Post by Toz76 on Mar 15, 2021 4:22:17 GMT -5
Chief Investigator: Paladin Isaac Fard, Enforcement Division
Type Of Case: Murder, Supernatural
Identity Of Victim: Edward Bachmann, 38 years old, Caucasian Male
Statement of Chief Investigator:
"I received a call from Naralle Myskotovia, the proprietor of the Magic Underground's Coldview Apartments, on June 15, 2015, regarding her tenant Edward Bachmann, who had not been seen by her or any other occupants in months. Myself and Paladin Icarus Shid entered his apartment to discover it had been completely abandoned for weeks, based on the level of dust collected. A thorough search of the apartment revealed no recent magic signatures, only a large model railroad in a spare room and a lengthy journal in a desk drawer, both of which were collected as evidence. When a specific locomotive was removed from the model railroad, a portal to a small pocket dimension created by the victim was activated. The pocket dimension was a ten-foot cube decorated as a small lab, with several half-disassembled pieces of magitek devices found and collected as evidence. The body of Mr. Bachmann was found buried under a pile of spare parts. His skull had been cleanly sliced open by an unidentified spell, and his brain had been cleanly removed from his skull. Professor Camin My was unable to find any DNA or magical samples from any individuals other than the victim. As of now, no suspects have been identified and the murder is unsolved. The brain has not been located."
Excerpts from Victim's Journal:
January 14: I hate Kendarboo's new friend, "Lightbringer". He's such a whiny creep, always either complaining or rambling about his weird cult. I don't care about the "Horned One", weirdo. Almost as nutty as those Teatro-Toicho types. Kendarboo seems to think he's going to be useful for our project though, so I guess I'll put up with him for now. We attached a screen to the Device today. In theory, if we ever actually get it working, the Device can communicate with us through lights and images on the screen. Teaching it language will be a monumental task, but pictograms are doable.
January 19: Just found out my old college boyfriend, James Hornby, is working with the Bloodied Blade now. Good for him. I'm not jealous at all. Oh, who am I kidding! I'm turning 38 tomorrow and I still haven't managed to make magic AI. Kendarboo and I have been working on this project for ten years now, and all we have to show for it is a bunch of broken copper pieces and a restraining order from the Helado Gang. The Device is our last hope.
January 23: Lightbringer, you wonderful man! I can't believe it. He found us a power source. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. It looks like a small crystal, with colors swirling around in it like little drops of paint, and it produces an incredible amount of magic resonance. Only Presuisoltian technology even comes close to this. It's perfect, but we need a way to get it to interface with the Device.
January 29: First test of the Device with the new power source. It was surprisingly promising- we got an actual signal for about three seconds before it blew a fuse. Kendarboo and I are going to have a late night fixing it, and hopefully tomorrow we'll have our first conversation with a true magical AI.
January 30: We souped up the Device to handle the massive power output of the crystal shard thing. The results are--- interesting. The screen came on, but instead of anything meaningful, all it showed was a thin green line. It seemed to move around a bit as we carried the Device around the room, and was always pointing northwest for some reason. The Device is trying to tell us something, but we have no idea what.
February 3: Kendarboo called me at 2 AM last night with amazing news- he's figured out what the green line means. It points to the strongest magic source in the area besides itself. It was pointing at the weird autopsy device Kendarboo bought way back when, and when he took it outside, it started pointing at lampposts, buildings, generators- whatever the strongest magic source around was. The Device is actually trying to communicate with us! Either that, or we've just invented the most expensive magic power detector ever.
February 11: There's a problem. Kendarboo has inspected the entire Device back to front five times, and figured out that it is still not operating as intended. Even with the insane amount of power the shard gives us, it's not enough for the Device to truly be an AI. Apparently we're going to need another shard to get the Device working. If such a thing even exists. I guess we could use the Device to find more shards, but I don't wanna risk taking it too far from the lab.
February 17: I am fed up with Kendarboo. He called me into the lab at unacceptable o-clock, telling me he figured out a way to get the Device working without finding a second shard. I was excited, but the solution he came up with? We stick a HUMAN BRAIN into the device. Apparently it will merge with the shard somehow, and replicate the neural network, to make it much easier to create an artificial intelligence. He even drew up some blueprints to explain the concept. What kind of maniac is he? Using a human brain? That's some necromancy nonsense, and I don't mess with the dark arts like that. We got into a big fight and I basically said if he wants my help anymore he can cut my brain out of my head, because I'm out.
February 23: I'm such an idiot! Kendarboo was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I should call him and apologize. Then again, maybe he should call me. "Let's use a human brain". Great idea, idiot.
March 8: Another day of doing nothing but play with trains. I modified the entrance to my study, now lifting the 4-4-0 off the repair siding opens the portal. That took three days of casting. Meanwhile, James Hornby is getting engaged. Lah-de-dah. "I'm James Hornby, I'm so cool and successful, I don't even stalk my ex on Magebook." What a nerd.
March 17: I swear I saw that Lightbringer guy lurking outside earlier. Is Kendarboo so scared to apologize that he's sending his creepy friend to do it for him? What a sad gesture.
March 23: I've been looking at these blueprints Kendarboo made, and they're terrible. Kendarboo knows what he's doing most of the time, but anyone who knows anything about magitek knows that this won't work. Based on the blueprints, what he's designed would convert the device into a magic scanner with massive range that scans specifically for more of those shard things. The human brain would just have its personality copied into the Device like some kinda messed up soul jar. I guess if you want to become an immortal scanner it's pretty cool, but it doesn't count as an AI. If I didn't know better, I'd say Kendarboo just wants to build a machine that scans for those shards for some reason. Why it has to be sentient, I don't know. Sounds like something those Horned One worshippers would be into. Just force some random dude into a cursed immortality where they have to search for shards and tell the owner of the Device how to find them. Big yikes. Granted, I think the device could be modified to give the brain inside more autonomy, but still... what a weird concept.
March 25: Saw Lightbringer outside again, carrying around that autopsy device. Probably taking it to the dump for Kendarboo. Good riddance. Kendarboo's a nutcase.
[No further entries were written. As the journal was updated inconsistently, we have no way of knowing how long after the March 25 entry Bachmann died.]
Interview with Kendarboo Flickerbee, Co-Worker of the Deceased
Interviewer: Pisarmic Drayfun, Junior Paladin
Drayfun: Thank you for meeting with us, Mister Flickerbee.
Flickerbee: Of course! Ed was a friend of mine, I was distraught to hear he passed.
Drayfun: How long have you and Mister Bachmann known each other?
Flickerbee: I hired him in... 2005, I think? Maybe 2006. He was interested in magitek and AI specifically, and he knew stuff about computers that I couldn't grasp, so he was perfect for the job. Plus, we have a shared interest in model railroading. We got on splendidly.
Drayfun: I understand you and Bachmann had a falling out?
Flickerbee: Sadly, yeah, we were working on a project and disagreed on how to progress, harsh words were exchanged, and he quit on me. He didn't return my calls, so I assumed he was ignoring me or maybe on an unplanned vacation. I had no idea it meant he was... dead.
Drayfun: You and Bachmann were working on a "Device", yes?
Flickerbee: Yeah, we were. The idea was to create a magic AI, but we ran up on a dead end. After he quit I basically gave up working on it.
Drayfun: Can we see the Device?
Flickerbee: It's, uh... back in the lab. Sorry.
Drayfun: Is it true you proposed using a human brain to power the Device?
Flickerbee: It was an idea borne of desperation. I don't even know where to buy a brain.
Drayfun: You are our prime suspect in this investigation due to your connection to Bachmann and the circumstances of his death. I need you to be honest with me.
Flickerbee: I promise you, I didn't kill him. And I definitely didn't steal his brain.
Drayfun: How did you know his brain was stolen?
Flickerbee: Uh... magic?
Drayfun: Oh, understandable. Have a nice day, Mr Flickerbee.
Flickerbee: Oh thank god. I mean, thank you, Paladin. Good luck tracking down Lightbringer- I mean the killer.
Drayfun: Huh?
Flickerbee: Uhh... I sneezed really weirdly.
Drayfun: I see. I recommend seeing a doctor about that.
Flickerbee: Will do.
[Interview ends]
Post-interview notes: While many believe there was a hidden meaning in Flickerbee's sneeze, no one in the PANTS department has managed to decode it yet.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It's a lot easier to solve a murder mystery from the other side of the fourth wall...
I promise, Majykka Supremus is very competent, except for Junior Paladin Drayfun, who is extremely gullible, has an undetected magical aura that makes everyone around him unable to see his incompetence, and might be my new favorite character.
Yes, longtime 3WSR fans, Edward Bachmann is who you think he is.
Type Of Case: Murder, Supernatural
Identity Of Victim: Edward Bachmann, 38 years old, Caucasian Male
Statement of Chief Investigator:
"I received a call from Naralle Myskotovia, the proprietor of the Magic Underground's Coldview Apartments, on June 15, 2015, regarding her tenant Edward Bachmann, who had not been seen by her or any other occupants in months. Myself and Paladin Icarus Shid entered his apartment to discover it had been completely abandoned for weeks, based on the level of dust collected. A thorough search of the apartment revealed no recent magic signatures, only a large model railroad in a spare room and a lengthy journal in a desk drawer, both of which were collected as evidence. When a specific locomotive was removed from the model railroad, a portal to a small pocket dimension created by the victim was activated. The pocket dimension was a ten-foot cube decorated as a small lab, with several half-disassembled pieces of magitek devices found and collected as evidence. The body of Mr. Bachmann was found buried under a pile of spare parts. His skull had been cleanly sliced open by an unidentified spell, and his brain had been cleanly removed from his skull. Professor Camin My was unable to find any DNA or magical samples from any individuals other than the victim. As of now, no suspects have been identified and the murder is unsolved. The brain has not been located."
Excerpts from Victim's Journal:
January 14: I hate Kendarboo's new friend, "Lightbringer". He's such a whiny creep, always either complaining or rambling about his weird cult. I don't care about the "Horned One", weirdo. Almost as nutty as those Teatro-Toicho types. Kendarboo seems to think he's going to be useful for our project though, so I guess I'll put up with him for now. We attached a screen to the Device today. In theory, if we ever actually get it working, the Device can communicate with us through lights and images on the screen. Teaching it language will be a monumental task, but pictograms are doable.
January 19: Just found out my old college boyfriend, James Hornby, is working with the Bloodied Blade now. Good for him. I'm not jealous at all. Oh, who am I kidding! I'm turning 38 tomorrow and I still haven't managed to make magic AI. Kendarboo and I have been working on this project for ten years now, and all we have to show for it is a bunch of broken copper pieces and a restraining order from the Helado Gang. The Device is our last hope.
January 23: Lightbringer, you wonderful man! I can't believe it. He found us a power source. It's unlike anything I've ever seen. It looks like a small crystal, with colors swirling around in it like little drops of paint, and it produces an incredible amount of magic resonance. Only Presuisoltian technology even comes close to this. It's perfect, but we need a way to get it to interface with the Device.
January 29: First test of the Device with the new power source. It was surprisingly promising- we got an actual signal for about three seconds before it blew a fuse. Kendarboo and I are going to have a late night fixing it, and hopefully tomorrow we'll have our first conversation with a true magical AI.
January 30: We souped up the Device to handle the massive power output of the crystal shard thing. The results are--- interesting. The screen came on, but instead of anything meaningful, all it showed was a thin green line. It seemed to move around a bit as we carried the Device around the room, and was always pointing northwest for some reason. The Device is trying to tell us something, but we have no idea what.
February 3: Kendarboo called me at 2 AM last night with amazing news- he's figured out what the green line means. It points to the strongest magic source in the area besides itself. It was pointing at the weird autopsy device Kendarboo bought way back when, and when he took it outside, it started pointing at lampposts, buildings, generators- whatever the strongest magic source around was. The Device is actually trying to communicate with us! Either that, or we've just invented the most expensive magic power detector ever.
February 11: There's a problem. Kendarboo has inspected the entire Device back to front five times, and figured out that it is still not operating as intended. Even with the insane amount of power the shard gives us, it's not enough for the Device to truly be an AI. Apparently we're going to need another shard to get the Device working. If such a thing even exists. I guess we could use the Device to find more shards, but I don't wanna risk taking it too far from the lab.
February 17: I am fed up with Kendarboo. He called me into the lab at unacceptable o-clock, telling me he figured out a way to get the Device working without finding a second shard. I was excited, but the solution he came up with? We stick a HUMAN BRAIN into the device. Apparently it will merge with the shard somehow, and replicate the neural network, to make it much easier to create an artificial intelligence. He even drew up some blueprints to explain the concept. What kind of maniac is he? Using a human brain? That's some necromancy nonsense, and I don't mess with the dark arts like that. We got into a big fight and I basically said if he wants my help anymore he can cut my brain out of my head, because I'm out.
February 23: I'm such an idiot! Kendarboo was just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I should call him and apologize. Then again, maybe he should call me. "Let's use a human brain". Great idea, idiot.
March 8: Another day of doing nothing but play with trains. I modified the entrance to my study, now lifting the 4-4-0 off the repair siding opens the portal. That took three days of casting. Meanwhile, James Hornby is getting engaged. Lah-de-dah. "I'm James Hornby, I'm so cool and successful, I don't even stalk my ex on Magebook." What a nerd.
March 17: I swear I saw that Lightbringer guy lurking outside earlier. Is Kendarboo so scared to apologize that he's sending his creepy friend to do it for him? What a sad gesture.
March 23: I've been looking at these blueprints Kendarboo made, and they're terrible. Kendarboo knows what he's doing most of the time, but anyone who knows anything about magitek knows that this won't work. Based on the blueprints, what he's designed would convert the device into a magic scanner with massive range that scans specifically for more of those shard things. The human brain would just have its personality copied into the Device like some kinda messed up soul jar. I guess if you want to become an immortal scanner it's pretty cool, but it doesn't count as an AI. If I didn't know better, I'd say Kendarboo just wants to build a machine that scans for those shards for some reason. Why it has to be sentient, I don't know. Sounds like something those Horned One worshippers would be into. Just force some random dude into a cursed immortality where they have to search for shards and tell the owner of the Device how to find them. Big yikes. Granted, I think the device could be modified to give the brain inside more autonomy, but still... what a weird concept.
March 25: Saw Lightbringer outside again, carrying around that autopsy device. Probably taking it to the dump for Kendarboo. Good riddance. Kendarboo's a nutcase.
[No further entries were written. As the journal was updated inconsistently, we have no way of knowing how long after the March 25 entry Bachmann died.]
Interview with Kendarboo Flickerbee, Co-Worker of the Deceased
Interviewer: Pisarmic Drayfun, Junior Paladin
Drayfun: Thank you for meeting with us, Mister Flickerbee.
Flickerbee: Of course! Ed was a friend of mine, I was distraught to hear he passed.
Drayfun: How long have you and Mister Bachmann known each other?
Flickerbee: I hired him in... 2005, I think? Maybe 2006. He was interested in magitek and AI specifically, and he knew stuff about computers that I couldn't grasp, so he was perfect for the job. Plus, we have a shared interest in model railroading. We got on splendidly.
Drayfun: I understand you and Bachmann had a falling out?
Flickerbee: Sadly, yeah, we were working on a project and disagreed on how to progress, harsh words were exchanged, and he quit on me. He didn't return my calls, so I assumed he was ignoring me or maybe on an unplanned vacation. I had no idea it meant he was... dead.
Drayfun: You and Bachmann were working on a "Device", yes?
Flickerbee: Yeah, we were. The idea was to create a magic AI, but we ran up on a dead end. After he quit I basically gave up working on it.
Drayfun: Can we see the Device?
Flickerbee: It's, uh... back in the lab. Sorry.
Drayfun: Is it true you proposed using a human brain to power the Device?
Flickerbee: It was an idea borne of desperation. I don't even know where to buy a brain.
Drayfun: You are our prime suspect in this investigation due to your connection to Bachmann and the circumstances of his death. I need you to be honest with me.
Flickerbee: I promise you, I didn't kill him. And I definitely didn't steal his brain.
Drayfun: How did you know his brain was stolen?
Flickerbee: Uh... magic?
Drayfun: Oh, understandable. Have a nice day, Mr Flickerbee.
Flickerbee: Oh thank god. I mean, thank you, Paladin. Good luck tracking down Lightbringer- I mean the killer.
Drayfun: Huh?
Flickerbee: Uhh... I sneezed really weirdly.
Drayfun: I see. I recommend seeing a doctor about that.
Flickerbee: Will do.
[Interview ends]
Post-interview notes: While many believe there was a hidden meaning in Flickerbee's sneeze, no one in the PANTS department has managed to decode it yet.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It's a lot easier to solve a murder mystery from the other side of the fourth wall...
I promise, Majykka Supremus is very competent, except for Junior Paladin Drayfun, who is extremely gullible, has an undetected magical aura that makes everyone around him unable to see his incompetence, and might be my new favorite character.
Yes, longtime 3WSR fans, Edward Bachmann is who you think he is.