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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 12, 2020 18:08:56 GMT -5
"The Epic of Heph and his Adventuring Crew" is an old legend from the Island of Ordos, back when in the days when the island was called Magykka. Considered to Modern Ordosians as their equivalent to Homer's Iliad and Odyssey from Ancient Greece, or Beowulf from the Anglo-Saxons. For centuries, it only existed as a written text in Old Magykkan, a precursor language to Ordosian. It was not until 1140, when the Colormen of Ordos, specifically the then-current Man In Gold, translated the into Ordosian, Old English, Greek and Latin, as a favor to the King of Ordos. Thanks' to Ordos' status as a major hub of the magic world in its Golden Age, the text eventually made its way to the mainland and beyond, becoming a popular tale among mages.
Eventually, the text was translated into modern English, and it is this version of the story that you are reading now.
.........
TRANSLATION NOTES:
The name "KNUCKLEHEADS" is a translation from Old Magykkan, into Ordosian and into English. While "Knight" is an anachronistic term in this context, it must be noted that in the original text, the word that was used has no true English equivalent, but it refers to "a noble warrior of honor and integrity," as such, a word was used that is considered the closest equivalent. "Kombat" is also spelled with a K due to this particular word being difficult to translate; this spelling is a reflection of what is considered the closest approximation to the original word.
Pokyrah's job didn't truly have a title attached to it, and based on descriptions in related texts on Ordosian life Pre-Eruditus, he is being called a "minister" since that is the word that comes closest to describing his job.
Nobody is sure what "the great Wazalka" is, as no text outside of this epic makes reference to it, and it was only briefly mentioned in the beginning of the story.
Elmo is an ancient Magykan name which means "Bringer of death"
..........
Once upon a time, in the land of Cordann on the island of Magykka, a young boy named Heph was hard at work. He was an apprentice blacksmith, and was already showing great skill. Then one day, he hammered the town minister on the hand. The minister was furious. "why would you do that?!" he shouted with rage.
Heph raised his hammer and looked at the minister with daggers in his eyes, "Because I know what you really do with the money collected by the good people of Cordann, and you are going to pay!" The minister was terrified... He had been busted! So he did the only thing he could think of- pulling out his scroll, he opened it and chanted aloud, summoning demons to help him get out of his jam.
As Heph fled in terror, he screamed "Minister Pokyrah is attacking me!" to warn his fellow residents of Cordann, who soon rallied together and in no time, the townsfolk were chasing Pokyrah down. He hid in his manor on the banks of the River Eb and summoned more demons to buy him time before he was caught.
Terrified of what may happen to him, Heph proceeded to escape the only way he knew how, by summoning the Great Wazalka! He climbed on the Wazalka's back, and the two flew to the safety of the southern forest. However, once they were in the forest Heph realized he had not thought it through. He was now stranded in the forest with a hungry Wazalka, and he had no food for himself. All he had was the hammer he had attacked Pokyrah with, but it was strictly industrial and no good against a Wazalka. So he ran... and ran... and ran... Until fell fell from a cliff and landed in... His bed!! "Oh, what a nightmare." He said as he woke up and went to make breakfast. He could already smell the bread in his mind as he went to fetch the flour. While outside, Heph ran into Pokyrah, who was on his way to visit an old friend. In reality, Pokyrah was a nice man, if somewhat superstitious. When Heph told him about the dream, Pokyrah gasped. "That dream is a bad omen. It means that an evil force will be coming forth soon." He said ominously.
"How will we know when the force is coming?"Heph asked nervously.
"There are twenty five signs that will signal the arrival of the evil" Pokyrah said with a grim look.
Bewildered, Heph asked "what are they?" Pokyrah cleared his throat
1. "First, all pottery all over town shall be damaged, yet no stones will be cast upon them"
2." Next, the call of the raven shall be heard, yet no birds will be in town"
3. "A fireplace will light, without anyone using flint or tinder"
4. "The river will freeze solid, yet the weather shall be warm and the sun in the sky without clouds"
5. "deer will fly"
6. the eldest son of the seventh son will have his skin turn green
7. The seventh son of the eldest son will have his skin turn blue
8. A creature shall be born that will walk on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and three legs at night
9. A cow shall jump over the moon
10. Jupiter shall take his vengeance upon the vulgar man
11. Justice shall be swift towards the one who offends the serpents of the sky
12. A mysterious stranger will enter town, asking only for rest and water
13. He will leave the next day
14. Locusts will ravage our crops for 3 days, yet when they are done, more crops will sprout
15. A horseman will ride through town, holding a torch whose light will guide the way for his master to follow
16. The sky itself will catch fire for 30 seconds... Yet no harm will befall anyone, even the birds
17. water will burn
18. all men in town will sleepwalk
19. a mysterious growling will be heard through town, yet no source found
20. a leader will fall
21. another will rise
22. The mob shall go blind with rage and do battle with the trees
23. The sky shall open upon the island, and from this gateway a gift shall descend towards its chosen owner
24. a riddle will appear in the river
25. 500 hours of darkness will cover the land
"500 hours?!" Heph exclaimed in shock
"Well actually it's 473 hours, but we say 500 to make it sound more dramatic" Pokyrah admitted.
"Who is this "we" you speak of?" Heph asked
"Not important" Pokyrah replied bluntly.
The bluntness of the reply took Heph off-guard and made him suspicious of Pokyrah's warning, "there is no way that is true" he muttered, "flying deer, the sky on fire, sky serpents, burning water, sleepwalking and river riddles... what the heck?" he thought to himself.
"I'll explain everything over breakfast; give me some time to get some things together and all will become clear" Pokyrah explained.
Later, Heph was finally sitting down and enjoying his bread when he looked upon his vase in the corner, and saw that it was beginning to tremble.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 15, 2020 23:24:34 GMT -5
The vase fell to the ground and shattered, as a loud voice boomed. "Let the extremely convoluted ritual commence! I am the dark lord ELMO, and I declare that the beginning of the rise of evil is upon us!"
"Oh gods! Elmo! I thought that name had been lost to history." Pokyrah sighed. "We must flee this town at once. Elmo will no doubt be sending his Coordinated, United, Terrifying, Ingenious Evildoers Supreme."
"His... CUTIES!" Heph asked.
"I... have experience with the CUTIES. Nothing strikes fear into the hearts and minds of good folk everywhere like a group of CUTIES. You must go."
"I need to get my stuff from the smithy first!" Heph yelled, running out the door.
At the smithy, Heph's close friend Nikko was hard at work making some horseshoes.
"Oh hey, Heph! What's cooking!"
"Long story! There's a prophecy, and I have to run away, because I'm a chosen one?"
"Wait, there's a prophecy about you?" Nikko was so surprised that he dropped the hot horseshoe onto his feet and let out a scream that sounded exactly like a raven.
"I just heard a raven! The second sign is upon us!" Pokyrah yelled, running in with a wooden staff in hand and a mace in his belt. "Who is this?"
"My name is Nikko, Minister." Nikko declared. "And I'm coming with my friend, if you don't mind."
"Absolutely not. We don't need some Sam Gamgee character taking over Heph's story." Pokyrah snapped. Nikko didn't get the reference because The Lord Of The Rings was still a couple thousand years away from being written.
"I don't care. I'm coming, and that's final." Nikko said. Really, he mostly was concerned with getting girls in the tavern using his association with the chosen one, but it's only the beginning of his character arc, so let's give him a break.
"Fine, whatever... I have an ally that will be able to protect us from the CUTIES." Pokyrah said, holding the staff.
"Aww, CUTIES? Do we have to avoid them?" Nikko whined.
Pokyrah broke the staff over his knee and a red feather appeared. It drifted into the fireplace, lighting it. After a few seconds, a large, majestic bird emerged from the fireplace.
"Behold, mortals! It is I, Twitter, the majestic and flawless Phoenix."
"No, no!" Pokyrah cursed. "You can't be named Twitter! This isn't 2016, we have to be more serious than that."
"I'm sorry, I'm simply too perfect to acknowledge your fourth wall breaks." Twitter preened. "Now then, summoning me fulfilled the third sign, but this town is surrounded by a river, and it's a sunny day, so unless someone with powerful ice magic is in town, we should be fine."
Suddenly, the group heard a loud sound from outside. Heph, Nikko, Pokyrah, and Twitter ran out to the riverbank, only to see that the river was frozen solid. At the far end of the river were two robed figures.
"I am Ivan the Irredeemable! I have just used my ice powers to freeze your river! And soon, my colleague Arik the Antagonistic will use his wind magics to destroy your pathetic town! For we are the ones who bring nightmares to babies... the ones the elves fear and the dwarves hide from... the CUTIES! I am a CUTIE, he is a CUTIE, we are all CUTIES! Tremble, non-CUTIES! For your doom is at hand!"
"I've... encountered these two before." Pokyrah whispered. "They are as evil as they are ridiculous. Neither of you stand a chance in combat against them... we need a plan."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 16, 2020 18:48:37 GMT -5
The three huddled together as they tried to determine an idea. Then, Nikko had one, and proceeded to explain it to Pokyrah and Heph.
......
All over town, the ice mage and air mage were wreaking havoc, sending people and animals running as the ice mage froze stuff solid and the air mage blew stuff away.
"I'm giving YOU the cold shoulder, and its clear that what you need are some cold feet!" Ivan shouted as he fired ice blasts at a couple innocents.
"What's the matter? Feeling light headed?" Arik said as he blew a couple other innocents away. Just then, a towering figure began advancing towards the pair. Innocents running away from the pair of mages now found themselves running away from the beast that had just appeared as well. And yet, the creature was advancing towards the mages.
The two turned around and were confused at first. It was a 14 foot tall humanoid figure, yet it was bald, with gray skin, oversized teeth, was some sort of weird cross between muscular and chubby, and wielding a giant club in one hand. The two mages looked a little nervous, but weren't scared yet.
"An ogre? Here? Now?" Ivan said, trembling a little.
"Relax, its all rage and no skill; there's a reason they primarily go after children as food after all" Arik reminded him.
Then, the ogre let out an angry roar, and to their surprise... suddenly started breathing fire! The two mages' faces suddenly fell, and they screamed in pure terror. "GAHH!!! FIRE BREATHING OGRE!!" Arik and Ivan screamed together as they started running away, as the still screaming Ogre started chasing them, keeping pace with them, neither losing or gaining ground.
The Ogre was very convincing and did look like a real ogre, but if one were to get a close look at the exterior, one would notice seems and stitching on the skin, as if cloth or canvas had been sewn together. Beneath this covering of the sturdy but flexible material, was a frame of some sort of bizarre skeleton composed of iron and wood, which could be manipulated and controlled by people within. And indeed, within this frame at the moment, was Heph who was primarily manipulating the left leg, Nikko who was manipulating the right leg, Pokyrah who was within the torso/stomach and manipulating the arms, and thus also responsible for attacking with the club. And crammed in the head was Twitter, looking out through the "eyes" and responsible for the fire breathing thanks to his powers, as an added bonus.
"Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right!" Pokyrah called out, keeping Heph and Nikko on some sort of rhythm while looking out through a small slit in the chest area. In addition, Heph and Nikko were able to look out of viewing holes of sorts that were kind of at the level of the belly button on the waist.
"Nikko, when did you have time to build this?" Heph asked in confusion.
"I don't tell you what to do with your free time!" Nikko snapped.
"Ok, fair enough. But WHY did you build this thing?" Pokyrah followed up with.
"For the Festival of Parnasius, duh!" Nikko explained.
"Oh, of course!" Pokyrah and Heph said in realization, as if they had just realized something so obvious.
Eventually, the "three" made it to a clearing, when Ivan and Arik suddenly stopped running. "Enough! We are going to end this right here and now!" Ivan said angrily, as the ice mage prepared a spell to cast against the ogre. Ivan launched an ice beam at the ogre, and the ogre unleashed its fire breath. The two blasts made contact, and while even at first, eventually the fire began to overpower the ice and head straight for the mage.
"Darn it! Why does ice have to have an inherent weakness against fire?!" He declared before the blast hit him and, because magic fire works somewhat differently from real fire, he took some damage from the heat before being flung back against the trees. Then Arik took the lead and proceeded to launch air blasts at the ogre. But the ogre had closed the distance and was now within striking range, forcing Arik to keep moving, and was unable to get a spell in properly because he was now constantly on the move. The Ogre was getting off the occasional fire blast, but Arik was quick to dodge and just barely avoided the flames. Then Arik got angry and intentionally started moving away from the Ogre.
"Now you've made me ANGRY! VERY, VERY ANGRY!" Arik thundered. His eyes began to glow as he held up his hands and began chanting a spell, as a magic circle began forming underneath him.
"As a great air mage, I summon the power of the tornado!" He boomed as he began chanting, "Roga malkek gwengul fika tuma..."
"No! NO! If he finishes that spell we'll be done for!" Pokyrah said from inside in terror. The foursome tried to charge at Arik, but the wind was starting to pick up, making their trojan Ogre very hard to control.
"Yunka turba wagma... AHCHOO!!" Arik said, suddenly unleashing a powerful sneeze. Then, the magic circle began rapidly spinning as Arik realized he screwed up. "NO! I wasn't done! You've gotta let me... gah!!" He said, as his own winds began blowing him away, and from the tree line Ivan was also picked up and blown away by the wind. Branches and other debris began blowing around Heph and crew, as they hunkered down so the ogre wouldn't be blown away. As the looked at what had happened, suddenly the crew observed a bunch of small animals flying by, mostly badgers and other small animals, until about half a dozen deer also flew by them.
"Flying deer! The fifth sign is fulfilled!" Pokyrah declared in terror.
"Well, on the bright side, no one in town has seven sons, with the seventh son having an elder son, so no chance of that green skin thing being fulfilled" Heph pointed out.
A small sigh of relief, but first they had to deal with the matter at hand. After several minutes the wind had settled. Heph and crew turned around, and saw Ivan and Arik approach them, but they were rather off balance, as if they were drunk. Heph and co had not seen that the pair had been violently tossed about by the winds this whole time, and essentially had developed what would become known as motion sickness in the coming centuries.
"This... isn't... over... yet..." a very, VERY dizzy Arik managed to get out before he fell to the ground, utterly disoriented.
"I'm... not... finished..." Ivan said, using his staff as a sort of crutch or walking stick to stay up. But he lost his composure and began vomiting like crazy.
Looking at the disoriented Arik and Ivan, Heph looked towards his companions within the ogre, "uh... did we win?" He asked optimistically.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 16, 2020 19:32:46 GMT -5
"Look how sickly that guy looks!" Nikko said. "He's turning green!" He laughed as he pointed at the vomiting ice mage.
"I'll get you for that!" Ivan managed to choke out. He pulled himself to his hands and knees, but he was still disoriented, and the ice blast missed Nikko entirely and hit Arik, who was instantly encased in a cube of ice up to his neck.
"Cousin! Aim better, you fool!" Arik yelled as his skin began to turn blue from the cold.
Pokyrah was beginning to realize the implications of what had just happened. "You are cousins... by any chance did your grandfather have at least seven sons?
"Nine, actually, not that it's any of your- BLAAGH!" Ivan collapsed again.
"These two CUTIES are the people in sign six and seven! We've been foiled again!"
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 16, 2020 20:18:34 GMT -5
"Damn it! We gotta get out of here before that creature thing is born!" Heph said frantically.
"Wait... how is an ogre capable of speaking with human language? And... more than one voice?" Ivan asked in confusion.
The foursome began sweating profusely, wondering if they had been busted, until...
"Nevermind that Ivan! Just get me out of here and keep your mouth shut about it!" Arik said, "if my four older brothers hear about this, they'll never let me hear the end of it" He said.
"Wait, FOUR older brothers?! But then... fifth son... there's hope!" Nikko said in relief.
"We can't chance it! Let's get out of here!" Heph said as the group began running away. An hour later, they came to a cave where they decided to rest, and not a moment too soon.
"Ok guys, lets get out of this ogre suit, Twitter laid an egg" Pokyrah explained.
"Come on Pokyrah, Twitter did good in the battle" Nikko pointed out.
"No, I mean he laid an egg... and now its all over me" Pokyrah muttered, a half broken egg sitting on top of his head.
They got out of the suit, and as Pokyrah cleaned himself, Nikko breathed a sigh of relief "well, at least all of us are male; there's no way any of us could birth a creature that walks on four legs in the morning, 2 legs in the afternoon and there legs at night."
"Yes, that's true." Pokyrah said. "But what could this creature be?" Twitter asked.
Heph thought about it, and declared "I know! It's a tiger-gorilla hybrid with an extendable third leg!" The others just stared at him.
"Think about it; in tiger mode it's four legged, but in gorilla mode it's two legged. Then while in gorilla mode, it can bring out its extendable third leg."
The others stared at him; "THAT IS THE MOST ABSURD THING WE HAVE EVER HEARD!!!" All three angrily screamed together
"Do YOU have any ideas?" Heph replied. So they began to think.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 16, 2020 22:15:02 GMT -5
Suddenly, they were interrupted by a loud scream from the valley below.
"Someone's in trouble!" Nikko gasped.
The trio ran down the hill to a small farmstead. Inside the farmhouse, a woman by the name of Susanna Titanica was giving birth.
"Help!" The farmhand said. "She's going into labor!"
Pokyrah sprung into action. He had delivered many babies as part of his ministerial duties.
Heph, Nikko, and Twitter decided to wait outside. As they did, Heph glanced at a strange animal in the pen outside the farm.
"What is that thing?"
"That, silly human, is a cow. They are rare in this part of the world, but in a few thousand years time they will be everywhere." Twitter said, sighing at the ignorance of these pathetic bipeds.
"That's in the poem too! A cow jumps over the moon!" Heph exclaimed.
Nikko scoffed. "Yeah, but as long as we leave here before the creature with weird legs is born, we'll be fine." Nikko said.
Heph decided to peek into the farmhouse to check on Pokyrah. As he watched, he heard...
"It's a boy!"
"What are you going to name him, Susanna!"
Susanna smiled and looked at her son. "I will name him... Vladimir."
Due to time travel shenanigans and ancient prophecies, this baby would go on to be one of the greatest enemies our heroes would have to contend with. For now though, all that really matters is that Pokyrah suddenly remembered a certain greek legend about a man named Oedipus and a sphinx with a riddle... and realized the eighth sign had come to pass.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 16, 2020 22:55:48 GMT -5
Pokyrah came outside and explained the situation to the others, but Heph was dismissive to say the least,
"Guys I think we can relax at this point, we clearly heard that the one guy was the 5th son, not the 7th son, so that blue skin thing hasn't happened yet... technically. Also, thousands of babies are born everyday, so don't you think stumbling upon a birth is a rather vague fulfillment? Surely the prophecy must refer to the birth of a specific baby" Heph pointed out.
"I mean, yes, but what if the mage was lying?" Pokyrah pointed out.
"Why would he lie about his number of brothers?" Heph pointed out.
"Regardless, we mustn't take any chances. Heph, since this prophecy seems centered around you specifically, and you must witness the signs for them to pass, a simple blindfolding should be all that is needed to stop it in its tracks" Pokyrah concluded as he pulled out a cloth.
"Excellent job on stating the simple solution, Pokyrah! Since we don't have willful ignorance towards common sense, this simple fix shows that we are rational people approaching the problem logically and NOT using a deus ex machina to hand wave the problem away" Heph said in a complimentary tone.
"I... don't know why you worded that sentence like that, but I can't disagree with what you said" Pokyrah admitted as he tied the blindfold.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 16, 2020 23:08:25 GMT -5
Suddenly, a powerful gust of wind blew the blindfold off of Heph's face. Heph watched in amazement as the cow in the pen flapped its newly sprouted wings, blowing the blindfold right off his face. The cow folded its wings back in, and leapt into the night air, clearing the moon in a single bound.
"Well, I guess we can safely conclude that guy has two dead older brothers." Twitter said non-chalantly.
"No we can't! That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen! That's clearly not a normal cow! That shouldn't count as the ninth sign! I will not stand for this! I'm boycotting this narrative until we can have some logical progression." Pokyrah folded his arms and stormed away.
"Wait, Pokyrah! What about our quest?"
"Bah, go to the elf town of Phyphyxylstyx and find some guides or something. I'm the mentor character, I'm gonna die anyway if I keep travelling with you, either of normal "classical hero avenging his mentor" causes or from a brain aneyurism from this stupid prophecy!"
Heph and Nikko watched in resignation as Pokyrah disappeared over the hill.
"He'll be back, right?" Nikko said.
"He better be, he's the only one of you shaven monkeys I can tolerate for more than a few microseconds." Twitter sighed.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 16, 2020 23:23:17 GMT -5
Pokyrah grumbled as he kept walking down the road. "Stupid winged cow thing... cows aren't even on Magykka at this time in our history! Wouldn't be surprised if it took centuries for them to become a normal part of the island" Pokyrah grumbled as he continued on. "I mean, what was the next sign? Jupiter taking vengeance upon the vulgar man? I mean how vague could that possibly be? What does that even mean? Well Jupiter, or Zeus, was a God of lightning as I recall, so a vulgar, perhaps rude, man being struck by lightning would make sense, and..." just then, Pokyrah looked towards the sky to see the dark clouds of a thunderstorm, seemingly heading for him. Pokyrah thought it over, and suddenly went pale, "No... NO! NO! NO! I'm not vulgar I swear!" He shouted, as he frantically began making his way back to Heph and co. "Heph! Nikko! Please wait! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be so vulgar! I'm NOT A VULGAR MAN! I can get pretty emotional and I can freak out, but I am NOT VULGAR, so please I beg for your forgiveness! Please! Don't think of me as Vulgar!" Pokyrah said frantically as he ran back as fast as he could before continuing with, "And I have no idea why I said all of that out loud while nobody is around! Why am I speaking in a monologue like this?!" He said in confusion
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 16, 2020 23:29:47 GMT -5
Pokyrah soon found himself reunited with the group.
"Lightning strikes the vulgar man... Heph, try the blindfold again, and hide in that cave by yourself so you can't see anyone vulgar." He ordered.
"I told you he'd be back!" Nikko bragged.
None of them noticed a commotion at the farmhouse below. A time machine had materialized and three time travellers had snatched up the baby.
"Alright, Vladimir Titanica." One of them said as they headed towards the time machine, apparently unaware of self-fullfilling time loops in fiction. "Let's see if we can't prevent you from turning into a dangerous monster..."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 16, 2020 23:54:55 GMT -5
"I think the solution is perfectly clear" one of the travelers suggested. "Lets drop him off in a safe part of the time stream in a positive environment where he cannot possibly bring harm to anyone. Any solutions?" Agent 7413 suggested.
"How about the Victorian era? The slums would be perfect for him, he'll just become one of thousands of nobodies" Agent 5535 suggested.
"No, too risky, may become a revolutionary. Next?" 7413 asked.
"Oh, I know! Stone age, before any technology existed. Trap him in a part of the time stream where he can't possibly cause any damage." Agent 4277 proposed.
"Eh, can't risk that either. His genetics could wreck havoc on the gene pool" 7413 pointed out.
"How about taking him to a church in the middle ages? Raise him to be a simple monk and have him live out his life" 5535 proposed.
"Nah, a religious zealot is just as dangerous." 7413 pointed out.
"I got it! Pax Romana- peaceful time in history, very unadvanced technology, we drop him off as the adopted son of some well-to-do farmers, and he has a happy life, in an uninfluential position as a lower class citizen... he'll just be a blip in history and never leave his mark." 4277 stated
"Perfect. Performing coordinate calculation and search to establish zone of least effect" 7413 said as he entered the parameters into a computer.
.........
Heph and Co were in the cave when Pokyrah looked around before going back to the gang. "coast is clear if you want to take the blindfold off" he said.
"Nah, I'll keep it like this for now. So do you think it really is a simple lightning strike? Surely it must be more, well with Jupiter and all" Heph asked.
"Don't be ridiculous! Jupiter doesn't even exist" Nikko pointed out.
"Are you... sure?" Pokyrah asked in disbelief.
"Absolutely, how can he? After all, the god of thunder is a hammer wielding warrior named Thor! I should know, he comes to me now and then in my dreams!" He exclaimed
Everyone looked at him in utter disbelief.
.........
Meanwhile in the forest, a lightning mage was on the prowl. "you may have stopped that pair of CUTIES... but let's see if you can handles THIS CUTIE one on one!" He declared out loud.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 19, 2020 22:44:04 GMT -5
Not far from our heroes, in the forest of the elves, two friends were on a hike. The taller one, Eduardo, was going on and on about a plan for an elaborate tree-house. The shorter one, Kokar, was pretending to listen while thinking about butterflies.
Suddenly, they spotted the lightning mage.
"Is that... a CUTIE?" Kokar asked.
"Impossible!" Eduardo said. "The cuties were wiped out decades ago! Unless... could that be Liasstria the Ludicrous?"
"I thought Liasstria was a woman." Kokar said, confused.
"We'll worry about that later. Let's see what that lightning mage is up to."
So the two elves climbed a tree and began following stealthily from the branches above.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 20, 2020 0:37:53 GMT -5
The lightning mage kept checking over his shoulder to ensure he wasn’t being followed, and once certain that no one was present, rubbed an amulet around his neck. The whole body glowed in a brilliant white light and when it subsided... there was indeed a woman, the one called Liasstria the Ludicrous
“Ugh, this is so degrading; having to wear a disguise just to go anywhere after ONE lightning spell went wrong... and I burned a couple villages down” she muttered to herself as she continued on with her journey towards her targets.
“What? A disguise Amulet? But those are almost impossible to come by!” Eduardo said in disbelief
“And one of such quality... this can only mean one thing” Kokar observed
“Indeed... without any doubt, *he* is involved; we have to warn you-know-who” Eduardo stated grimly
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 20, 2020 23:02:08 GMT -5
"Wait... who is "he"? And who is "you-know-who"? We've talked about this whole "being vague" thing." Kokar said.
Eduardo sighed. "We have to go warn the elf king about Elmo, obviously."
"And just let that CUTIE get away?"
"It's not like there's any innocent passers-by that will be hurt by her..."
Not far away, Heph and co. were innocently passing by.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Sept 8, 2020 23:01:12 GMT -5
Indeed, the adventuring crew were just walking down the road, minding their own business, and at first passed the woman with little issue. But then, the crew found themselves in for a nasty surprise when... a pair of lightning bolts flew past them and struck some nearby rocks! Heph turned around to see a woman, discharging lightning and yet...
“Hey! What are you attacking us... and what is with your hair?” Heph followed up with, confused.
“My master ordered me to and... wait, what?” She asked, confused, then she felt her hair... it was all frizzled and standing up on end. “Damn it! Why does this happen every time I use my powers?! No matter, I happen to know that you are the one I seek, and now my glory shall be had!” And Liasstria sent lightning at Heph, but just narrowly missed.
“Thunderbolt and lightning! Very, very frightening!” Nikko said in shock.
“Galileo! Galileo! Figaro! Magnificooo” Heph shouted as he seemed to use some sort of hand gestures, causing the others to look at him in confusion.
“What? I’m using magic; isn’t it just using magic sounding words and hand gestures?” Heph asked, confused
“I... think it’s more than that” Pokyrah observes, as more lightning flew in their direction.
”Please, stop!” Nikko pleaded to the mage. “I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me!” He said, begging for mercy while lamenting his life thus far.
”and what do I care?” Liasstria said, unmoved.
“He’s just a poor boy from a poor family, spare him his life from this monstrosity!” Pokyrah added, trying to save Nikko in his own way.
”But I ran into by chance, I cannot let you get away!” Liasstria pointed out
”well...Easy come, easy go” Nikko shrugged
”Um... will you let me go?” Heph asked
“Bismillah!*. No! I will not let you go!” The lightning mage declared
“Let me go!” Heph pleaded
“I will not let you go!” The lightning mage shot back
“Let me go!” Pokyrah said
“I will not let you go!” The now annoyed lightening mage replied
“No! No! No! No! No! No! No!” Heph said in fear, realizing she wasn’t going to let them get away
“Oh mama mia! Let me go, beelzebub!” Nikko declared in exasperation, now convinced they were fighting an actual demon, as the lightning bolts continued to fly at them
*Old Magykkan interjection meaning “are you crazy?!”
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