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Post by Toz76 on May 3, 2017 22:09:45 GMT -5
I dunno about you guys, but I often get ideas for posts in the game or whatnot that I simply can't use at the current point in the game. So the intention of this thread is to post things that will be in the game in a future arc, so you don't forget your brilliant jokes before the story advances enough to include them. We already have a similar thread for LM, but that's more planned out anyway, and this thread may never be used, but it's here if you want it.
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Post by Toz76 on May 7, 2017 21:38:47 GMT -5
This post will take place sometime after the Tournament. Where exactly doesn't matter too much, as it's not setting up anything in the immediate future.
**********
Man In Bright Turquoise was glad to finally be back in the safety of his dimension. He was more than a little exhausted, and it was time for some well-earned R&R.
"Oh, you're back." Id said. "How was learning you're just as weak as everybody else?"
"Shut up." BT shot back.
"You know I'm right. You could just destroy evil in a heartbeat."
"I don't want to."
"You'd be willing to let your colorfolk comrades suffer and die?"
"Well, no, I'd intervene then..."
"But did you intervene when Man In Steel killed all those GOD pilots over Elbaf?"
"Well, no, but..."
"You're being a hypocrite. Stop being a hypocrite."
"I don't have to deal with you right now." And BT transformed his dimension into a sandy beach. He sat down on a beach chair with a pina colada and shut his eyes.
He opened them 20 seconds later when he heard the sound of gears.
Looking up, BT saw what appeared to be a robot, designed with sort of a retro vibe, hence the gears, but otherwise very high-tech and extremely altered. The symbol א was emblazoned on its chest, and it had Bright Turquoise highlights on various components.
"What-who are you?" He stuttered.
"I am you. Or at least, what you could be."
"Wha-huh?"
"You allow imperfections to exist. War. Famine. Evil. You still cling to this pathetic flesh and blood body. You could eradicate evil with ease, but you don't."
"I don't want to be responsible for anyone's death."
"Except for GOD pilots you didn't save, victims of domestic violence you didn't save, people with incurable diseases you could have cured. Inaction is the same as taking action- taking the action to let people die. If you really want to save the world, do this."
A strip of paper appeared in robo-BT's hand.
"Simply change the x-value in the equation for entropy to this number and all the ills of this world- this universe- will disappear."
BT looked at the paper. It read "א0".
"I can't do this." He said, tearing the paper up. "There are too many variables."
"A shame." The robot illusion said, beginning to fade.
BT was left alone on the hallucinatory beach, deep in thought.
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Post by Toz76 on May 7, 2017 23:33:07 GMT -5
This post will occur early af in the Sin City arc.
******
"Hey, Salfraslatar, you decent?"
Salfraslatar hissed. "I am completely naked. Come on in."
"That's great, cause your cloak looks stupid on you." Hannibal joked as he entered Salfraslatar's office.
Salfraslatar hissed. He did that no matter what mood he was in. Right now he was annoyed. Hannibal had been getting progressively more arrogant ever since taking command of Impel Down. And if his unprofessional flirting with a completely uninterested Domino wasn't bad enough, he delighted in belittling Salfraslatar. Salfraslatar was mature enough to maintain a straight face though. Hannibal was annoying yes, but he at least managed the prison adequately, although Salfraslatar thought he could do better.
"Ssssssso what do you want, Hannibal?"
"Glad you asked, snake boy. A call came in from central."
"Desssssssszeld?"
"That's right, Slytherin. Sssssssin sssssity." Hannibal impersonated his accent. "They're transporting Zemlya from wherever the hell she's been to the capital building so she can take her rightful command. They wanted me to send a delegation of guards to help in the transport, mentioning that the chosen guards will be allowed to spend 72 hours enjoying the sights and sounds of sin city when the job is complete. So I thought, who can I spare for 72 hours? Why not the snakeman who sits around in the buff all the time doing nothing?"
"I don't "do nothing", I monitor the sssssssseessssssssseetv camerassssssss, and patrol every three hourssss. I barely even ssssssssleep," Salfraslatar hissed, "which is more than you can sssssssay with your various misssssssstressssssssesssssss."
"Hey, they aren't mistresses- wait, what cameras?"
"Sssssssseessssssssseetv."
"Oh, CCTV. Whatever. Useless tech garbage. Well, take your 20 best and be at the exit port in 20 minutes."
"With pleasssssssure, asssssssssshole." Salfraslatar snarked, slithering to his wardrobe and grabbing his cloak.
What followed was 5 minutes of Hannibal doubling over in laughter as Salfraslatar attempted to fit his long neck into the cloak, occasionally popping his head out of the sleeve and hissing in frustration.
"My god, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen."
"I'm sssssure you've sssssseen it hundredssssss of timesssssss on the camerassssss I know you have watching me 24-sssssssseven."
"How did you know about that?"
"You're extremely arrogant and know I'm more competent than you, meaning if the sssssssss*** hitsssss the fan, I'll be getting your job, sssssso it'sssss only logical you'd monitor me conssssstantly for any ssssssssmall rules violation you could report to Raiossssssss. Alssssssso, you didn't even try to hide the camerasssssss."
"Yeah, well, whatever. Go, or it'll reflect poorly on me for not sending a delegation."
"We wouldn't want that, would we?" Hissed Salfraslatar sarcastically, slithering out of the office. The two men exchanged a dirty look, each secretly plotting how to get rid of the other.
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Post by Toz76 on May 14, 2017 0:08:56 GMT -5
This post will also take place early on in the Sin City arc. I think all of you will like this one ******** The Law Of Conservation Of Detail is a simple concept. Basically, it means that a character who is "offscreen" will remain in place until needed by the plot again. This is hardly a hard-and-fast rule, but in general, it will hold consistent. What I'm trying to say is that Percy Silver was still stuck in a hole. How was he able to survive those long months underground? Well, it took a lot of resilience, dedication, inner strength, and the fact that Woman In Orange and Hornby James had dug a tunnel to his head so they could give him food and water. On this day, as Woman In Orange tried for the 15th time to explain the "birds and bees", a young woman wearing the robes of a Phoenix Apprentice Flame Mage happened by. "Why, hello, miss! What seems to be the trouble?" Woman In Orange, who was at the time dressed in civilian clothes (still orange though), looked up at the young woman and decided she wasn't a threat. "My friend Percy is stuck in a hole." "Well that's no biggie!" The flame mage smiled. She pulled from her pouch and grabbed a flask full of green liquid. She took a sip, grabbed Percy Silver by the legs, and pulled. Suddenly, he was free. "I'm Moltana, by the way. Who are you?" "I'm Hailey." Woman In Orange said. "I'm Percy Silver!" "Did you say... Percy Silver?" Woman In Orange felt the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. "Yep! That's me!" Percy Silver said cheerfully. "Do you know a Thomas Gold?" Moltana asked. "Yep! I used to work with him and the Bronze Mage, but then he sort of disappeared." "The Bronze Mage?" "Yeah, he's a really cool guy." "Hey, Percy, if you come with me, I can give you some candy." Moltana said. "Oh boy! Candy!" Percy Silver cheered. "Okay, that's it." Woman In Orange grabbed her ring from her pocket and put it on her finger. "I don't know who you are, but get away from him." "Ah, a colorwoman? Well, heck, in for a penny, in for a pound." Moltana sighed. She took a swig from another flask, this one containing a red liquid. Then she shot a spell at Woman In Orange. She was instantly knocked down. "That should keep you down for a while." Moltana whistled, and a chariot pulled by dark alicorn flew into the clearing. "Bone Andrea, one Mook with Colorfolk prisoner, Percy Silver prisoner, and major artifact to Deszeld administration on the double." Bone Andrea, the Infernal Demilich (basically a flaming skeleton) driving the chariot, nodded. "Load them up, I'll lock Hornby James in the trunk." "Hey! I have a wife and two beautiful daughters!" Hornby James yelled. Woman In Orange decided not to think about it too much. "Who or what do you work for?" She asked, as Bone Andrea dragged her into the chariot. Percy got in on his own, jumping for joy about a "Horsey Ride!" "I work for SOM, under Tartaros." Moltana said proudly as the chariot lifted off. "Just a generic grunt. But after such high-profile captures, I'm sure to start rising in the ranks. Soon I'll finally be able to mate, er, meet Metalicana." "Bulls**t. You're just a useless mook. I'm going to overpower you, escape, and you'll be forgotten." "Not without this, you won't." Moltana grabbed Woman In Orange's ring and threw it out the side of the chariot. It fell and landed somewhere near Droghan-y-Claghan. "Now, I know you don't need an artifact to fight, you have natural magic abilities. But let me just say this: Bone Andrea and I are both armed with Vallerium needles. We've been mass-producing them ever since the tournament. If you try anything, you will lose your magic forever." Woman In Orange sighed and didn't protest as the Vallerium cuffs were placed around her and Percy Silver's wrists, the latter too enamored by the approaching view of Deszeld to object.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 14, 2017 0:34:06 GMT -5
At some point we need to straighten out the Vallerium thing- I clarified on the wiki when the page was created that the Vallerium formula is only available to Colormen who signed the Contract in blood, and they can't share the formula because to outsiders it sounds like gibberish, and anyone who tries to read the formula that isn't a Colorman who signed said contract also interprets it as gibberish. And evil can't make the formula because the formula was "linked to the morality check" and should someone who is evil know the formula, they will immediately forget it.
If There is an answer I do apologize, but we literally have not done anything with this since early 2016.
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Post by Toz76 on May 14, 2017 0:37:30 GMT -5
That's a good point, but recall there was a 400 year period where the Morality Check was not in effect. Even if it's back now, it's probably not quite back to full strength due to how much more evil there is in the world, so the formula is probably no longer protected. Besides, SOM has had it since Impel Down, iirc.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 14, 2017 22:55:15 GMT -5
Since there is no way the Colorfolk would lose to the War Ensemble, regardless of how badass, powerful, etc. they are, I am writing this post to ensure that nothing "funny" with them happens when that starts-
......
At the Great Hall, the Colormen looked on in utter shock at what had just transpired through one of the viewing simulators in the Great Hall Underground.
"This can't be... even they didn't defeat this "war ensemble" crew?" Man In Red asked, shocked.
"Well, does that mean that it's our turn to go at them?" Man In Black asked.
"Don't be absurd! We will not fight an enemy we know nothing about. For now, we will observe and watch, nothing more. BT, did you prepare the "evacuation dimension" for the civilians?" Man In Blue asked.
"Yes; all non-magic beings have been teleported there; collateral damage will not be an issue" BT assured.
"Good; for now, the Combined Sudrian Colorfolk will stay in the Great Hall; our barrier's strengthening has left this place protected from all evil; not even a scrambler will protect them" Man In Blue explained.
"Hey, we've got the greatest tactician on the planet here, why not just use one of his plans?" Man In Silver asked.
"I can't just go in blind! Wait until I have more information. Once I understand the enemy, then we will fight them at their weakest" Man In White explained.
"Then it's settled. We shall remain here" Man In Blue declared.
So the Colorfolk ended up not fighting the War Ensemble, and with good reason too- even with the Hall and surrounding lands protected, in soon enough time they would have their own problems to deal with.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on May 23, 2017 22:49:36 GMT -5
(After the aliens are introduced)
"Wait a second, we're actually doing this? But I thought we said Checkhov's gun was nonsense! I mean, no one has seen the guy in a gorilla suit on a unicycle!"
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Post by Toz76 on May 29, 2017 23:32:04 GMT -5
It was a cold night, and Thomas was taking some coal trucks along his branch line. Suddenly, a burst of magic emerged from the bushes, and a tall figure tumbled out. The driver stopped the train.
"Hello? Are you hurt?" Thomas' driver called.
"I'm fine, thanks." The figure stood and turned to them.
"Kendarboo Flickerbee!" Thomas' fireman gasped.
"What happened?" Thomas' driver asked.
"No time to explain. I need your help. Do you still have that remote thing?"
"Yeah, right here, actually." Thomas' driver pulled it out and tossed it to him. "I'll need it back when you're done, though. I'm borrowing it from someone."
"That's fine, I just need to-"
But suddenly, a bolt of lightning forked through the woods, and a sudden burst of gold lightning illuminated the ground. When the blinding light cleared, Kendarboo was on his knees, the golden light was hovering above him, two charred corpses lay on the ground, and a shadowy figure was circling them.
"My crew!" Thomas exclaimed. "You... you killed them!"
"They didn't even have names!" The shadowy figure shot back. "Or established personalities! It's not even clear if you've had just one crew this whole time!"
Thomas was furious. Suddenly, his side rods began to glow with a vivid auburn hue and he began hovering above the rails, crackling with energy.
"YOU KILLED MY DRIVER!" Thomas yelled in a deep, reverberating voice. "NOW YOU WILL PAY!"
Kendarboo hurriedly pressed a button on the remote and he, the light, and the shadowy figure were whisked away. Thomas crashed back down on the ground, the impact cracking his wheels.
"What just happened?" He wondered aloud.
"That's what we want to know." A voice said. Thomas felt a sudden bitter cold, and then he fell unconscious.
******
"How come you didn't warn me Thomas could do that?" Lightbender yelled, furious. "He could have killed me!"
"I didn't know he could. It doesn't matter, anyway. We got what we came for." Kendarboo displayed the remote with a subtle grin.
"So what. We have a TV remote. What's it do?"
"Obviously, it's an ancient artifact only the chosen one, myself, can possess." Sol replied, floating down.
"Not this time, I'm afraid, Mary Sue." Kendarboo chuckled.
"So what's it do?" Lightbender grumbled.
"Lots of things, actually." Kendarboo pointed the remote into the middle distance. "But for our purposes..."
He pressed the "ON DEMAND" button, and a list of TV shows and movies popped up.
"Let us prepare an army, from whatever movies and shows come to mind. It's time... for a crossover."
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Post by Biblically Accurate Angel on May 29, 2017 23:41:08 GMT -5
*Some time later, after stuff happens, Mary Sue and Kendarboo Flickerbee end up alone, when suddenly out of nowhere...*
"Hello. My name is Thomas the Tank Engine. You killed my driver. Prepare to die."
"Oh sh*t!"
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 30, 2017 0:46:03 GMT -5
WARNING! ULTRA MEGA KETER DEATH PROTOCOL 3977 ACTIVATED MEGA SPOILERS CHARACTER DEATH JUICY DONGS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
Takes place after the tournament but before Game II ends.
**********
MEGA MEGA KETER DONGS TURN BACK NOW SPOILERS #THOMAS
**********
The ship was mostly empty. As it should be. It was transporting only a handful of low-security prisoners, after all. Honrybadger, the Mole King, the Mole Interpreter, the Mole Genius, the Mole Redshirts, and Shilliew were fully subjugated by the Bronze Mage. Knux, Krux, Lux, and Loki, the robots, were simply turned off. In fact, the only guards they had were Doctor Laser, Kniitwiit, The Salamander, a Hivemind body, and a few Duplicators.
"Check it! My lasers do actual damage now!" Doctor Laser said cheerfully, zapping the moonlit ocean.
"Dang! Nice!" Kniitwiit said with a grin.
"This mission is miserable. When are we going to get to Elbaf?" The Salamander grumbled.
"All in good time." Kniitwiit said cheerfully. "Right, Hivemind?"
"..."
"Holy sh*t! He's been stabbed!"
Indeed, Hivemind had been stabbed through the back.
"Couldn't even jump to a Duplicator." Kniitwiit sighed.
"What happened? Someone has to know!" The Salamander exclaimed.
"Who? Our backs were turned." Kniitwiit pointed out.
"Wait! This is a Thomas The Tank Engine Fanfiction!" Dr Laser exclaimed.
"Wait, it still is?" Kniitwiit asked.
"Larry! Did anyone board?"
"Shiver my starboard! Not that I saw!" Larry the boat replied.
"Then who did this?" The Salamander exclaimed in shock.
"I did." Said Mizette Shade.
Whirling around, the trio saw Mizette Shade, Zul Shadowmend, and Thomas Gold on the bow of the deck.
"Don't be alarmed." Mizette said calmly. "We only want the AVA. We won't hurt you unless you try to resist."
"Like hell I'm going to just stand here after you murdered a man!" The Salamander exclaimed, summoning flames on his body. "I will make you all suff-"
Thomas Gold pulled out a pistol and shot The Salamander through the heart.
The Salamander collapsed to the ground, lamenting that it was just his luck he'd be killed off in his first appearance in, like, forever.
"Ah well..." he muttered with his dying breath, "Inferno and Firebird made my powers redundant anyway."
Everything seemed to happen at once. Dr Laser shot his lasers at Thomas Gold, getting him in the left side of the face. Kniitwiit knitted a sword and engaged Mizette in a duel.
Zul Shadowmend pulled the AVA to him by their shadows and vanished.
Dr Laser ran to Kniitwiit's side to help him.
Zul remanifested.
Zul grabbed Dr Laser's shadow and pulled it in half.
Dr Laser gasped as he was yanked apart by some unknown force. His chest hit the ground a few feet from his stomach and legs.
In seconds, Mizette's sword was at Kniitwiit's throat.
"I'm going to let you live." Mizette said calmly. "Tell the Bronze Mage what happened, and that your friends died fighting for the Horned One. And also tell him this. Tell him that was just a taste. Cross us again, and the repercussions will be far worse."
And just like that, the GOD members vanished, leaving Kniitwiit alone on the ship.
"Well, wank my wheelhouse, we're f*cked as a ferry!"
"Go to hell, Larry."
******
Thomas Gold awoke in the Höfuðstöðvar Prime hospital. Marcia Quinn tended to his wounds, while Michelle Quinn stood nearby. In another corner, Dagronar gawked at an X-ray machine.
"What happened?"
"Laser to the left half of your face. Got a whole bunch of nasty scars and the left eye is gone. On the plus side, you look pretty badass now." Marcia quipped.
"Oh god..." Thomas Gold gasped. "Why did I do this? How did I get here?"
"How did a comically dumb sidekick become a dark and edgy warrior? You know, I've been wondering the same thing."
Labyrinth Christianti strode in. She was flanked by four orc guards.
"Orders from Abaddon. I need to take Gold to AHE. Mage Quinn, you're with me."
Suddenly, Labyrinth, Quinn, and Thomas Gold were teleported to a hallway miles away. A door was next to them. A placard was on the door, reading:
"Microcreature Containment. Secure Shakras Only."
Labyrinth addressed the door. "Skinshifter with Michelle Quinn and verified guest, Thomas Gold."
There was a pause, and then the door opened.
"This place is top secret. Only a handful of people know what's in here."
"What is in here?"
"Some valuable metatreasures and secret rooms we can't let Fark get into."
"Fark?" Thomas Gold said, surprised. "But he's like, the boss!"
"Please." Labyrinth snorted. "We make it look like that so that assassins come after him and not the real power. Only the council itself and a few trusted souls know that he's got little to no actual power in terms of administration."
"But, if he's not the boss, who is?"
"Abaddon."
"Besides him."
"The Vanguard."
"Who's the Vanguard? I don't know that codename."
"It used to be Salfraslatar's codename when he was still one of us. Nowadays the organization retains his name so that vanguard personnel can discuss vanguard activities without arousing suspicion."
"Wait, so the GOD is a front for a different faction called the Vanguard?"
"Hell no." Labyrinth laughed. "The GOD, Abbadon, phasic crystals... all real. But the real administrative power is the vanguard. We're like a ruling council over the ruling council, only the ruling council doesn't know about us."
"But... why are you telling me this?"
"Because... how do I say this... are you aware of the fourth wall?"
"Yeah. I know about the writers and crap. Why?"
Quinn sighed. "The writers. Pitiful false gods. They sit in their palace of clouds and do nothing."
Thomas Gold spared a glance at the younger Quinn sister. Before he'd joined GOD, she was just Harley Quinn Millie, although he'd always gotten the impression HQM kept a weirdly close eye on him. Then she'd vanished to become a VEC deep cover agent, then returned to induct him into VEC. Thomas didn't know if Michelle Quinn was a friend or a stranger. Now it became clear.
"Quinn was preparing me to join the Vanguard."
"Of course. We've been monitoring you and another for some time now. You fulfill most of the key elements of the... wait, I'll start from the beginning. You know the Tale of Tail, right?"
"No. Is it furry porn?"
"What did Tug say about sexual puns?"
"How should I know?"
Labyrinth sighed. "Anyway, the Tale of Tail is a 3977 stanza epic poem about a being named Silvestron. Silvestron is said to have the following traits:
*Of Sudric Colorman blood, but not themself a color man *Turned into a locomotive at some point *Falls in love with a female with a thicc ass who is detached initially. His quest to tap that ass is where the name comes from.1 *Has a "street name" associated with a "metal of medals".
"Silvestron goes on to kill the Horned One and become the most powerful Mage to ever live. The most likely candidate is subject Percy Silver, assuming Woman In Orange's ass is indeed thicc af. I'm not going to directly state who the second candidate is, rather I'm going to say it's an established character who fits the clues and it might be super obvious but it might just blow your mind. The third candidate, of course, is you. I want to stack the deck so that you become Silvestron and you're on our side."
Thomas Gold was understandably outraged.
"You just ruined the Tale of Tail joke forever!"
"Wait until you find out what the gift of carrot is." Labyrinth teased.
"Okay, this is all too meta and expositiony for me." Thomas Gold whined.
"I haven't even told you who is and isn't in the Vanguard yet!"
"I don't care. I need to sit down." Thomas Gold reached for a door labeled "3977- Metarecursive Temporal Narrative Anomaly Storage".
"DON'T GO IN THERE! I DIDN'T PREPARE YOU! THE WRITERS CAN'T KNOW!"
*****
Gur ebbz jnf cynvayl sheavfurq. N pbhcyr fbsnf naq raq gnoyrf, naq n srj obbxpnfrf. Gur obbxf unq gvgyrf yvxr "Rirelbar Vf Ba N Zrqvriny Wbhearl", "Yvgrenel Zbfnvp K: Gur Gnoyrf Ghea", naq "Puebavpyrf Bs Ryons, Obbx 1: Tvnagf".
Ohg gur zbfg vzcbegnag guvat va gur ebbz jrer gur sbhe obbxf va tynff pnfrf ba gur onpx jnyy.
Gur svefg obbx jnf yvggyr zber guna svir furrgf bs cncre. Gur frpbaq, nobhg svsgl cntrf. Gur guveq, zber guna gjvpr gung fvmr, naq gur sbhegu, rira ovttre. Na rzcgl svsgu pnfr fgbbq arneol. Gubznf Tbyq pbhyq thrff jung gung jnf sbe.
Gur sbhegu obbx jnf bcra, naq jbeqf jrer pbafgnagyl orvat nqqrq gb vg.
"Guvf... guvf vf vaperqvoyr!"
"Vg'f nyfb irel qnatrebhf."
Gubznf Tbyq juveyrq nebhaq gb svaq gung Dhvaa unq sbyybjrq uvz va.
"Bayl Tenyvxbj pna ernq gur obbx nf vg'f hcqngvat jvgubhg tbvat vafnar. Naq gur jevgref jbhyq syvc gurve fuvg vs gurl xarj nobhg obbx gjb. Rira gurl qba'g unir gung."
"Ohg guvf... guvf vf vafnar!"
"Juvpu vf jul jr zhfg yrnir orsber gur jevgref svther bhg gur pvcure. Yrg'f tb!"
*****
"Oh thank god." Labyrinth sighed in relief. "I got a substation cipher up. That should hold them."
"Hold who?"
"The writers."
"But... you can't keep secrets from the writers!"
"We can now. Trust me. If they decode the cipher and find out what's in that room, our cause is doomed. This makes the twist about the three possible Silvestrons seem pathetic in comparison."
"But this is a horribly unsatisfying post! So many questions and convolutions!"
"Tough sh*t." Labyrinth sneered. "Now, Thomas Gold. You do know why I had you rescue Honeybadger, right?"
"No..."
"He trained Percy Silver. So I'm going to have him train you too. You will be Silvestron. The alternative is loosing."
"But... what was the ciphered section? How do you decode it? Was the Tale of Tail an innuendo the whole time? Are Dr Laser and The Salamander really dead? Is-"
"Classified, someone will crack it eventually, apparently so, yes. Now, no more questions."
******
"Oh yes. Oh yes."
*pacing*
"You shouldn't have possessed me with the same goddamn spell you possessed Woman In Pink. Goggles counteract that."
*a cackle*
"I now have complete access to your innermost thoughts. You will die. I will kill you and take my rightful place at the Horned One's side. The GOD trusts me. They are fools. I will bring terror upon your world, Elegabalus. I will destroy Elbaf. Raze it. Kill everyone you love. And then, Bronze Mage? I'll... sweeten the deal.
*honey drips onto the floor as the figure walks away*
*the figure trips*
"Who left a copy of the directors cut of TATMRR lying about? Imma disintegrate this trash!"
1This is meant to be entirely ironic. Toz76 and 3WSR studios would like to remind you that in real life, this type of thing is probably sexual harrassment in real life, and you should fall in love based on personality rather than posterior. Complaints can be shoved up your own thicc ass.
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Post by Tug on Jul 30, 2017 14:42:54 GMT -5
SOM Spoilers for the end of the ToM and for before the start of the Game III: {Spoiler}
Meanwhile, Redfox had a few questions for his father figure...
"My lord, this may seem disrespectful, but I have a few questions to ask you..." asked Redfox sternly
"Yes my son, what is worrying you so?" replied Metalicana
"I have questions regarding the girl, the demon, and the secrets you hold..." responded Redfox
"I knew this day would come, like I said before, the girl standing before you is apart of my 'actual' flesh and blood, she is a one of a kind dragon... Her name is Zemlya. Introduce yourself young one..."
"Hello brother, I'm your younger sister Zemlya, it is an honor to meet someone whose mastery of Darkness is second only to father's..." bowed Zemlya
"Stop with the pleasantries, we're siblings, no need for that useless crap..." groaned Redfox
"Oh I know, I was just doing as Vados asked me too, she is right, you are easy to tick off" laughed Zemlya
"That woman! If she were here I'd show her!" growled Redfox
"Watch your tongue boy! If she were here you would already be begging for my mercy to have her stop pounding you into the floor! Now do as I have asked like the loyal son you are!" yelled Metalicana as his claw slammed into the castle floor...
"Forgive me for my foolishness Father... It was... Out of turn..." said Redfox as he bowed in defeat
"Good, now let me finish what you asked me about so we can get started... Since you said demon I can only assume you're referring to 'that one' since you're such good friends with Tartaros... The one known as 'Iblis', the Demonic Emperor is still very alive... The method used to entrap him in our 'Betrayer' was never meant to be used with the Spring Water from Yao, allowing Iblis to escape Death all this time. He is an entity greatly underestimated in this current age, and the only ones to prepare for him is us, though the day he comes is not one we should hope for. I was watching that tournament and saw his return, which is why I called you back here immediately. And as for secrets, well, I am not a fool as to reveal all my plans as of now, especially after figuring out who's the Colorman anchor..." replied Metalicana
"The Curse of the Anchor? I thought that disappeared after the Philos Incident? No Colormen has been showcasing any of the evil tenacities that come with it..." questioned Redfox
"There is one actually, and it's quite clear if you think about it hard enough, though I have a few plans I need to finish before I can use him... One of those involves Zemlya. Now, Redfox, as I called you here, I need you to teach Zemlya how to use her powers, like I taught you and you taught the Dragonborns. Her mother already took care of the other half of her powers, and today is the beginning of her use of the Darkness naturally born inside of her. I would teach her myself, but I still have a few questions regarding her biology before I showcase her the natural power of the Darkness Dragons..." responded Metalicana
"By sheer guess I can only assume the mother is our Lady, Queen of the Frost Dragons, did she finally win your heart?" mocked Redfox
"Quiet Boy!" shouted Metalicana as he slammed his claw into Redfox and sent him flying into a wall, Zemlya laughed at the whole charade, "She is a powerful woman and I decided she would suffice in making the ultimate weapon for me to use, if you have a problem with it, go take it up to her, your stepmother. Besides, she's been my wife for the entire time you've been away being 'independent' in the Demon Realm, now begin! I want to see how you handle being a leader! I won't be around forever and if you can't even handle one girl than you can't handle an entire organization! I might as well gift SOM to Raios at this rate..."
A fire had been lit under Redfox and now he was ready, the right trigger had been pulled...
"Alright Father, I'll handle this... Come on Sister, show me what you got!" yelled Redfox as he beckoned Zemlya
"Let's see if you can handle my best!"
"Let's see if you can handle MY worst!"
The two clashed as an infinite blackness devoured their forms...
"Good, it seems you two are doing fine, let me handle some personal business... Sebaastian, send for Lord Ainz, I wish to discuss some things with my advisor..."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Jul 30, 2017 19:48:50 GMT -5
I'm sorry, but this has to come out into open discussion-
at this point, the curse of the anchor makes no sense in the greater context of the story. You will see when I do the game post what I mean.
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Post by Toz76 on Jul 30, 2017 22:16:02 GMT -5
I know. But that evil had to go somewhere, and it did. The "anchor" per second doesn't exist at the moment, but Percy Silver is currently holding all that evil, and if he tried to use the Prism, which, as a currently good character, he could, the anchor curse would remanifest and he would become the anchor again.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 3, 2017 23:32:04 GMT -5
It was a cold night, and Thomas was taking some coal trucks along his branch line. Suddenly, a burst of magic emerged from the bushes, and a tall figure tumbled out. The driver stopped the train. "Hello? Are you hurt?" Thomas' driver called. "I'm fine, thanks." The figure stood and turned to them. "Kendarboo Flickerbee!" Thomas' fireman gasped. "What happened?" Thomas' driver asked. "No time to explain. I need your help. Do you still have that remote thing?" "Yeah, right here, actually." Thomas' driver pulled it out and tossed it to him. "I'll need it back when you're done, though. I'm borrowing it from someone." "That's fine, I just need to-" But suddenly, a bolt of lightning forked through the woods, and a sudden burst of gold lightning illuminated the ground. When the blinding light cleared, Kendarboo was on his knees, the golden light was hovering above him, two charred corpses lay on the ground, and a shadowy figure was circling them. "My crew!" Thomas exclaimed. "You... you killed them!" "They didn't even have names!" The shadowy figure shot back. "Or established personalities! It's not even clear if you've had just one crew this whole time!" Thomas was furious. Suddenly, his side rods began to glow with a vivid auburn hue and he began hovering above the rails, crackling with energy. "YOU KILLED MY DRIVER!" Thomas yelled in a deep, reverberating voice. "NOW YOU WILL PAY!" Kendarboo hurriedly pressed a button on the remote and he, the light, and the shadowy figure were whisked away. Thomas crashed back down on the ground, the impact cracking his wheels. "What just happened?" He wondered aloud. "That's what we want to know." A voice said. Thomas felt a sudden bitter cold, and then he fell unconscious. ****** "How come you didn't warn me Thomas could do that?" Lightbender yelled, furious. "He could have killed me!" "I didn't know he could. It doesn't matter, anyway. We got what we came for." Kendarboo displayed the remote with a subtle grin. "So what. We have a TV remote. What's it do?" "Obviously, it's an ancient artifact only the chosen one, myself, can possess." Sol replied, floating down. "Not this time, I'm afraid, Mary Sue." Kendarboo chuckled. "So what's it do?" Lightbender grumbled. "Lots of things, actually." Kendarboo pointed the remote into the middle distance. "But for our purposes..." He pressed the "ON DEMAND" button, and a list of TV shows and movies popped up. "Let us prepare an army, from whatever movies and shows come to mind. It's time... for a crossover." Follow-up: Thomas woke up in a small, cramped shed. It quickly became clear why it was cramped. Another engine was behind him. "Hi Thomas! It's me, River Tid!" "Where am I?" Thomas asked. "I'm glad you asked." A tall man in a suit walked up. "My name is Sam. And this is the Dimension of Infinite West Coast American Seaside Towns." "Huh?" "This is a dimension with a different quaint seaside town- not unlike ones in western Washington, Oregon, and Northern California- every five miles. You're here to run a rail service through all the towns we've colonized so far: Hundertup: Northern Terminus for now, turntable Funfunneunup: Small terminal Neunup: Small terminal Funfunachtup: Start of the Island Overshadow, where there's a large unexplored landmass a few miles offshore. Achtup: Passing loop Funfunsiebup: Entrance to Eastbound Road A (forest) Siebup: Small terminal Funfunsechsup: End of the Island Overshadow Sechsup: Small terminal Funfunfunfup: Small terminal, great name Funfup: Larger terminal Vierunfunfup: Passing loop Vierup: Small terminal Dreiunfunfup: Small terminal Dreiup: Small terminal Zweiunfunfup: Passing loop Zweiup: Small terminal Einunfunfup: Small terminal Einup: Small terminal Nachtunfunfup: Small terminal Seaside Prime: Where this shed is. Turntable, goods shed, large terminal, exit to main dimension Nachtunfunfdon: Entrance to Eastbound Road B (mountain) Eindon: Small terminal Einunfunfdon: Small terminal Zweidon: Small terminal Zweiunfunfdon: Small terminal Driedon: Passing loop Dreiunfunfdon: Small terminal Vierdon: Small terminal Vierunfunfdon: Small terminal Funfdon: Large terminal Funfunfunfdon: Small terminal Sechsdon: Small terminal Sechsunfunfdon: Small terminal Siebdon: Small terminal Siebunfunfdon: Entrance to Eastbound Road C (plains) Achtdon: Small terminal Achtdpunfunfdon: Marina Neundon: Small terminal Neununfunfdon: Southern terminus (for now), turntable Hundertdon: Off limits to you two for now." "That's far too much exposition." River Tid said. "Also, you kidnapped us!" Thomas exclaimed. "Yes. And your coaches. And you're trapped here forever. Unless someone can rescue you, since you can't escape." Suddenly, Sam morphed into a large American tender engine. "I'll be keeping an eye on you..." he said as he steamed off. Thomas looked around him. To the west, clear blue ocean. To the east, a small town, behind which was a thick pine forest, with snow-capped mountains rising up beyond. North and south were the same as here. "Thomas! You're here too?" "Annie! Clarabel! The Bronze Mage kidnapped us and is forcing us to work here!" "How dreadful!" "No, it's great!" "Thomas? Are you out of your mind?" "Don't you see? I'M PART OF THE STORY AGAIN!"
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 4, 2017 0:23:17 GMT -5
"Man In Blue, sir!"
"At ease, Man In Crayola Blue. What is it."
"A package for you. From... Fark Ulysses Cardinal Kenneth Edwin Devonshire."
"A package from... that's his real name?"
"That's what was on this note, sir."
The note read simply: "look, I know you don't trust me. I wouldn't trust me either. But I promise you this, there's nothing malicious in this box. Scan it if you like."
"We scanned it thoroughly sir, it appears to contain a short letter and an envelope full of what we think are pictures."
"Why would Fark send me something like that?"
"Well, he does hate us..."
Man In Blue sighed. "I'll open it in my study."
In his study, Man In Blue opened the box and grabbed the letter first.
"Dear Man In Blue
I know we aren't on the best of terms, but I wanted to extend the proverbial olive branch and apologize for my behavior at the tournament. I got a bit carried away showing off. That said, I still take issue with many of the things that were said. So I decided to show you my side of the story. Inside the envelope are some pictures. There's annotations on the back. Enjoy!
Yours, Fark.
PS, that's not my real name. Blame Toz's immature sense of humor for that travesty."
Man In Blue opened the envelope. Inside were about twenty pictures, printed and kind of grainy, rubber banded in order. Man In Blue grabbed the first one and gasped.
The picture showed a bride and groom, laughing as the bride poured champagne into the groom's glass at a wedding reception. The bride was a tall black woman with cornrows and a big smile, who bore a striking resemblance to Fark. The groom was a large, red-skinned orc, wearing a tuxedo and laughing. On the back, Fark had written: "My sister Reyna and her husband Ch'graak at their wedding reception."
The second picture was of the same couple, a couple years later. Reyna was lying in a hospital bed, cradling a half-orc baby and smiling. Ch'Graak stood at the head of the bed, beaming. The caption for this one said "Reyna and Ch'Graak after the birth of their first child, Sue."
Man In Blue paused. He realized what he'd done.
"The orcs were irredeemable savages. We had to wipe them out."
"Their cerebral cortex is very small. They're incapable of anything but killing."
All the stories in Colorfolk lore bubbled up in his mind. But the pictures in front of him told a different story. The Colorfolk hadn't realized what they were doing. They thought they were doing the right thing. But just because something is done with good intent and a belief that they're doing the right thing doesn't mean they really are.
Man In Blue shuffled through the rest of the pictures. There was Ch'graak grilling hotdogs, in the stands at a football game, teaching a now much older Sue how to use a sword at "Take Your Daughter To Work" day, snorkeling with Reyna.
The last picture showed Ch'Graak and Reyna's families posing in a yard. The happy couple was in the middle, with their kids around them. Fark and his parents stood behind Reyna, and several orcs stood next to Ch'Graak. They were all grinning eagerly for the camera. A much longer note was on the back of this picture.
"Dear Daniel,
Now you see why I've been so short with you of late. I have nothing against you personally, but when you say things like that about orcs, it sounds like hate speech. And believe me, I'm black and neutral, I know hate speech. I don't think you meant any real malice by this, and I trust you'll do the right thing and publicly apologize. I look forward to our factions being able to put aside our differences and work together.
Yours, Fark Devonshire."
Woman In Blue found Man In Blue in his study several hours later, staring at the picture. "Living On The 110" by Prophets Of Rage was playing on repeat. It didn't really fit the mood, but I like the song.
"Daniel, what's wrong?"
Man In Blue wordlessly handed her the box.
"I see."
Man In Blue sighed wordlessly.
"Look, how do I say this..." Melody paused. "Just because your ancestors made some mistakes doesn't make them, or you, bad people. They did what they thought was right. History proved them wrong. It's a shame, but it's in the past. All you can do is accept it and move on."
Man In Blue sniffed. "Thanks, Melody."
"My pleasure. You're not the only one questioning the actions of their ancestors."
"Oh?"
"700 years ago, Woman In Blue burned down a storehouse believing there was a gang of rapists living inside of it. She killed the rapists, but she also destroyed most of Wellsworth's winter stores. Hundreds of people starved to death."
"Oh Melody, I had no idea-"
"Don't worry. I accept my ancestors mistakes, but I also know she had noble intentions. As long as we take the bad with the good, we can still remember them with respect."
"Still, what my ancestor did was close to genocide."
"If you can't forgive his actions, talk to the Prism spirit. He can make sure that part of your lineage's history is forgotten."
"Where did you get all this great advice from?"
"I wish I could take the credit, but I got most of this from my pen-pal, Clive. He's the American Man In Black. We've been chatting for about a year now. After you, he's probably one of the people I trust the most. Oh, don't look at me like that," she added with at giggle, "he's gay. And I would never cheat on you."
Man In Blue smiled, in a significantly better mood.
"You know, it's getting pretty late." He told Woman In Blue. "Maybe we should head back to our quarters."
"Maybe we should head back to your quarters." Woman In Blue replied with a mischievous grin.
I refuse to end a post on that note, so here's a limerick about Percy Silver.
"Percy Silver is such a fool. He's dumb, ignorant, and he drools. But as you can see, The Fandom agrees, The character's really quite cool."
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 4, 2017 8:55:05 GMT -5
Fark had received a package from Sodor. Inside he found a tablet and a few other items.
Fark-
I do not deny that I may have said some things that sounded like hate speech. Please understand though, that our ancestors did what they did because no other options existed. The Orcs Wars of the 1200s were in response to their actions, not random acts of senseless violence. The spirit did inform me that our faction does predate yours by 500 years or so, so it is understandable that we saw things that yours did not. We are bound by oath to not lie, and with that in mind, I will offer you full disclosure. Within the tablet you see here; we have scanned to file all notes and journals in our archives concerning the Orc research the Colormen performed from 1204 to 1275. As a magic user, I'm sure you have a copy of our monster guide somewhere in your library; after all it is the only text on the subject that exists. Consider these notes the "unabridged" version of that particular chapter. We do not hate species "just for being a certain way," rather we drew our conclusions based on objective, scientific research and observation. As unfortunate as it is, this was the Sudrian Orc; as well as in many other places. The orcs you are familiar with, I have no doubt have changed, but historically, as you shall see- we did what we had to do to protect Sodor.
-Daniel
Fark looked through the documents, and was shocked with what he saw- even in the era of scientific repression, the Colormen's work was objective and factual- he could even make out an early form of the scientific method. Then came the evidence-
"Orcs on Sodor had no burial rituals; they just left their dead where they fell. This brain is from one such fallen orc warrior. It had been preserved for educational purposes, and we hope it will shed light on where we are coming from; this is just one of many"
Looking over the brain, Fark was intrigued- as the Colormen said, the frontal lobe was indeed smaller. The genetic testing report attached confirmed it was an orc brain.
After looking over the notes and evidence, Fark came to the last item- a crystal
"This is how the Orc Wars started" the note said. Touching it, Fark found himself witnessing a vision. The King of Sodor, some Colormen and others were meeting with the chiefs of the eight orc tribes that lived on Sodor.
"Orcs, you have pillaged our homes and killed our kind long enough. We are here to find a middle ground. You will cease your unjust killing of our kind at once, or we will be forced to take action" the king declared.
"You dare order us? You make us not warriors?! Orc are warrior! We spill blood to prove worthy warrior!" One chief declared.
"But why is? We never did anything to you" the king pointed out.
"Human easy kill. No hard shell, no scales, just soft pink" another orc chief declared.
"Well it must end here. If you will lay down your arms, we will work out an arrangement that benefits both of us" the king offered
"We WARRIORS!! We fight WAR! Sodor become land of Orc!" A third chief shouted as the others did battle cries.
"You leave us no choice. If you attack us again... we will fight back" the king decreed.
"You fall easily! Orcs bigger!" Another chief said as the eight left. The course of history had been set.
......
"But why? Why would the orcs do something like that?" Fark thought to himself.
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Post by frankthetriviaman on Aug 5, 2017 14:56:23 GMT -5
*To clarify- history did not "prove them wrong" see the aftermath post in the Orc timeline for details
in short; I will concede that maybe their actions had some wrong; but they were also right; the line is just more blurred than I realized.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 5, 2017 18:27:58 GMT -5
Maybe their cause was just, but genocide is wrong no matter how you spin it.
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Post by Toz76 on Aug 17, 2017 23:31:38 GMT -5
Minor spoiler, at some point during the space arc, they're going to crash land on a desolate planet. This is what will happen...
******
Man In Blue was one of the first to stir. Standing up, he surveyed the area.
The ship had crashed on the side of a hill. The unconscious forms of various aliens and humans lay scattered on the slope.
The slope itself was a plain gray rock. As was most of the surrounding landscape. The rock was somehow unmarred by craters, and was simply a flat gray surface. Here and there, vegetation crept through cracks in the rocks, and a shallow river, no more than a couple feet deep and about six feet across, snaked its way past. In the distance, a lava flow slowly dribbled out of a volcano.
Man In Blue walked to the top of the hill, making sure to "accidentally" step on Fark's flesh hand on the way up.
This side was very similar to the other side, however there was one big difference: a pair of buildings, no more than six feet high, were positioned by the river, which had been partially rerouted to create a hydroponic garden.
Suddenly, out of the house emerged two Presuisoltians, one male and one female. The tiny aliens saw Man In Blue and pulled out tiny laser pistols with cute little disintegrate settings.
"I don't think it's a threat." The male said. "It's Presuisoltianoid."
"I come in peace." Man In Blue said, scurrying down the slope towards them.
"It speaks Totufreytgian." The female observed.
"Um, this is English."
"Huh, weird."
"So, me and my friends are stranded here. We need your aid." Man In Blue said.
"Are they all as big as you?" The female snarked.
"Roughly."
"Eh, you're smaller than the galactic average. We can accommodate you in a cave or something."
"I'm Man In Blue." Man In Blue said redundantly.
"I am Alexakebert, and this is Stephentrelboc." The female said. "We are all that remains of a once-proud race called the Presuisoltians."
"Actually... there are about 3400 living on my planet, and their number grows every day."
"There are still Presuisoltians living! Then there is hope for our redemption!" Stephentrelboc exclaimed. "Come, I have some gifts for them."
Stephentrelboc dragged out a large sack. "Here are some seeds. Jiminmy, Commerson, Coxswain... plus enough Dandride to built a new Base Dercudigi."
"We also have some cryogenically frozen livestock." Alexakebert continued. "We've got six breeding pairs of Amoria, Dervish, Whorebitchian Pissass-"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Whorebitchian Pissass. It's a large creature with four legs, a long, whiplike tail, and fearsome claws. It also makes a good steak."
Man In Blue held up the cryo-canister. "That's a cat."
"No, it's a Whorebitchian Pissass. Cats are an old wives tale."
"Whatever." Man In Blue sighed. "So will you help us?"
Stephentrelboc and Alexakebert whispered amongst themselves.
"I'm afraid we have something that must be done before we can help you. Your species' long legs and short heads make you ideal for the task." Alexakebert said.
"What is it?"
"We need to reconstruct a device called the "Sphere". It is a large sphere the size of a man, all red, with great power. It was split into nine pieces, which were scattered in a thirty-deriunk radius around here. We have recovered four, but the other five pieces are in more dangerous places. We need your help to rebuild it."
"I suppose we can do that." Man In Blue said. "Finding the pieces for large artifacts of vague power is a fairly common trope around here. Do you know where the pieces are?"
"One is on the slopes of the volcano. One is buried in the snow on a mountain in the south. Two are somewhere in the tunnels of the Purple Worm, which burrows here. And the fifth is in that deep pit of despair right there."
A circular hole, a few feet in diameter, was on the other side of the river. Man In Blue looked in and saw a red object, about the size of his phone, lying on the floor of the cave.
"Guys, this thing is like twenty feet tops. I can just climb down and grab it." Man In Blue found some handholds, went into the hole, grabbed the sphere piece, and returned.
"Well... it's dangerous when you're short." Stephentrelboc stuttered.
"One down, four to go. Easy." Man In Blue thought to himself.
He was so wrong.
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