frankthetriviaman , and Tug were on a space ship called the Dragoex. They had just been struck by a meteor...
But this took place 20 years past what was happening in this story, so it's continued in the long games board.
Back in 2015, the Star Tugs were watching Star Trek.
Space: the final frontier for man.
Captain Zero walked in.
"What? That makes no sense" The writer crossed that line out.
the star tugs were getting ready for their day of work.
Some freighters were coming in, and they would have to divide the work among themselves to bring them all in efficiently and on time
B u t m e a n w h i l e , a c e r t a i n m a n w a s w a i t i n g f o r a d e l i v e r y o f d o u g h n u t s .
Diesel 11 was then locked out of use writer room again.
Back to the tugs...
However, since The Number of the Eyes did not have his posting privileges revoked, he proceeded to post.
The TUGS had been...
getting ready for the Christmas season...
A thick frost had started to form on top of the ocean, so it was getting harder to move...
"It's going to be another Bigg Freeze," Ten Cents quipped.
"Aye, be glad at least the harbormaster will be bringing in an ice-breaker in case of emergencies". Big Mac Said.
"How could ice form here anyway? The ocean is salt water" sunshine asked.
"It seems ice from the north has floated down this far... But I can't believe this cold to keep it all together" replied OJ
"I think It's because of that Global Warming thing I always here protesters go on and on about..." Warrior chimed in
Meanwhile...
A dark, unknown identity walked into the town.
"I'll plunge this world into everlasting doom..."
But there were enough plots going on right now, so he had to be axed.
At the Great Hall, Man In Reddish Green was decorating for Christmas, his favorite time of the year.
But in the archives, a lonely Man In Gold had but a small tree on his desk, and an old photo of his wife and son. Christmas was the most wonderful time of the year, but it is pretty hard for the 47 year old to agree when he no longer had anyone to share the holiday with.
He simply sighed then went back to work, while other Colormen were celebrating with their families int their apartments, or getting ready to go home for the holidays if they lived elsewhere.
Meanwhile, a new character had arrived. His name was Seasons In The Abyss, or Seasons for short. He met Diesel 11 by the bridge.
"It's good to finally meet you."
"Yes, it is indeed."
"Did you bring the package?"
"Of course."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
The two took out of the package, an MP3 player. They turned it on, and as Irish music began to play, they started river dancing.
"I can't believe the readers actually voted for that one" the writer said in shock
Poll: what should d-11 and season do?
A) Discuss politics 21%
B) river dance 58%
C) eat cake 8%
D) explain a critical plot point 13%
Apparently, the people decided that they should river dance... but this isn't a democracy.
Suddenly, Inferno appeared next to D11.
"Not a democracy? What a delightfully evil thought! Would you like to join VEC?"
"You know, I am one of the writers, so I could easily write you out of existence" d-11 pointed out
Terrified at that thought, inferno backed off
Seasons pondered..
"Sure!" he finally said. "If you don't have anything against metal." (And my name is Seasons In The Abyss, or Seasons for short, not Diesel 11.)
"I love metal! Bronze, Tin, Copper, you name it!"
"I think he meant the music." Said :;: with amusement. :;: was Inferno's robotic intern. No, I do not know how to pronounce it.
"Oh, you mean like Hangar 18? Or that sort of thing? Worldender's really into that sort of music."
"Hey wait; WE'RE the interns!" Catherine and Rodney said, having never heard of a :;: before.
At any rate, Seasons In The Abyss became a new VEC member. And, since he was friends with [at least one of] the Writers, the Bronze Mage made him a high-ranking VEC member.
"I'm his intern," said :;:, "you are the VEC's interns. There's a difference. Plus, I have no arms or legs, I'm just a floating ball."
"You're argument makes no sense!" Said Rodney.
"Sorry, Rod. Too bad."
Seasons In The Abyss went on to blast some Slayer..
Raining blood!!
Meanwhile, the Dimensional Colorfolk were tying to recover from the loss of CGT.
"He was only 15, and now that he is dead the Dimensional Man In Lime line is gone." Dimensional Man In Gold said.
"Not quite." A man said, stepping in.
"Lucas! Where have you been?" DMIG said.
"I came back, after realizing that my brother was killed by TGC I decided to join as the new Dimensional Man In Lime. I'm 26, and I have a kid, so the line will be saved if I'm given the power by our prism." Lucas said.
"Also, it turns out I've found another Diesel 11, he goes by the name of Seasons, and he is a VEC member now." Lucas said.
"Darn! We will have to meet with the VEC again! Why are Diesel 11s so hard to catch?!' DMIG said.
Meanwhile...
Seasons In The Abyss was settling into a life of VECness. He somewhat annoyed the others by playing a bit too much Slayer - "War Ensemble", "Raining Blood", "Angel of Death", and "Seasons in the Abyss", anyone? - but after all, it was dark music, and the VEC members loved that.
It was Christmas, and VEC was caroling.
"God rest ye merry gentlemen..."
"Why are we singing? Evil masterminds do not sing!" Snapped Chessmaster.
"It's an unusually dark Christmas song." Inferno explained.
At Tidmouth Sheds, relief drivers had showed up, since the regulars were at home Christmassing.
At Brendam Docks, the Tugs were all in drydock, to keep them safe from any icebergs that might float in.
The Colorfolk had put up a giant tree and got several hundred turkeys, and were now binge-watching Christmas movies.
"Can I have some turkey?"
"It's not dinner yet. If you try, I'll shoot your eye out!"
"Should we at least add some syrup for the spaghetti?"
"Are you done referencing Christmas movies yet?"
The Numbered Diesels were decorating a tree. With their claws. And Diesel 6's foam for fake snow. After which they listened to heavy metal covers of Christmas songs and ticked off everyone from Vicarstown to Kellsthorpe Road.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Sir Topham Hatt wasn't having a very merry Christmas, however. He had to...
Be stuck in traffic on his way home; then he's had a merry Christmas.
The numbered diesels were celebrating in their shed when.
"Hello diesels" Reginald Walkins said as he walked in
"Father!" The collectively said
"But...but... where's papa?" Diesel 0 said sadly
"Making the eggnog!"
And then the house next door burned down.
"Huh? That doesn't make any sense"
The writer crossed that line out.
The house next door lit up with Christmas lights; it looked amazing.
So to put Diesel 0 at ease, it turns out that Heinrich Bauer was...
...Making eggnog!
Unfortunately, he'd drunk a bit too much of it...
"Who said that? I haven't drank any of it!" Bauer said, offended.
He finished the last batch. "Ah, now that the family Eggnog recipe is ready, I think I'll... oh, that's right... family" Bauer sighed sadly. He looked at a picture of his wife; she had died before Diesel 0 was built. He once had children, but that was long ago... his son died in a car crash, and his daughter he had not seen since 1993.
He didn't know that many people, so when he picked up his phone, he called the one person who helped him the most recently.
"Hello? D-11? Yes, it's Heinrich. Are you busy now? I was wonder if you'd like to come over for some egg nog?" he asked.
"Sure thing!" he said. "Be right over!"
D-11 came over 20 minutes later.
Though he saw a Christmas tree, he was surprised to see how little there was. After sitting down for the egg nog, D-11 at last realized.
"You don't have a family; do you?" D-11 asked
"Not anymore" Bauer sighed. "It's kind of hard to celebrate Christmas when there is no one to share the holiday with" he lamented.
"Well, you do now have all of us - me, Jenkins, the Numbered Diesels."
And for the first time in years, Heinrich Bauer had a merry Christmas.