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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Aug 16, 2017 23:05:23 GMT -5
"Lord Vlad, sir!" called a WE subordinate.
"What is it, Radar?" the overlord asked.
"Something like the 'Guile of Meth' is calling in again."
"GOM? Huh."
"They've already contacted us before. I told them to go to hell, should I do it again?"
"Yeah, just keep doing it until they f*ck off."
"Right. LISTEN YOU MAGGOTS, I TOLD YOU TO GO TO HELL!!"
"Damn it," said Fark on the other end.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 17, 2017 5:21:10 GMT -5
Wait, how does Colorfolk magic not work in space? We did say before that Colormen have traveled all over the world and still have their powers, so what is different?
......
But since the war ensemble is of no interest, back to space
......
Man in Blue was waiting for that plot convenient reason for the colorfolk to have powers in space, when...
"There is a finite amount of Prism magic within our artifacts; we can harness that to compensate from being so far from the Prism or... wait, what's the reasoning again?" Man in blue asked.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 17, 2017 9:46:27 GMT -5
"Since we're extremely far away from the prism and magic only travels at lightspeed, we can't access the prism to use our magic." Woman In White clarified.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 17, 2017 10:56:10 GMT -5
"Wait, aren't we currently orbiting earth?" Man in Blue asked; waiting for clarification from the writer
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 17, 2017 11:14:23 GMT -5
"No, we're far away from earth. And even if we were, there'd still be like a two second delay on your powers."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 17, 2017 12:27:24 GMT -5
Well in that case, it looks like we are stuck with whatever reserve of magic is within our artifacts" Man in Blue said as he prepared his blade.
"But how much do we have?" Woman in White asked.
"Eh, probably enough for whatever the plot calls for- and yes, I am aware that this could mean anything, but we will not be powerless in this arc, loyal readers! Nature always finds a way" Man In Blue said, before the writer shifted focus to another part of the ship
.........
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 22, 2017 23:58:44 GMT -5
In Earth orbit, Lightbender had parked the Borg Cube over Sodor and was using a plumbus when Kendarboo strolled in.
"No luck. SOM would rather defend their city then strike Elbaf. Probably wise. Ainz Oonz Goul did say the possibility for a future alliance exists, however."
"Bah." Lightbender spat. "Godless heathens. I don't like having to associate with them."
"Just because someone is a non-believer doesn't make them worthless, and vice versa. I believe most of VEC can be converted if we try."
Lightbender growled. "The two we captured are Rowena Direli and Red Negsnart. According to them, the original founders of the War Ensemble are the rather cliche descendants of Vlad The Impaler and Attila The Hun, as well as a deranged magic-hating cyborg named Mayella Hess and an AI named Maxine Kim. Kim and Hess are plotting against Vlad and Attila because they use magic, meaning there is a weakness in their command we can exploit. However, we have a bigger problem. Norrambus has launched a space shuttle full of French Colorwomen and is trying to dock."
"Shoot it down." Femme Dans Vert said with a scowl, marching in.
Lightbender shrugged and pressed a button. The space shuttle exploded.
"What happened to split the French Colorwomen into two factions anyway?" Lightbender asked.
"It started when Femme Dans Blanc ordered us to follow Brainiac. Some of us refused, and I led an uprising. We worked for a time to undermine Brainiac, until Kendarboo showed us the ways of the Horned One. Now, what is your backstory?"
Lightbender shrugged. "Me? I was a member of VEC when me, Kendarboo, and someone named Icemeister realized that the Horned One was not being given the respect due him, and further, he was a neutral rather than evil god. So we overthrew VEC with the intent to start our own church."
"But why do you have Sol then?"
"Simple. Sol is a being of pure good, Mary Sue though he is. Killing him will give the Horned One great power. Until then, he is still a powerful ally when we need someone who's unambiguously good."
"Diabolical."
*******
At Ullfstead Castle, Norrambus was in tears.
"Susan... she's gone!"
"And all the other French Colorwomen with her, conveniently leaving only me, the only one with any development or grasp of English." Femme Dans Blanc observed.
"All is not lost. We still have Jack, Jason, Vax, and Unicorn." Brainiac replied.
"But what good is a "murder train", engine with a machete taped to its buffer, flying engine, and Colorfolk engine?" Norrambus replied.
"For starters, Unicorn can turn you human again." Brainiac quipped, rolling his giant eyes.
"Oh, right, I've been a rooster this whole time."
A few seconds later, Norrambus was human again, and was already scheming.
"Two humans, four engines, and a talking head against the War Ensemble? Not great odds." He said.
"It doesn't need to be great odds." Brainiac said. "Wait until you get a glimpse of my awesome power!"
"Save it. The effects budget is going towards the space arc." Femme Dans Blanc said.
"Right, right, it can wait until a thematically appropriate time." Brainiac acquiesced.
"Say, how'd you two meet anyway?" Norrambus asked.
Brainiac began. "I hired her and the late Femme Dans Rouge to take down Tidmouth Sheds during the War Of The Shards Arc. Later on, I gained power from a different source to avoid being purified and recruited them full time. We've grown quite close, actually."
"But what about you? How does a respected royal become a mad scientist?" Femme Dans Blanc asked.
"It all started when I bought a space shuttle, this being the sort of thing rich white assholes do. I discovered it didn't have a face, so I bought some Pramoloxy, which you'll recall from the old arcs is what brings engines to life somehow, and the spaceship became Susan. I fell in a vat of the stuff though, and was inspired to build Vax, Jason, and Jack."
"Great, unimportant backstory details are done, now Tug has a songfic to write." Vax snapped, ending the post.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 24, 2017 0:57:58 GMT -5
Meanwhile, Man In Bright Turquoise and Vados were trying to figure out how to get out of their situation. BT was the first to have an idea.
"Some of my tricks don't need magic- if I can determine the density of the metal of our chains and its natural frequency I can cause them to vibrate at the subatomic level and cause liquification" BT explained as he tried to figure out. But then there were bigger problems. Vadodara saw a crack appear in front of them; but it wasn't on s wall or curling; it was there, in the middle of empty space.
"Uh... BT- why is there a crack in the middle of the room?" Vadod asked.
"What?! Already?! Darn it, I've been outside my pocket dimension too long, those things are usually kept in check but it seems that somebody's been accessing pocket dimensions a little to often" BT said, annoyed.
"What is it?"
"Dimensional crack; basically, imagine reality as a book, and each page is a dimension- that crack is a tear in a page; the separation between this dimension and the next has weakened. When I said there were things out there that no one could understand and dangers no one could comprehend- this is one of them" BT said
"What causes them?"
"Overfrequent trans dimensional crossings; one reason why teacher spends a lot of his time keeping the cubii in check without then knowing it" BT explained.
"How bad could it possibly get?" Vados asked.
"Too many cracks can cause dimensions to merge, and all that matter and energy crossing the gap at once- trust me, it's not a pretty sight" BT explained.
"You mean you've seen this before?!"
"11 times as a matter of fact" BT replied. "Now while you wait for me to figure this out- pray once we're separated I can return to my pocket dimension and fix those cracks" BT said.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 24, 2017 1:41:30 GMT -5
What was the cause of the cracks? All the fictional characters Kendarboo and Lightbender were summoning. Also, for the record when it comes to dimension hopping, even Teacher is a novice compared to a Cubii's natural ability. And said ability also seals dimensional cracks behind them if need be.
Anyway, Kendarboo had guests. T'hringa was a major orc general from GOD. She had brought three other orcs- D'kelka, J'burk, and D'akh, with her.
"I would like to formally invite you to join GOD." She said.
"I'd like to formally invite you to join the Church Of The Hornex." Kendarboo countered.
T'hringa rolled her eyes, but agreed to go along with Kendarboo for now.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Aug 24, 2017 22:39:50 GMT -5
Seven deadly sins Seven ways to win Seven holy paths to hell And your trip begins
Seven downward slopes Seven bloodied hopes Seven are your burning fires Seven your desires...
Ladies and gentlemen, from 3WSR Studios, a 1,000 Eyes production...
Seventy-Sixth Toz of a Seventy-Sixth Toz
Based in part on Iron Maiden's Seventh Son of a Seventh Son
PART IV: The Evil That Men Do Toz woke up in a cold sweat. He had had another nightmare. They were never leaving him alone. On and on and on they came to him, wave after wave. Tonight's was a particularly haunting one. In this dream, he had met the daughter of Satan himself, and together they had had sweet, passionate sex. And yet, in his dream, after it was all over, something felt wrong. It felt as if he had crossed one line too many. Something was corroding his soul. Something deadly. It felt as though in a matter of days everything would fall apart. He would be no more.
But luckily, it was only a dream. Only a dream one could wake from and be none the worse for.
And then, looking down, he saw a woman lying with him in his bed.
It was then he realized that this was no dream.
Love is a razor and I walked the line on that silver blade Slept in the dust with his daughter Her eyes red with the slaughter of innocence But I will pray for her, I will call her name out loud I would bleed for her, if I could only see her now
Living on a razor's edge, balancing on a ledge Living on a razor's edge, balancing on a ledge Balancing on a ledge, living on a razor's edge Balancing on a ledge, you know, you know
The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on
Circle of fire my baptism of joy at an end it seems The seventh lamb slain, the book of life opens before me But I will pray for you, some day I may return Don't you cry for me, beyond is where I learn
Living on a razor's edge, balancing on a ledge Living on a razor's edge, you know, you know
The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on
Toz looked down. His head was spinning and his body gasped for life. He was dying. Lust had been the cause of what would soon be his untimely demise. Here he was, perched on a cliff, water and sharp rocks below him. Should he fall, it would be a quick end to an otherwise painful death. That's why he'd come.
It was all to apparent as to what had happened. He had been used only for his spawn. His life was of no importance to the greater scheme of things. He was just a pawn in a game of Good and Evil. A pawn that had just been struck down. He'd been used by the devil and his evil seed. An unwitting fool was all he'd ever been, all he ever was, and all he ever would be. Time would pass him over. He'd be forgotten. Just another faceless man in the annals of history.
He coughed. Blood was now on his hands. Tightening of air. He grasped his chest in pain. And then down he plunged into the rocks below...
And so ended the tale of the Seventy-Sixth Toz.
Far away, however, a woman was giving birth to a child. A child, the spawn of Good and Evil. The devil's grandson. The unknowing one who would receive powers beyond belief.
But that's another story...
Living on a razor's edge, balancing on a ledge Living on a razor's edge, you know, you know
The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and on The evil that men do lives on and ooooooooooooooooooon!
The evil, the evil, the evil that men do The evil, the evil, the evil that men do!
OH OH!
To be continued...
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 24, 2017 23:41:58 GMT -5
"And that's how the Church Of The Hornex came to be." Kendarboo transitioned abruptly. "Any questions?" D'kelka raised his hand. "Yeah, how come no records exist of that whole story about the orcs? I think that would make a fundamental shift in how the world at large perceives us." "Well, when we invaded the Great Hall, Inferno got into the Archives. He only destroyed a few files, but we believe one of those files was the file on prior orc interactions. After that, it was nearly a century before the colorfolk and the orcs met again, and by then their previous relationship of mutual respect was just a vague oral tradition." D'akh raised his hand. "That is going to be developed later, right?" "Don't look at me, I'm not an author." Kendarboo left the four orcs in the room and went to an annex, where Lightbender and Femme Dans Vert was waiting. "How's it going?" "I don't know. They seem to be accepting my statements as fact, but they probably won't fully believe us until they get to talk to the Horned One firsthand." "Well... that can be arranged." Femme Dans Vert said, whispering to Lightbender, who chuckled. "The Cubii are away, now is the perfect time. Let's do it." And... that's it. Until Eyes does something of substance with the War Ensemble, Tug does something with the people in space, or Frank does... something, I have no more ideas that wouldn't rush the plot. Please, I beg of thee, post promptly. Especially you, Tug.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 25, 2017 1:00:51 GMT -5
(VEC didn't get into the archives- "man in gold barred the doors with magic so pure that any evil that dared touch it turned to ash." However- they did get into one of the nearby "study rooms" where documents are kept when being read and destroyed those. While it is tempting to agree with that idea- there are things I still haven't quite figured out yet before I can be certain that allowing certain records to be destroyed then won't affect plans I have in the future)
Quite frankly, the authors were sick of the lack of development on the war ensemble, so while we wait for tug to do something with space, we're going to go back in time to before that happened and see what the other Colormen were up to while the tournament was going on
.....
Having not actually participated in the tournament, Man In Gold had been teleported back to the Great Hall by BT to resume work in the archives. Ever since other Colormen scholars had come to work with him, the organization of the records had gone far smoother. As he turned to one particular shelf, he was rather impressed by the discoveries that had been made just by organizing the records.
"Despite the records lost in that room when VEC invaded, and some other records lost to the dark era, many long missing diaries from some of the most legendary Colormen of Sodor had been found, and a couple particular sets were of interest to Man In Gold.
"My family line... the diaries go all the back 1000 years... one generation after another, an unbroken chronicle of life on Sodor. The earliest one, before the first man in Gold, his geandfather's diaries, which start in 1028....I guess I see where it comes from" he mused as he looked over the shelf of diaries of the Criddleton line. Of course, the men did not write much as young children or babies; but it was the overlap of generations that created an incredible chronicle of life on Sodor over the past 1000 years. And Man In Gold knew that such knowledge did not deserve to gather dust in the archives.
......
"In other news today, Sudrians and historians alike have become ecstatic over the announcement of the publication of The Criddleton diaries; an unbroken chronicle of life on Sodor that spans almost a millenia. Steve Criddleton, owner of the diaries and one of Sodor's own Colormen, has promised that the diaries shall be released in volumes, following their translation from Middle English to Modern English. What stories could these diaries tell us? It's hard to say, but historians that have sampled the diaries so far have gone on record saying that the Criddletons contribution to the history of Sodor is invaluable; "this record sheds light on parts of Sodor's history thought to have no surviving accounts; these diaries just may be the only surviving perspective on many important events long forgotten by time" as some put it. With the first volumes due out in a month, one can only wonder the stories that will be told, and the history that has been long forgotten. More on this as the story unfolds.
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on Aug 26, 2017 23:36:21 GMT -5
Meanwhile, the leaders of the War Ensemble were having an argument.
"Listen," said Vlad, "the best way to take over Sodor is to take out the Colorfolk first. They're 'Sodor's Brave Protectors'. Bullsh*t. With our might they'd crumble like the pussies they are."
"I disagree," said Attila. "I think SOM and VEC need to be dealt with. We've been keeping a close eye on all of the Sudrian groups and these two I feel are the ones that are strongest. The Colorfolk? Big deal. Let's tackle their adversaries."
"Yes but from what we've heard, the Colorfolk are always beating the other groups."
"True, but without the leaders of all the groups here, are they still stronger?"
"Listen, dumbasses," said Hess, "we're going for the heart of Sodor - its government. The mayor, the Fat Controller, those guys. Without the rest of the Sudrians, who have been magicked away, they're even weaker than before, and let's face it, they were already pretty weak. We take over City Hall and the surrounding area and we've already won."
"Firstly," said Attila, "the Sudrian government officials are so weak that it's best to leave them be and work on the heavy-hitters. Secondly, never say upfront 'we're going to' again. This is a 50/50 operation. We decide together. Got that, you little bitch?"
"Well as it happens, you bastard, my robots happen to outnumber your f*ckwads, so I believe it's not exactly 50/50."
"Oh shut the f*ck up about it already!" roared Vlad. "Be glad I haven't impaled your ass yet!"
"OH YEAH!" cried Hess. "WELL WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO SUCK ON A --"
Kim was busy coming up with a plan to argue.
Meanwhile...
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 28, 2017 1:02:03 GMT -5
Sol was observing them all with the Wicked Witch Of The West's crystal ball.
"Typical villains. Fighting amongst themselves. It just makes them weak. Then again, heroes aren't immune to that weakness either..."
*******FLASHBACK*********
Heph, Nikko, Eduardo, Minos, Flamethrower, Eli, Twitter, Noproe, Dravini, and Kokar hacked through the undergrowth. Ever since the Red Ori-Kari Vaskip revealed with his dying breath that Heph was the Great Creator StephOfTheEast reborn, the group had been seeking the Five Dieties Of Dem-Hadur to discover Heph's true potential. The first diety, Sol, was said to reside in this very jungle.
"I don't see a damn thing. I wanna be back home with Redia." Nikko whined, dragging the Club Of Truth behind him.
"Quit your whining, human." Dravini snapped. "That is a sacred weapon, and I will not allow you to besmirch it."
"Somehow, I liked you better when you were still our enemy." Flamethrower snarked, struggling through the undergrowth on one leg.
"But if I hadn't teamed up with you to rescue Chico from the Handsome Evil Light Mage In The Corner, we never would have discovered that he and Minos were the Prophecied and discovered the Lost City Of Animalia!" Dravini protested.
"Yeah, and I wouldn't have lost my leg when your attempt to destroy the Spectre released the Unholy Trinity from the Underworld. Vladgaga, Tors, and Elmo are still loose, you know."
"Stop! Aluk senses something!" Noproe ordered, halting the party.
"Is it Sol?" Heph asked.
"Probably just another false alarm. Like that time in the Culdene Fellow's lair when you thought Aluk sensed the Mercurial Tomes, but it was just that "Cubii Advance Patrol" that almost killed us and alerted the fellows to our presence." Eli snarked.
"Aluk says screw you." Noproe reported.
"No, it's the real deal. I sense an ego that eclipses even my own." Twitter reported.
Dravini and Kokar knelt and dug in the dirt with their hands, the later changing prayers to Chariotfan4 and 500 Ears under his breath.
"WHO DARES DISTURB THE GREATEST OF THE DEM-HADUR?" a voice boomed. A golden, completely nude man appeared levitating above them.
Eduardo knelt. "Sol, oh great and mighty, vassal of the arrogance of the Great Creator! We come to you with the reborn Great Creator himself to seek your help-"
"Well, if the Great Creator is here, what purpose do I have in speaking to a lowly wood-elf?
Sol floated over to Heph.
"You're shorter. And dirtier. And a man. You chose a poor vassal to return in, Great Creator."
Heph stood commandingly, remembering what Spythorn the Spider Animoloid had taught him after the Great Lemon Incident. "I wish to unlock the secrets of the Sword of Destiny."
Sol glared. "That's all? You have the power to completely rewrite reality. You make Mister Marvelous look like a beaver knawing desperately on the threads of reality in comparison. And you want to know about the freaking sword. Well, alright, far be it from me to refuse an order from the Great Creator her- I'm sorry, HIMself."
Heph handed Sol the sword. "What do the runes mean?"
"The runes? Really? Any translator with a basic grasp of the unknown language could tell you that. Fine. It basically says that each time the Great Creator dies, they remain dead for a very long time and is reborn weaker. Next time you're reborn, by the way, it will be hundreds if not thousands of years in the future, as a powerful mage who will absorb a lot of evil, grow in power a trillionfold, and become a evil being called "Silvestron". So try not to die, K?"
Heph nodded, becoming a bit fed up. "Alright, and what can the sword do?"
"What can the sword do?" Sol repeated back mockingly. "Barely anything. It has two basic power ranges, fire and air, and can be crossed with other Weapons Of Light to combine their powers, especially with the Prophecied- oh, who cares. About the only thing this stupid sword can do that you haven't figured out yet is alter the Dem-Hadur and create Light Warriors to fight for you, and quite frankly, I don't think the pathetic sack of testosterone you currently inhabit is up to the task. If I were you, I'd-"
But he was cut short when Heph shot a bolt of energy at Sol. His eyes glowed red as he lifted off the ground and floated across from the golden man.
"Alter the Dem-Hadur, huh? How about I make you a kind, universally loved, generous person?" Heph asked, his voice echoing. The others were not that surprised. Heph had gone into this "God Mode" several times before, ever since he had to watch Elmo kill Pokyrah in cold blood.
"You can't do that!" Sol snapped, defiant the last. "The Dem-Hadur were created as a host for the negative aspects of the Great Creator's personality. I'm the host for her arrogance. If you remove it from me, it will return to you, unless you decide to graft it to someone else."
Heph was almost in tears. "Damn you, Sol!"
"I told her we should make a sixth Dem-Hadur to host her angst, but did she listen? Nooo..." Sol muttered.
"I will host his arrogance." Twitter said, lowering his red plumaged head.
"But Twitter! Georgethescholarlyman granted you the gift of character development! Becoming magically arrogant will erase all of that." Eduardo objected.
"It will get removed eventually. That I'm sure of. If it means Sol can train Heph, I'm willing to sacrifice my personality to allow it."
"No! Twitter! You can't!" Nikko sobbed.
"I will never forget you, child." Twitter said, perching on the boy's shoulder.
And that's when it happened. Heph jerked his arm, and a glob of tentacled blackness emerged from Sol's pristine golden body, leaking out of every orifice and coalescing before Heph. Heph pointed his sword at Twitter, and the blackness seeped towards the phoenix, entering his body the same way it exited Sol's.
"You shouldn't have done that." Eduardo said, as Heph floated down to the ground, exhausted. "You've removed all his flaws and made him universally loved. The gods have a word for that. Mary Sue. You will come to rue this day."
"If we're going to defeat the Unholy Trinity, we need all the help we can get." Heph angsted. He turned back to Sol. "So, you mentioned Light Warriors?"
**********END*FLASHBACK***********
Sol couldn't help but shed a tear. All of those people were long dead, but they had been true friends. Now he was stuck with a bunch of neutral and evil beings. He wondered briefly what had happened to the other four Dem-Hadur. Probably still buried on Sodor somewhere.
Sol reached into his pocket and grabbed the wooden boat carving. "Don't worry, Aluk. I'll get us out of this."
Glittering words appeared on the side of the boat. "I know you will."
*********
I've long since given up on much more happening in the story game, but I did have plans for it, and some of them are reflected here. And in case you keep track of my vague story game references, Damoni gets introduced not long after this. Mostly, though, I wanted to write something fun.
Little Trivia: That Great Creator, StephOfTheEast? She's the user who started the original 3WSR on the original forum in the first place. She probably forgot the whole thing existed by now, but I thought it was a nice touch.
I totally forgot to slip in a reference to Flasky the onion-loving comic relief vampire. Damn!
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Sept 3, 2017 23:52:18 GMT -5
Meanwhile, a brief return to the sub plot no one cares about:
......
Frank was terrified; he had remained in character purgatory while the others had been returned after the writer returned to his senses. His only company was other, long forgotten characters that had not appeared in forever, including Jenkins, Eyes' loyal Butler, and... surprisingly, some members of VEC.
"Short Fuse? Sticky Hands? Owl Man? What are you doing here?" Frank asked.
"Our powers are so useless and pointless no one knew what to do with us, so we ended up here around... March, give or take" Owl Man said.
"Wow, I never realized... so what do you guys do around here?" Frank asked.
"Well... Tuesday is barbecue night" Short fuse said.
"I guess that's not too bad" Frank shrugged as he went to join them for some ribs, pulled pork and brisket.
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Post by Toz76 on Sept 4, 2017 0:50:23 GMT -5
"It's gotten pretty lonely around here ever since all those French Colorwomen left." Short Fuse commented.
"Oh yeah, most of them got killed off." Frank commented.
"Maybe it's a good thing we're stuck here." Owl Man commented. "I'd hate to return just to be killed off."
"That's what happened to Dr Laser." Frank commented. "And the Salamander."
"THEY'RE DEAD!?" Sticky hands exclaimed. "What TUG POST happened?"
"They were attacked TUG POST by GOD." Frank explained.
"So they've become more TUG POST important then? Probably at TUG POST the expense of other vital plot threads like TUG POST Lightbender."
"No, he's back too." TUG POST said.
"Well then maybe they should TUG POST back too, if they're just going to keep bringing TUG POST-forgotten characters." Sticky Hands said, trying to deal with the pulled pork that was stuck to his TUG POST.
"Wait, how do you have all this meat anyway? Is TUG POST grocery store in Character TUG POST something?" Frank asked.
"Actually, we have an infinite source of meat. Say TUG POST to Mr Piggles!" TUG POST.
"Mr Piggles? But I thought he was TUG POST Keyes TUG POST sacrificial knife with a TUG POST as a handle TUG POST bondage mask TUG POST thrust into the TUG POST." Frank said.
"Well, he was TUG POST. As a named character, he TUG POST to survive the brutal TUG POST defilement and now any of his flesh will regenerate when cut off. Which means... infinite pulled pork! TUG POST!" Owl Man exclaimed.
"But where did you get the barbecue sauce? Or the TUG POST? And TUG POST the picnic TUG" POST Frank, confused.
"Simple. We TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST duck TUG POST gift of carrot TUG POST TUG POST humiliating photos of TGC wearing a TUG POST TUG POST 19-year old Chinese woman TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST so I pulled the baseball bat out of TUG POST and..."
"All this TUG POST is making me TUG POST." Ocean Man exclaimed TUG POSTingly. "I've always wanted to TUG POST with a writer."
The next three hours were a flurry of passionate TUG POST as Frank, TUG POST, TUG POST, and TUG POST did all sorts of TUG POST in every TUG POST they could conceive of, TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST thrust TUG POST bent TUG POST TUG POST Mr Piggles TUG POST TUG POST spanked TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST.
TUG POST, TUG POST TUG POST. TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST, TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST. "We should TUG POST again sometime." TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST YOU WILL SEND TOZ MONEY TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST.
(Authors note: TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST TUG POST, and always practice safe sex.)
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Sept 16, 2017 1:21:20 GMT -5
Well it's clear this isn't going anywhere for a while so... time to take the story in a new direction
......
We appear in a backstage area, where we clearly see many of the iconic places affiliated with 3WSR in set form. Various members of the 3WSR world are seen going about the location when at last we meet our host.
"Hi, I'm Doc Knickerbocker, and welcome to our tour behind the scenes of 3WSR. While we're here, we'll meet the characters, take a look at where the magic happens, and even meet some of the unsung heroes that make this story possible.
(Cut to; Man In Black, sitting on chair akin to what directors/actors sit in)
"Of course it's quite an honor to be the first original character ever created for 3WSR. Sometimes I wonder what my place is now since I haven't had an arc in a while, but it feels good knowing I helped kickstart this whole thing.
(Cut to: Man In Gold)
"Of course I do think that it's unfortunate we lost a huge chunk of the story. Many of our best moments happened in that original forum, you know"
(Cut to: Man In Blue)
"Sometimes I do question the direction the writer wants us to go in. I mean, we're supposed to be a Thomas fanfiction, and I wonder if we've stolen the spot light to the point that we don't really have a direction anymore"
(Cut to: Bronze Mage)
"It does get pretty boring around here; the writers only create new scripts for us to follow every so often. Daniel and I are sworn enemies, but when we're off the clock everyone pretty much mingles with each other. It's about the only thing keeping us sane while we wait for the writers to return to duty.
(Cut to: Dr. Lazer)
"Sure, it ducks that they killed me; but if we're being honest I've needed a break for a long time. And I was pretty much doomed from the start- my powers were only so useful for so long"
(Cut to: Fark Devonshire)
"Sure, we're late in the game, but the way I see it GOD has just as much a part in the fabric of 3WSR as the original factions"
(Cut to: The General)
"You know, it's so annoying that Frank keeps forgetting that I can talk normally now, and he keeps exploiting me for a laugh by reverting me back to my old voice. When do s it end? Seriously
(Cut to: Metallicana)
"Sure, we have been in the background for a while, but i feel that our time will come again soon. SOM isn't down, we're just planning"
(Cut to: Woman in Brown and Captain Hypoglycemia are making out, then awkwardly stop when they realize the camera is on them)
"Oh, I uh, sorry. Ahem, well this doesn't really happen when we're on duty..."
"But when you find yourself working up to 14 hours a day sometimes, you just gotta release that stress"
(Cut to: The salamander)
"It's not fair I tell you! I never even did anything substantial and they just killed me! What the heck?! I got a wife and four kids you know!"
(Cut to: back to Doc Knickerbocker)
"And that was just a small handful of the colorful cast that populates our world. Let's see who else is around. (We see Percy Silver)
"Ah, Percy Silver, what are you up to?"
"My ice magic! Check it out!" Percy said... only to freeze himself.
"Well, that was expected. How's about we go check in on Vivian" Doc said.
(Cut to, Doc enter's Vivian's room; we see she's in a chair with her baby)
"Hey, Vivian. We just thought we'd stop by. How's the baby doing?" Doc began.
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Post by Toz76 on Sept 16, 2017 11:52:38 GMT -5
"This isn't even my baby. It's my character's baby. In real life, I'm seeing Vados."
(Cut to: Lightbender)
"Working with Kendarboo has been a real joy. I mean, he's been in Star Wars, James Bond, the Emoji Movie..."
(Cut to: Balor)
"Suleiman seems like a nice guy, but let me tell you, behind the scenes he's a bitter alcoholic loser."
(Cut to: Fark Devonshire)
"What the hell? My contract calls for twelve nude scenes and the sacrifice of my firstborn son? Can we renegotiate this?"
(Cut to: Mr Piggles)
*Traumatized squeals*
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Post by Tug on Sept 16, 2017 18:29:04 GMT -5
*INSERT EPIC MUSICAL ESCAPE FROM PRISON CELL SCENE HERE* ... As Vados' lips left BT's, the two are still handcuffed, and the final Galanfraxvis' body fell to the floor filled with laser bullet holes... "That was invigorating, right Turquoise?" laughed Vados as BT could only blush in response... Just then the team tasked with finding them appeared... "Oh look the calvary's here..." ..... "High Commander Phereon! We have an emergency on our hands!" "What is it soldier?!" yelled Phereon impatiently "All the prisoners have escaped, The High Council has been severely injured as the representatives and their defense council were freed, the God of Destruction escaped by himself while screaming about a substance called "pudding", the poison man drowned the Warden and shaming him on his management skills while doing so, a large group of them eliminated a majority of our forces while they were eating, another group has taken over the ship's bridge, and they won't stop playing obnoxious noise from what the Earthlings call 'the 70s' over the loudspeaker!" replied the female soldier "Good Titans! The 70s! I mean... Good Titans! They've taken over my ship! Arrange a counter attac..." ordered Phereon, but as he was saying that, a hyperspace portal opened up, with the Powder Keg crashed into the Stockade as the Arabesque shot at the now combined ships, sending them into the opened portal, with the rest of the fleet being sucked into it as well since they were in such close vicinity. How these events came to transpire, well... THERE TOZ, I POSTED, HAPPY NOW JACKASS! )
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Post by Toz76 on Sept 16, 2017 22:50:24 GMT -5
Priori and Inferno broke down the cells and freed all the captured dudes. The three teams then headed to the bridge, where Man In Steel made quick work of the leaders. But things had gone downhill from there, and now the group, minus BT, Vados, and Magellan, were cornered in the hangar bay.
"We can use this ship to escape!" Vivian yelled.
"Do any of us know how to fly that thing?" Redfox snapped.
"Tim does!" Bronze Mage yelled.
The 37 or so of the crammed into the shuttlecraft. It was built for five-legged, nine-foot tall, part liquid beings, so it was an uncomfortable ride to say the least.
"Go Tim go!" Inferno yelled as the godlike being took the controls, flew out of the hangar, and promptly broke the control panel.
"Sh*t sh*t sh***********t!" Man In Brown yelled as the escape pod plummeted towards an oddly crater-free rock planet.
Meanwhile, Magellan was...
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